Things started on this route long ago. Calahan was in preschool and I noticed him struggling so bad. Blame it on the fact he's so young... he'll get it. Eventually. He had a leukemia scare at 2, and later we found out a bleeding disorder. In addition to being diagnosised with ADHD/mild ODD at 5. After 2 years of preschool, watching him struggle in that, I was torn, but when it was time to enroll him in Kindergarten, I thought ... I don't think this is going to work for him. So I held him out, deciding to homeschool him. We started out great, then I found out after 5 years of infertility I was pregnant - finally - and it was sticking!! (I miscarried Cal's twin, then ended up having 4 more miscarriages) ... several weeks after finding out I was pregnant and everything going good thus far in the pregnancy, we got news there were complications. Infact, I was told that the baby would either die during pregnancy, or shortly there after. See, after an amnio, I was told our lil new baby boy had a rare genetic disorder called Mosiac Trisomy 16. I sat down with Calahan and explained to him the best I could, to a 5 yr old, what was happening, and the possibilities. Then I started to struggle with the choices of school.
If (but it was never an IF in my mind) the baby survived, would I have the time I wanted to dedicate to homeschooling? Would it be fair to Calahan?
Finally I just decided, I had to put him back in school. So he started half way through the year (end of January 2002) ... his first day, Monday January 28th ... I dropped him off for his first day, cried over a complicated bunch of feelings - failure that homeschooling didn't happen the way I had envisioned, guilt, fear for him falling into the same groove he had before, saddness as every mom is their childs first day of school, and various other things. After I left I went to the DRs office for an appointment. I was having contractions every so often, hard enough for them to pick up, and the baby had a heart deceleration... My blood pressure was also super high. I was sent home with strict insturctions to go right home and to bed and that's it, then come back right away in the morning. Course I had to go pick up my (now ex) husband at work, and Calahan at school ... so I stopped and had lunch before I did that, and as soon as we got home, I went to bed. The following morning I dropped Cal off at school and went into the DR, the baby was having more heart decelerations and my blood pressure was super high still, and now I had protien ... I had turned Pre-eclampsic and the baby was in trouble. I was 32 weeks pregnant. I was given the first steroid shot to mature the baby's lungs in the office, I called my mom and my (now ex) husband in tears, and I went straight to the hospital. My (now ex) husband met me in the parking lot (he was rushed over from work by a co-worker) and I broke into hysterical tears as we walked in. I was scared. This was inching onto the moment of truth over our child and I had been strong and positive for so long that everything just came rushing out of me. After the following two steroid shots were given, I was given an amnio. The amnio came back saying his lungs were on the verge of being mature, but still weren't. Regardless, I was rushed to a hospital a couple hours away with a level 3 NICU so that the baby could be born, between him and I, we were both in danger, it was time to stop the pregnancy, for both of us. That Friday, February 1st 2002 ... Noah was born weighing a whopping 1lb 12oz.
Needless to say... Noah beat all the odds, and he survived. When he was born he wasn't allowed to cry, and it was one of the most heartbreaking things. He was on the vent for 40 some hours to help him breathe but came off it and never went back on.
Calahan went on with school, struggling every year. I was constantly debating homeschooling him agian, but with the number of appointments and tests - therapy and everything Noah had, I admit, I chose the EASY way, and just kept sending him to school.
Their dad and I got divorced and I started going back to school, having to face supporting these two kids on my own, I had to do something. So they continued to go to school. Noah became a social butterfly in pre-school and although he was behind and struggling himself, he was doing great, slowly but surely making progress.
Fast forward a little bit, I met Dennis, my current husband. The boys didn't meet him until Dennis and I were engaged and we were sure we wanted to be together. We started trying to balance our new life, with new family and I found out I was pregnant again. We opt'd for another amnio to make sure everything was okay, and to prepare ourselves if it wasn't, much like I had with Noah. The amnio came back saying it was another boy (oye, am I cursed? I just wanted ONE girl!) ... and that he was perfectly genetically healthy! YAY! But then we got news at the 20 week ultrasound, the baby had a cyst in his brain. I was told not to worry about it and everything would be fine. Well everything wasn't fine, but a lot better then it could have been. Dennis and I got married while I was 18 weeks pregnant with Nathan (just after we found out the amnio results and just before we got the 20 week ultrasound) ... knowing how the hospital NICUs worked, I knew he would have less hassle if we were married, we were already planning on it, and why wait? We planned a small wedding and got married.
