composed by my very clever and understanding husband as we sorted post-vacation laundry

Laundry, laundry, so much laundry -

This is my eternal quandary.

Some's been worn and some has not

(My children do forget a lot).

Down to wash and up to fold:

So does my whole life unfold.

Wash it now and wash it later.

I am the laundry elevator.

My son is driving me crazy.

"There's nothing to eeeeaat," he whines. "Nothing good, anyway."

I have just returned from a third-world country where children are quite literally starving to death. Malnourished babies aren't getting their prescribed nutritional supplement because they have to compete with other family members for it (and a baby can't stand up and say, "That's my mamba! You can't eat it!") People of all ages live on a staple diet of rice and beans and maybe some goat or chicken day after day after day.

And my son stands in front of a pantry and refrigerator fully stocked with a variety of nutritious food (some of which he begged me to buy for him) and complains about his choices.

I can't get that kid to Haiti fast enough.

I thought I'd pass on a few updates to some things going on in my life & family:

* Mom called yesterday. Because her lungs are still healing from the radiation treatments, her pulmonologist said it would be ill-advised for her to take a trip to our altitude. We're kind of bummed that she & Dad won't be able to make it for our daughter's music program graduation next week. And I'm praying hard for a full recovery so she will be able to visit us in the future. She loves our mountains!

* Speaking of music, yes, my daughter is finishing a 3 1/2 year program through Children's Music Academy. In that time, she has learned to play piano (very well, actually), read music, and understand basic music theory. The program has also provided fabulous ear training as well as instruction in singing, guitar and recorder. I am so proud of all the work she has done and especially that she has learned a very challenging piece of music (Hayden's "A Minuet Trio") all on her own.

* What a difference a diet change can make! My husband AND daughter are both living a dairy-free lifestyle, and both have seen significant improvements in their allergy-related asthma. My daughter had been coughing all the time for over a month, and now her cough has completely cleared up. But even better, I have noticed a huge change in her attitude. She has always had a "budding control freak" streak, and I have had to push hard for respectful speech and behavior from her. In the last 2 weeks, she is almost a different person. The sweet side of her personality has come out, and she tells me she feels much more rested all the time. My hubby has also found that eliminating all forms of dairy from his diet has significantly improved his digestion. So our family life is really improving - even if I have to change some of the ingredients I cook with and we have to be super careful about eating out.

* I leave for Haiti in a little over a week. Hard to imagine! God has already poured out His blessings on our trip preparations and provided abundantly for the financial needs. I'm really excited about the team who is going as well as the people standing behind us and praying for us. I will try to post some specific prayer requests before we leave.

My husband had a philosophy of life: "You can never have too much cheese."

Now it seems he needs to change that to "Any cheese is too much cheese." After struggling with serious bouts of asthma and arthritis this spring, he decided to try some diet changes and see if they made a difference with how he felt. For the last week he decided to eliminate dairy products from his diet.

We were both surprised to see how quickly his asthma cleared up. He is still doing some research on connections between dairy allergies and asthma - and he'll ask about further testing for the dairy allergy when he goes for an allergy shot tomorrow. If it turns out that he does need to go permanently dairy free (DF), then we're already making some changes. It's not too hard to cook DF meals for dinner - I don't do many casseroles, and I can leave out cheese or have it on the side. But breakfasts are a challenge for a guy who has always loved his bowl of cereal every morning!

In the meantime, he has decided on a new philosophy of life: "You can never have too many hugs!"

As we bring this school year to a close (only 13 days to go!), I'm starting to evaluate and pray about changes to make for next year. I know, I know, I'm a little late to this - most of you probably already had next year planned by mid-March!

One thing that I've realized is that as much as I enjoy having my kids at home with me and building our relationships with each other, all that time at home isn't really productive. My son gets bored and just wants to watch TV. And, to be honest, I'm not entirely cut out emotionally for 24/7 with the kids. When I get stressed and overwhelmed, I don't model the best attitude. A friend recently commented to me that she is building better relationships with her kids since putting them back in school because she is more emotionally able to handle the time with them. I understand what she's saying, but I'm not led to put my kids in school. (I recently joked with friends that God roped me into homeschooling, and He won't let me out of it.) There has to be a middle ground - one that allows me to keep my sanity and give them some productive activity without me feeling like I'm punishing my kids for the 3 of us not being perfect. Some of my friends accomplish this by putting their kids in a one-day-a-week school program, but when I had my kids in that program, it was just a huge stress on all of us. My son in particular finds the long day to be too much and utterly exhausting. And I was running around every morning getting lunches and backpacks put together, rushing my daughter out of bed, and then pushing everyone through breakfast so we could get out on time. So for now, I don't think that's a good option for us.

