Susan's Life After Homeschooling
Aug. 17, 2008
I’m glad that’s over…

Posted in Teenagers

I’m glad that’s over…

1.    Late nights with Michael Phelps
2.    The interviews with Rick Warren, McCain and Obama –and the analysis.

Today was a day of honoring two of our young men who are well on their way to becoming sober young men of Biblical proportions. 

I’ve told you about Christian before.  He left today for his mission school and then off to Thailand.  The elders did a prayer of commissioning for him in the morning service and the congregation took up a generous offering. 

For lunch we celebrated Bo’s graduation from home school and a farewell as he leaves for Prairie Bible College in Canada.

I first met Bo on the other side of the counter at pizza lunch at Temple.  A young man who had a personality that said “Will charm for food.”  He loved pizza but his single mom never signed him up for it.  He was always oozing with charm whenever he’d step up to the counter… from the way he would greet me, to the way he would come up with some hard luck story to try and weaken my resolve (I wasn’t buying the “My mother never feeds me” story).

It was a long time before I realized that I had known his dad.  Bo was too young to remember him.  He died in a farming accident when Bo was just a few months old.  Life has not always been kind to Bo.  But, he loves the Lord and is trying to find his way to knowing Him more.

He wasn’t supposed to go to Bible school.  He was heading to college up north instead.  Just before he left for a recent canoe trip (which is quite a God story in itself) he announced to his mom that he had changed his mind.  He would not be going to school. 

She was furious with him, but he would not be there to discuss it.  While he was gone, another canoeist kept bugging him about the Wilderness program at Prairie.   Bo kept putting the girl off, but she kept persisting.  Once he got home, he looked into it and will be off on Thursday, much to mom’s relief. 

…let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation. 1 Thess 5:6

Bo and Christian are off to a good start and I’m excited for them.

I forgot to mention that my mother-in-law turned 87 on Wednesday and I think she might even weigh her weight now.  She gained 4 pounds at her last checkup.  She’s hoping for enough improvement so she can release all the help that Cindy has hired to help with her care.  That isn’t going to happen, but don’t tell.

Meanwhile, Cindy’s 45 year old brother died Wednesday of cancer.  He was a man who never learned how to be sober.  He was only 5 when his mother died of the same disease.  When his dad remarried, he felt lost and did some foolish things to dull the pain and loss that he felt. 

But, it’s how you finish that counts.  Since he’s been in hospice, Cindy has spent hours with him and they had some great talks.  She explained to him all about God’s love and heaven and who would be three waiting for him.  When death came he was at peace and had put all his trust in God.  He’s in heaven now getting to know his mom.  How exciting for both of them…  


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Aug. 4, 2008
On Becoming a Sober Young Man

Posted in Teenagers

On Becoming a Sober Young Man

I want to tell you about Christian Jacobs.  He’s a 17 year old young man who was home schooled by his parents. 

He decided to finish high school in three years so he could move on to other things.  It wasn’t clear what those other things would be, he just knew that he wanted to move on.

When he was much younger he was given the responsibility to learn how to run the sound board at church.  He was there when we replaced the overhead for more modern technology.  He learned to operate it.  There’s a video feed that goes into the cry room and he knows about that, too.

He has been the webmaster for the church website.  He’s traveled on mission trips to Ireland and Guatemala. 

He’s been involved with TeenPact “a comprehensive leadership experience that brings kids closer to Jesus Christ, makes them better leaders, and positions them to impact public policy in their state. During TeenPact, students meet important officials, interact with other like-minded students, and have more fun at the capitol than they could have ever imagined. Students leave inspired and challenged with an intensive desire to change America for Christ.”   www.teenpact.com/

On Wednesday nights he and his dad volunteer at a youth drop-in center at the Nazarene church in Fairfield.  All the while, God had a plan.

It has been Christian’s obsession to head to Thailand and help some missionary friends.  Last week, he was accepted to go and help create some audio/visual presentations to help with the work there. 

