New Year's Resolutions Current mood: thoughtful   With 2006 looming right around the corner, I have been thinking a bit on New Year's Resolutions. The immediate things I want to change, or become, is easy to answer...a better wife. A better mother. A better friend. A better daughter to my Father, the King of Kings. But when I begin to ponder the things I could change to attain these new "resolutions" my mind goes further than "get up earlier and make breakfast", "discipline yourself to be more patient with the kids", or even "wait when talking to your friends, listen more- talk less" kind of thing. It goes more to a root of all these things...is there one simple underlying change I can make to send a domino effect and change all these other things? The answer, is both yes and no. Yes these things can all be attained with one simple change, and No I myself can not do it on my own. It begins in the heart. "A humble and contrite heart." With a heart softened with the understanding of it's own shortcomings, it is "teachable". It contains a willingness for change, to be broken, to be made soft, to be moldable. A potter has to soften his lump of clay in order for it to attain any kind of shape, becoming a beautiful vessel or not, it all *starts* with being made soft, pliable, moldable. Hard clay that is unable to be softened is thrown out for it is of no use to the potter. A hardened heart yields the same. It is stubborn, it is proud, it is cold, it is afraid of failure, it is unrepentant. I desire a heart that is soft. That weeps when He weeps. That reaches out to help those in need unafraid and unhindered. A heart that is meek, gracious. Slow to wrath and quick to forgive. These things do not come naturally, our very flesh actually strives against them! And that is why I can not attain the things mentioned above on my own. I NEED God's help. His guidance. His potter's hands molding me, shaping me, cutting away the parts that are of no use to Him. If my heart feels as He does, it will be: filled with Love, compassion, understanding, and  patience. Then, and only then, will I automatically be able to be a: better wife, a better mother, a better friend, and a better daughter to my heavenly Father. Simply because I would be better at reflecting Him. A daughter taking on her father's likeness. So this is my resolution for this next year, (and *prayerfully* the rest of my life), To seek God for a humble and soft heart so that I see my own failings and realize how much I need Him.... To ask God for change, and then to surrender to it.... To not put on a "flawless face", but to be willing to be shown as the weak vessle that I am (with my many flaws) so that other's are encouraged they are not alone.... I am not perfect, and I do not strive for perfection, but only to be made complete in Him.... ... To crawl into His lap as a child does to thier father, to feel His arms holding me, His heart beating against mine, to hear His soft words of encouragement, and of love. This is what keeps me trying and renews my hope,... knowing when I come to His throne with a contrite heart I will not find a condemning, angry, powerful God.... But a God of a powerful love whom is anxious to forgive, and is yearning to hold me just as much as I am Him. Lord, you know my prayer. Humble my heart so that I am always reaching for you, and thus learning more of who you are, and becoming more of whom You desire for me to be.   "But now, O Lord You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And we are the work of Your hand." ~ Isaiah 64:8