...I mean, while watching a multitude of commercials interspersed with occasional snippets of Olympic coverage.

I might have to stop saying that, because actually, the commercial-to-coverage ratio is a lot better this year than it has been in some previous years.

I was really good and did not watch any Olympics during my school planning weekend.  Because I knew that if I turned the TV on, I wouldn't get any planning done.  But I showed remarkable self-restraint, thankyouverymuch, and we won't talk about how many times I ventured into blogland when I was supposed to be planning.  I didn't watch Olympics and that's significant, and now I am indulging to make up for it.

I like the Olympics.  The Olympics are about the only thing I watch on TV besides American Idol.  I cannot fathom why we did not think about the Olympics when we scheduled a mini-vacation to a friend's TV-less cabin for later this week.  Usually I consider a TV-free vacation to be ideal.  Usually.  Almost always.  But not when Olympics are on.  I'm a little annoyed by the timing here.  Why have we never bought a DVR?

Anyway...

*Synchronized diving is just totally amazing.  How do they do that?

*Speedos are so ugly.

*(And no, potential burglars, don't even think about it.  The shop employee and the dog will bite you.)

*Is anyone besides me tired of hearing about Michael Phelps?

*So funny that the US diving coach is Chinese.  Of course, so is my sister-in-law.  (Yes, I know that was highly irrelevant.)

*I mentioned to Huz that I much prefer watching diving to watching swimming.  Not him, says he;  he likes the speed and excitement.  Not me, says I.  I like the artistry.  Although that does not explain why my favorite winter Olympics sport is... short-track.

*I wish NBC would not show raunchy and violent commercials during the Olympics.  It is unbelievable what comes across the airwaves even at 8:30 pm, when HELLO, children are watching!  Do they not care?

*Beach volleyball.  I remember watching Olympics beach volleyball for the first time back in 1988, when today's players were little kids and Karch Kiraly was on the sand instead of in the announcer's booth.  The Olympics were in Seoul and we were in our apartment in southeast Grand Rapids.  We didn't own a TV, so we borrowed a tiny little one from the in-laws and rigged up some aluminum foil as a makeshift antenna.  While we watched, little BizzyBiz toddled around practicing his own newfound Olympic skill of walking.  Memmm-reeees....

*The nice thing about winter Olympics is that the athletes wear more clothes.

*Oh, my.  The one-touch recovery commercial is hilarious.  "Sorry that you lost your files, hoo hah..."  HA, HA, HA!  Sorry.  I don't get out much.

*Award for stupidest commercial definitely goes to the McDonald's chicken sandwich ad.  I think the only thing that could make it stupider would be if all the pseudo-athletes were wearing speedos.

*I can't believe that Huz & the kids have decided to watch Anne of Green Gables on the other TV tonight when the Olympics are on.  Who introduced these people to great stories like Anne of Green Gables?  Me, that's who!  And now they want to watch the movie while I'm trying to watch Olympics?  (Yes, we've watched it before, several times.  But last time was about 5 years ago.)  All the stupid movies they like to watch, and they pick this one when Olympics are on?  I don't think it's fair to make me choose between Anne and Olympics.

*I can't believe what I just yelled up the stairs.  I have been banished to the downstairs TV, which is bigger and nicer, but it has this odd object called a cable box hooked to it and, um, I don't really know how to watch TV on this.  The upstairs TV is nice because it's old and the remote is long dead and to find the channel you want, you just stand in front of the TV and push the button until you get there.  Simple.  Anyway, what I yelled up the stairs was, "What channel is channel 8 down here?"

*See, I have been typing about Gables and Cables while Americans are winning gold medals in swimming.  Because it's not as fascinating as watching diving and gymnastics.  Although did you know that Michael Phelps trains in Ann Arbor, MI?  Oh, sorry, I forgot that I am tired of hearing about him.

*I'm sorry.  The butterfly stroke always looks so funny.

*Finally, more men's gymnastics.  I enjoy watching men's gymnastics so much more than women's.  Still rings routines are amazing.  Parallel bar routines are amazing.  High bar routines are amazing.  Those biceps are...  Sorry, I'm being redundant.

*Zou Kai, Chinese gymnast.  So cute-looking, in a little boy sort of way.  I can say that about a 20-year-old, because I have a little boy who's 21.

*I'm so glad gymnasts don't wear speedos.

*Anne Shirley may be charming, but she can't do a high-bar routine.  That's why I'm down here instead of upstairs.

*Ads for men's beach volleyball tomorrow.  See?  The men wear clothes.  Why do the women wear swimwear?

*Back to the men in tights.  Of course I'm rooting for the US team.  But it's kinda hard not to root for the Chinese, too.  Although it would really be nice to see some teams besides China, Japan, and the US.  I do understand that they can't show everyone and there is medal contention and all.

*Remember when men's gymnastics were dominated by Russia and Ukraine?  I haven't seen any Russian or Ukraine gymnasts tonight.

*I want to see that one-touch recovery commercial again.

*It's Monday, but the events I am watching right now are occuring on Tuesday.