He must first take the Luke 10 Challenge.  “Each year Luke 10 begins with training two weeks before Labor Day (always the first Monday in September), followed by 3-9 months overseas. The two-week training in Seattle is designed to cover such topics as: cross-cultural training, discipleship, interpersonal skills, and personal ministry skills.”  www.mup.org/luke10

God is giving Christian a heart for the lost world.  He is calling up Christian’s skills, cross cultural experiences, and service for a specific purpose.  I am very excited for Christian and the growth that we are seeing in his life.  I think this is who God had in mind when he asked Paul to write to Titus these words…

Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,   sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you. Titus 2:6-8


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Aug. 2, 2008
Skills For Young People

Posted in Teenagers

 
I don't know where I picked up this list, but it's a great one for young people who want to live soberly.  It's a goal every caring parent should strive to enable their children to achieve.  I don't have time now, but the Bible has lots to say on each of these issues.  This is God's plan...                                   

Skills Young People Should Know Before They Leave Home

Auto maintenance and simple auto repair 

Nutritional needs of humans and menu planning

How to budget money

Investment strategies and different views of personal finances.

Retirement planning

Bible teaching on these subjects 

How to determine one’s vocation and what they are best equipped to do

Human development, child development, parenting 

Lawn maintenance, landscaping, gardening

How to shop wisely for food, clothing, housing, transportation 

Basic survival skills

Sexuality 

Basic lifesaving and first aid

How to drive a car 

How to interview for a job

How to take advice and seek counsel; how discern wise counsel from foolish 

How to sew

How to care for animals or have a pet 

How to learn from and treat people who are different

How to have a relationship with Jesus Christ 

How to find answers to life’s problems and questions in the Bible

How to research issues (using libraries and other resources) 

How to cook

How to clean and maintain a household

Personal grooming and hygiene 

How to dress appropriately; hair, makeup

How to study and learn

How to plan a vacation or trip 

How to hire someone for a job

Conflict resolution

How to choose friends wisely 

How to be a good friend 

How to lead someone to Christ

Linda Babb – Norman, OK


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Aug. 1, 2008
Youthful Sobriety

Posted in Teenagers

Youthful Sobriety

The Amish have a saying that I think deserves to be pondered in the light of the Scriptures.

A child is a liability to his parents for the first 7 years of his life.

For the next 7 years, that child should be able to hold his own.

For the last 7 years, he should be productive enough to repay his parents for the first 7 years of their labor of him.

How does this line up in light of God's Word?

A child is a liability to his parents for the first 7 years of his life.

For the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. 2 Cor 12:14-15

Now I say that the heir, as long as he is a child, does not differ at all from a slave, though he is master of all, but is under guardians and stewards until the time appointed by the father.  Gal 4:1-2

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Col 3:21

Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. 1 Tim 3:12

For the next 7 years, that child should be able to hold his own. (intentionally launching into adulthood)

the child Samuel grew in stature, and in favor both with the LORD and men. 1 Sam 2:26

And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. Luke 2:52

So the child grew and became strong in spirit, and was in the deserts till the day of his manifestation to Israel. Luke 1:80

So the woman bore a son and called his name Samson; and the child grew, and the LORD blessed him. And the Spirit of the LORD began to move upon him Judg 13:24-25

So Samuel grew, and the LORD was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground.   1 Sam 3:19

But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself. 9Now God had brought Daniel into the favor and goodwill of the chief of the eunuchs.  Dan 1:8-9

And Saul said to David, "You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him; for you are a youth, and he a man of war from his youth."

But David said to Saul, "Your servant used to keep his father's sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it.

Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God."

Moreover David said, "The LORD, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine."

