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I'm going to try to keep this update short. It has been a long day of dealing with kids and cramps. Due to not feeling well, I didn't get much of anything other than crochet done today. I'm feeling rather discouraged with my self for that. I'm really hoping that I feel better tomorrow so that I can get some stuff done.

I just had to get up from typing this because I heard Knight #2 in his room screaming, "Dad! Dad!" Thankfully this was a pretty mild episode. He calmed down pretty much right away. I pray that this is the only one he has tonight.

I have only 4 days left of this fast. Now I'm beginning to understand why some people regret to see it ending. And yet, it seems to be getting harder because I know the time is short. The cravings seem to be getting more intense again. Please pray that I will continue to have the strength to resist.

I'm going to skip talking about my lesson today because I have a migraine coming on. I plan to take my Rx before going to bed. I'm still sitting at 168. I'm confident that that is not where I will stay for ever though.

I'm tired, so very tired.  I was reading my friends blog when I realized why I was so tired lately, I've been wanting to have the 'perfect' holiday, and I'm pushing myself too hard to trying to make it happen.  I have all my shopping done, gifts wrapped and under the tree, some baking done, and 2 more parties and Christmas Eve with friends to get through.  But here's the thing, I might be ahead of the game, I might look like I have it all done, but I've exhausted myself in the process.    I'm tired, I keep feeling like I'm getting a cold, all weekend, but haven't been able to rest because of our schedule.  Today was cleaning day, did I put it off, actually skip it for a week to rest?    Heavens no, not me, not Miss scheduled perfectionist.    Nope I pushed my way through it, then when I was sitting letting Paulie read to me, I almost feel asleep while he was reading.  I had to stop him 5 minutes early, so I could lay down and nap.  I only got a 30 minute nap in, then Sarah came home from her bible study and the dryer went off.  So I had to get up and take care of laundry and now I'm awake, but still tired.  Just got off the phone with hubby, he even said it sounded like something was wrong with me.  He called to make sure I was ok.  Yep, the tiredness is showing through.  So I might have started out pushing myself to have the 'perfect' Christmas.  To make sure I had the best gifts and snacks for parties, to make sure all my shopping was done early, and everything looks great.  But I think it's taken it's toll, and now all I'm praying for is that I stay healthy until after Christmas.  Today is a bit busy, our homeschool party.  But then I have nothing until Friday.  Paul said I need to unplug, do nothing all week, just relax.  I think I'll take his advice.  I'm thankful the kids do most of their schooling by themselves, and they'll be finished by Wednesday or Thursday anyway.  But I'm bummed that I've pushed myself so hard for others, that I have no energy or desire to bake cookies for my own family this week.  Thankfully we do have cookies from a cookie exchange I went to on Saturday, but I want to bake for them myself.  But I can't stress about it, I need to let it go.  Hubby is fine if I don't bake any, but I'm going to try with all my might to rest as much as I can this week so that next week, when we have no school, I can relax, have fun with the kids and bake for my family.  Why I stressed myself out so much and pushed myself so hard on everything else, I'll never know.  Well I do know, because it's how I feel 'loved'.  It's how I feel others accept me, if I'm involved, and doing, doing, doing.  I need to stop thinking that, and realize others love me without me 'doing' all the time.  I need to realize a messy, not perfect life is just fine.

Anyway, thanks for reading my rambling.  Just needed to get it out.  I will try next time to have a more happy and joyful entry. 

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I just read my mentor's note from earlier today. She pointed out that I was at 168 yesterday and now I'm saying that I'm at 178. Ack! I sure hope not!  I'm actually at 168! I'm guessing that I spent so much time at 178 that my mind is having a hard time adjusting. LOL

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I'm feeling so much better today! I hit my netti pot before I went to bed last night and again earlier today. Man, I should have taken my friend's advice and done that much earlier! Amazing how much it helps!

I stayed home from church anyway because I didn't want to be spreading this crud anymore than it is already spreading like wildfire around these parts.

Had a really tough night. Hubby was gone to "Fight Night". A bunch of the guys from church like to get together for the UFC fights. It's a chance for them to have some guy time and just be MEN. I think that is great! My problem here was that Knight #2 was having night terror episodes. Three of them to be exact. My poor little guy cries uncontrollably and also shakes uncontrollably. He kept looking at something I couldn't see and seemed terrified by it. I prayed with him, held him, cuddled him and did all I could to comfort and calm him. I finally ended up leaving the hall light on and his bedroom door open. That seemed to help. He didn't have any more episodes after that.

