Wednesday, May 28, 2008 - On the Road Again
I mentioned that I was gone a couple weekends ago, and now I will be spending yet another weekend out of town. Tomorrow I am off to Maryland with some ladies from church; we are going to a women's retreat at a sister church there. Our pastor's wife is speaking at the retreat and thought it would be nice to take a group along.
When this was announced, I surmised correctly that probably all the others who'd go would be in the 50-something age range, since the 30- & 40-something women at my church don't tend to do those things. Too busy with jobs and/or kids, I think. I probably wouldn't have given it too much thought, but my mom (who was visiting our church that day) offered to take the kids if I wanted to go. I decided I would, basically "because I can". The kids are taken care of, Huz doesn't mind me leaving, my schedule is flexible, and I am always up for an "adventure". So why not?
Why not, indeed. Because I am the youngest person on this trip by at least a decade, that's why! In fact, I think I'm the only one with kids still at home, and maybe even the only one w/o grandkids! What's more, the other women are all seasoned, mature "women of God", "pillars of the church" type people... and then there's lil old not-so-spiritually-mature, 42-year-old-Mommy me tagging along. One of the other ladies who is going is a good friend, and I get along quite well with several of the others, but I am still feeling like I don't "fit in". I hate not fitting in. Not that I think any of them mind that I am going; in fact, some of them are rather happy about it. But I can just imagine others thinking, Why is she going? --although chances are that noone is actually thinking that. I still feel more than a bit awkward. I just about backed out at the last minute yesterday, but then my pastor called. He had no idea that I was considering not going, but had called nonetheless to encourage me in my plans to do so. (That's the simple version of a slightly more complicated story.) I decided maybe God wanted me to go after all, so I am. But I am still feeling anxious about the whole thing.
So that was a very long answer to a short question that none of you asked anyway. But trust me, it's not as long as it could have been!
We leave at noon tomorrow and will be back late Sunday night. We'll have some free time Saturday, and I am hoping that someone will be interested in going to Antietam Battlefield with me- it is very close to where we'll be.
Well, here's hoping and praying that I will have a good time and enjoy the fellowship without feeling awkward, and that I will be glad I went. And that tomorrow night, I will be too busy having fun and fitting in with the other ladies to even care whether or not the hotel has wireless internet service!
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Don't worry about not fitting in... y'all are all sisters in Christ, right? And even if you don't get much out of it (although I think you will), you never know what kind of encouragement you might be to the others. Don't expect perfection out of everyone else though... you might be surprised how age does not necessarily determine how "spiritual" or wise or mature a christian is. And may we never expect ourselves to be done with growing in Christ!
Safe travels, my friend!