Last Wednesday, on our way home from therapy my 8yo was in a bad mood. Dakota kept reaching in front of him to try to grab something & it made G. mad so he smacked his arm.  Dakota turned to look at him & as clear as can be told him "You in BIG twubble!!!!" I just about choked trying not to laugh. That is the EXACT phrase my 8yo uses when he is really upset with someone, "I'm gonna tell & you're gonna get in big trouble". To hear Dakota use a version of it really surprised me.

Then last night my 3yo was being a pill. He decided that he wanted something Dakota was playing with & was going to take it. Again Dakota said "Big Twubble!!!", only this time he came & said it to me. He is starting to tattle on his siblings! Now this is not something we allow (though it obviously still happens at times) but the fact that he has gotten the concept of doing that just makes me want to . It shows us that he IS understanding concepts that he never used to understand & quite frankly I would MUCH rather have him come "tattle" to me than to push or hurt a sibling. I am just thrilled that his language has reached a point where he can let us know about things in a way other than just screaming or crying.

yesterday Dakota was up sometime between 6 & 6:30 am. He is very good about staying in bed, we have never allowed him to get up unless someone else was up, but when he is awake I cannot sleep. Partly because I can hear him giggling & being loud in bed but also I worry that one of these times he might decide to get up anyway & try to get outside or something. So I stayed in bed listening to him, hoping he would fall back asleep. No such luck. Between 7:30-8 I heard a sound & got up to check what it was. As soon as Dakota heard me moving around he popped right out of bed. I met him in the hallway & he flashed me a beautiful grin & said "Good Morning!", then walked on out to the Living room & tUrned on the tv. Little stinker!  I was NOT feeling very cheerful over not getting enough sleep but his greeting certainly made me smile.

This was a week ago but I just had to blog about it so I dont forget.

Last week my Grandmas church did Heritage Days. One of the things they did was a hayride for the dc. I wasnt sure if Dakota would like it or not but my 3yo wanted me to come along so I figured we would try. He LOVED it. Was giggling & playing with the hay. Didnt even want to get off the wagon after it was done. Funny thing though, he didnt want to go on another ride later  when I tried to take him.

Dakota is the middle child looking down. I wish I had taken another picture when he was looking up. he was having so much fun.

Ok I realize that most toddlers dont want to accept no as an answer & he is toddler-like in his reasoning ability so I guess this is actually fairly normal BUT he must learn to accept that no means no without getting mad & trying to hit people. He is a very strong 6yo. I cannot have him hitting at me or a sibling if he dosnt like the answer. I guess it is just a matter of being VERY, VERY, VERY consistant with him. Boy that is hard though, especially since he can hold out for a LOOOOOOOONG time if he really wants something.

Dakota is using a few new phrases lately. For a few weeks now he has been using  "Help me" & "I want". Usually only one of those phrases & then he leads us to what he wants. Yesterday I told him it was time to turn off his computer game. He was NOT happy with me & kept fighting me so I just turned off the computer, as far as he is concerned if it is on he has a chance, if it is off that is the final word. When he saw me click the button to turn it off he get very upset & yelled "Stop that!!!!".  

We went to a Heritage Day at our church on Saturday. Dakota was riding in the stroller. He is almost to big for it but he feels safe when in it. I was talking with a lady from the church who I hadnt seen for awhile & she asked if he was crippled because it surprised her to see a 6yo riding in a stroller when there was so much to do. I told her no he isnt crippled but he does have Autism & the stroller helps him to feel safe & function at things like this. She replied "Oh, thats not so bad. Thats something he will outgrow right?" Sigh, I wish she was right.  It surprises me sometimes how little people know about Autism. Please read the facts & learn for yourself.

http://www.autisminfo.com/Whatis.htm 

http://autism.emedtv.com/autism/autism-statistics.html

 it can be summarized that between 1 in 500 (2/1,000) to 1 in 166 children (6/1,000) have autism.

As many as 1 out of every 166!! That is a lot of children & the rates are rising everyday. Chances are that in your lifetime there will be someone you know & love affected by Autism. Very sad fact but very true.

There is nothing more comforting than knowing that the people you love care enough to educate themselves about your childs condition. Autism is hard enough without having people tell you "if you would just not allow him to......... he would get better" It would certainly be nice if that were true but ufortunetly  neurological disorders arent that easy to fix.

What am I going to do as Dakota gets bigger & stronger??  At 6yo he is strong enough to make it VERY difficult to get him to do things he dosnt want to do. If he dosnt want to go somewhere it is almost impossible to get him into, or out of, his carseat. Recently I had to stop at a store & he did NOT want to go in. It took me almost 10 minutes to get him out of the car. His seat is in the far back & he kept fighting me & grabbing the seat to prevent being gotten out.  He can be very stubborn when he wants, or dosnt want, something. It scares me a little. How will I manage when he is 12yo & choses to fight me on something?

I havent been keeping up here very well I guess. Lets see, last week Dakota was sick. Apparently just a 24 hour bug but it came complete with throwing up & all the fun that goes with that.  

The last few days he has been kindof "off". Not sure what is up, maby the weather?? We have had rainy weather again for about 4 days now so it would definitly fit the time frame. Yesterday he woke up with a nasty rash & was off the wall hyper, I suspect yeast issues flaring up. I allowed him to have a cupcake & some ice cream at his brothers birthday party on Sat night so the time frame is about right for that too.

He did have a few good moments today though. While watching a kids tv show he was fascinated by a song on the show. When it finished he turned to me & said "music" with a big grin on his face. He loves music.

Hopefully tomorrow will be even beter.

We went to the beach yesterday. Ive shared most of the day on my family blog but am adding Dakotas highlights here.

He was FASCINATED by the ocean. Kept saying "water, water".

There were fishing boats all around us & he would stare at them saying "Boat, water, boat!!"