I'm convinced that the reason he's having these agian is because he has so little medication in his system. Nothing to help him slow those non-stop thoughts of his and help to calm him. His racing thoughts follow him into his dreams. He started the 2 mg dosing today so hopefully we will start to see an improvement not only in what we deal with during the day but also at night. He layed down in his room and slept for quite a while this afternoon. Sure wish I could have done the same!

It is getting easier to ignore my growling stomach. Not that I don't still crave food. I think that is just something that goes with the territory. If it didn't then there would be very little good reason for fasting. It's how I handle that craving that is important. Wow! That's cool! That line of thought just occured to me! That is so encouraging!

Today my lesson was about having the sheild of faith. This was yet another really good lesson. Faith is a gift from God. Faith also comes by hearing. I love what Mike Clevland (Setting Captives Free founder) says, "The important thing to understand is that "faith comes by hearing," not by what we heard. We must ongoingly "hear" the gospel, biblical truths, etc. in order to ongoingly exercise faith. This is the importance of feasting on God’s Word as often as possible, because faith is created in us fresh by hearing (listening to, reading, etc.) God’s Word."

Matthew Henry says, "The beginning, progress, and strength of faith is by hearing. But it is only hearing the word, as the word of God that will strengthen faith."

Ephes. 6:16
In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;

Allow me to share one of the flaming darts that Satan tried to hit me with last night: The thought jumped into my head, "I want some freedom to eat what I want!" Then I quickly realized what was going on and told myself, "No you don't! That's not real freedom!" These arrows could easily bring me right back to where I was before starting TLT and worse. Praise God for the shield of faith to fight those arrows with!

I'm still at 178 today and I'm ok with that.

www.homeschoolblogger.com/earthenvessel/

I'm sitting here with a horrible sinus headache and a growling tummy. I've been feeling pretty miserable all day. It hasn't been a bad day though.

My hubby left early this morning to go help his dad with setting up his stereo. Then he had to go to their work place and help clean up a flood! The pipes in the bathroom had burst leaving about 2 inches of water throughout the shop. After the water was cleared out he had to replace the pipes. Poor thing! He was gone till around 4:30 or 5:00 this evening.

Today in my lesson I studied about how Jesus was tempted and how He overcame those temptations. I enjoyed this lesson today. First Jesus was tempted to doubt the provision of His Father by making bread for Himself, thereby becoming independant of God. It is always a sin to be independant from God.

Next He was tempted to put God to the test by presuming that God would rescue Him if He jumped from the top of the temple. Satan used scripture to try to lie to Jesus. Not that scripture can ever lie, but satan used it out of context and twisted the meaning. Jesus response that "you should never put God to the test" should also be our answer when we are tempted in this way. Satan will even use scripture to try to talk us into sinning.

The last temptation was an attempt by the evil one to get Jesus to worship him. It was pointed out that behind all idol worship there is a demon. Therefore, any idol worship is worship of the evil one.

Interspersed in each lesson are comments by other people who have gone through this fast before. I was convicted by what Carla wrote in answer to question 6:

When we are tempted to overeat or to be lazy and not exercise, or to break our fasts, what lies does the devil place in our minds? What lies have you believed only to discover later that they were indeed lies?

Carla writes, "That I am too tired, to busy, the only one that I hardly ever believe is that I am too lazy! The Lord has been gracious to show this lazy me to myself and I am getting victory over it--with his help. Giving into ourselves is a form of worship--the worship of self--it is funny to me that on both sides of the scale is self-worship. If I do not work out or if I work out too much I am worshiping myself. Only when I stay focused on the Lord and keep my life in balance do I worship him and bring him glory."

Wow!! Giving in to myself is a form of worship?? The worship of self?? This rings only too true in my spirit.

1 Cor. 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

I'm down yet another pound to 168! Praise God!!

Oh, I was also convicted by what Rose wrote, "I am experiencing an extreme victory in these days. I am memorizing God's word on a daily basis, so that I can stand up to the enemy when necessary. God is giving me strength to battle the sin of overeating. GLORY TO HIM ALONE!"

I realized that I had been neglecting to memorize my verses. So I pulled out the verse I'm supposed to be learning for this fast. Let's see if I can type it without having to look at it at all.

Colossians 1:10
"So as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work, and growing in the knoweldge of God."

Awww, I got one word wrong! It should read "and increasing in the knowledge of God." Guess I still need work on it!