It's been an interesting week around here. First off, we got the boys' biology lab supplies in the mail (think dissection). The box sat on my counter for days before I finally got brave enough to open it and face the fetal pig, crayfish and other disgusting contents. (and I was a nurse! But EW!)  Part of the reason I waited--besides being a big chicken-- was so I could clear a high closet shelf to immediately transfer Wilbur and company so the dog didn't get wind of it. THAT could have traumatic results. And do you honestly think we'll ever get around to dissecting something I've named?

The things we moms do...

But the past couple of weeks I've been thinking a lot about how we spend our time. It's becoming a precious commodity the older my children get. I want less running around, not more. Less outside activities and fewer distractions. More time at home, doing things together. Time is fleeting. I realize that we are running out of time as they grow and want to make and keep precious memories. Gracie and I spent the afternoon today baking bread, talking, watching I Love Lucy between risings. It was wonderful. Shortly after, we went together to get my hair 'done' for an AF function I had to attend with dh tonight. As dh and I left for said function, the kids were settling down with pizza and sudoku puzzles and picking out a movie for their Friday night. Guess where I wanted to be? NOT in my dressy clothes, heading out for an evening with relative strangers. My heart is at home.

I suppose we've always been that way. Steve and I were never very good about date nights with our first baby (or subsequent ones, for that matter). We just liked him a lot and loved being near him, whether he was awake or no. We were creative with time alone, very rarely  leaving him with a sitter (usually a family member in town for a week!). We figured we had 'alone time' built in, since he usually went to sleep before us! The mantra of 'you need a weekly date night' was one we largely ignored. I'm grateful for my husband's common sense and balance in that area.

I have so often said we grew up together with our children. They changed us in ways we couldn't have imagined, and continue to do so. The Bible says children are a heritage of the Lord. They are a Gift.  Motherhood has easily been the single most life-changing experience for me, aside from salvation. I felt early on that I could either struggle against the changes and necessary restrictions being a mother brought to me, or I could embrace it fully. I have tried my hardest to do the latter, and through the changes and restrictions, found true freedom. It goes back to words of Jesus, 'whoever would keep his life must first lose it'. I lost my old self in so many ways--lack of sleep, lack of control (I don't care how well you try to schedule a baby, those mustard diaper blowouts answer to no man!!), lack of my rights to do what I wanted at a given time, lack of my figure!....but found so much more--warmth, love, a tenderness in myself that I never dreamed was there, the unexpected blessings...from a baby splashing in bath water to watching a toddler tool around the driveway on his first trike to bedtime prayers and jelly-filled kisses and hugs. From "Mommy,watch this!" to slammed doors and tantrums. To teens taller than me who will still slip an arm around my shoulder in public.

It's been quite a ride so far, and I wish I could beg God for....more Time.

Here is a beautiful post from the My Dear Mother newsletter:

    Dear Heavenly Father, Make me a better parent.

Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say 

and to answer all their questions kindly.

Keep me from interrupting them, talking back to them, and contradicting them.

Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me.

Give me the courage to confess my sins against my children and to ask of them

 forgiveness when I know that I have done them wrong.

May not I vainly hurt the feelings of my children.

Forbid that I should laugh at their mistakes or resort to shame and ridicule as punishment.

Let me not tempt my child to lie and steal.

So guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do 

that honesty produces happiness.

Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me.

May I cease to nag; and when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue.

Blind me to the little errors of my children, and help me to see the good things

 that they do.

Give me a ready word to honest praise.

Help me to grow up with my children, to treat them as those of their own age, 

but let me not expect of them the judgments and conventions of adults.

Allow me not to rob them of the opportunity to wait upon themselves, to think,

 to choose and to make decisions.

Forbid that I should ever punish them for my selfish satisfaction.

May I grant them all their wishes that are reasonable and have the courage always

 to withhold a privilege which I know will do them harm.

Make me so fair and just, so considerate and companionable to my children 

that they will have a genuine esteem for me.

Fit me to be loved and imitated by my children.  Amen