I'm praying about other options that might reduce our day-to-day stress. I thought about a 4-day school week, but that could drag our school year out a lot longer than I'm willing to do - and then we also have one full day of "what to do," so it wouldn't solve the boredom issue. I may look into enrolling them in one or two classes at a local homeschool-support program. Or I may look into the Christian school where my son attended Kindergarten - at the time, they were very supportive of homeschoolers and open to having kids attend one or two classes instead of a full day.

When I step back, I really do feel blessed to have my children at home with me. But I want to do what's best for all of us. So I'm thinking and praying about the next year and what changes, if any, I need to make.

This is what happened when I let my daughter borrow a couple of latex gloves the other day:

This week is shaping up to be a difficult one to get schoolwork done. We have 2 days when we'll have to take off: one day (praying it isn't more) when I have Jury Duty and one day is my son's birthday. As I sat down to teach this morning, I had to re-organize our 5 days of schoolwork in the curriculum to fit into 3. There are pencilled-in arrows all over our Bible and Geography lesson plans! But we should get it all in, even if some of our Bible gets pushed into next week.

However, I'm glad these things fall in this week and not last. Last week I was making triple-chocolate mousses and dinner rolls for our church's annual Valentine's dinner. It's actually a very special couples dinner - a cozy, restaurant-style dinner for two. My husband and I chose to help serve the meal this year and found that encouraging others' romance was good for ours. We had taken the kids out for dinner on Friday night and then stayed up late by ourselves watching the movie I.Q. - a sweet movie about romance and physics. Many things over the weekend gave me a renewed appreciation for my wonderful husband. I thank God for him daily!

Last Wednesday evening, my family drove me to the airport where I got on a plane (all by myself!) and flew to Oklahoma to visit my parents. Mom has told me that her radiation treatments have really sapped her energy, so imagine my surprise when I saw her with Dad to meet me at the airport for my 10:00 pm arrival!

I was able to take Mom for her final radiation treatment on Thursday and the last (for a while) chemotherapy treatment on Friday. We celebrated the end of radiation with some "retail therapy" together, and I was able to help out with some things around the house. The three of us had a wonderful time together - and being just the three of us has been rare since I was 2 years old!

We won't know any results of mom's treatments until after her next CAT scan on Monday. She meets with her oncologist again in about 3 weeks, and he wants to do 2 high-dose chemotherapy cycles to make sure all the cancer cells in her body are dead and gone. But it does seem likely at this point that her treatments have been very successful, and she'll be simply watching and managing the cancer after this Spring.

I can't begin to say how much my whole family has appreciated prayers for mom from around the country - around the world, really. God is good, regardless of the final outcome. And He is good to hear and answer our prayers.

I had a great time with my parents (just me and them - what a nice treat) last weekend. Mom was feeling a bit better than she has in a long time, and I just got this email from her a minute ago. We really appreciate everyone who has been praying - whether once or ongoing. God hears us!

After a not so peaceful week before Christmas that some of you know about (& wonderful gift of getting to go home from the hosp on Christmas Day) we finally have a bit of good news. 

We saw the oncologist today & I was able to tell him that I thought I was breathing a bit easier for the last couple of days. When he listened to my chest he smiled & was able to hear air moving - breath sounds. John & I were so happy. I even asked if he was sure. He was. He asked what I'd been doing differently & the only thing I could report was "a LOT of prayer". He said "prayer works." LOVE IT! 

Later the radiologist agreed that, now 1/3 way through the radiation, he's glad to hear I'm doing better & breathing easier can mean only that we're making progress. 

YIPPEE! I'll take any improvement no matter how small.

I'm finding that a tough question to answer. In one sense, she's awful - she has cancer, after all!

But when friends ask me how my mom is doing, I know they ask out of concern and because they have been praying for her. So the answer, I guess, is she's doing pretty well, all things considered. Her attitude and spirit are good. Her faith is strong. And she's back to her regular treatment schedule. Radiation treatments are physically draining, so she doesn't have much energy most of the time. She is looking forward to all of this being over and hoping and praying that after she finishes radiation treatments that the increased dose of chemotherapy won't be necessary.

As for me, I'm happy to be spending this weekend with my parents - to help lift a little of the burden of extra work from Dad and to just hang out with them. I often wish I lived closer and could help out more often, but that's not possible now. So I choose to be content with doing what I can, and I'm very thankful for Mom & Dad's wonderful friends and the support they have given.

And together we wait for the end of this stage of our lives.