We saw a bunch of sea lions laying on a dock & stopped to watch them. He was totally fascinated by them, just kept staring & staring.

We went crabbing with SIL's family which he LOVED. Would get really excited when a crab was caught & very upset when one was thrown back because it wasnt a keepable size. He kept sayng "crab, crab!!!" At one point one was thrown back & he started crying & asking for "buddy". Another time some keepers were put into the cooler & he stood watching them & saying "sorry, sorry". He would try to pull the rings up himself because he was so excited.

He just had the best time at the coast, no meltdowns except one time when we started to go into a really crowded building but he calmed down as soon as we left. he enjoyed watching the salt water taffy machine thru the window at the candy store & even when we went inside to buy some he did ok, even though the machine was really loud &  about to make me feel like I was hitting overload myself. He just did so well. It was a wonderful, relaxing day for all of us.

watching sea lions

crabbing

sitting on Daddys chair talking. "Bob..Bob To-ma-to. Bob..Bob...Bobby. Bobby Flay!!!"

Now of course it is all repeated from a tv show but ......

"Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping. Youre toooooo late! Oh Maaaaaaaaan!"

& I dont know why it is starting. The other day Dakota got mad at me because I told him no about something. He grabbed my arm & squeezed & pressed his chin into me hard. He has done that before when he is mad but usually stops right away when I tell him no. This time he kept doing it. I was holding the baby so I only had one free hand & when I would try to move away he would follow me & continue. When I pulled my arm away from him he went behind me & did the same thing only pressing into my back. It may not sound like it but trust me, when a strong 6yo is using his chin to press into your body as hard as he can it does HURT.

I finally got him to stop but the next day he did the same thing because I wouldnt come sign him onto the computer while I was nursing the baby. Except this time instead of doing it to me he did it to the baby, pressing his chin into L's back. This is the first time he has EVER done anything like that. I have seen him get upset with the other dc & push them away from him & I know he has done the chin thing to my 12yo a few times but not in a long time. He is usually so very careful around L. I do not like that he is doing this, it scares me. Im not sure how to deal with it.

My little boy is just so sweet. Last night I was finishing up some stuff & he brought me the remote for the tv in my bedroom. he handed it to me & looked me in the eye & said "food neffwork??" I took the remote & went & turned on the tv & put it on Food Network. he gave me a BIG grin & crawled into my spot in the bed & said "Food Neffwork...Nite nite" Apparently he thought he was going to lay in my bed & watch tv till he fell asleep.

The other day my dh had a very long work day. Dakota was on the verge of a meltdown, the older dc were asleep, the baby was fussing & I was tired so I took both boys & went to lay down in my room. I figured Dakota would maby settle down if I turned on the tv. I turned on Food Network & he started to calm down a little & watch it, then all of a sudden he leaned in close to me & said "Good Eats?  Brown???"   He absolutely LOVES watching Alton Brown, especially the shows that have the burping yeast puppets on them.   Another time he saw a preview with Rachael Ray & said "Money, money, money... Rachel!!" (I LOVE watching $40 a day)

It is so fun to hear what he is thinking.

My sweet Dakota turned 6 on the 12th. How can it be 6 years already??? I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. I remember the sweet smiling toddler before he regressed. I remember the day we noticed he seemed differant & the struggle to find out why. As hard as some have been, I would never trade a single day.  He is such a precious child. So sweet & innocent. So trusting & loving. His smile lights up a room.

Happy Birthday sweet Koda. Momma loves you!!

1yo

2yo

3yo

4yo

5yo

6yo!!!!

Goodness I have not been doing well keeping up with this blog the last while.

Dakota is doing MUCH better. Still some hyperness that wasnt there before but sleeping normally again & using his words again too. Last night dh brought me home some zucchini & cucumbers from my grandmas garden & Dakota saw them.  He grabbed them & said "cu-cum-ber" Very drawn out like he had to work to get it but he said it!!! Then he took them & was playing with them on the table, walking them around like little people.  I have mentioned that he LOVES VeggieTales before right??

A few days ago I lay my 11 month old on my bed after nursing him to sleep & Dakota crawled up beside him. I was watching very closely to see what he was doing. He lay down beside his brother & then scooted in till he was touching him. Then he put his hand up & was very lightly rubbing his head.  He has always been very careful around him which I am so glad of. He is just such a sweetie.

My first instinct was the right one. We are stopping all suppliments & diet changes for a few days & letting him even out. After that we will restart the suppliments, one at a time about a week or so apart. After that we will restart the diet. Dr said it was probably just the body releasing the toxins but we may have started too much too fast. I started everything on the Drs schedule so maby Dakota is extra sensitive or something.

LAst night at bedtime Dakota was playing in my room. I went to get him & he had found the brand new markers. He had drawn ALL over himself. Both legs, hands, face covered in marker. I didnt even think to grab the camera & get a picture. It was past bedtime & had been a tiring day so I just headed him to the tub. Oddly he did NOT want a bath, which he normally LOVES. I managed to get a little off but not all of it. They werent permanent markers but not washable ones either unfortunetly. I guess he will have blue skin for a few days.

Its been a "crawl in a hole & cry" kind of week. We started out about a week & a half ago with HOT weather. 110 in an area that almost never sees over 100. Dakota does NOT do well in heat so he had major problems with it.

Even after the weather cooled down some we have been noticing changes in him. Not as cooperative as normal, stimming again, not wanting to interact & refusing to try to write. Yesterday it hit me that he is not using his words as much as he was & I started mentally going backwards to see when that started. Hes definitly been going downhill for a week or so. He is barely speaking spontaniously at all & only repeating things about 50% of the time as opposed to about 95%  before. Hes also been giggling & spinning again & last night was up at 4am, totally hyper & acting wierd. We havent had that happen in ages.

