This almost gives me the willies it just fits so well. So after writing in this blog about almost taking God out of the Promise for a third child by attempting to find my security in my own works instead of just resting in Him, I come across this paragraph on pg 123 if my book Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. (no,I haven't read that far, still chewing on the first 4 chapters, I'd just skipped ahead on this particular night and came across this....)

"...My relationship with God had become a substitute for God. Instead of praise, adoration, wonder, and thanksgiving, the focus shifted to the relationship, to where I stood with God, huffing and puffing in an effort to impress him, thrashing about trying to fix myself, placing my security in my resume.."

See why I am loving this book?! It is SOO where I am right now, except worded better than I could do myself! *laughs* It's one of those books I can't wait to read at night, but then don't want to ever finish reading lol...but thankfully, the way it is written I think I can re-read it over and over and still glean from it. Afterall, I think I am on round 5 or 6 on repeating the first 4 chapters just gleaning all I can, over and over. I'm just so knee-deep in the works/faith/grace stuff right now...and God doesn't dissapoint! More and more I am finding it is less about ME, less of what I do or don't do, and so much more about Him, what He does and how far He covers, How He delights in loving me, even at my most unlovable! I am so very much in love with the fact He takes me as I am, "warts and all!" And that it's a FACT, nothing that can be changed! I've never felt more secure than I do now. He's just so amazing!

One last thing, here are some song lyrics I just absolutely adore! I bought this whole album just for the sake of this one song... (which as soon as I FIND the cd I will post a link to the song on here so you can listen to it!!)

"What If"

 ~By Jadon Lavik

What If I climbed that mountain,

What if I swam to that shore,

What if every battle was victorious,

then would you love me more?

would you love me more?

What if I were everyone's first choice,

What if I went further than before

What if I stood high above the rest

then would you love me more?

Would you love me more?

**Chorus: You say that I belong to you

apart from the things I do

You say I belong to you

I'm in awe of why you do,

why you do, why you do,

I'm in awe of You, oooh

What If I ignored the hand that fed me,

What if I forgot to confess

What if I stumbled down that mountain

then would you love me less?

would you love me less?

What if I were everyone's last choice?

what if I mixed in with the rest

What if I failed what I passed before

then would you love me less, Lord would you

would you love me less? oh no oh no oh no

**You say that I belong to you,

apart from the things I do

You say I belong to you,

I'm in awe of why you do

you do you do you do

What have I done

to deserve your son

sent to die for me?

What can I give

I want to live,

give me eyes to see

In a world that keeps changing

there's one thing that I know is true

Your love is stayin'

there's nothing else to hold on too!

**You say that I belong to you

apart from the things I do

You say I belong to you

I'm in awe of why you do

I'm in awe of you

I'm in awe of you....

That's pretty much all of it. It really is a beautiful song with a peaceful melody. I love listening to it because it is so freeing! As Grace always is, given freely with the purpose of freeing! "Human BEings, not Human DOings"...I'm just lovin' it!!