My friend Jessica http://www.triviumacademy.blogspot.com/ shared an invitation she recieved to go to a minister & wife marriage seminar.  Included in the material were some statistics about divorce for couples in ministry.   She listed these statistics:

Those in ministry "are equally likely to have their marriage end in divorce" as general church members.
(Harford Seminary study of 10 Protestant denominations -4,400 people) Ministries Today, Sept/Oct 1995

Second highest divorce rate among all professions.
("The State of the Pastor"- Injoy Ministries- Partners in Prayer Report.)

77% of pastor's wives are dissatisfied with marriage.
("The State of the Pastor"- Injoy Ministries- Partners in Prayer Report.)

Only 24% of pastors have received marital counseling.

80% of pastors believe ministry negatively affects the family.

33% of pastors believe ministry is downright hazardous to marriage.

50+% of pastors wives are severely depressed.
(Dr. James Dobson) and (Pastors at Risk by H.B. Londn and Neil Wiseman)

I am surprised at how high the numbers are!  I was already 28 before I became a minister's wife.  I was just so happy to finally be married.  Being more mature I think helped me not feel that others were scrutinizing us.  I was already a member of the church a year before my dh came to be the pastor.  Then he was there a 1 1/2 years before we married.  That may have helped??  When we came to FL, I was a SAHM for 2 under 2.  I didn't feel obligated to take on any responsibilities.  I didn't even join the choir for the first two months.  I knew that I needed that time to acclimate to our new church and get to know the people.  I didn't have any positions for the first two years either except as a nursery helper.  That really helped me not to stress. 

I have many church family thank me for giving him up so many nights for visitation, counseling, activities, etc. (that I cannot participate in many times since we have young children).  As his helpmeet, I support him in his work by praying for him and smiling as I kiss him goodbye!  I would rather he be home, but I am so thankful that eventually he does come home, and usually before I am asleep!  Whenever I start feeling lonely for all the time I miss with him, I remind myself that Navy wives or truck driver's wives see their husbands much less!  About the only time I get jealous is when he eats out a lot.  The better I learn to cook, though, the less that  bothers me! :)

My other struggle is to keep my loves in the right order: God, husband, children!  I am tempted because I take care of the girls all day long to do things to suit them and their schedule.  That is fine when dh is not here, but when he is home I must lead us to all pull together to make time with Daddy home as he needs it!  I am also tempted to put God last when my children, dh and I need me to be strong spiritually so statistics like this won't be true for us!

I am so thankful for my wonderful marriage (almost 9 years) and pray for all couples who are Christians to lean on God and his Word to stay strong in their marriage.  There is no he said/ she said when everyone is repeating what HE SAID!

By His Grace and for His Glory! 

I had to delete this post from a last week because someone added a very sinful comment and I could not figure our how to delete just their comment.  I have now added the feature that you cannot comment unless you are a registered user at HSB.  Sorry to family who may be reading this, but most of you were not commenting here anyway so I am sure you don't mind.  I am sure it just an attack by sinners in the need of great mercy and repentance!  God's will be done!

Anyway, here is the post again.  I do apologize to the kind friends who commented and I had to delete your comment. 

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I decided in April when we finished the Jonathan Park audio series, that my children's class on Wednesday nights would learn some memory verses.  I have a book called God's Alphabet for Life by Joel Beeke and Heidi Boorsma. (We are reading a series with our girls during family worship called Building on the Rock which is also by Joel Beeke: Excellent books!)  Each verse starts with the letters of the alphabet in order.  There is a story with each verse.  It is really more like a children's sermon.  I decided to do two verse each Wednesday night.  We have taken two nights on some of the verses because of absences or because the verses were a little harder.  Last night we reviewed the first 8 verses to make sure they could remember them.  We played a game I call Silent Soccer.  The children are absolutely quiet or they have to exit the game.  This is so they can hear the other person saying the verse to help them review/learn it.  Using a soft ball, we toss it back and forth around the circle.  When you catch the ball you have to say the next verse in alphabetical order.  If you can't your are out.  The last person to say a verse and catch the ball wins.  It was so wonderful to hear these 11 children saying these verses.  Nearly all of the children know the first 8.  What is so wonderful too is that I am learning them!  I have always had a hard time as an adult remembering a scripture in the actual wording or where it was found in the Bible.  This has really helped me to do it!  I am so thankful to say that I know all 8 verses and references!