A month ago his Dr put him on a special diet & added in some suppliments. Im thinking one of those is causing this but it is scaring me. It took us so long to get him to this point & now it is all going away. I just want to cry. Seeing these changes makes me very aware of how far we had come in the last few months. I have a call in to his Dr & am hoping he will call me back soon. My first instinct is to pull everything & get him back to normal & then sloooooooooowly try again but I will wait till I talk with the Dr before I do anything. I just cant stand seeing this.

musicalmom1998 asked me about Dakotas videos. We have collected quite a few over the years & he tends to switch off with them. We have

LeapFrog:

Letter Factory - he learned to recognize all the letters & their sounds from this.

Word Factory - teaches spelling basic words.

He learned to sound out simple words like C-A-T before he could say the words.

Word Factory 2, Code Word Caper - moves up to more complex words. Silent E, 2 vowels together like in WAIT or TEAM.  He has a great understanding of all those concepts now.

He is getting the newest one for his birthday in about 2 weeks. It goes a bit deeper into real reading. It is called Learn to Read at the Storybook Factory.  I LOVE the Leap frog dvds & HIGHLY reccomend them to anyone. They are very well done. All concepts are set to very catchy tunes, my 3yo knows all the songs.

We also have the math one by Leap Frog. it teaches counting to 10 & the concept of how many 10 is as well as very basic adding & subtracting. Also very well done.

Baby Bumblebee:

we have the 5 Vocabulary Builders, the 3 Action Words, & both Numbers DVD's.

Signing Time:

My First Signs

Playtime Signs

Everyday Signs

Family, Feelings & Fun

ABC Signs

My Favorite Things

There are 13 differant ones all together. You can see them at www.signingtime.com When we got them he was totally nonverbal & we had hoped he would use the signs to communicate. While he does know them all he never would use them for communication. Now though he is learning to say the words & also to read them, they show  the words on the screen.

We also have a DVD from www.preschoolpower.com

Kindof a Montessory school type dvd that shows little children teaching how to do basic things. Hes not quite as thrilled with it as some of the others  but has picked up a few things from it.

That is mainly what we have. His other favorite things to watch are Dora the Explorer, Veggie Tales & believe it or not Food Network.  

Today he picked up something that said Blue Bunny (Ice Cream) on it. He sounded out both words. Yesterday he was spelling some words that I know are not on his videos or in his books. He also told me the words on something he was playing with. I cant remember what they were anymore but I know they were words that Im sure he didnt know.

I spent all these years trying to find the key so we could open the doors to reach him & all this time it was right in front of me. Ive always known letters & words were a big thing with him but who would have known it would unlock all this.

Numbers havent been as big of a pull for him as letters but he is becomming more interested in them. He likes to take a ruler & name the numbers on it. The other day he was sitting outside on the motorcycle while daddy was working on it & we heard him say "10, 20, 30". He was reading the numbers on the speedometer.  I knew he could count to 20 & I knew he recognized a lot of the numbers up to 20 but that kindof threw me.

He loves crayons. I recently bought some new ones & he is fascintaed with them. he will bring me a crayon & have me read the color to him. Sometimes he will sit with the box & pick them out one at a time & say the color. He even names the odd ones like Yellow-Green. He has taken to pointing out the color of things we see. My SIL recently gave him a pillow that she thought he would like. Silky material & kindof an odd squishy feel to it. He kept bringing it to me & telling me "Pillow..red pillow". When watching Dora he will say "red firetruck", "yellow bulldozer", "blue train".  Color is almost as big of a deal with him as letters & words are.

I have been thinking of painting his bedroom with a differant bright color on each wall & then big letters & numbers in contrasting colors painted all over it. I dont know when I will ever get around to it but maby someday when I have a spare moment.

It has clicked!! He realizes now that words can be used to request what he wants!!!!! He will come to me, get right in my face & stare into my eyes to make sure I am listening & then ask for something. When he wants to watch tv he will come say "Dora" then usually tell me which episode he wants. So like "Dora..ABC's" or "Dora...Ice Cream". Just a bit ago he brought me a cup & said "Drink..thirsty".

He is developing an interest in animals. We stopped at my Grandmas farm the other day & when we drove in the driveway Dakota got really excited & started saying "Sheep, Sheep!!!!" My uncles sheep were by the yard fence. we took him over to see them & he had the most excited bright eyes. Just staring at them. Kept saying "sheep!!!!!". He wanted so badly to pet them. He even  tried to climb the fence to get in with them.  Can this be  the same child that was terrified of puppies just 6 months ago???? When we left he started crying. He was trying to run back to the sheep.

I have noticed with each of my dc that just before "getting" the concept of potty training they would start to let me know when they are needing changed. Its one of the best signs that they are ready. Dakota has been showing signs that he is starting to get it  & has even used the bathroom once or twice but it is more like a game to him not a true understanding of what he is supposed to be doing. Most times he hates to sit on the toilet or potty chair & could care less when he is wet or messy. Today he was outside with Daddy & he came to me & said "diaper". He was saying another word too that I could not figure out. I asked him "do you need a diaper?" He repeated both words again. So I said "ok lets go inside & I'll change your diaper", he ran in ahead of me & waited while I got one & then started saying the other word over & over again. I was still not getting it, when I picked up the wipes he got excited & repeated his word again. That was when it hit me, he was saying wipes! Diaper & wipes.  

I bought a new box of markers the other day & it didnt get put away. I have 6 dc, I KNOW better than that. So Dakota found them & got out a marker, without anyone noticing. I could see him  from where I was working & thought nothing of it. He was sitting on the floor with his back to me & I assumed he was *reading* like he so often does. When I walked thru the dining room just a few minutes later I found giant purple words written on my floor. Fortunetly they wiped up with a baby wipe.

Note to self....lock up the permanent markers.