I have been friends with Valerie for over a year - maybe close to two years now. One of the things I have loved about blogging is that I can be part of a community of like-minded homeschooling moms. But it's a very different world than I used to know where you can be friends with people you have never met in person.

Well, on Monday, I got to meet Valerie, and it was so cool! She and her family are spending Christmas with family who live about a half-hour from me. We emailed each other and arranged to meet at a rec center in between to take the kids swimming for a while. And, just as we expected, the kids all got along wonderfully with each other. Everyone had a blast, and Valerie and I had a chance to talk for a nice long time and sort of solidify our friendship. After all, there's only so much you can communicate through blog posts and comments! But the Lord had already knit our hearts together, and I hope we can find opportunities to get our familie together again in the future!

Here's a picture of us with a disclaimer: I forgot to get the camera out BEFORE we went swimming and I got my head soaked!

We had made plans to go visit my parents the week after Christmas. My brother and his wife had planned to leave their kids with grandma & grandpa while they took a trip with friends.

Now we're all wondering if we need to rethink our plans.

Over the weekend, mom started to feel very short of breath. She went in to the hospital on Sunday morning with fluid in her lungs and had surgery yesterday to drain the fluid and put in a temporary tube to continue draining. We had been told yesterday afternoon that the doc removed 1800 ccs of fluid. We were thankful that the surgery was successful and were praying Mom could be home before Christmas.

But everything is up in the air now. This afternoon when my dad called and gave us an update from the doctor. They had actually drained close to 3 liters of fluid from Mom's lungs, and in the last 24 hours another liter has drained out. Also, one of her lungs has not reinflated after surgery. So they're making plans to spend Christmas in the hospital. And we may not be able to visit once she comes home (hopefully Saturday), especially if anyone in my family has a cold.

So we're being flexible. And praying and praying. And again, I sooo appreciate everyone who has been praying for my mom and my family. I'll keep you posted.

... when you have a child who tends to be grumpy about taking the family Christmas picture:

Last year we had a fairly difficult time trying to get a good picture. Even when we got one with everyone smiling, my son was only smiling because he was goofing off and cracking his knuckles.

This year, I had a flash of insight at just the right moment. My son loves using my digital camera and taking pictures - so I put HIM in charge of setting up and taking the picture. Yes, we had a few mess-ups at first (like one where the kids were pointing at the camera trying to get the dog facing that direction). And we had the inevitable one with the self-timer not set (so his backside took up the whole picture). But in the end, we have a picture of a happy family!

When we went to visit my mom before Thanksgiving, she looked at me and said, "I know what's going on. You and your sister and brother have all conspired together, and you're not going to let me be alone during my treatments. This is payback for me and your father going to every baseball game and drill team performance and dance recital and football game, isn't it?"

Well, in a sense, yes. My family was always about support and togetherness, and it breaks my heart to know that we're all so spread around the country that it takes any of us at least a half-day (if not a full day) of travel to get to Mom & Dad's house now. And none of us want Mom to have to face cancer alone. Yes, Dad is still there, so technically she's not alone most of the time, although he has had to travel for work a couple of times lately. She began daily radiation treatment this week, and she'll have weekly chemo treatments while undergoing radiation. We pray that the malignancy responds to the radiation quickly! Right now all I want to do is go hang out at their house, buy their groceries, cook and clean for them so Mom can rest and Dad can do what he needs to do. But God has me in a different place, so I had to come home to do all that for my family.

Still, I'm grateful for the example my parents set for me - family is about relationships, about being together and supporting one another. It has certainly carried through to my home today. We love being together. Yes, my son whines about going to his sister's dance and piano recitals - and she doesn't much enjoy watching baseball games. But they're learning how to encourage and support each other.

You've heard the saying, "Be nice to your children - one day they'll choose your nursing home." I'm finding truth in a twist on that saying: "Build good relationships with your children - one day they may be supporting you through a serious illness, and you'll want them there."

I told my hubby the other day that I think I want to switch jobs with Barack Obama.

We're looking into refinancing our house to get a low enough payment that we might be able to replace my car. With all the driving back and forth to Oklahoma I expect in the next year to help my parents, I'd like a reliable car with significantly less than 137,000 miles on it. But part of the refi process is having a complete inside & outside appraisal. If we're to make the value of the house we need, the house needs to be perfect. Right now it's a cluttered mess. So I need to motivate my kids to help me get this house from cluttered disaster zone to immaculate in less than a week.

I think I'd rather straighten out the economic mess.

Consider this:

• Americans spend about $450 billion a year on Christmas, including gifts, food, & decorations.
• $10 billion would provide fresh water for every person in the world.