We have also been going around the room to pray.  I have sometimes felt that this was wrong for children to do if they are not saved.  But I see our youth and adults who struggle to pray out loud and silently to God.  I began to see that it was no more wrong that having unsaved children sing hymns or put money in the offering plate.  No one is forced to pray.  When my girls do these things with a cheerful heart on their own, I can only pray that it is the first toddling steps on their path of salvation and sanctification!  I pray one day that will do these things with a regenerate heart! 

I also wanted to share another way that we have learned these verses.  I write the verse on the wipe off board large enough for all to read.  Then I have a child come up and read the verse.  After they read, they erase a word or part of the reference from the board and draw a line to show the missing part.  We continue around the room reapeating this until finally all the words and the reference are gone.  Then we go around the room having everyone say it from memory.  This has been really effective.  One of my students just finished K.  He is an emerging reader.  Even he was willing and able to do this!

I wanted to share this to thank God for working in my own heart to lead in something I am not good at doing.  My weakness is made perfect in His strength!  There I go again, paraphrasing, because I haven't memorized that verse exactly!

Ps 119:11
Your word I have treasured in my heart,
That I may not sin against You.
NASU

For the Glory of God! 

In Him,

Years ago, before I was married, I thought maybe God was preparing my heart to work in missions, maybe in the US, but with a non-English speaking culture group.   When my dh and I felt God was calling us away from our church in VA we looked into mission work.  When God didn't open that door,  we accepted that staying in the local church setting was where God wanted us, at least for now.  In a way, we felt like missionaries moving to a new state with a somewhat different culture, but really it was not that big of an adjustment. 

As I have continued to mature in my walk with God I know that God has called us all to be missionaries in a sense.  We are to live in the world but not be of it.  Right now my mission field is three little girls, and our church as much as I can be a helpmeet to my husband without neglecting our children.  God has given us three souls  and it is our responsibility to witness to them "when we sit in our house and when we walk by the way and when we lie down and when we rise up" (Deut. 6)etc.  This was such a revelation when I understood it.  There is no furlough for the missionary mom and dad.  This is a lifetime mission.  This time now will greatly impact each day of the rest of our girls lives!  It is a glorious and yet sobering call to this mission!

My wonderful husband copied a letter from John Piper's website for the back of our bulletin this week.  I thought it was so wonderful and I wanted to share it here too.  May I feel the same way about my mission field and my Master as she did! 

In Him,

I tease my dh (pastor) that he doesn't like an author unless the author has been dead for at least 200 years!  It is not completely a joke though!  We both find much higher principle and devotion many times in writings from the Puritans and other Christians who lived a much closer walk to God and His Word than we often see in spoiled and over-entertained present day America!  ( I am included in that description!)  One of the books that we purchased at the last Ligonier conference in Orlando was a book called The Valley of Vision.  It is a collection of devotions from Puritans, mostly annonymous.  They are beautiful and often chastise my shallow devotional time and prayers to God!  I was reading them Saturday and I wanted to share this one with who ever may read this blog. 

O God, The Author of All Good,

I come to thee for the grace another day

will require for its duties and events.

I step out into a wicked world,

I carry about with me an evil heart,

I know that without thee I can do nothing,

 that everything with which I shall be concerned,

however harmless in itself,

may prove an occasion of sin or folly,

unless I am kept by thy power.

Hold thou me up and I shall be safe.

Preserve my understanding from subtilty of error,

my affections from love of idols,

my character from stain of vice,

my profession from every form of evil.

May I engage in nothing in which I cannot

implore thy blessing,

and in which I cannot invite thy inspection.

Prosper me in all lawful undertakings,

or prepare me for disappointments;

Give me neither poverty nor riches;

Feed me with food convenient for me,

lest I be full and deny thee

and say, Who is the Lord?

or be poor, and steal, and take thy name in vain.

May every creature be made good to me

by prayer and they will;

Teach me how to use the world, and not abuse it,

to improve my talents,

to redeem my time

to walk in wisdom toward those without,

and in kindness to those within,

to do good to all men,

and especially to my fellow Christians.

And to thee be the glory.

I pray you are blessed as you read this and think of the many verses of scripture which are expressed in this so beautifully!  In Him,

May the Lord forgive me when I have falsely represented His word!  Our words are like fool's gold, but God's Word has "given me life." Psalm 119:50