Psalm 73: 25-28

Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever...As for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Thy works.

Amen

So in the last weeks my life has been a blur...truly. So much has happened to just shake up my reality.

First we have an awesome ministry opportunity with Livin it. We do skateboarding ministry and we got in with a great group and have a chance to go to Japan and minister to the kids at the naval bases over there. There is a possibility of a trip to India too. Also my honey has a chance to go to Kasakstan to help build the Freedom Center over there. This is a "school" which is really in reality going to minister to this hurting area the freedom they can find in Christ. So much goings on in ministry. I am so excited and just glad that I am called to bring GLORY to God and that He chooses to use us. I am hoping He will allow us to serve in some of these ways and I am really excited to teach my kids to be servants to others.

The day after our big ministry weekend with Livin it. I was in a terrible car accident. It totalled my car and I broke a vertebre in my neck. For 2 weeks I have lived in a blur. I have only really been clear in thought since Monday. I feel robbed of the last 2 weeks, but also if God can restore the years the locust have eaten away then he can restore 2 weeks hydrocodone ate away.

So I am hurting but good, thankful to be alive. Thankful my kids werent with me. Thankful to be able to kiss my kids and my honey every day. And wanting to live my life full on for God the only thing that really matters. I want the verse above to really be true. To be able to say I desire nothing on earth...wow. In reality I dont desire anything but God in my life and I am glad that he has given me a desire for my family. They are truly beautiful and I love them all so much. My brown eyed girl with her beautiful straight dark hair and then my 3 blond, curly haired boys. They are lovely. And then my beloved...oh how I love him.

So my Gabriel asked to go outside today. I said yes and in a matter of 1.5 to 2 minutes he managed to scare me worse than I have ever been scared in my life. I heard him screaming and so i run outside and notice our car has gone down the driveway and has ended up in the side of the barn. Gabe is running screaming and crying away from the car. Quickly I scan the area for the rest of the blonde boys. I see Eli who looks frazzled but alright...I began calling for Drew and there is no answer and I call louder and am now screaming for him. I yell in the house for him and still no answer. I then think I hear someone crying quietly from by the car. In my panic I think that the car has run over Drew and he is trapped under the car. This is a feeling no mom should ever have to feel. I told the other boys to quickly get in the house, because I didnt want them to have to see Drew broken and hurt. I then run frantically toward the car and cant see under it because it has backed into the barn and a huge concrete bird bath is wedged up on the back of it. Now please remember that I have a broken neck from my car accident 2 weeks ago. I then She-Ra(d) the huge bird bath off the car and procede to try and push the car when Drew walks out of the house. He had been in the shower and couldnt hear me calling but he did hear all the boys crying and thought that the house was being robbed...ha. So noone died and no one was run over, but I really hurt myself picking up the huge concrete bird bath. I am also insanely mad at my 6 year old. He just doesnt think. I know he is 6 but he knows not to play in the car.

Anyway I am exhausted. From the accident and then from my emotional ride of today. Also just dealing with healing and all. So anyway, I want to be focused on what is important.  I got a bit sorry for myself today. I have had noone to care for me except my honey and my kids, but Shelby works all day. My mom never came and my mother in law wouldnt dream of coming to help. I have had help with meals from our church and even had my house cleaned my 2 women from the church...what a huge blessing. But I got whiny like why didnt my mom come and take care of me, I broke my neck, I have 4 kids you would think that would warrant a visit but no.

I had to stop myself and just praise the Lord. He has been with me since the impact of the cars hitting each other. It was His voice I heard in my drugged in between sleep and awake state. It was Him I heard singing over me in the middle of the night when I awoke in pain. It was Him that swang with me on my porch swing. He has taken care of me, maybe different than my mom would have, but He has provided for all my needs and the needs of my family. He also made me turn to Him and not to anyone else. I have been in my Midian and it has been wonderful.  I am blessed. A bit confused and really exhausted. A bit bewildered by the events of the last few weeks and today, but I can say at the end of the day. Who have I in heaven but Thee and I desire nothing on earth besides Thee...My flesh and my heart may fail (truly my heart failed this morning) But you are the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I love this part... the nearness of God is my good (yum) I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Thy works. (Delicious wonderful goodness) God is good! Always  in all things and He will always be exalted.

Blessings,

Andrea