6 months ago I thought he never would & now its just amazing. He will come to me & just say word after word. All the things he knows that were locked inside. He knows all his colors. He can count to 20, maby higher, & he recognizes the numbers too. (he says five-teen for fifteen ) He can tell me the names of many fruits & vegetables. He can spell so many words, big words. He is talking to people some now, trying to have conversations. He will come get us & say "go bye bye" if he wants to go somewhere. He now says "Signing time" or "Dora" to request movies. He will say "bath" when he wants to take a bath. Last night he had something & he came &  told me "dont like". When he gets tired he will say "night night". He will have me read him a page from a book, over & over till it is memorized & then he will recite it. The entire page! If I read something to him out of order he will correct me by saying it the *right* way.

Ive always known he was very smart but with all this coming out so quickly after all this time I am just amazed.

Dakota has been using a lot of words the past few months but basically just repeating them. Off hand I cant think of a time that he has ever used a word to request something. I have been trying to give him things if he says the word in hopes he would connect that he can ask for things he wants but he didnt seem to be getting it. Today he came to me with a cup in his hand. He handed me the cup, looked me straight in the eye & said "drink, thirsty".  I have heard both words many times in the last week, they are on his Signing Time dvd that he has been watching & he has been repeating them each time. I have even heard him repeat the word drink when we say it, but he asked UNPROMPTED this time.

We ended up buying a few fireworks for the dc to enjoy at home. 2 of our neighbours were out setting fireworks off too & between the 3 families we had a very good show of our own. I think the dc actually had a better time than they would have going somewhere because they was with their friends. Dakota did great, he stayed in the living room watching a movie. Every once in a while he would peek out the window but for the most part he stayed where he couldnt see them. Dh & I took turns going in with him & he was fine. Much nicer than him flipping out last year over them.

There is always a solution. Sometimes we have to give something up but most times we have just as much or more fun with our alternative plan.

Dakota has always loved playing with little buildings & figurines. A few weeks ago I found a  Fisher Price Little People dollhouse at a garage sale. It came with a bunch of FP little people. It was only $4 for the whole set so I bought it for him, mostly for the little people that came with it. Tonite he was sooooo quiet, many times that is not a good sign so I went to check on him. He was sitting in his room with the house, a little people farmer, & 3 figurine sized Veggie Tales toys. He would "walk" each toy into the house, say "potty" & lift the toilet seat to sit them on it. After that he said "bath" & the toy went into the tub. When the bath was finished he then said "wash hands" & the toy went to the sink to wash up.  

We LOVE the Signing Time dvd's. When we bought them it was in hopes that he would learn to sign to communicate. He never did use the signs, though we discovered he did know them, but he LOVED watching the dvd's. We havent watched them for months, he had gone back to his Baby Bumblebee phase & was mostly watching them again. He came to me today, looked me straight in the eye like he does when he wants to be sure I understand that he is trying to communicate something to me & said "Signing Time". I asked him, do you want to watch Signing Time? He immediately RAN to the couch & settled down. When I started the dvd for him he sat on the couch & as each sign came up he would SAY the word BEFORE it was said on the dvd. He said every word on the dvd.  

Dakotas favorite part of the day is bedtime. I lay with him for a bit & just talk to him or let him "talk" to me. He likes the attention I think & there is no distracting noises around us or other dc needing attention. It is HIS time.  Last night he  had taken a toy to bed & was playing with it. Its one of his alphabet toys & it has pictures for each letter with the word under each one. its an old toy, I think it used to belong to my 8yo, & I havent looked closely at it for awhile. So he is laying there staring at it & spelling words outloud, I assumed the words that are on it since many of them were long words or words I was sure he didnt know. He spelled ALLIGATOR, ELEPHANT, UMBRELLA, VIOLIN & quite a few others. Each time he spelled a word he would look at me, say the word & then wait for me to say the word to show that I understood him. one of the words I didnt quite get a few of the letters for. He has an odd way of pronouncing the letters & some are hard to understand. I leaned over to look at the toy trying to figure out the word & suddenly realized that NONE of the words he had been spelling were on it. He spelled all those big words from memory & I had no idea where he learned them even. Today I realized where he had learned them, they are all on his Baby Bumblebee dvd's, well violin might not be but I know the rest are. That has to be it.

We got back the results of Dakotas blood work today. His allergy tests show that he is sensitive to 86 things.  Some of them are not really problems right now cuz we dont eat them & they arent common ingredients in any foods & some of them were very mild reactions so not too serious. The ones he tested the highest in though were citrus & cows milk & milk products. Soy was also a high reactor as well as chicken eggs, his FAVORITE food . He reacted to wheat too, not very badly but the Dr wants him completely off it for at least a month. Said sometimes if the gut is inflamed a person reacts to something they ate recently. Hoping thats all it was. So now I have to find a way to feed this incrediably picky child with no eggs, milk, wheat or soy?????? Those 4 ingredients are in EVERYTHING. 

he started out grumpy. Didnt want to get out of bed, didnt want to get in the car to go  to therapy, didnt want to get out of the car at therapy, didnt want to get out of the car at the store. The therapists did say he did really good for them so thats a good thing at least. Came home & he just basically moped around for awhile. I was tired by noon from trying to get him to cooperate. Around  2 or so he perked up finally. Started to play with his toys & run around. Writing in his notebook & just acting a bit more normal. Still wasnt quite himself but much better at least. 

We have had some seriously hot days. Sunday & Monday it made it up to 109.  We live in an area that might, maby, possibly hit 100 two or three times the entire summer. Usually not till early August so this is definitly differant for us. Unfortunetly Dakota & I do not do well in heat.  I hate that heat affects me so badly but Im glad too cuz it certainly helps me to understand him. He gets dehydrated very easily &  has to drink a LOT. We keep Poweraid on hand at all times in the summer. Our house is well shaded by trees so it stays surprisingly cool on hot days, but when it is 109 outside even a well insulated house is HOT. We have no air conditioning.  My poor boy  would LIVE outside if he could but the last few days he would not go past our back porch. It is nicely shaded & when a breeze hits it is tolerable so he took his notebook & pen & basically lived out there.  Sunday night he just looked like he was sooooooo miserable. We loaded up the dc & went for a drive in the air conditioned car & stopped at the nice air conditioned store. By the time we headed home he was acting like himself again. Thankfully today was cooler, *only* about 96. He still wasnt back to his normal self but definitly better. The rest of the week is supposed to be in the mid to high 80's so hopefully we will have much better days again.