And Saul said to David, "Go, and the LORD be with you!" 1 Sam 17:33-37

And Mordecai had brought up Hadassah, that is, Esther, his uncle's daughter, for she had neither father nor mother. The young woman was lovely and beautiful. When her father and mother died, Mordecai took her as his own daughter. Est 2:7

Esther also was taken to the king's palace, into the care of Hegai the custodian of the women. Now the young woman pleased him, and she obtained his favor; Est 2:8-9

For the last 7 years, he should be productive enough to repay his parents for the first 7 years of their labor of him.

It is good for a man to bear the yoke in his youth. Lam 3:27

Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, Before the difficult days come,

And the years draw near when you say, "I have no pleasure in them": Eccl 12:1

The glory of young men is their strength, Prov 20:2

I have written to you, young men, Because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, And you have overcome the wicked one. 1 John 2:14

Brethren, do not be children in understanding; however, in evil be babes, but in understanding be mature. 1 Cor 14:20

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 1 Cor 13:11

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Tim 4:12-13

Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Tim 2:22

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.  Matt 5:16-17

The new book Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris addresses what they call The Myth of Adolescence.  “The teen years are not a vacation from responsibility.  They are the training ground of future leaders who dare to be responsible now.”  I think that’s what the Amish proverb is trying to say.

Mark Bauerlein, a professor of English at Emory University, has also taken notice and has written about it in his new book called The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes our Future. 

Christian Smith, professor of sociology at Notre Dame, wrote in the most recent Books and Culture a review of six books that deal with the new phenomenon of “adultolescence”—the postponement of adulthood into the thirties and John Piper responds by relating this phenomenon to the church.

I think the Amish/Scriptures are on to something…  to be continued.


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Jun. 11, 2008
Schylar’s 13th Birthday Day

Posted in Teenagers

Schylar’s 13th Birthday Day

Our oldest grandchild is 13 today.  So, what does that mean really?

Hear this from the entomology of the word teenager…

teenage Look up teenage at Dictionary.com

1921, formed from -teen as a separate word + age; derived noun teenager is from 1941 (the earlier word for this was teener, attested in Anmer.Eng. from 1894). Teen-aged (adj.) is from 1952; shortened form teen is from 1951 (though this had been used as a noun to mean "teen-aged person" in 1818). Teeny-bopper is recorded from 1966, from teen but also felt as infl. by teeny. For second element, see bop.

 

What do you think of when you hear the word teenager… or when you read that Schylar is now one?  Are they positive thoughts?  Does foolishness come to mind?

I went online to see if I could find some funny quotes about teenagers, but I found total disrespect for them there.  I found a world that has very low expectations for our youth.  There were no funny quotes and I found no quotes that applied to my grandson. 

You see, we haven’t always had teenagers.  In fact they are a recent phenomenon.  For thousands of years we didn’t even know what they were, but we are now living in the third generation of teenagers.  Whose idea was that?

Look what Public Television has to say about this history in light of a 2005 documentary done by the University of Maryland.

Indeed, ever since the word "teenager" first came into popular use around the time of World War II, the group has been linked to "buying power and influence," a heady combination that promised big business to postwar movie makers, cosmetic firms, clothes manufacturers, and even grocery stores.

 At the time, the change was revolutionary, only a decade or so earlier, most teenage children had worked for a living. In fact some had been required to pay back the debts they had incurred in childhood before they were free to leave the family home!

How did the American teenager go from that prewar position to this one: where retail chains, like Urban Outfitters and the Gap, vie for their business; magazine publishers offer Seventeen, Sassy, YM, and Teen (among others); and television networks like MTV, the WB, and Fox, program with their demographics in mind.

Newspapers, from the Staten Island Advance to the Sante Fe New Mexican, feature weekly sections devoted to teenage issues that range from roller-blading to body-piercing, from prom clothes to mosh pits, to whats hot and whats not. Documentary and feature films showcased at the 2003 Sundance Film Festival portray this new generation of disaffected teenagers, drug-addled, lying, cheating, stealing, and flunking out of school. What happened?