According to the website charity : water, "Unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of all sickness and disease, and kill more people every year than all forms of violence, including war."

Only $20 will provide fresh water for one person for 20 years. Why not consider dropping an item off your wish list, scaling back on a meal or not buying some of the new decorations this year and instead donate $20 to help build deep wells for fresh, clean water for African communities?

Watch the video at charity : water. Imagine being a mother who can only give your children filthy water to drink and bathe in. It's heartbreaking. I'd rather help one of those mothers than get an extra thing in my stocking.

The catchphrase for this year is "I want water for Christmas."

My hubby is the numbers guy. He lives with numbers day after day - as an optical engineer, he uses calculus in his job all the time. So, as you would expect, he loves the Sudoku puzzles in the newspaper (when he has the time).

I'm the words girl. I write, I blog, I teach ... so, of course, I love crossword puzzles. I really enjoy the New York Times puzzle, even though it can sometimes take me all week to get through the Sunday puzzle. Sudoku? No, it just frustrates me. When I make one mistake, I practically have to start the whole thing over to find out where I went wrong.

It's funny, though, that today he stayed home sick, and instead of picking up a book to read, he picked up the last couple days' papers and has been doing the crossword puzzles. But it has been fun for me to help him. Numbers guys don't always get the nuances of meanings in the crossword clues.

What about you - words or numbers?

My mother called me this morning to say, "I'm calling to ruin your day. It's cancer."

Funny how one phrase can change your life.

It's cancer.

It's hard to say out loud, "My mom has lung cancer." Lung cancer happens to people who smoke 3 packs a day, not to 65-year-old otherwise healthy grandmothers. Sure, she has had problems with pneumonia over the last several years, but pneumonia doesn't cause cancer.

So what's next? I don't know. But I do know that my mom and my family aren't alone in this. Last week my kids had a Steven Curtis Chapman CD playing, and the song "Miracle of the Moment" really blessed me in the waiting:

There's only One who knows

What's really out there waiting

And all the moments yet to be.

And all we need to know

Is He's out there waiting

To Him, the future is history.

And He has given us a treasure called "right now."

This is the only moment we can do anything about.

Even though we don't know what's next, Jesus does. My mother's future and my choices about what may need to change in my life as a result are all in His hands. It gives me so much peace to know that the One who is in control of all this is not just any God but a loving God who sacrificed His life for us. And that He knows the pain we are going through.

For now, we pray for healing, we experience peace, and we trust in the God we know is good.

One moment at a time.

I was just reading this entry on Heather's blog about political mud-slinging television advertising. She lives in Canada, so I'm sure they don't have all the same laws governing political advertising that we have here in the States. Her blog got me thinking off on a tangent about the different types of ads we have here - those from miscellaneous organizations that may support or oppose a particular candidate (or their position on one issue), and those from the politicians themselves. Of course, we can distinguish the ones from the candidates by the tagline, "I'm [fill in name here], and I approve this message."

After the Olympics in August, my kids had seen enough of these commercials that my son started going around randomly saying, "I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message." Which was funny enough by itself, but then he started getting responses from the rest of us, such as:

Dad: "You're not Barack Obama. I'm Barack Obama."

Sister: "I'm John McCain, and I approve this message."

Son: "I'm John McCain, then!"

Dad: "No, she's John McCain. You're Hillary Clinton."

And then I started giving the children instructions such as, "Pick up all the toys in this room and put them away. I'm your mother, and I approve this message."

Hey, if we can't stop the nonsense on TV, at least we can have some fun with it!

Or Addy, as we call her for short. This darling new addition to our family - as well as the fact that I couldn't get my laptop to cooperate and upload photos to photobucket for the last 2 days - is the reason I didn't get back on the blog right at the beginning of September as planned.

She is a handful! The breeder we bought her from (highly recommended, by the way, www.conniescuddlypups.com, the kind of dog breeder who gives breeders a good name) found that this little puppy was getting into things that no other puppy ever has. Her curiosity keeps us on our toes. She has three "modes," so to speak. There's hyper-playful, relaxed chewing time (plus something in the middle of those two when we call her "Addigator"), and asleep.

Homeschooling has changed a bit, too. The kids and I play with her for a couple of hours in the morning and then hurry off to do schoolwork when she tuckers out and goes to sleep for an hour or two, then repeat when she wakes up. It's a new rhythm to life, but this sweet, velvety soft, cuddly bundle of loving energy is just what we need right now.

I'd write more, but Adeliza has just come in from relieving herself one last time this evening and is ready for me to settle her in for bed - and I'm about done for the day, too. Goodnight!