I gave Dakota a notebook from my stash. Yes I am one of those moms who buys 3 or 4 CASES when they are on sale in Sept. (my rule of thumb is one case per child that is old enough to use them )  He sat for a long time writing in it. He is such a perfectionist, if he messed up a letter he had to start a whole new page.  I think he is about halfway done with the notebook already. He has pretty good handwriting for a 5yo, especially when you consider that he would not even try to copy a straight line until fairly recently

We needed a relaxing day.  We had to be gone for a little bit but mostly we just kindof relaxed at home. Dakota was perfectly happy to spalsh in the wading pool & play on the swingset. He is  a MUCH happier boy tonite. Even the hot weather didnt seem to bother him as much as it used to (it got to 101 today).

The dc loved Bible School but I got to admit it was a stressful week. It is hard to get 6 dc moving every night.  Im ready to just relax at home for a few days & unwind. Too much going just drains me of all energy & I dont really even realize how drained I feel until its over. I think Dakota will be glad for things to be back to normal again too. I wonder if he gets the same drained feeling that I do?  

Tonite he stayed home with Daddy & I think that was good for him. He had reached his limit of going too. When I came home I found a very tired, happy boy covered in strawberry juice. It appears he likes the strawberries I just bought.  He & Daddy had a nice quiet, relaxing evening together, the other dc had fun at Bible School & the baby & I got to just relax & spend some time with a friend for the evening.  It was a nice way for all of us to end the week.

at least for me, is not being able to do things because of it. It can be hard to feel like we are on the outside looking in. It makes it harder because it is an "invisable" disability. No one would think twice about us  saying we couldnt go hiking if our child was in a wheelchair but Autism & Sensory issues are invisable.

I have had people tell me that we need to force him to go places  so he can get used to the crowds & noise. Well he does go places with us, a lot of places. we have learned to know his limits & just how far we can push him without overload. He has  gotten better but the fact still remains that he will overload if pushed too far.

I have had people tell me that we are letting him control us because we will remove him from a situation that is making him overly stressed  out rather than making him stick it out.  Are we? I dont think so.

Sensory issues are just as real as visable physical issues. I deal with them myself. Mine are not nearly as strong as Dakotas but I know somewhat how it feels. I know the feeling of being in a loud room & trying to hear someone speaking but all I can hear is unidentifiable sounds. I know the feeling of flickering lights making me feel  totally on edge. I know the feeling of not being able to breathe in a crowded room. His issues are much worse than mine. I cannot force a child to be in  a situation for hours on end that will make him totally miserable. It would not be healthy for him.

Sometimes  I think Autism is a class totally & completely by itself. It seems that the only people that truely understand are those who have someone close to them that is also dealing with it. Most days it isnt too bad. We are comfortable with our life & of course would NEVER trade Dakota for anything. Every once in a while though something comes up that we would LOVE to be able to enjoy as a family but we cant. Those are the times I get sad.

Right now July 4th is coming up. The older dc would LOVE to go to the fireworks show but Dakota simply cannot handle it. Last year it scared him so bad that for months after if anyone even lit a match he would start screaming & trying to hide. Unless we can figure out an option that he can tollerate we wont be going as a family.  These are the things that make me the saddest.

Dh did not get home in time to keep him so Dakota went with us again. we got there & he walked up with T-12 & sat down with his class. I went & sat about 2 benches behind & to the side of him, close enough to grab him if need be. About a minute after sitting down he went for the piano & I managed to grab him just before he reached it. He got MAD & I took him outside. I was still so sore & tired from last night that I could not fight him, we just went to his classroom since it was still empty & I let him calm down in there. We went outside to the swingset & I pushed him for a loooongtime. 48 minutes in case you are wondering. Yes I did time it. While he was swinging he kept sounding out words so I started spelling words for him. I gave him a new one .. S-W-I-N-G. he thought that was cool & after I had spelled it a few times he started spelling it. Then he started spelling other words that he knows. After a while he headed toward the building & I called him back to get his shoes. he turned & looked at me & then continued walking. I said "Koda!! S-H-O-E" When I spelled it he turned around & came straight back for them . How funny. We went inside, I assumed to get a cookie, but he wandered over to the craft tables. My cousin was doing one of the crafts & her table had paper taped over it with writing on it so I went to look. She said she had been allowing the dc to sign their names when they came for crafts & asked if Dakota would like to draw. I handed him the marker & he started to write words. he wrote Bake, Shut, Wait, Tad, Tape, Pete, Hi, Big, Red, Dora, Boots. He did really well writing but got VERY upset if a letter didnt turn out right, He would scream & start the whole word over again. He did 4 D's before he was happy with one when he wrote Dora (though in my eyes they all looked about the same ). Dh walked in then to take him home & Dakota wanted to go out to the playground. He kept pulling on Daddys arm but dh wasnt getting what he wanted. I guess he didnt quite know how to express what he wanted cuz he started reciting a line from a book. "We are going to a picnic at play park" Apparently that was his way of saying Come on Dad, lets go outside to play . They went & played a bit & then dh took him home & I got to actually relax a bit while waiting for the other dc. I only got about 45 min without Dakota but it was a very refreshing 45 minutes. I can tackle another day now.

He did TERRIBLE. Nothing like Tue night. Crying, uncooperative, spinning, giggling at nothing. I had to carry him kicking & screaming out of the classroom, then out of the building & later off the playground cuz he was throwing rocks. By the time we got home I was exausted, sore & worn down. NOT one of his better nights.