I’ll tell you what happened.  Christian parents forgot to read their Bible and some who were reading it neglected to apply or teach the things they read there.  Many of these parents are heartbroken and asking themselves “What happened?” Sadly, we are raising a generation “which knew not the Lord nor the works which He had had done…” Judges 2:10

A child turning 13 is not the time when parents can afford to fold, give up or give in.  Our youth need strong leadership during these crucial years. 

Take a moment to think about what our world considers to be “normal” teenage behavior and activity – then compare it to what the Scriptures say our youth are to give their lives to.

Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,   sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.  Titus 2:6-8

Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. 2 Tim 1:13-14

You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. 2 Tim 2:1-5

Do all things without complaining and disputing,  that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, Phil 2:14-16

approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Phil 1:10-11

We called Schylar early this morning.  He was thrilled to hear so many voices singing the Birthday song in his honor.  He was especially excited to hear from Justin, Kaleb and Isaac.  His mom and dad surprised him with an over night camping trip and they were just heading out the door when we called.  They’ll have a great time.  The boys on this end were hoping it was a camping trip to Maine, but with gas prices being what they are – I knew better.

The boys helped me do lawns this morning.  They love to work and it takes some imagination sometimes to find enough jobs for them. 

Crysten came over around noon and we headed to the tennis courts to meet Kathy and Toni.  The kids ate their sandwiches there.  The boys like to play and the little girls like the playground.  Rachel and Carrie have no trouble meeting new friends there.

Tonight was the final meeting for Kids 4 Truth until the fall.  Everyone enjoyed some ice cream.  Carrie is staying overnight with Aunt Kathy; Crysten is having a farewell dinner at the Japanese restaurant; Nicole is half way through her first week of being camp counselor at teen camp; and Randy is lonesome and suffocating in the heat of North Carolina.  Bob’s on his way to bed and that sounds good to me, too.


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Jun. 9, 2008
Finished School? What Now?

Posted in Teenagers

Finished School?  What Now?

The other day Crysten realized that it will be 10 years next year since she was in high school.  We thought of planning a class reunion, but …

In some ways it’s been a long ten years for her.  I was reminded of that a while back when I read an article written by a similar young lady from Wisconsin.  Like Crysten she, too, has been bombarded with questions like “Well, you can’t live at home forever, so what are you going to do with your life?”  “So, are you going to college?”

Most people who ask are well meaning, of course, but some are also disapproving at times.  Like Crysten, Jenny didn’t want to be locked into a career that would limit her ability to be a full-time wife and mother.  It’s been hard for both of them to find the right words to express why they don’t want to attend college.  They feel the pressure from friends, family, and others to pursue a profession… even 10 years later.  College and career are marks of success in our culture, but it is not always fulfilling (or cheap).

What IS always fulfilling is doing the will of God – instead of blindly conforming to the world’s expectations.  Jenny had to wait (sometimes impatiently) for quite a while before she knew what God was asking of her.  It was not college, or moving out of her parent’s home, or a full-time career.  She has become an entrepreneur working with flowers, children, and music.  She has been blessed with no debt, no rent, very few business expenses, and a growing income.

Crysten is trying to be wise about how she lives in her singleness; Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Eph 5:15-18 trying to avoid self-centeredness; trying to see singleness not as a “cross to bear”, but a time to serve diligently, deliberately and undistracted.  She doesn’t want her life to be on hold. 

After years of per diem work at Colby College as a caterer, Crysten is now an entrepreneur, too.  Her Curves business (partnering with her Aunt Kathy and Uncle Kevin) has opened up many doors of ministry to women.  Besides that, she makes herself available to continue as an occasional mother’s helper to her sisters and moms in our church.  She serves overseas when she can, and has even traveled to help her mom friends when they have needed her. 

She’s there for me when I need her, whether it’s running to the bank or watching over me when I’m sick (the ministry of helps for me and others).  She’s a helper for Kids 4 Truth at church, and occasionally sings for the worship team. She sends care packages to our church youth, cousins, and missionaries who are away from home. 