Both these were taken on December 13, 2006 - our wedding day
 
The week we knew that Nathan was going to be born, Noah got EXTREAMLY sick and almost died. The hospital at home wasn't listening to us (or so it felt) and kept sending him home saying it was "just a virus" and so I took him to the clinic 2 hours away - connected to the hospital Noah had been born at, that the new baby would also be born at ... and had him seen there. Sure enough, his kidneys were failing and there were signs other things were starting to also. He was severaly sick. If we had waited a few more days, who knows if there would have been any coming back or what kind of life time damage he would have faced. Luckily they figured out what he had (C-diff) and treated it aggressively. He started to bounce back, even cheesing it up for this picture taken at 3am!
Nathan was born April 19th .... at 36 weeks. It was the hardest thing I had to do - leave Noah in his hospital room with my mom and Calahan, go down the hall with Dennis, go down one floor to L&D and start being prep'd for my c-section to have Nathan. We managed through it .. and Nathan was born bigger then Noah - but not by much! 3lbs 4oz ...
He was then diagnosied with a cleft palate, he has hearing issues (like Noah), thyroid issues, and so much more going on. He has now been labled failure to thrive because at almost 2 1/2 he is only 17 lbs. When he was 9 months old, we discovered we were having yet another baby ... and which would be labeled as our LAST.
I had my fingers crossed for pink.... however, news came it was another blue baby!! Yep! Boy # 4! However this time, other then being boardline pre-eclampsic - the baby was perfectly healthy!! YAY!!!
Kaedyn joined our family September 9th, 2008 (yes - his 1st birthday is 9-9-09!) ... 8lbs 3oz!
Now he's as big and bigger then his brother!! He has about 5 lbs on Nathan and is almost as tall.
Since Kaedyn's birth ... I've seen Calahan slip more and more down hill. In 4th Grade he had started getting bullied bad, he never was a "popular" kid with his quick temper and lack of self control ... but he had friends. However, some of his "friends" started to turn against him. He was constantly teased for whatever reason they could come up with at the time, and in 5th grade had escalated to the point where one child was following Cal home from school, had taken a screwdriver to school, and taken it out of his backpack telling Cal he was going to kill him and stuff. I had been addressing all these issues with the school and noticed it had just become a cycle. Something would happen, he'd tell me, I'd call the school, they'd do something, things would calm down for awhile, and then back to something happening. 5th Grade was the WORST. I considered yanking him out then, just out right pulling him out period. But I didn't. The following year was 6th Grade, he'd be at the middle school, hopefully things would get better... but I was noticing, Calahan was starting to make up being sick and he was afraid of going to school. 6th Grade hit and things were better. He was starting to get better grades, various stuff.. the school had made an effort to keep him in different classes then those who picked on him, and then towards the end of the year, it started to fall apart again. By the last quarter of 7th grade, I got a failure report. I have been getting these all through middle school for 1 or 2 classes, but this was different. He was failing FOUR CLASSES and getting a LOW D in one... I couldn't believe it.
At that point I made the choice, I was not going to send him back to school, it OBVIOUSLY wasn't working for him. Just as I thought so many years ago. He wasn't thriving in that enviornment. He wasn't learning anything because he was to afraid of when the next attack would come from and in what form.... he didn't feel safe at school and how can you learn ANYTHING when you don't feel safe. I would try to address these issues, and trying to get him to do his work but nothing seemed to do it. The vicious bully cycle continued and I had enough of watching him suffer like that.
Noah, I debated on pulling out because he's such a social butterfly. Even though he's not failing, he is way behind in his classes. According to his IEP and report card he was only meeting beginning of 1st grade standards (for the most part) at the end of the year. So I debated on it, and decided... since Noah was SO SICK last year (he caught EVERYTHING under the sun, missing A LOT of school) ... I would try homeschooling with him for just a year, just for now, and see what he wanted to do after. Plus the school isn't meeting some of his medical needs in regards to PT.
Since deciding all this.... my husband who has been going to Culinary School ... is faced with having to decide where he wants to go for his externship. There is the opportunity to go to Disney for a 6 month paid externship, and then we are thinking about moving to North Carolina.
The laws in North Carolina are harder then in WI, but our other choice was Washington State... and that's one of the hardest state in regards to laws. The cost of living was a big factor. Family was a factor (my family in Washington State, his in North Carolina along with my best friend) ... and various other stuff. We did huge pros and cons list, and North Carolina weighted out ... so we're facing a move at the end of March too... which Homeschooling makes easier in a way...
So ... that is the long road of coming to our choice to do the RIGHT thing, and Homeschool...
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