I heard Dakota playing with the microwave so I walked over to stop him. He grabbed the door & pulled it open & inside was a bunch of his magnetic letters. All the letters to spell "Bake, Shut & Wait". His favorite dvd is Leap Frogs Code Word Caper  In the movie they spell complex words. At the end of the movie they have to use the 3 code words to open the re-voicerator. The code words are, yup you guessed it.... bake, shut & wait. They place them into a microwave looking machine & close the door & the letters spin around till it opens the machine. Apparently he was trying to see if we had a re-voicerator in our house.

Fortunetly the microwave happened to be unplugged so he wasnt able to turn it on with the letters inside. Im going to have to keep a close eye on him till he gets past this idea.

What is he going to think of next?????

While we was on the playground the older group of kids came out & were getting ready to start a game of baseball. While they were dividing up into teams Dakota ran into the middle of the group & grabbed the bat. he hadned the ball to the girl in charge & was trying to get her to throw it to him. She did & he swung at it. He missed & took the bat & was hitting  the ball on the ground like a golf ball.

He  is doing so well at Bible School. When we  got there he sat right beside his brother on the bench. He wanted the bandana on just like his brother & he made sure he got the little toy for being on time too. Once the music started he decided he did not want to be there, I think it was too loud, so we walked out to check out his classroom again before the dc got there. We walked around & looked at each thing. He especially liked the rock pit (sand box filled with pea gravel & toys ) & a little pan filled with sand & seashells. He kept repeating "sand, shell". We looked at the puppets & I showed him how to make their mouths move by putting a hand inside. I had picked up a cow & he looked at it a minute & then said "cow". he took it from my hand & stuck his hand into it & then said "cow, cow, cowboy!"  I asked him "Is Dakota a cowboy?" he looked at me & said "Cow, cow-oda"  We sat at the little table & just looked around & he seemed fine, till the dc got in there. I think the sudden noise explosion bothered him. He was trying to get away so we walked out to the playground for a bit.

Outside he calmed down right away & went to play. His 3yo brother decided he wasnt staying in class if Dakota wasnt & he followed us out there, followed almost immediately by my friend who had seen him escape.  He was really upset so I let him stay & play a bit too so he & Dakota started playing with a ball, rolling it down the slide. After about 40 minutes the class came out to the playground & Dakota played on the seesaw with one of the other dc. When the class went back in I took the boys in too. It was cookie time & I was tired. Im not above bribery on occasion.  

He LOVES cookies so when he saw that he got one if he sat down Dakota joined the other dc at the table. he got REALLY upset in a bit & I wasnt sure why, till I saw him lift his cup & try to stick his tongue inside it. He was thirsty & has a VERY hard time drinking from a regular cup. I went into the kitchen & got him a straw & he drank an entire cup of water in no time. After snack was playdough while teacher told a story. He LOVES playdough & was very happy to sit & play with it. I gave him a dolphin cookie cutter & he cut one out, held it up & said "whale"  I had no idea he knew what a whale was.

Here he is (in the blue shirt) with his 3yo brother playing with the playdough.

After a bit he got tired of the playdough & went to play in the rock pit. His brother followed him & then so did 2 other children. I wasnt sure if he would cooperate & let them play or not. I knew he would do fine with his brother cuz they play together all the time but strange children I wasnt sure about. Last night he had done ok so I was hoping. He did perfectly fine. He was playing with them & even sharing the toys.

Here they are at the rock pit. (I blacked out the other dc's faces as I did not have their parents permission to post them online)

Im so thankful for his wonderful teacher. Many of the teachers there would not have been willing to even try him in the class. She is just the neatest person & Im so glad she is teaching his class.

its just so neat to see that he is beginning to interact with other dc as well as he does with his siblings & cousins.

He was in his classroom at least 45 minutes tonite, compared to maaaaby 10 last night.

My dc went to Bible School tonite. I already knew who the teacher was for the preschool class; a dear, sweet lady who has been SUCH a blessing to me over the years. She is one of the very few people, outside of family, who I feel I can trust with Dakota.  My 3yo was already going to be in her class & they are sooooo similar developmentally so I had talked with her about trying Dakota in there. She was fine with it, as long as I stayed on the property in case she couldnt handle him.

He REFUSED to stay in the classroom. He & I ended up playing on the playground behind the church. For a bit I was very dissapointed & upset. I had so hoped that he could do ok in a group setting like that. I was feeling so tired of dealing with this "invisable disability". Just wanting my child to be "normal". I was sitting there watching him play & on the verge of tears when he turned towards me & gave me the most beautiful smile. Then he walked over & hugged me, ON HIS OWN. Its like he knew, like he was telling me to not worry over such silly things. We got a ball & played catch for awhile. We watched the birds & watched the big kids play ball on their break. We walked inside & got a cookie & then played some more. I watched him open up like petals on a flower. Throwing & catching a ball, laughing, just being a silly 5yo. For a few moments  I really dont think a bystander could have seen that he was "differant". After a bit we went back inside & this time he went into his classroom & joined a group of about 8 dc playing in a sand box. He sat & played with them, no overload, no fit, just happily playing. He plays like this with his siblings & cousins & close friends all the time so it wasnt really anything new & yet it was because these dc dont know him. They dont understand his little quirks & the things that set him off.

Most days I do ok. I love my son just the  way he is. Sure Id love for him to be a typical child but yet I cant imagine him being diferant than he is. He is just so precious & loving. he is such a blessing.

