2 out of 3 kids asleep ....3rd one on the way...Will i actually get to sleep tonight after being up for 2 days?? Its looking hopeful. :)

Well its looking like Courtney is going to end up being a classical education kinda girl. She seems to really need the routine and wants worksheets to do everyday.

I try to find stuff for her that follows her current intrests.

Im really praying for patience over Nate's diet . I really think it is/is going to help him in the long run.........but right now he is just screaming yelling fussing all day ...and getting excited and hitting...its making me crazy..I think its withdraws because we havent been able to find any other reason for it.

On the bright side.......he is more attentative. He has attempted a few new words like eh while touching my ear and ack! while hitting me on the back.

He has started soinning wheels on toys again............this may seem bad except that since about 2.8 toys havent existed to him unless they were small enough to shove in his mouth and chew on.

He is responding to some of my requests ...such as come here its time to take a bath and is over just more attentative.

Nicole

Reading is coming along so slowly. Im really trying to relax and not worry especially after I just got done writing a friend this big long e-mail about not worrying...but its hard. Its hard to break free from society's expectations that almost 7 year olds are reading. Untill yesterday mine didnt even want to be read to much less read herself. Yesterday she woke me up about 7 am and said momma read this please.......so maybe thats a good sign?

We went to the zoo Thursday saw the polar bears, went to once upon a farm and spent a long time in the aquarium looking at the eels. Im going to bring the camera next week so we can try to get a few pictures and I found a cute little story about an eel and a shark that I thought Courtney might like along with a couple coloring sheets.

Got my first Learn Free Live Free magazine a couple days ago. Read it cover to cover. LOVED IT. Even if I dont completely unschool I think the subscription is well worth the money.

We went from an ice storm to 70 degrees in less than a week .

Yesterday we went out to the childrens museum ....just Courtney and I the abies stayed home with dad. It was really nice we practicly had the place to ourselves....only about 4 other families there. She has asked me before but I actualy sat in the cockpit and "flew" the airplane with her ...usualy I wont because I dont want another child to miss the chance to play and explore.

We went by the bank and got play money ...she actualy filled out her own deposit slip this time. Then we went to the store and paid for some groceries. She climbed through the house and we played with the boats and waterway for a while.

I was surprised that she didnt ask to go to the stage the whole time ...I guess she has had her fill for now.

Today it was just to pretty . I sent her outside to write her spelling words which she did then her and Alyssa just ended up playing outside for a while. She came in and played on her leapster for a bit while I went to get Nate . Then we looked at the airplane book grandma sent and she put together a few airplanes and flew them outside.  

Well Courtney made it through her Dr. Visit just fine. I could tell she was extremely nervous while we were waiting but once she met Dr. E she relaxed.

Dr. E played with her and asked her some questions then ask me questions. I was very pleasantly suprised. I mentioned pulling her out to homeschool last week......most of "these doctors" seem to think its best for "these type kids" to be molded even forced into compliance with society's standard of school and social skills. His only question/comment was had I noticed a decrease in anxiety since pulling her?

The final word is borderline Aspbergers and definite anxiety disorder and OCD.

So in other words she takes after her momma.

She is starting medication however she sits in the drivers seat and steers while I work the pedals. She requested the dr visit and I assisted by making the appt and taking her. Since she decided to take the medicine I have asked her to take it for at least 2 weeks. We have guidelines as far as how high we can bring up the dosage and Courtney will be a big judge of how high and even wether or not to continue the medicine.

That said Im glad we went and I do hope that the medicine helps her. I went through this as a child ( still do ) but never got diagnosed. Though as an adult Im working hard to control my own thoughts/symptoms without medication I feel the medicine would have really helped me as a child.

I dont blame my parents or anything ....I think stuff like anxiety disorders wernt really recognized in children........after all what the heck did they have to worry about?

On a sad note........I think Ill be giving the dog back. I was afraid this might happen , my reason for a trial period. I do think its better to be honest from the begining if one is not sure. He is a wonderful dog and has the potential to be trained well but right now he isnt trained and my littest is terrified of him . Courtney is a bit dissapointed . We talked about having to think of all of our family members and how it wouldnt be any fun to be scared in your own home. I think that helped her understand a bit better.

