Peace in the Storm Current mood: peaceful   Stop.  Right now and, Choose: Listen or read. The song I have attached to this blog, "Praise you in this Storm" by Casting Crowns, is just as important as the words to follow. Make a choice now, either turn down your speakers, read first, and then listen to the song. Or stop reading, listen to the song as it plays, then read as you are ready. I wish the words of the song and the blog to compliment eachother. This is going to be a somber post. One of peace, but also one of challenge, and of grief. I do not want the words of the song and of the following blog, written from the pen of my heart, to compete and be lost to eachother. ***If the music is not playing, try the alternate link Here*** Stop........Make the choice.   Read, or Listen first?   We all go through trials. through testing. Through times when we question ourselves, our faith. Times when we may feel strong, and yet discouraged. Where we may have hope, and yet feel totally helpless. And then there are times, like in extreme cases of grief, where that seems to be all there is. Just a sense of loss, an extreme time of hurt, sorrow and longing. Several people in my life recently have had to "cope" with life's uncertainties. My friend Brandie has recently dealt with the throngs of a sudden loss of her step-father, how to juggle her own grief and the rest of her life's happenings when part of her life has caved in unexpectedly (Brandie's blog here)... And two of my closest friends experiencing miscarriages of their babies, and with that the harsh reality how this world places very little value on life at all, and little to no value to one just beginning. How does one cope with this grief? When you know in your heart there was more than "just cells and tissue". When the promise had been taken away, and the hope that is left fills with doubting. My friend Tiffany, preparing for college abroad. Filling in the many forms, sending the applications, and then waiting, and trusting that all will be done and ready, the Visa will go through, the money will be in place, the one way plane ticket will not be bought in vain. Waiting and trusting, as the days slowly tick off and she is absolutely refusing to give in to lies to distract her (Tiffany's blog here)... And us, a month ago or so our dear Julia fell and sustained a very severe injury to her face, her mouth to be exact. 2 different ER's and 3 different ER docs in a two day period, all giving little to no hope for complete healing. **(I will be doing another blog on the status of this soon. It is such a strong testament of God's grace and faithfulness, who He is inspite of us, as well as a modern day miracle for good measure lol.)** So when man doubts, where does God stand? When man shakes thier hands and gives up, what does God do? When we feel the loss of our loved ones, does God feel it too? And when a situation arises, that you can't run from, that you have to face head on...how can we hope, how can we trust when our very hearts are disquieted and overwhelmed with fears, doubts, and uncertainties? These are questions I have been mulling over in the last 2 months, and then last night I was met head on with someting I couldn't run from, or put off for more time to *think* about. My mother is very sick right now. She has been in the hospital for awhile, and yesterday I was met with the reality that I can not control her life (or death) on this side of the ocean or on that side....... And God showed me it's OKAY. *deep breath* It's okay After a very long time spent last night, in stillness, with this very same song by Casting Crowns playing over and over, looking up, skimming the Bible, and a quiet conversation with my Father I absorbed what I was finding. Like water to sand. Like lungs to air. Life giving breathes of reassurance filling all within me, He assured me of how big He is. How capable He is. He doesn't rest. He doesn't sleep. Nothing slips past Him..... "Have you not known? Have you not heard? the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the Earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable." ~Isaiah 40:28 He has planned out accordingly our steps since before our births. He knows the breaths that we breathe, He knows the number of our days, from the first day we take our first gasp of breath as a newborn infant, to our last sigh as we let go of this life around us....He knows. When death occurs it does not take Him by surprise. *I have to remember that.* I have to know that whenever my mom goes to be with Him, It was known to Him since the beginning of the Ages, and since He orders our steps and we each have a place in His mighty plan, I must accept. It will be her time. Her last day will have come and gone according to plan, and all is at peace. The peace I attained last night was the realization that God is God. Regardless of circumstances, He doesn't change. He isn't surprised. When life gets crazy, He is still calm. When things take us by surprise, He already knew. When I doubt and fear, He is strong and His perfect love casts out all fear. (1John 4:18) I don't have to struggle with "what to do", because He has already done it. I get the luxury to rest in Him and in His assurance. I have attached the words to the song that is playing now. my favorite line is bolded. That was the "lightbulb" moment for me. When it all came into place, and peace replaced fear... God remains unchanging no matter where I am. If I am faithful or if I am doubting, if I am fearing, if I am untrusting, He is still who He is and He will still work through His perfect plan. So I don't have to be anything, or try to be anything, but just to rest, pray, and praise Him for being Who He is!..."faithful to a thousand generations", unchanging, of all kindness, mercy, and love. God doesn't abandon us. He makes a way, He fills the voids. When the storm doesn't quiet, He buckles the hatches, ties the ropes, and presses us close to His chest. We are not alone in our struggles, or in our grief. He offers peace instead of confusion. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."~ John 16:33 "My peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." ~ John 14:27 "Praise you in this storm" By Casting Crowns "I was sure by now, that you would have reached down, And wiped our tears away. stepped in and saved the day But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining. As the thunder rolls, I barely hear you whisper  through the rain, "I'm with you." And as your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives, and takes away.   **I'll praise you in this storm, And I will lift my hands For You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I've cried, You hold in your hand You never left my side, And though my Heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.**   I remember when, I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry, you raised me up again My strength is almost gone, How can I carry on If I can't find you, I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, The Maker of Heaven and Earth.   **I'll praise you in this storm, And I will lift my hands For You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I've cried, You hold in your hand You never left my side, And though my Heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm."**