You know, I just want the Lord to meet the deepest darkest needs of my heart.

Do I read my Bible enough-no.  Do I pray enough?  Well I do not pray constantly but I am often praying, and speaking my heart to the Lord.

So I am faced with the question, "When is it time to get help?"  When do you get to the point where it's okay to get someone else's opinion on your problems? 

I have a few friends who have encouraged me to seek medical help.  I am mixed about it.  I do not just want to run away from things, but if there truly is something wrong with me then what is wrong with finding out and seeking help?

There are so many thing holding me back.  I  asked my friend tonight, "What if I go get help and find out, well there really is not a thing wrong with my brain, and I really am as bad as it seems?"

Sounds silly to some maybe, but I know my faults, and maybe that is what got me into this cycle of  feelings, emotions, depression and anger. 

So when is it time to try something else?  If my sin is what got me here, shouldn't God be the only one who can truly get me out? 

I have poured my heart out to Him more times than I know.  I have felt Him work in my life, yet this whole depression thing seems to still hang over me.  It has not taken over my life, but I sure think it has hurt all of us!  I have not felt right for a long time-years.  But why?  Because of sin, or because of a medical issue I have not addressed.

I can hear it.  "Just go get a medical opinion and lay it to rest."  Maybe I should.  Maybe I will.  But I am still unsure of where the Lord is in all of this!  All I would like is to feel like a normal me-a productive mostly joyful me.  Is that possible to do without medical attention?  Questions, questions, questions.  Too many questions!  When is it time to get help?    

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Posted by CozyCorners

I have been feeling the same way lately. And it helped me a bit to hear from other ladies that they were or had felt the same way at some time. I will say an extra prayer for you and please know that you are not alone. I do hope that you are able to find the comfort that you are seeking.
~Brandi~

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Posted by ChathamMommy

Once again I started to leave a comment and it became a book. I went ahead and posted it on my blog:

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/ChathamMommy/193467/

I hope something there is helpful. I'll be praying for you, Beth.

Chelo

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Posted by MuckFootMom

in a not funny way
I had a very very similar discussion with a friend just yesterday. Different medical issue but surprisingly the same emotions/concerns that you expressed. When is it time to go see what a doc says? what if I spend all the emotional energy to do so and it turns out it's just ME, not some medical something. What if I just find out it's the way I am and there is no solution ...
:-/
Praying that God makes clear to you, one way or another -- that if He desires you to pursue the medical diagnosis/treatment he brings it up at every turn and you have no peace until you pursue it. BUT that if it would be a wrong rabbit trail, that He would give you peace to NOT pursue it, and that He would show you what direction He would rather have you go.

Hope that makes sense!

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Posted by ADDMama

Dear Beth,
How my heart aches for you! It is *such* a personal decision, but may I direct you to a few links I have found so very helpful?

Article: http://www.christianadhd.com/heartproblem.php

Here's just one quote about when to "get help":

"Find help if you are not doing well. If you are struggling with depression or anxiety, get help. If your spouse is at the end of his/her rope because you are driving them crazy, get help. Do not make excuses or live in denial. And do let your spouse know that you are taking responsibility for your challenges. You might have to do some serious apologizing if you have been a thorn in the side of others over the years. Humble yourself, reach out to others for help. Ask your pastor to hold you accountable to deal with your challenges. Begin seeing a psychologist (Christian, preferably) to help you work through the world of ADHD, depression or anxiety. Hire an ADHD coach if you can afford it. And be sure to join one of our email lists if you need support from others who face similar challenges. Do something."

The Comfort Cafe (comfortcafe.net) has so many Godly women writing there.
This article is by Vicki Gaines...if you are only going to read ONE article, please make it this one: Depression: Cry of the Soul

http://comfortcafe.net/?cat=38&paged=2

And on the flip side, Vicki Gaines also wrote: When Therapy Interferes With Healing:

http://comfortcafe.net/?page_id=335

Beth, please don't be a stranger by e-mail. Whenever you need an ear, a prayer - anything! - please drop me a line! I have been there, done that - many times, and it is my privilege to bow the knee on your behalf and to carry your burden before the Lord!