She enjoys the ministry of hospitality… not just social events, but at times there have been Bible studies in her home and cooking for others who need a meal.  As God has prospered her, she also ministers with her finances.  …he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. Prov 11:25

So what if the bend in the road that God has asked her to travel doesn’t look like the one our culture thinks young women should take?  And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, Col 3:23  Keep doing God’s work, Hun

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May. 23, 2008
What God hath joined...a love story

Posted in Teenagers

What God hath joined together…

Today I am including the love story of a young lady that has come in and out of our lives a couple of times.  This is a story that represents the model expressed in the Bible on several levels.  It shows the proper relationship of a daughter towards the authority and counsel of her dad; and illustrates how a father is a safety net for his family; a teaching mother who cared to journal aspects of the story for the edification of the couple at a later time; the three generations principle of leadership and example (referred to many times in Scripture); and a God who honors and blesses those who follow the principles of His Word.  I have included only excerpts of the story and have hidden identities since I didn’t ask permission to reprint this.  I hope you will be blessed by this.   There should be nothing extraordinary about this story, but sadly, this is not the case. 

My Dear Friends,
I don't even know where to begin. This Christmas is by far the best one I have ever had!....let me tell you my story! Two years ago on December 3rd my family and I met the H family. It was not until the following September that we started getting to know this family more closely. I knew that J (the oldest of the H children) was working as a campaign manager for several local political candidates here in the state of Maine. My dad and I asked him what I might be able to do to get involved.
I began to struggle with a growing attraction to J. Over the past year our two families have grown very close and have spent a great deal of time together playing volleyball, riding the jet ski, playing vintage baseball and doing our favorite thing--sitting around the living room singing. J had become a great friend, but could never be anything more to me because I had committed my heart to my dad and the Lord until the Lord gave me permission to share it with someone else.

I grew to admire J a GREAT deal and would frequently go to my parents to "unload" and tell them how I was doing! My parents would always listen and encourage me to keep my eyes focused on Christ and the things that He had for me right then. It has been an amazing process as the Lord has been teaching me to rely on Him for my sufficiency. Little did I know that while they were encouraging me to guard my heart and leave it in the Lord's hands, J was already pursuing me! On April 12th J went to my dad and asked for permission to court me. Over the past eight months my dad and J have been meeting once a week and talking on the phone as they have gotten to know each other, and have come to love each other as father and son. During this whole time they were praying that God would put a veil over my eyes and keep me from knowing what was going on, in case this was not of the Lord.

Dad asked me what I would want for Christmas if I could have anything I wanted. I didn't answer for a minute, and then told him my honest answer--A courtship proposal!   I was really struggling with this strong desire to start a courtship (with someone in particular!) and I just needed to share my heart with my dad. He encouraged me to stay focused on the Lord and said some things that made me pretty sure there was nothing going on.

As we were heading back up the stairs he referred to that day in the future when a courtship would begin and said, "It will seem like just yesterday that we had this conversation."  Later that evening I spoke with my dad's mom and found out that she and her husband were joining us for supper with the H’s on Christmas Eve. This seemed a little odd to me but I went to sleep that night pouring out my heart to the Lord and asking for his grace to leave my Isaac on the altar.

Before supper we all sat in the living room to sing a few Christmas carols and then Dad asked J to pray for supper. As soon as J finished praying he went on to say that he had two things to share. It is not unusual for J to share what the Lord has been doing in his life so I thought nothing of it, but I had not given up all hope either!  He started to tell of someone that had come to mean a lot to him in the last several months, and although he didn't say any names, he did refer to the individual as being a man (STINK!) I was sitting there fighting a mental battle between hope that maybe he would pursue me and my logical reasoning that it wasn't going to happen. As he spoke of this man that had discipled, prayed, and cried with him, he turned to face me and said "Through this process I have come to know somebody else, and that brings me to you. B, would you give me the honor and privilege of winning your heart with the sincere desire for marriage?" (I couldn't breathe!!!) He then told me that I didn't have to give him an answer right away. "Are you kidding?" I said. "Yes, YES, YES!!!!!!!!"