Today was Daddys birthday. I had made a cake & it was sitting on the washing machine cooling while I made dinner. Dakota kept coming to me wanting me to get him something but I could not figure out what. He would grab my hand & push it toward the knife block that is set out of his reach. Now WHY would he want a knife???  Awhile later I turned around to find him with chocolate covered fingers  trying to take a chunk out of the cake.    Of course... he wanted cake  You'd think I would have figured that out.

it is just so fun to see how his mind works. SIL picked up a toy for him at a garage sale today. we used to have one just like it but all the pieces got lost. Basically it is a small handheld desk with little letter tiles. There are 4 slots on the top that you can set them in to make 4 letter words & the letters on the tiles are slightly raised so you can feel them. We was sitting on the floor playing with it & he was making words. I got distracted for a bit & he was getting impatient. He took the tile & put it in my hand & said "M says mmmmmmm"  Of course it wasnt good enough for him to say it, *I* had to say it too. I started waiting a bit with each letter & he continued doing the same thing. He can now say all the names of the letters, before he called most of them by their sounds. I noticed that when spelling the words he was saying the letter before finding it so I usually knew what he was spelling ahead of time too. He also said "P-I-G....pig" & several other words in VERY clear language. He is so motivated to talk right now & I am taking full advantage of it. 

Just a bit ago I put his younger brother into the bath. Dakota ran in when he heard the water & immediately wanted into the tub. I told him "no its W's turn right now". He started to get mad at me & turned & went to his Dad & said "bath". Apparently he is starting to get to the point of thinking he can get his way by going to the other parent. A frustrating stage to be sure but one I have seen no signs of in him till now. I guess it shows he is progressing at least. Thats one thing about having a child with delays, even the frustrating stages are good things because they show a progression. I remember when he had his first real tantrum, not an Autistic fit but a real, honest to goodness, typical child type tantrum. Dh & I were just stunned. We turned & looked at each other & both said "hes throwing a real tantrum!!". Never would have thought that would make me excited.  But it was a sign that he was progressing developmentally. Of course we still had to teach him that tantrums were not ok but the fact that he had reached that point was a wonderful feeling.

Silly little stinker of a boy.  We took his letter board & letter cards along to therapy today & he just sat there & was being goofy. Didnt want to spell anything. Once we got home however he is right at my heels trying to spell words for me again. He pulled down the alphabet poster from the wall of his room & brought it to me. Each letter on it has a picture to go with it. He was pointing to the letters & then the picture. He wanted me to tell him the names of the pictures. Then he would repeat each name after me. He said "train, pig, snail & apple".   E is for Elephant & he just kindof gave me a funny look & didnt even try that one.  

Im so proud of him, he is trying to say so many things now & not that long ago he didnt say more than maby 10 words & none of them consistantly.

Last night my 12yo was riding his bike around the yard. Dakota started to chase the bike. Just running after him giggling. He ran like that for probably about 15 minutes. I have never seen him do anything like that before. It was just the silliest thing.

need I say more???

There are days when you know first thing that maby you should just go back to bed & start over.  

Yesterday was one of those days. All dc woke up whiny. Rush out the door to get to Dakotas therapy & the car wouldnt start.  3yo had several potty accidents. Neighbour boy hit my 12yo. Dakota spent most of the day  being VERY demanding, uncooperative & extremely hyper. The icing on the cake though was when he would not sleep last night. He was wide awake till 12:30, slept very restlessly till 2:30 & then was WIDE awake till 8. I basically cant sleep at all when hes awake so Im tired today. He is too, he was back up at 9.

I found the culpret though. He cant handle apples, they make him VERY VERY hyper & he dosnt sleep if he has them. Apple juice is much worse. I had bought some juice boxes the other day since we was planning to have a picnic with our Homeschool group on Wed. I let the dc have them with lunch since we wasnt able to go. Dakota had one later in the evening too & I hadnt really thought much of it. I had made sure they was 100% juice when I bought them & I got a non-apple flavor. But I neglected to check the ingredients. Apple juice was still an ingredient.  Two little juice boxes plus one mommy who forgets to check the label equals a sleepless night.  Guess that was my lesson for the day, check ALL labels everytime.

The hyperness seems to be wearing off at least. He is sitting on the bed playing with a toy at the moment. Maby we will have a nice relaxing day today. I sure hope so cuz tomorrow is a busy day for us.

Eyes shining, face turned toward the sky, giggling as he soars thru the air on the swing.

Jumping, splashing in the wading pool. Throwing a ball into the air & laughing when it splashes down in the water.

Pulling my hand to show me something he wants.

Looking at his favorite books & having me read them over & over again.

Digging in the dirt with a look of pure joy on his face.

"Asking" for rides in the car & then total joy as the wind blows thru the open window into his face.

Loving music.

"Asking" for his favorite movie over & over.

Spelling words  with Mommy or Daddy.

Splashing in the tub.

Fascination on his face as sand runs thru his fingers.

Wearing his favorite hats, especially in BRIGHT, BRIGHT colors.

Giggling as he jumps on his bed (no, he really isnt supposed to )

Snuggling down beside me to watch tv when he is tired.

Rubbing noses (his version of a kiss  )

Stopping what he is doing to run up & give me a hug.

The way he looks deep into my eyes when he wants me to understand something.

This is my son. He is beautiful, happy, loving & unique. he has brown hair, brown eyes, an adorable smile & oh yes, he has Autism.

today was our towns annual parade. the dc wanted to go soooooooo badly but dh was working & I wasnt positive if Dakota could handle the crowds & noise. But we packed snacks, toys, blankets & books & left home early. I got a parking spot along the parade route where I could back the van in & watch from the back of it but still get out if we needed to leave. I sat there with Dakota & the baby while the other dc sat in chairs on the sidewalk about 5 feet in front of me. he did really good. Started to overload once but he crawled up into his carseat & sat for a few minutes & then was fine again. I am so glad to see that he is starting to be able to help himself calm down in situations like that. A year ago he would have gone nuts, screaming & crying & totally flipping out. I was very impressed with how well he did. Im glad I decided to try it.

