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I keep reading in testamonies on the Setting Captives Free site that many people at this point in there fast have no desire for food at all. That has been troubling me because I not only still want food, but crave it! Even to the point that I dreamed about eating again last night!

My friend and accountability partner was here this morning and I asked her about it. She suggested that I go on the phase 2 discussion group and ask about it. I posted a question about it just now, but think I already got the answer by reading other posts. The poster also answered another question that has been troubling me.

I thought I was supposed to feel a special intimacy with God during this fast. Why am I not feeling that?? Yes, I feel that He is here helping me, but I don't feel any closer to Him than normal.

So here's the answer I found: " But I do know that have been times in a fast when I felt like I just couldn't connect with the Lord.  But after the fast was over I realized that He had been ministering  to me.  I felt the closeness after the fast instead of during the fast.  Sometimes He wants us to press on in our commitments whether we "feel" anything or not."

Wow!! Now that makes sense! Also, like I responded to someone in the discussion group, I have to remind myself that my main goal is to please God. I feel that by being obedient in sticking with this fast, then I am pleasing Him. This is very much a spiritual battle!!

Ok, onto how today went. I had my breakfast smoothie around 11am so I was intertaining ideas of skipping my lunch smoothie in hopes that I would loose another pound more quickly. Well, by 3pm, my stomach was complaining so loudly that I went in and got my broth to drink. We are hoping to watch "Night at the Museum 2" tonight, if daddy can find it! Everyone else will be having popcorn while watching the movie, so that's when I will have my other smoothie.

I am down to 169 as of this morning! Woohoo!! I am celebrating each pound I loose!

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I'm posting the morning of Day 13 because I didn't get to post lastnight. We sat up and watched "It's A Wonderful Life" with the kids last night. It was after 10 when the movie was over and we got the kids settled into bed. Then it was almost 11 when I was talking with my friend on IM and started talking gibberish to her. She responded, "You need to go to bed!" LOL! 

Yesterday was a pretty decent day...except for being sick. I made broth for myself. It tasted pretty good. Yesterday I learned that I need the belth of belt of truth as part of my armor. I learned that the belt of truth is a simile for the gospel.

Ephes. 1:13
In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,

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I forgot to tell! Last night was the Christmas Party/Board Meeting. I did fine. Just did my best to not even look at all the goodies. Ok, I did sneek a peek!  But I had my smoothie and was fine. Then when I asked for some water our hostess offered me some warm Apple Cider. Oh, Yay!!! A treat that I CAN have!! It was soooo yummy too!

Also forgot to say, I'm still at 170 today. But I seem to have fallen into a pattern of staying at the same weight for a couple days and then dropping to the next lower pound. Really hoping and praying to see 169 on that scale tomorrow morning!

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My throat is all scratchy and sore and my head is hurting. Feels like the beginning of sickies. I plan to load up on vitamin C and whatever else I can find that might help before I go to bed.

Today was a pretty good day. Had issues dealing with the kids, especially since Knight #1 is still only on the lowest dose of his new med. Sunday we go up to 2mg! Woohoo! Hopefully, we'll start to see some improvement!

I forgot to make more broth today so I had the last of my smoothie for dinner. Oh, darn! LOL Can you tell that I like the smoothies better than the broth? Although the broth isn't bad.

In my lesson today they are starting a study of the whole armor of God. Very cool! The focus today was on the Breastplate of Righteousness. This piece is very important because it protects the heart. That is where all our evil starts, so we have to be diligent to guard our hearts. The Breastplate of Righteousness is basically Jesus righteousness covering us. When we turn from sin and embrace God's ways then we are covered with the Breastplate of Righteousness. At least that's the best I can explain it at this late hour and not feeling well.

A couple of verses to post tonight:

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

Ephes. 6:10-20
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.

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So far today things are going better. Knight #2 is still being a huge challenge, arguing with me at every step, but I seem to be dealing with it a little better anyway. He had dishes left from last night that he hadn't finished. I decided to go in and help him with them rather than beat my head against a brick wall all day. Just not into torturing myself.

After the dishes were done, I made my smoothies for the next couple of days and got it in the fridge. Then I worked out for 15 mins. I'm feeling really sore and weak, but good. Had my broth after I got cleaned up.

Tonight I'm going to the PPEA Board Meeting/Christmas party. It is going to be sooo tempting to want to sample all the treats there! I'm going to bring my smoothie and be good though. I keep reminding myself there will be other treats later. It helps me to feel less like I'm missing out. Besides, my treat is feasting on Jesus!!!

I'm down to 170! That makes a total of 20 lbs lost so far and 4 lbs since I've been on Phase 2! I'm sooo happy! Can't wait to drop below 170!

Today in my lesson I learned that as I abide in God's Word, and in obedience, Jesus continues to pour His love and joy into me till it overflows to others.

John 15:9-14
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. 12"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command you.

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I'm having a horrible day! Have a terrible headache, waiting for hubby to get home with my migraine Rx. Knight #2 is starting a new medication and it is such a low dose to start with it's like he hasn't taken anything. As a result, I have a little boy who is very impulsive, and it's like pulling teeth to get him to do ANYTHING!

He and his brother just got into it and were fighting over a video game, I ended up grounding them both from the TV. Days like this are the days when I would want a big pizza for dinner and some chocolate later in the evening!! These are the days when I would throw caution to the wind and eat whatever and however much I wanted.

Great! Knight #2 just got silly putty stuck in the fur of Knight #1's newest webkin! Knight #1 is understandably upset. Yes, I want the biggest pizza we can find!!!! and a huge bar of dark chocolate!!!

But I will settle for just my broth.