In Christ alone,
Kari

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Posted by ChathamMommy

Beth, you said you had trouble focusing. Have you tried journaling and making lists? Start small. Tonight before you go to bed, pray, but in a journal. Write it down. It doesn't have to be long-- a sentence, a paragraph. Then take a sheet of paper and make a list of what you MUST do the next day. Not what you should do (clean the house, go to the store, get exercise). What you MUST. Get up. Feed self and kids. Dress kids. Play with kids-- or watch them play. Those are musts. Check them off the next day and the sheer sense of accomplishment will help. Repeat the next night. Do that for one week and see if it helps you stay focused. Then add one "I'd like to get done" item to the list each day. Just one. If you don't get to it, it's not a must, so you can relax. See if that helps.

Still praying for you.

Chelo

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Posted by Anonymous

Beth,

My heart broke as I read your post. I've been where you are, and I understand the depth of your pain. You say, "So I am faced with the question, "When is it time to get help?" When do you get to the point where it's okay to get someone else's opinion on your problems?"

May I share some of my story with you, Beth? About 20 years ago, I experienced several emotional and physical losses in my life--things that people deal with every day. Grateful for friendships at my church, I plodding along, holding my feelings and fears inside. While others seemed to deal with their challenges, I felt like I was sinking. Was something wrong with me for feeling so sad all the time? Why did I have such a hard time functioning--doing normal things, like taking my son to soccer practice or picking up a few groceries from the store?

I wondered if sin had causes my problems? Sure, I had struggled with sin. Who doesn't?

Still, I waited, unsure if it was "right" to share with friends or to seek out Christian counseling. If it was sin, wasn't it enough to deal with it--just me and God? Why did I need help?

As a Christian writer, I've written on the topic of depression and when to seek help. May I share portions of an interview I did with a wonderful Christian woman who is a Licensed Professional Counselor:

Here a few of the questions and answers from my interview notes. Perhaps her responses might help:

Q. It surprises many that Christians get depressed. Why do Christians get depressed? Shouldn't their faith help them overcome it?

A. Sadness is a normal human emotion, and even Jesus experienced it in the garden of Gethsemane as outlined in Matthew 26:36-39 when he was “sorrowful” and “troubled”. Many other godly men in the Bible also experienced this type of deep sadness, including David, Job, Moses, and Jeremiah. Jesus told us in John 16:33 that “in this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” Christians will feel sad at times, and our faith can help us in overcoming this sadness. But wise counsel may be necessary in cases of clinical depression...

Just as our bodies get infections, diseases, and injuries, so our minds and souls can be injured or diseased. Seeking counseling for mental illness is just as wise as seeking professional help for physical illness. Faith can aid the healing process, but wise counsel can help the depressed believer through difficult and stressful situations.

Q. What would you like the Body of Christ to know about the role counseling plays in the life of a believer?

Counseling can teach the believer coping skills, tools and strategies for dealing with problems, and how to process emotions in a healthy way. Our behavior is influenced by our thoughts and feelings. Counseling can help the believer identify negative thinking patterns and replace them with the truth of God’s word. Phillippians 4:8 reminds us to think on things that are pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy."

Beth, I struggled with depression for many, many years. I eventually went to a wonderful Christian counselor. In retrospect, I wish I had gone sooner. I needed someone to help me sort out some deep hurts in my life and help me walk through areas I struggled with like anger, unforgiveness, resentment, and even some self-hatred and false guilt. The counselor helped me apply biblical truth to areas of my thought life and to work through many negative emotions I held in.

If you're asking, "When is it time to seek help?" If you're asking that question, it may be an indication that it is time to seek help.

God designed us to function as part of a godly community, where we pour out of our lives into the lives of others and they, likewise, pour into our lives. Sometimes, we need others to be an expression of Christ's love and truth in our lives.

I am praying for you, Beth. Please send me an email if you'd like to talk more at mary@maryyerkes.com.

