Tears are the materials from which God weaves the brightest rainbows.Max Lucado
Feb. 12, 2007
Learning to Comfort.... 
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3 and 4
For years Ive struggled with the inabliity to comfort, effectively, those in my family who are hurting. Many times I've prayed for the right words to say and many times my prayer came back to me seemingly empty, which I mistook to mean, "don't say anything, there's nothing you can do anyway."
Whether my attitude in asking wasn't pure, or sin prevented my prayers from being heard, my attempts at comforting others have so often failed and many times made things worse.
Again, last night, the need for comfort came, and again words failed me and I prayed for guidance. Though I didn't recognize the answer immediately, it did come and as I was sitting alone today a couple of principals came to mind that I believe will be effective as future situations arise.
1) Acknowledge one's pain as real. One of my failures in this area is the inability to recognize or authenticate the very real pain that another is feeling ~ not being able to put myself in their shoes. Quite often, I do not understand what they are feeling because I simply have not had the same experience and since I don't understand the pain I often times negate it.
2) Don't minimize their pain. Quite often the action that caused another's pain is something that wouldn't have bothered me because of who I am or the way I think. Therefore, I'm apt to be heard saying "Oh come on, that's silly ~ get over it," or some other insensitive remark that ends up inflicting even more pain.
3) Be willing to listen. No matter how often you may have heard the same complaint ~ sometimes a person's ability to verbalize his/her frustrations to someone whom they know is truly listening, will help them come to terms quicker with the problem than if they have to internalize their pain.
4) Don't try to fix it for them. Unless you are the cause of the pain, there is probably nothing you can do to fix the problem other than offering a shoulder to cry on and holding them up in prayer and asking for God's healing touch on their behalf.
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Comments
Feb. 14, 2007 - I entered!
 Posted by Biblekid2 Just wanted to let you know I just posted my entry to your haiku contest on my blog. God Bless!
- Biblekid2 : )
Feb. 15, 2007 - Praying for you!
 Posted by momofneb Hello! I just wanted to let you know that I have enjoyed reading over your blog! I will be praying for you as you seek to be a comfort to those around you! Comforting others can be very hard to do sometimes (at least it is for me). I find that I don't want to say or do something, that might just make things worse instead of better, so I tend to not say anything at all. This is something that I ask the Lord to help me with as well!
I will pray for you in this matter!
Kim (momofneb) fellow Blogger Friend Classmate!
Feb. 16, 2007 - Comfort
 Posted by Cricket's Corner God is smiling at you right now! You have called out to him and admitted you need guidance. I loved your points, they have helped me also. I willbe praying for you this week.
In Christ,
Terri Sue
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