Today we learned about the promise we are given if we abide in Jesus.

John 15:7-8
If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.

That does not mean that if I ask for a new car then God will just give it to me. But as I abide in Him, my desires change to match His. My desire becomes to glorify Him.

I think I need to go do some feasting on Him and abiding in Him right now. Please pray for us, it is going to take at least a few weeks to get Knight #2 up to the right dosage. In the meantime this is what we get to deal with. Oh, thank you Lord!!! Knight #1 just started some worship music!! That's exactly what I need right now!! Praise You for knowing precisely what I need and when I need it!

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I'm going to bed early tonight. I'm getting a headache. My days have been headache free, but I seem to be getting a headache each night.

The lesson today was a warning to continue abiding in Jesus. Those who do not are cut from the branch and burned.

John 15:6
If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.

What a good reminder to remain in Jesus and to examine my life to make sure I am indeed abiding in Him.

I'm going to keep this short. I'm heading for bed. Can't afford to get a migraine when I won't have my Rx till tomorrow.

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It's going pretty good. I had my 8 oz. of smoothie for breakfast. Then some herbal tea. Had another smoothie for lunch and my broth for dinner. I'm actually hungry right now, but I'm drinking my water and going to bed soon.

Last night my hubby and I got to go out. We went to this place called Keva Juice. They have all kinds of healthy smoothies. No sugar added, just the natural fruit. They also add vitamins or protien, etc. if you ask for it. I had their Strawberry Detox with vitamins added to it. I asked for a 12 oz because that was their smallest size. They gave me a 24 oz instead. I'm guessing I drank about half of it and gave the rest to my hubby.

I had dropped our kids off at church where the Keepers at Home group was watching them for us. Hubby had stayed home to help our neighbor with some things. On my way home I passed a Burger King. The thought passed through my mind, "If I stopped right now and had something, no one would know." I rejected the thought and kept on driving. Had to pray for help to fight that temptation because the thought would not leave immediately. Whew!! Thank you Lord for helping me to resist!!

I am down to 172!!! Lost 2 lbs yesterday!! I would not have lost those two pounds if I had given in to that temptation to stop at Burger King!!!

Today the lesson was that we can do nothing without Jesus Christ.

John 15:4-5
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Jesus is the vine from whom we get our live blood. Just like a branch cannot produce any fruit if it is chopped off the vine, so we cannot bear fuit unless we abide in Jesus. This lesson made that concept clearer to me that it has ever been before. However much we grab hold of this concept and abide in Christ, that much will we be able to produce fruit.

I also was struck by the thought that as we abide in Christ, others will naturally be drawn to Him.

Proverbs 11:30
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life,
and whoever captures souls is wise.

Not that we should never share the gospel with others. Mike the founder of Setting Captives Free says it much better than I can:

Remember, we cannot win souls apart from abiding in Jesus Christ. Winning souls, that is, being a tree of life to others, is the fruit of abiding in Christ. But the most amazing thing happens as we do indeed abide in Jesus. We find that there are others in our life who have come to faith in Jesus, and seem to credit us as God’s instrument for their salvation. We may not have used any evangelistic technique or gimmick on them, we have simply walked with God in our own every-day life, maybe we prayed for them and with them, or possibly we explained the gospel to them.

Wow! How cool is that?? Lord, please help me to abide more and more in YOU! Amen!

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Today is a dreary rainy day. I have been hungry pretty much all day. I listened to "Pilgrim's Progress" on my MP3 player for a while as I worked on Christmas gifts for my friends. I have them all finished and ready to give out, praise God!! I still have gifts that I am crocheting for my kids for Christmas to finish.

Hubby and I get to go out tonight! Woohoo!! Looks like we are going Christmas shopping. The Keeper's At Home group at our church is doing a parent's night out this Friday and next. Next Friday I will be helping out since Maiden is now in Keeper's. If you are unfamiliar with them, Keeper's At Home is similar to Girl Scouts. Only they are Biblically based and teach the girls more homey type skills.

Here is the verse I'm posting for today:

1 Peter 5:10
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

1 Corinthians 1:3-4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Notice that He comforts us IN our tribulation. I give Him the glory for helping me to continue without solid foods. I made a soup out of the veggies I used for my broth and the broth from yesterday. I added sausage to it. It looked sooooo good I wanted some!! I couldn't help taking a picture of it!

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I didn't get a chance to post yesterday. I'm posting what I wrote as my response to today's lesson question on how I'm doing.

Yesterday was a pretty good day! The only problem was that I made broth and put chicken broth in it. I will not use the rest of that broth as I now know that is not "kosher" for this fast. I'll use it in a soup for my family or something. I only had 8 oz of it. I also realized that I was having too much smoothie and broth at one time which would explain why I was gaining rather than loosing. I've now cut that back to approximately 8 oz.

Last night we went to home fellowship. This is always a potluck. I was able to sit there and have my broth while everyone else was having their meal. One of my friends said she felt bad eating in front of me and I said, "Please, don't let it bother you, I'm fine."

On the spiritual level, God is showing me much about perservering. I am doing my best to abide in Him even as I go about my daily busyness. I am finding myself plagued with thoughts of not wanting to continue but I push them away.

I realized this morning that one of the Christmas Parties I'm going to this year falls within the time of this fast. It will be this coming Tuesday night. It is also a meeting for the board on which I serve so I can't really skip out. Nor do I want to as I always enjoy the fellowship with these dear sisters and brother in Christ! It will not be easy denying myself all the yummy treats that I know will be there! But by God's grace I KNOW I can do it! I may have to have my broth for lunch that day so I can bring my smoothie for this! That way I can have a yummy treat too!