Wow! Let's just say that I was floating on cloud 9 and looking at my family in utter amazement! Since that night J and I have been able to spend a lot of time just talking and reading the precious journal that my mom kept over the past eight months. We are both just in awe of what God has done. He has truly blessed us far beyond what we could ask or think. Neither one of us ever anticipated the sweetness a relationship can have when God is the creator of it.

Love,
B

"Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen" Ephesians 3:20-21


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Apr. 28, 2008
Dear Anonymous

Posted in Teenagers

Recently I received this comment to the entry I wrote called “Why Crysten is not married, yet.” 

 

Apr. 24, 2008 - Women, marriage and study

Posted by Anonymous


I am a 25 year old woman, currently studying for my Masters degree at Cambridge in England. I am a Christian but also unmarried. I don't plan on marrying anytime soon, although I am in a relationship with a Godly man. I disagree entirely with your opinion that women should not study after school, and therefore should only engage in "domestic pursuits". God has given me many gifts: intelligence. I am using that gift not selfishly but because I can contribute in any way He wants me to. You cannot assume that every woman should marry young and have babies. God cannot be put in a box, and He might just have a plan for someone other than what His plan was for you.

Dear Anonymous from Cambridge,

I was not surprised to hear from you.  There are many lovely Christian women who would share your pragmatic views.  Pragmatism judges behaviors by results.  “If it works, it must be right.”    I am asking you to use your intelligence to judge what is right by the Scriptures. 

What I expressed in my blog is not my opinion, and contrary to popular opinion is not stated in ignorance (vs. intelligence).  I didn’t write the Bible, God did.  It was His opinion that I was expressing.  I would be the last one to put God in a box, but He cannot contradict Himself.  He is the one who wrote the principles for our youth, and  His will cannot contradict His principles. 

If you read what I said carefully, you will notice that I did not assume that every woman should marry young and  have babies.  Some women are called to singleness.  Other women must wait for marriage because we have misled our young men into thinking they should postpone this God honoring event.  I was misled as a young person on these issues, too, so I sympathize with others who do not understand them.  I get to sound the alarm so that young women don’t grow up to regret and say, “If only…”

God has an agenda for women.  So does the devil.  The battle between the two is as old as the Garden of Eden.  The lies that Satan used against Eve are the same lies he is using against the women of our generations…”God doesn’t mean what He says”; “You will not die (no consequences to wrong behaviors)”; “God is not good” (Being tied down by a husband and children is not good.)

He is lying when he tells us that the only difference between men and women is physiological.

He is lying when he tells us that words like femininity, submission, and respect are out dated terms.

He is lying when he tells us that marriage and babies and homemaking are for the ignorant.

Did you ever wonder why God made us female? 

Gen 2:18  And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."  We were made to complete a husband.  Sounds archaic when compared to the world view of our day, doesn’t it? 

Gen 1:28  Then God blessed them, and God said to them,"Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it..."  We were made to be a mother of children.

In 1987, only 20% of Christians thought women should NOT emphasize these two roles. 

In 2007, 47% of Christians thought women should NOT emphasize these two roles.  How thinking has changed in 20 short years!

God has an agenda.  God has a plan.  Who will be the keepers of His plan for the world if you and I don’t step up?

Did you read those Scriptures I quoted in the blog?  Please read them again and consider what it is God is saying to you.  Note in Titus 2 that I am commanded to teach you these things.  

I am not against educating yourself, but understand that you are postponing something that you cannot do for the rest of your life.  You can study anytime.  You only have a short window of time to have babies, and grow old with grandchildren. 

