Yesterday, after I sent out the last blog in an email to my family and friends, I laid down for a nap.When I got up my email box was full of encouragement. Some made me cry, some I felt immediatly hugged by, some i felt encouraged and hopeful, all of them I felt loved...in ALL of them I heard the voice of God...He was still there!...still reaching out. not just about my trust issues with babies and birth and losses...but with everything...still providing, still loving me, actively involved in ALL areas...I could hear His whispers...

From my cousin:

 Remember that if she does have it,
there are ways to deal with the effects. When she is older they can take care of the height issue with growth hormones. The infertility can be addressed as well. Females with Turner's also have access to a special donor bank. Also keep in mind that if she does have it the signs and symptoms is a possible combination - meaning not all occur in the same person. So she may have a few but not all. The kidney and other systems concerns can all be managed. It may mean a different life, she may need medication and doctors appointments, but should have a normal life span with a good quality of life. She is very blessed to have you as a mom. You stay very educated about this kind of stuff which will be a tremendous help to her as symtoms will be caught early when they are most easy to treat...."

and God whispers, "I am here...you are not alone..."

From my mom:

I was just outside having my coffee and praying for Julia and God brought into rememberance about when you were born with non-thriving syndrom, and he healed you and made you whole by the time you were 1 and a half;  it just kept going and going on in my head.  And I felt the Lord tell me for us not to worry.  He has Julia in his hands just as he had you. That if theres anything wrong its He that can make it right again.  Not just her neck size; but EVERYTHING.  I know how hard it is to think that something could be wrong with your child, you were slowly dying.  But see how perfect God turned you out. Take it all in stride.  Know when you've prayed all you can there's all the rest of us cutting up the slack.  I think Julia WILL be ok.  We have a big God. Dont worry,God's aware....

And He whispers again..."I am here.... I am here...."

From a close friend:

i'll be praying that everything is just fine for all of your precious babies... and that you'll find some peace while you're waiting for answers... *sometimes the not knowing phase is worse than knowing*.

"Don't fear...I'm here"

then He stepped it up a step further and addressed my fears with the baby...(afterall He doesn't ever do anything halfway, does He?)

From another close friend:

About the baby. With Nick I was measuring fine at one appointment, went the next time and fundal height hadn't grown at all. They freaked out and did an ultrasound. Baby was turned sideways but he was actually measuring bigger than his gestation. Then they worried about his head being to big to pass through the birth canal. Well -- He only weighed 6 lbs 13 oz. so just breathe. Maybe baby is turned funny or different doctors have slightly different ways of measuring SO it could just be the fact that you have not seen the same dr twice in a row....

"I am here with you, I am the Most high God and I am still in control..."

From my dear Sister In law, (whose whole letter left me in tears, but I will only include a peice of it here for size sake) I could hear such a peace in her tone:

"With little Joseph James IV, he is a promise to you from God (Kevin and I both knew that you would give birth to a boy while you were overseas before you left). He is a gift, and I know you know that and God is going to take care of him and you. He might be small, but you have a bit of a history giving birth to small babies. With your build can you imagine passing a 10 or 11 pound infant?! I think that would be traumatic to both the baby and you, so I believe God is keeping this child "small" in utero for a reason... Even if it does turn out that Julia does have Turner Syndrome, remember that is God's plan for her. I am sure regardless of what comes of this that Julia will be one of the most loved and loving little girls to ever grace this planet. She touches the hearts of everyone that comes in contact with her and SHE IS ONLY FOUR. Imagine what she will be like at 24, 34, 44 ..... especially, with the love and support that she will receive from you and Joe..."

"you are not forgotten.

your struggles are not 'looked over'.

neither is Julia...

trust me.

I am here and will continue to be..."

I received this from my Aunt this morning:

...If I were in your shoes--of course I would worry since that is human--but I would accept the care from your doctor as Jesus' hands and heart taking care of you and your family in a very tangible way, not way up there sort of floating around; that He is actually watching out for you in a very concrete way..."

"my Spirit is reminded of that song...

He's got the whole world in His hands,

He's got the whole world in His hands...

He's got the itty bitty children in His hands..."

Thank you...to all of you..

for reaching out and hugging me,

and holding all of us in prayer!

We will keep you all informed..