*So these three guys doing the pommel horse are of Chinese, Indian (I think), and Russian descent.  And they're all Americans.  Gotta love it.

*Oh my.  The Artemov dude came through.  Yay for him.  Gotta love that, too.

*So his teammates call Zou Kai the "little kid", too.  It's not just me.  Oh, he's such a cute little guy.  How cool to be the last performer for Chinese gold.  I do hope they show the medal ceremony.  I like to hear anthems other than just ours.

*Actually, my favorite medal ceremonies of all are the ones in which an athlete from some small, underdog country wins a rare medal for his nation.  Those are really cool moments.  Maybe we'll see one of those this Olympics.

*It had better not happen while we are gone.  Why didn't I get Huz a Tivo for his birthday?

*Meteor shower.  There is supposed to be a meteor shower tonight?  Who scheduled that for Olympics week?

Edited Tuesday to add:  I  did not see any meteors, but I DID get to see one of those cool Olympic moments!  Although my intention is to only watch Olympics in the evening (otherwise I'd get nothing done), my son had them on for a short while early this afternoon.  I watched with him just long enough to see a guy from Togo win a bronze medal in whitewater kayaking-- which Spaz says is Togo's first Olympic medal ever.  Too cool!  The crowd was so pumped, and of course the Togoan (?) kayaker was, too.  I love seeing athletes so happy just to win a bronze.  They did not show the medal ceremony, but I hope they will show it tonight during prime time.  Or maybe I can find it online.  Later, of course.

I was just thinking today that if I ever wanted to change Spaz' blog name, I could change it to "Hungry".

As I contemplated what sort of coordinating names the rest of the family would then be given, my mind naturally went to those of the Seven Dwarves.  The only problem is that, with the possible exception of Cheez, who could accurately be named "Sleepy", the rest of us would all end up with the same name.

"Grumpy".

So I guess I guess I won't do that.

I changed my picture.  See it in the sidebar?  It's right there >>>>>>>>.

I like my hair better in this one, plus it shows my new Old People's Glasses.  (Which I recently acquired after 33 years of wearing Young People's Glasses.  Not that you can tell the dif from the picture.)  This pic, by the way, was taken in May at Antietam Battlefield.

However, Huz and SoyCheez like the old pic better.  You know, this one of me with my laptop:

Of course, I could always switch to the one that SoyCheez so kindly doctored for me a few months ago.  Remember this?

On second thought, I probably shouldn't use that one.  I might scare away potential new readers.  (Besides, as I noted in the original post in which that picture appeared, it is highly inaccurate, as I always remove my wings and horns before settling down in my comfy chair.  Without fail.)

Anyway, Huz & SoyCheez think the new pic makes me look too much like a Homeschool Mom.  Which, as a matter of fact, I am.  Although SoyCheez remarks that I am quite pretty for a Homeschool Mom.  I think that was a compliment, although not for most of you other Homeschool Moms out there.  Sorry.  She obviously hasn't looked at your pictures.  But I don't think she meant it that way.  In fact, a few weeks ago, she mentioned that I am prettier than most of her friends' moms.

I guess I'll keep her after all, despite the doctored photo.

Oops, getting sidetracked again.  So which pic do YOU like better?  The new one or the old one?  (Not the BatLady one.)

While you are contemplating that, surely you will also notice that I have changed the little description under the picture as well.  My love language is affirmation, so it is imperative that you remark on how clever I am.

I eagerly await your comments.

Those of you who suffered mental anguish as a result of my last post will feel smugly vindicated to learn that I have received my just and well-deserved reprimand-- and from my own computer, no less.

I was persuaded to go here to see what my actions had wrought.  And of course I could not resist clicking on the video.  (To get the full effect, you have to turn off the blog's default music player first.)  I had made it almost all the way through will no ill effects, when suddenly Josiah (my computer) proceeded to shut down on me.

I should note that this random computer shutdown stuff is actually a fairly common occurance, especially when I am on the internet.  And unless I am in the middle of posting on my blog or commenting on someone else's, no data is ever lost, so it is generally not a tragedy but simply a minor annoyance.  I have narrowed the reason for these shutdowns down to three possibilities:  (a) The Mac commercials  and all the naysayers are correct and Windows Vista really is an inferior product.  (b)  The computer encounters a virus which shuts it down (which would mean that my AVG Free Virus Protection is actually the inferior product).  Or (c) The computer senses an impending threat and shuts itself down in order to avoid serious damage (which would mean that both Vista and AVG are functioning quite well, thankyouverymuch).

Oh, I'm getting side-tracked here.  This post is not about computer shutdowns; it is about one specific computer shutdown, which is the one that occured the other day as I was viewing the aforementioned video.

I am convinced that the reason for this particular shutdown was none other than option (c): my faithful Josiah was attempting to protect himself (and me) from a perceived threat to his (and my) well-being.

After all, how much Shaun Cassidy is too much?  For most of us, about three seconds, but Josiah apparently has a high pain threshhold.  Even so, four minutes and 59 seconds was obviously the limit.  I am pretty sure that just before he shut down, I heard Josiah scream, "Aaagggghhhh!  I can't take it anymore!"

Or something like that.