What is puzzling me today? ....Sunday at church we were talking about .....ugh dont ask me to recall versus when Im half asleep. .....being careful of people who would have a negative impact on the church ...possibly split it up....and to warn others about certain people.

Ok well to me warning others about someone by name could become gossip .......not a good thing in a church.

and well Jesus spent so much of his time with beggers, liars, theifs, prostitutes.........

If we stay away from everyone who might have a negative impact on our church how to we reach them for jesus? how do we help them change? and most importantly how do we ourselves strengthen our fait and grow as christians.

Time to sleep. im exhausted.

I have decided to not even attempt any sort of formal schooling whatsoever every 4th week.

Why? Because god has blessed me with 3 sometimes difficult children and raging hormone monsters that appear one week of the month .

Id like to say its to get us closer to true unschooling but with raw honestly I must say its simply to keep me sane and my daughter safe from harm.

We went to our old church today. It was really great seeing a lot of people I have missed. Im considering going back to our old church on Sundays and continuing with our new on Wednesdays and giving Tuesday morning there a try. There is a bible study for moms and homeschool classes for children. Alyssa can go to the nursery area and Nate would be at his school. Not sure Ill have to pray and see what god would have me do.

Our neighbor around the corner's german shepards had puppies and she gave us one. I wasnt so sure I wanted a new puppy so soon after having to put our last dog down. Right now we are taking him for a 3 day trial to see how hell get on with the kids. He is laying on the floor next to Nathaniel and Nate is gently stroking him.....its just melting my heart.  Poor little guy came down with a fever this eve.

Nothing really schoolish happened today except maybe the sunday school lesson she colored and the grahm cracker boats and blue icing ocean she made .

Ok thats all I have to say for now so Ill leave you with some of a song that is stuck in my head............

My savior lives my savior loves my savior's always complete

My god he is my god he was my god he's always gonna be '

Well we pulled Courtney out of school last Tuesday so we are definetly still finding our way.

I want to unschool...I love the whole philosophy but my grades matter public school upbringing makes me unsure deep down. How will it really effect her future if she dosent study the Romans .....what if she studies nothing but the romans.

So Ive decided to keep a sort of Journal here about what the kids esp Courtney does each day . I hope that over time I will be able to go back through and see that she is covering a variety of subjects and topics over time.

I do assign a few things right now . Mainly reading . I feel she is starting to fall behind and that she is better able to teach herself what she wants to learn if she can read well.

Many radical unschoolers would say Im not really unschooling then but its my blog, Im trying to let go so for lack of a better term we currently classify ourselves as unschoolers.

Our day today.

Courtney got up this am and found the newest copy of Big Backyard and wanted me to read to her about tree frogs. I did . Then she asked me to look up more frogs on the internet . She became interested in the american bullfrog so I read about it to her and we printed a picture for the "big science book" she wants to make. Im going to do my best to bite my lip and not try to tell her how to make her book or what to put in it. I will happily write or tell her how to write whatever she wants and/or assist however she requests.

She got enough of frogs and took her little sister to her room to watch a magic school bus dvd . After that they ate and watched Zethura .

A while later I found her playing a math game on her leapster. When she tired of that she went to see her hampster Belle but Belle was sleeping so she left her be and gave her some fresh food and water.

We had a guy come to finish our bathroom today so she helped me clean up a bit them went to watch cartoons. Just a few minutes later one of the neighbors boys shows up asking if Ill help him look up snakes on the computer . So we did and Courtney joined us. Courtney continued looked at snake pictures on her own after her friend left . She got a piece of paper and decided to make a rating system. 1-100........the scarrier the snaked looked the higher score it got. The highest score 63 was given to a picture of a rat snake in the middle of eating ....well a rat. The worm snake only received a 1.

After dinner she grabbed her chalk and headed outside. It was getting dark so I had her stay up in the carport. She made hopscotch squares and played hopscotch for a while than came in for a jacket. After about 10 more minutes outside she decided it was time to come in for the night.

She has had lots of problems with anxiety. Sever enough that we have an appointment with a specialist Monday. However, I have seen a big reduction of hyperness and anxiety symptoms in the past few days. I feel a lot of this is because she isnt having to "hold it together " for 7 hours at school.

Just a quick test post.