I wrote out the alphabet on a piece of paper & showed Dakota that he can spell words by touching each letter till a word is spelled & then I say the word aloud. He thinks it is the coolest game ever. He was sitting here with me tonite spelling words. He started doing some other than his usual ones & I realized he was copying them from a book laying beside us. He did a word that I wasnt sure of, had lost track of a letter in the middle. When I paused a minute to think he got an annoyed look on his face like I was being too slow & looked at me & said "tomato!!". 

I am so thankful to my friend for suggesting a letter board to me. He is spelling so many things with it & I am just amazed. Maby he will use it to start communicating with us?

yesterday Dakota was up really early. At least he didnt go wander the house though, he sat on the end of my bed & turned on the tv & played with his word cards.  Kindof odd for me though as I usually am wide awake as soon as I hear him stirring & that didnt happen this time, I must have been really tired.  

Little stinker was watching Food Network when I woke up.  Funny thing is that he actually does LOVE watching Food Network. His favorite is Iron Chef. Anytime its on he plops down to watch.  

Of course with getting up early he slept some during the day & then was up till 1 am last night. I simply cannot sleep if he is awake, even if he is safe & I am super tired I still never do more than lightly doze for a few minutes here & there, so I was awake too.  

I hope tonite is better.

Dakota has had some "off" days. I thought first it was allergies because he went from doing really well to just being "off" in a matter of minutes after going to certain places. I am very sensitive to some cleaning products & perfumes & such & have had the same thing happen to me on occasion. But then the weather went from being very nice to very cold & wet again & he has been having terrible days. Into EVERYTHING, not sleeping as well,crying & whining much more, still talking but not as much. Maby its the weather?? I dont know, Id sure like my happy boy back though.

Dakotas Dr had ordered some blood work so dh took him into the lab at the hospital to have it drawn yesterday. When they got there & was walking up the steps to the door Dakota looked at the building & said "baby, baby!!". The last time he was at the hospital was 8 months ago when his baby brother was born.  Obviously he has a good memory.

Some days are hard. I get people telling me how strong & together I am but in reality there are  days I do not feel like I am. There are days I am just tired. Tired of Autism, tired of not even being able to go to the bathroom without making sure someone is right with Dakota, tired of trying to guess what he wants or what he is trying to say. Some days I feel like there needs to be 3 of me just to keep up with all he does. Some days I think I may cry if I find him playing in the flour bin or trying to float boats in the toilet one more time. I get tired from trying to deal with the abilities of a 5yo & the safety sense of an 18 month old.

I hate the food sensitivities, I hate that if he eats the wrong thing he gets a rash that makes him miserable, or winds up so hyper he is practically bouncing off the walls, or giggles uncontrolably, or dosnt sleep at night.

Some days are just hard. I am NOT supermom, I wish I was but Im not. I rely on strength from God to make it thru.

You know though, this is good. If life was all sunshine & roses it would be nice for awhile but what would build our character? If nothing was hard why would we need the extra strength that only God can give? Sometimes we need to be stretched so we can grow.

My Dakota is one of the biggest blessings in my life.  He is loving, sweet, innocent, trusting. He loves to snuggle. He loves books, veggietales, colors & letters. He loves being outdoors & mud puddles, swings & sandboxes. He loves trucks & going for drives. He loves his family. He is precious & unique in so many ways & there would be such an empty spot in our lives without him. Someone once told me "God gives special kids to special parents for a special reason". Some days I cant imagine WHY He chose us to have Dakota, but Im sooooooo glad He did.

probably wouldnt even bother if I thought Id remember anything by morning.

One new word today... "boat".

Ate a few bites of Salmon patty, he never got past tasting with the tip of his tongue before.

Took vitamins without spitting them out!

Was doing summersalts, well tumbling, rolls, whatever you want to call it .

Kindof a hodgepodge today, not sure what to title it.

Dakota was watching a preschool show. It was playing a song about parts of the body. He kept saying "toes" until they finally showed toes.  He was also repeating each body part name when it was said. During the song he said "legs, arms, hand, foot, fingers & toes"

Spelling words again. He tried to spell watermelon but only had one of each letter so he wrote WATERMLON. He did that with another word too though I dont remember now which it was. Interesting to watch him. He went thru all the letters then sat & stared at the word a bit like he was trying to figure out what to do, then he just moved on to the next letter.

My 12yo was playing with the cards with him & asked "where is the C?", Dakota looked at him a second then dug thru the cards till he found both C's (I made him a 2nd set today so he would have doubles) & handed them both to him with a very proud look on his face.

Daddy grilled some beef tonite. Dakota almost never eats meat in any form. Tonite he ate an entire serving of meat & half a baked potato! Daddy said that is the ultimate compliment if Dakota will eat it.

he shocks me again. Sitting on the floor with his letters spelling words. Nothing new right? WRONG! Not simple 3 letter words this time, nope, words like yellow, orange & grapes . His favorite book has pictures in it with words under the pictures. He has it laying beside him. He picks it up & looks thru it then closes the book & lays it back down & spells the word. He is getting the words from the book but not actually copying them. Just looking at them & then spelling it from memory.  I wonder what else he is capable of that I dont know about???

I made Dakota some letter cards, he has been playing with them all afternoon. Picking them up & saying the sounds or bringing them to me to say the sounds & the names. For a long time we sat on the floor with the cards. He would hand me one & wait for me to tell him the name & the sound, then he would very carefully put it in the perfect spot & pick up the next one. He was spelling real words!! I know most of them were from the DVD that he had watched earlier but still. He did spell DAD which is not on the DVD & he also added an S to CAT. In at least 45 minutes everything he spelled was real words. Not one nonsense word in the bunch. At one point he lined up all the vowels & went thru making each sound. Once dh was talking to me & I took too long to answer him so he just said the name & sound of the letter himself. 

He was just standing here watching me type & staring at the keyboard. All of a sudden he pointed to the letters C-A-T & said  "Kkk-aaa-ttt, cat!!!"   He is so smart. Of course Im not biased at all.