Most of my computer time these days is spent on my duties as Unofficial Coordinator of the Fifth Sorta-Bi-Annual Floatwad Family Reunion, a weeklong out-of-state event which is coming up in just a couple weeks.  (Grandfather in heaven, forgive me for thusly corrupting the family name.  I don't like to use real surnames on my blog.)

The result of this is that, despite all my wonderful ideas for posts, I don't have really have time to write them.  So in leiu of a meaningful post, I give you this:

Today at the health food store, I was subjected to a most inhumane form of torture.  It had nothing to do with the food I had to buy or the money I had to spend, and everything to do with the music that was playing on the sound system.

When I walked in, they were playing "Come Sail Away".  Not a problem.  (In fact, my 9-year-old was singing parts of that song last night as I helped her clean her room, compliments no doubt of Daddy, who delights in exposing the kids to classic and not-so-classic rock and roll even as I endeavor to shelter them from it.)  No, that song was not the problem.  Styx I can handle.  It was what they were playing about 10 minutes later as I was crouching in Aisle 5 comparing prices on canned garbanzo beans.

Talk about nightmarishly idiotic cult songs from the junior high years.  I had hoped to never have to hear this song again.  But thirty-odd years later, there it was.

And here it still is, running through my brain.  And now, because I am feeling mean and rotten and mischievious, I am going to make sure it runs through yours.  My friend CelticMom was so very appreciative of my reference last week to the Tab Cola commercials and the ensuing residency of the lyrics in her brain for the day, that I am certain she and all the rest of you will appreciate this reference as well.  Especially if you are female and somewhere in your early-to-mid 40's.

Yeah, my heart stood still
Yeah, her name was Jill
Yeah, I love her still
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron

(Oh my, it's Shau-wun Cass-a-deeee!  Can anybody say, "Like, gag me with a spoon"?)

Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron...

Bwa-ha-ha-ha!  You can't escape it!  It will loop endlessly through your brain all the day long!  Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

You're very welcome.

Now send me chocolate, or my next post will contain Andy Gibb lyrics.

Well, gosh.  I did not get many Happy Birthday comments on yesterday's post.  Either my readership is way down (and way down from three doesn't leave many), or all of you have old and tired brain cells like mine.

Like, hello.  "On my next birthday I will be 44 and on my last birthday I was only 42."  That can only mean one thing.

*Sigh*

Maybe the secret to getting birthday wishes on one's blog is to throw a Bloggy Birthday Bash and give away stuff.  Some of my friends have done that, and I even won something.  So let's see, what could I have given away?...

I know!  Old, tired brain cells!  Or...  The remote door unlocker to my van.  A Dead Poet's Society DVD.  All the mail in my tote bag, except checks.  A spiral notebook for scribbling out head-blogs.  My laundry.

Um, OK, I'll keep working on it.  Maybe next year.

In the meantime, I'll just have a Bloggy Birthday Pity Party.

I'm going to go pout now.

Wait- drat.  Is 43 too old to pout?

OK, revision.  I'm going to go eat chocolate now.

I'm liking this party.

And in case you're wondering, my two youngest kids got me candy and slippers, and my mom & dad got me flowers for my garden and a Hobby Lobby gift card, and I get more presents on Wednesday for my second party when The Eldest Offspring joins us.  Huz grilled burgers, and my mom brought pie.  I chose not to have a deliciously yummy chocolatey dessert because my poor Second Eldest can't have any sugar all summer and I didn't want to make her suffer any further.  Although I did make her do the dishes.

Tonight at dinner, I said to Huz, "Hey, we gain an hour tonight."  He gave me an odd look and said, "How so?"  To which I replied, "American Idol isn't on anymore."

To aid in my withdrawal, I have made a temporary addition to my sidebar.  I found something that just  happens to tie in with parenting (and even homeschooling, if you want to stretch it a bit)- aren't I clever?  It also just happens to feature my favorite contestant this year.  She wasn't necessarily the best contestant; that honor indisputably goes to the incredibly talented, amazingly diverse, and insufferably good-looking #1 David.  But what I really loved about Brooke, in addition to her considerable talent, was her charming, humble, lovable, good-girl personality.  Hooray for good girls- show biz needs more of them.

Funny how I never posted about AI when it was actually on, but now that it's over, I am.  As I mentioned earlier, it is part of my withdrawal process.

Anyway, without further blather, I present for you one of my favorite moments of the season finale, featuring the lovely Brooke White and the legendary Graham Nash.  (I'm sorry that this version, like most, cuts out just before Brooke says "Graham Nash- Wow!" at the end; that was so cute.  But the only one I could find that had that also had an ugly pic at the beginning.)  And now that I have put forth all this effort, I suppose I should go look up lyrics to make sure this song doesn't have some sinister hidden meaning or subtle message that I'm not aware of.

You can see that I am spending my extra hour tonight quite wisely.

Humor me.  Click, enjoy, and comment.  Then you can go visit with someone who actually has posted something intelligent tonight.

By the end of the week, I usually am mentally exhausted.  I guess that's why they call it "Fried-Day".  The end.  I'm going to bed now.