On my next birthday, I will turn 44. However, on my last birthday, I only turned 42.
I just thought I would share that, for whatever it’s worth to you.
Here is the next thing I want to share with you:
Five Signs that your Brain Cells are getting Old and Tired, based on recent personal experiences of the author. (Me.)
(1) You are on your way to your vehicle with an armload of purchases. About fifteen feet from said vehicle, you get out your nifty little remote and, as is your usual practice, click the unlock button twice in order to, well, unlock your vehicle. Just as you always do. Mere seconds later, upon your arrival at your vehicle, you notice that the doors are unlocked, and you say, “Oh! I forgot to lock my van!”
Duh.
(2)Your daughter’s English teacher tells you that the class will be watching Dead Poet’s Society in a few weeks. You mention that you are jealous of your daughter because you and she had both wanted to watch that movie, and now she will get to see it without you. Your daughter’s teacher is a little confused and says, “Cheez says she has already seen it, and I thought she said she watched it with you.” You assure her that that was not the case, and add, “I wonder when she saw it, and with whom?” Later you pose the same question to your daughter. She looks at you incredulously and says, “Mom! We watched it together last year.” After arguing with her over this for a minute, you suddenly have the vaguest of recollections and realize that she is right.
Duh again.
(3)Your husband asks whether anyone has brought in the mail or newspaper. You tell him you haven’t, and everyone else says the same. Hubby wonders why we have yet to receive no mail or newspaper even though it is now 6 pm. He asks whether everyone is certain. “Of course I’m certain,” you say. “Don’t you think I would remember bringing in the mail and newspaper?” A discussion ensues over whether perhaps the Monday after Flag Day is a postal holiday. Hubby remarks that that would not explain why there is no newspaper in the box. The words in the box trigger a picture in your mind, and you suddenly remember that when you pulled in the driveway after an errand that afternoon, you saw the newspaper on the ground next to the box and stopped to pick it up. After sheepishly admitting as much, you go to get it out of your tote bag. Upon seeing mail in there as well, you remember that after you picked up the paper, you got the mail out of the box.
(4)You head-blog a post entitled, “Five Signs That Your Brain Cells Might Be Getting Old and Tired,” using five little anecdotes from your own recent experience. Twelve days later, you go to write out the post and realize that you only remember three of them.
No, really. This is true. I promise.
Oh, I do have another. This happened over a year ago, but it works.
(5) You walk into the laundry room and hear the washing machine going. All other laundry-doers in the household are gone. You wonder, “Who the heck is doing laundry?” You look in the washing machine and, upon recognizing the clothes within, realize that you are the one doing laundry.
The scariest part about all this is that none of these things happened (a) early in the morning before I’d had my coffee, or (b) late at night when I should have been in bed.
So…
Do I check myself into the Old Folks’ Home now? Or is there hope for me yet?
And…
If you still haven’t figured out the logic behind my first sentence, your brain cells might be getting old and tired, too.
The last thing I want to share with you is my favorite brain-cells-getting-old joke. Wish I could take credit for it, but it’s not original. Although I’ve told it so many times over the last 25 years that I sometimes forget that I didn’t make it up. Besides, it fits me to a T. Which is probably why I like it.
“Do you ever find yourself thinking about the hereafter?”
“Yep, all the time. I walk into the kitchen to get something, then I stop and say to myself, ‘Now, what was I here after?’”
Happy June 29.
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~C