Nov. 8, 2006 - In The Middle
I feel as though I am in the middle of a huge event, like a concert, a conference or broadway play. I can see all of the actors, backstage workers and audiance at the same time their reactions and emotions. In my sphere of ministry I often teach about the "cycle" I talk about how as humanity we need to look at what our "cycle" is, watch our habits, or decisions and investigate as to why we keep coming against the same obstacles. I also explain that we in our human state will stay on our "cycle" while on this earth, BUT, we must continue to learn from our mistakes, accomplishments and feats. God the Father wants us to change and grow as we are on our "cycle" not stay the same but become better at life and our abilities He has given us. So, yesterday while going from Orthadontist to Piano Lesson, to Library I began to see my "cycle". Eventhough over the past 15 years of full-time ministry I have learned much about myself, and my limitations, I still proudly proclaim that I am on the potters wheel be formed and molded into a better me everyday! I stood in the middle of my "life concert" and said to myself..."Liz, why do you make stuff such an emotional big deal for yourself". For me life is full of many things right now, stressfull and not stressfull, but I have to follow my own advice and watch my process. I know it does not seem like such a big epiphany for some, but it is a sign that I am pushing 40 and my life focus is alot different than at 20. See, I identified my cycle about 7 years ago, but, SO. Identifying and doing something about it is different! I have spent 7 years pushing myself to change the "bad" stuff that has been deposited in me either voluntarily or involuntarily. So thus yesterday....I once again saw a flaw in my "cycle". My action will be to continue to work on the part of my personality that is sometimes "scattered" and to not feel like such a failure to my family when I don't meet all of "MY" expectations of the day. Yesterday was stressful, much on my plate, but it is a new day. This homeschooling season that we are in came at such a perfect time for me. I would have never been able to handle this when my children were younger...I was simply not the person I am today, still being healed from much trama in my life. But daily I look at my children as we are walking through the "enchanted forest of education" and see future, see warriors, I see products of what I am giving them right now and what I gave them as babies. That gives me good feelings inside and energy to move forward.