Look again at the Proverbs 31 woman.  She accomplished many things, but she had a life time to do it.  You will get to do everything you want to do if you marry young.  I was 47 when my baby finished high school, and I married at 22 – past my Biblical “youth”.    I am now 58 with lots of youth left in me and lots of time to do many things.  Meanwhile, I am also enjoying the fruits of raising 4 Christian women and playing with the 15 wonderful grandchildren they have given me so far.  I’ve learned, sometimes the hard way,  that God was right after all.

I’ve been through college.  I know about deadlines and workload, but I encourage you to put Scriptures as a first priority.  It will protect your mind from Satan’s lies.  God has some radical ideas that He insists we live by.  His Word is all the truth you’ll ever need. Taste and see how good is our God.

Ps 1:2-3 But his delight is in the law of the LORD And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.

Ps 119:97 Oh, how I love Your law.  It is my meditation all the day.

It does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours in every day as a saint, to go through drudgery as a disciple, to live an ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus.

It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not.  We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things.   Oswald Chambers


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Apr. 12, 2008
Why Crysten is not married...yet

Posted in Teenagers

Now, before she gets mad at me, let me explain.  Crysten is not the only eligible Chrisitian young woman in her late twenties waiting for marriage.  There are many others like her.  They are patiently waiting and preparing.

I think the primary reason that marriage has been postponed for them is that our young men (and young women) have been chasing after other things.  They have been misguided about God’s priorities and His plan for the world. 

My friend Paulie sent me a website the other day. It’s another one of those “I could have written this...” moments for me.  It confirms what I have been sharing for years even when it seemed no one was listening.

http://www.crosswalk.com/root/pastors/11560082/page0/

In the article, Pastor John Piper introduces us to a sociology professor from Notre Dame.  Christian Smith writes about why young people are increasingly postponing adulthood until their thirties.

I am a mom who watched three daughters marry before they were 20.  This flew in the face of the conventional wisdom of our day that assumes our young women should find a career before they settle into marriage.  I am more opposed to that than even I let on at times.  Looks like Professor Smith would agree even though he doesn’t acknowledge that the Bible validates this thinking.

His conclusions come as the result of observing cultural trends.  Here are two of the them that Professor Smith says contributes to a delay in maturity and marriage.

1.  The growth of higher education, including years of graduate school. 

Years ago I gave a talk at a homeschool convention about why we shouldn’t send our children to college.  It received mixed reviews, but after all these years I still stand by that talk.  It was grounded in Scripture and observations.  Don’t get me wrong, I am all in favor of life long learning – but, not in the college campus context, if at all possible.

2.  The delay of marriage, where most of our youth face almost a decade between high school graduation and marriage to spend time exploring life’s many options in unprecedented freedom.  

I could spend pages on this one conclusion alone.  Marriage is a safety net for mature young people.  It’s what we should be preparing them for in the years that we have them under our roof.  Mind you, there are a few who are called to a life of singleness, but they are the exception.  I didn’t know when or if our girls would marry, but God called the first three to it very early.  I am so thankful I stressed domestic training with them while they were here. 

They will never have a diploma to prove it, but they have all “kept up with their studies” over their years of marriage. Their primary textbook has been the Scriptures.  If that were all they have studied, it would be enough.

Their husbands have been students, too.  In fact, Ed is studying for his doctorate right now.  He got his undergraduate degree and Masters degree while married with children and a job.  Jeremy has had a number of studies for his electrical license and for taxidermy while married with children and a job.  Dan and Melissa are both studying Spanish right now... see how this works?

As for the unprecedented freedom – Be careful what you allow to become familiar.    I’ve seen many young people who would rather commit to the singles group at church instead of moving on to the marriage phase of life. 

Pastor Piper goes on to mention ways that the church should respond to this cultural shift...

1.  Encourage maturity. 

Yes!  Young people of all ages respond to a life that has meaning and purpose.  Even little ones find satisfaction when they are entrusted with meaningful responsibilities, like daily chores and learning memory verses, etc. 

Titus 2:6-8

Likewise, exhort the young men to be

sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be

a pattern of good works;

in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,  

sound speech that cannot be condemned...

