I am taking Spaz & Fuzz to Chicago tomorrow. By myself.

No, I'm not crazy. Not crazy. Not crazy.

(Maybe if I repeat it often enough I'll actually believe it.)

I am, however, trying very hard not be a nervous wreck.

I tried to find someone to go with us. Really, I did. But considering that this whole thing came up only 6 days ago, I knew the odds weren't good. Several people "almost" said yes, then called back to say no. Apparently most people have a life and can't just drop everything to go to Chicago on a few days' notice.

I have a life, too. It's called homeschooling, and at least for the moment, it's the only life I have. And I'm definitely not adverse to blowing off "school" in favor of something more educational. So upon discovering that we could visit, free of charge, a reknowned institution that fits right in with a current area of interest and study, it only makes sense to go for it. Even if it's three hours away. Even if Free Admission month is almost over and we have less than a week to put the trip together. Even if Hubz all of a sudden actually has work and can't go with us.

Extravagant field trips are out of the question at the moment. But given the free admission factor, it's well worth spending Monet on Degas to make the Van Gogh, and it won't take Manet more dollars for commuter train fare and dinner. And so we're off to the Art Institute of Chicago to see the works of all the Impressionists we've been reading about. As a bonus, we get to hit Shedd Aquarium free of charge as well. Hard to pass that up.

If only we'd heard about it sooner, we could have made plans with friends. But if the kids and I have to make the trip ourselves, well, que Seurat Seurat.

At least that's what I tell myself. But I sure would feel more comfortable with another adult along.

My mom had said she'd go with us since I hadn't been able to find anyone else. Mom and I would be like the blind leading the blind, but at least she'd be good company. I felt okay with it. We looked forward to it. It was all set. Then she got sick. At five pm today, after I'd spent hours arranging the details of our trip, she called to say she wouldn't be able to make it.

I was determined to go anyway. Spaz wasn't so sure, and then was sure he didn't want to go, then made up his mind to be positive. But after a couple hours, I started to waver. Go without another adult? Am I nuts? The evening was full of indecision and trepidation. I doubted my decision. I cried. I almost backed out.

We aren't saving a lot with the free art museum admission, and we don't really need to go to Shedd. We don't have to go this week. We could give one of my enthusiastic friends time to rearrange her schedule and plan to go together in a few weeks.

But sometimes "in a few weeks" ends up not happening. Especially with me. And the kids' interest is now. I let so many opportunities slide by. This time I want to seize the day.

So seize the day we will, bright and early tomorrow morning.

I'm not crazy. This is a good thing. I can do this. It will be fun.