In Christ Alone,
Mary Yerkes

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Posted by ChildsGeography

this prayer,
"Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I." ~Isa 58:9

Rest in your Helper.
Blessings,
Ann

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Posted by Grafted Branch @ http://restoringtheyears.blogspot.com

First off, I am just a homeschooling housewife. Not a doctor. Not a seminary-trained counselor.

But two things stood out to me in this post (and I haven't yet read more of your blog). One was the very first thing you said...do you read your bible enough -- no. That is a often-overlooked, can't-be-overstated starting point. There are so many subtle devices that the Enemy uses to control our thinking in this day that we must SATURATE ourselves in His Word. And we can't horde it from one day to the next. It didn't work that way for gathering the manna, and since Jesus makes the corrolation between the manna and the Word when being tempted in the wilderness, we can conclude that He wants us washing our thoughts in His living, breathing Word everyday. (Read, listen, meditate, recite -- whatever you have available to you.) There is always new breath available in His Word -- even if one thinks that she's read that passage before.

The second thing that jumped out at me was when you asked if it was sin or sickness. I think it's helpful to remember that sickness is in the world BECAUSE of sin. While every sickness may not be judgment of a specific sin, generally speaking one caused the other way back in the day, you know?

I firmly believe that healers (doctors) and knowledge (technology) is a mercy by the grace of God. When we turn to them for help is the question, right? I think if you're asking the question, it might be time. The very best judge of this is your God-given authority -- your husband. That's our privilege as wives -- to be sheltered, protected and provided for through our submission to the head of our house. Submit unto him as unto the Lord. What does he say?

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Posted by Vicki

Dear Beth,

Please know that I hear your heart's cry, but more importantly, God hears you. I'm praying fervently for you, that our Lord will lead you to the right kind of help.

I'm acquainted firsthand with dark, clinical depression/anxiety, but even so, without knowing your particular situation, I'm hesitant to advise. I do feel if you've gone for years like this, it's time to reach out. God is able to restore your joy, and there is *always* hope, no matter how you feel. Sometimes it takes a combination of things to restore balance to our spirit, mind, and emotions. A antidepressant can certainly help neurotransmitters to function better, and that alone made an amazing difference in my quality of life. If the brain isn't well, our emotions and view on life is negative and skewed; we have fatigue, insomnia, irritability, difficulty making decisions, isolate, feel anxious--and basically drive folks nuts around us:-.

But with any struggle, it's often helpful to have a counselor who personally trusts Christ as his own Life and Source (and not psychology) to help us sort through faith issues or personal struggles. If you've struggled this long, you probably have something that needs resolution. But only Jesus can meet our deepest needs--that much I know and continue to learn. Praying that He will reach down into the darkest corners of your heart and bring that healing and restoration that you and I both will continue to need.

I used to beat myself up for not being able to read my Bible more when I was especially depressed. Others beat me up too (they didn't know better). After trying some medication, I was amazed at the energy and concentration that was restored to my poor brain. Only then could I focus and comprehend. God understands these things. Other times, sin, unforgiveness, or unresolved emotional issues contributed to my depression. Yet again, spiritual strongholds had to be broken. With so many variables, how can any of us know what a person truly needs? It takes God, first of all.

In living with a chemical imbalance, though, I've learned over the years to recognize the signs before I get incapacitated. The answers aren't always clear-cut at first, Beth, that's why we pray for His guidance. For me, medication, good spiritual counseling that helped me renew my mind with truth, and emotional support helped tremendously. I needed the WHOLE NINE YARDS:-) But my depressions have often led to much spiritual growth in the Lord....eventually. And even though I couldn't always read or pray clearly during a 'down' time, the Holy Spirit would bring certain scriptures to mind. I was also blessed to have others lift me up in prayer when I couldn't articulate my own needs.

The Lord knows exactly where you are and exactly what you need. Sometimes it's a spiritual AND physical thing. God will see you through, dear sister.

Please email me if I can support you in any way, and do count on me for prayer. I care for you.

In Christ's healing grace,
Vicki

nursewriter@gmail.com

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Posted by heldinhisarmsoflove24

Yes, I am new here! Thank you for adding me!

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