1 Tim 4:12-14

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers

in word,

in conduct,

in love,

in spirit,

in faith,

in purity.

...give attention to reading,

to exhortation,

to doctrine.   Are we teaching and encouraging our young men to give attention to these things?  I’m not seeing it.

3.  While celebrating the call to life long singleness, the church will not encourage those who don’t have the call to wait till late in their twenties or thirties to marry, even if it means marrying while in school.

Amen. 

Prov 5:18    Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth.

Mal 2:14  ...the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth... She is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring...

Eccl 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun.

Whenever I can, I like to turn single young men’s thoughts towards marriage.  It makes my girls nervous sometimes, but I believe marriage is the best way to continue in God’s plan for the world... to be fruitful and multiply. 

He has a plan and He’s looking for a godly seed to fulfill it.  I like to tell them that they are denying their grandchildren by postponing marriage.  They just look at me as if I don’t know what I’m talking about.  Think about it.

I know two young people who are almost 30; one male, one female.  Of course, God doesn’t want our young women pursuing men, but this girl isn’t even in the mindset of marriage should she be pursued.  She has gotten her career, is living her career, and enjoying “unprecedented freedom”.  In her mind, marriage will come later. 

The young man, who is quite mature, wants to go back to college to get another degree.  “I don’t understand why everyone thinks you should be getting married right out of college.”  Little did he know that I thought he should have been thinking about it before college. 

I once questioned another young woman who was studying to be a doctor.  Studying was all she got to do with her life.  She wanted to be a missionary doctor.  Admirable intentions, to be sure.  She also wanted to be married someday and have babies.

“How will you handle being a surgeon and having babies?” I asked seeing that she had not thought this all through very carefully.

“No problem,” she quickly responded.  “I’ll just strap my baby on my back and take her/him into the operating room with me.”

I gently reminded her that she was talking about two callings on her life.  God will call her to just one.  I told her that the world doesn’t need more good doctors, but the world is in desperate need of more godly mothers.  She did not take that news well.  She believed she could have it all...

It’s disturbing that marriage is no where on their immediate radar screen.  And, sadly, they are not alone.  I love to tell young people (and I didn’t marry until I was 22) that I got to raise my babies and was 47 when my youngest finished high school.  I was young enough to go to college, start a career, etc.  And now I have 15 grandchildren that I can enjoy and be a shaping influence for good in their lives for many years to come, Lord willing.   I don’t want young people to one day regret that they lived their lives backwards.   

There’s so much more in the article.  I hope you’ll take time to read the rest and ponder these things.  I am convinced that we have missed the heart of God when it comes to these very important teachings.  If we directed our young men and women towards these Biblical principles, Crysten and other young women like her might be married by now. 

 


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Apr. 7, 2008
Inquiring Minds Want to Know- You're gonna miss this...

Posted in Teenagers

Blue, cloudless skies seemed so nice today.  Green plants are starting to poke up out of the ground so I must get outside soon before everything gets away from me.  The ground prep that I usually do in the fall didn’t get done last year because of the South Africa trip.  Inquiring minds want to know… Did I ever discover what went bump in the night last week?  You know, when I thought it was Crysten and it wasn’t… this one’s for you Darryl.  Turns out it was Newman Gamage.  He often stops by to drop off samples for the Dairy One pick-up guy.  He stopped by the next day to tell me about it.  He didn’t think anyone was home.

Today was a rather routine day.  Not much to write about.  Chores, banking, Curves and I organized a new filing cabinet for the library.  It’s a beautiful furniture type piece.  Perfect fit. 

Recently, I heard a song by Trace Atkins.  It was one of those times when I said, “I could have written that…”
Trace Adkins, You're Gonna Miss This

She was staring out the window of their SUV
Complaining, saying "I can't wait to turn 18"
She said "I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules"
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said "I was just like you"

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"
She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says "Baby, just slow down"

Cause you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"

And I do….


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