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Tears are the materials from which God weaves the brightest rainbows.Max Lucado
May. 22, 2007
Kid funnies... 
Posted By 4evrHischild in Humor
So I'm teaching my four year old to recite John 3:16 to get a jump on the Sparks book for our next years class at Awana's. He's doing very well. Last night he got half way through and asked for help with a few words and was able to finish up. Here's what came out....
John 3:16
"For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten son,
that whoever believes in Him
shall not perish but
have eleven lasting wifes.
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May. 12, 2007
Mother's Day Humor....
Posted By 4evrHischild in Humor
Happy Mother's Day Everyone...
After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing He said was " Don't "
" Don't what? " Adam replied.
" Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
" Forbidden fruit? "
We have forbidden fruit? "
Hey Eve ...we have forbidden fruit !!!!!
" No Way!" " Yes way!"
" Do not eat the fruit ! said God."
" WHY "
"Because, I am your Father
and I said not to!" God replied,
(wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants)
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked!
" Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
" Did not " " Did to " " Did not"
Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was
that Adam and Eve should have
children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set
and it has never changed.
But there is Reassurance in this Story !
If you have persistently
and lovingly tried to give
your children wisdom and they haven't taken it
... don't be hard on yourself ....
If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be a
piece of cake for you?
Things to think about
1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next sixteen
telling them to sit down and shut up
2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know "why"
some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom miss quote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there "are"
children more awful than your own.
6. We child proof our homes ...
but they are still getting in !
Advice for the Day !
Be nice to your kids
" They " will choose
your nursing home ...
And finally ...
If you have a lot of tension
and you get headaches too
"Do what the aspirin bottle says"
Take 2 aspirin and ...
"Keep Away From Children "
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Jul. 31, 2006
Kids say the darndest things...
Posted By 4evrHischild in Humor
My second son, age 15, was reading through some of my blog and said "If someone read your blog that didn't know you, they might actually like you." What was I supposed to say to that.
"Gee thanks!" I said and he went on to say, you know I'm not good with words. LOL
Well, this remark got me to thinking about some of the other funny things my children have said recently and in the past and I thought I'd share them with you. Please comment with some of the funny things your kids have said. I can always use a good laugh.
"Mom, why are hippos, called hippos? Is it because they have really big hips?" 1.D.7
"Mom, I can see your ghost!" What he actually saw was my shadow. 4.S.3
"Mom, if men from Rome are called Romans, are the women called Rolaids?" this said by my first child when he was about 6 - he is now 19 and on his way to college.
"Why does it say you can only fish with artificial lures? Is it because there are only artificial fish here?" my dear second child said this when we were vacationing, he was about 4 and is now 15.
This same son, has really given me the most laughs. When I was pregnant with my fourth child I was about 1-1/2 weeks overdue. I overheard him telling someone that "If Mom doesn't have the baby by Monday, the doctors are going to 'produce' her." This was when he was eight.
My mother-in-law has a bunch of old slides that she likes to have us come and watch with her. One time, when my son was 5, we were watching them and one of them was sideways. It was a picture of someone in a canoe. My son said, "The reason they look sideways is because they were going downstream."
Then there was the time he saw a women's underwear commercial for the first time and asked "Why is she on t.v. with just her underpants and 'bump trap" on?
My personal favorite though is when we were watching a news program and the announcer said something about the Democratic party. He immediatley put his hand over his mouth and said "I thought that was a bad word." (If you are a Democrat, please don't be offended - this came from a five year old - not me.)
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Jun. 22, 2006
Kids on Marriage
Posted By 4evrHischild in Humor
I received this email about what kids think of marriage and it was so funny I thought I'd share it with you.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you
like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should
keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later
who you're stuck with.
-- Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER
by then.
-- Camille, age 10
(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married.
-- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling
at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
(1) Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
(1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
(1) When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess
with that.
-- Curt, age 7
(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
(1) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the # 1 Favorite is . .
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
Right on Ricky, I'd sure want to know my husband still thought I was pretty.
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Sharing what God is teaching me in hopes
of encouraging others.
Tomorrow is another day, with no mistakes
in it yet."
Anne of Green
Gables
Psalm 40:17
But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord
thinketh on me. Thou art my help and my
deliverer.
Isaiah 49:15b-16a
I will never forget you! See, I have you
engraved on the palms of my hands.
John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in
me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble. But
take heart!
I have overcome the world."
Psalm 68:19
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
who daily bears our burdens.
Psalm 77:19b-20a
Though your footprints were not seen, you
led your people like a flock
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the Plans I have for you", declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Psalm 30:5b
Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.
2 Chronicles 16:9
For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro thoughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.
Isaiah 26:3
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee
Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord.
Psalm 139:17-18
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God!
They are innumerable!
I cant even count them;
They outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up in the morning,
You are still with me!
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