I think I have earned a day of rest today.  Seems we've been in a whirl since returning from the Netherlands a couple of weekends ago, but  what an experience!The highlights, of course, were visiting  the Anne Frank House, and seeing the tulip gardens at the Keukenhof Gardens. It really is as beautiful as you can imagine:

Since then, we received shipment of our household goods, so we've been working on unpacking and making the house liveable with our own things.

You appreciate the little stuff when you've lived out of a suitcase for 2 and a half months!

Other activities this week....

...watching baseball games--lots of them, it's tournament weekend

...going on walks and enjoying the trails as they green up

...finishing standardized testing--can you see the enjoyment on the faces?

...looking at cute flippy summer skirts online (Christopher and Banks had a 50% off sale--woohoo!!) I love a comfy skirt with flipflops.

...remembering why we do what we do... thanks Kim for reminding me of this book!

I think it was Patsy Clairmont who said "normal is just  a setting on your dryer". Too true,that!

I've had many people wish us 'back to normal' after the events of the past couple of weeks, but guess what folks..this IS our normal. ;)  Shortly after my hand surgery, I caught the flu and was laid low several days. Then this past weekend, our oldest son was hurt pretty badly in a tournament baseball game. He took a blow to the head from the ball and ended up with a fractured facial bone and concussion. One CT scan, neurosurgery consult later and he was allowed home (he may have some ongoing issues and perhaps still a surgery). How quickly life changes and truly, things happen in the blink of an eye. I've been holding him more closely since he's been home (never mind that he's 15!) and surely am grateful for even his silliness. My blood chills to think how differently it could've turned out. (but don't get me started, I've cried enough!)

Somehow life carries on....with its runs to gymnastics, the library, piano lessons and all the normal craziness of our life. And I am grateful for every minute of it.

Here is what we've been doing this week.  Missoula Children's Theater is a wonderful program that shows up at most AF bases around the world. This is our third year participating, and thankfully all of my children that tried out for parts got one. They are having a blast! One part of MCT that is so awesome is that they provide sets and costumes and have 2 very high energy, fun drama coaches. The kids learn a play in one week and do two performances. Our performances are Friday and Saturday and I know I'll have great photos to post later!

I am also busy getting piano music ready for a wedding this weekend, so perhaps by Monday I'll be able to breathe....

For a mother, anyway. I KNOW everyone goes through this, but it's such a chilling sight to see your firstborn behind the wheel for the first time. Yikes!

(and he says I never put any good photos of him on here....)

Sappy post alert!

As we reach the end of our 12th(?) homeschool year, I am sad as usual. I know, not a normal reaction for the end of the school year! To me, it's not a relief that summer is finally here. It just means another year has gone by that I get to spend with my kids, and the clock is ticking. Yes, I know....our goal is to raise them and help them become productive Christians who will lead meaningful lives. But golldurn if it isn't way harder to let go than I ever thought it would be!!!  How did we ever go from this group of small fry, back a few years ago...

to this....

this.....

and this....

I am truly thankful for my children, and for the privilege (it is indeed a privilege, I hope I never forget that!) to raise them and for the time we have together through homeschooling. I love them so much.

Just call me Mary Decker....or was it Zola Budd?? 

 Ha. Whichever one went down like a sack of flour in that infamous race way back in the 80s. Not that I can compare to an elite runner, but I digress.....I was hoping this post would be titled "how it felt running my first 5K" but alas, it was not meant to be. While trying to fight gravity's effects on my 30-something-old body, I instead became a victim of said gravity.  And of my son's size 12 feet. He ran the 5K with me, and got a little too close for comfort. Feet were tangled, Mom(me) tripped and went down, and the rest is history. My first 'race' ending in ignominy. Ah well....I'll never forget it, right? The only thing hurt was my knee (and my pride!)  Since my knee was bleeding quite a lot, and I was hobbling, we were unable to finish the actual race. I am moving around much better today, and actually got out and ran 2 miles, so we will try again next week! Our base sponsors a 5K 'fun run' every Wednesday. (the irony of that name isn't lost on me!) So...we (me and said son a good block behind me!) will try again. 

I grew up in the New Mexico desert. Mom always kept a beautiful flower bed, trailing honeysuckle, and gorgeous rose bushes in our yard. I never thought a thing about it growing up,that roses coming up out of that dry cracked soil might somehow be incongruous. It never occurred to me how hard she had to work.  We moved house several times in my childhood, but always the yard and flowers were a priority that were dealt with soon after getting settled into the new place. That is a slice of my childhood--freshly cut grass, groomed bushes and beautifully maintained flowerbeds. I can close my eyes and breathe in the smells and see it all over again.

I have actually tried to quit counting how many houses my husband and I have lived in, in 18 years of being a military spouse, because it depresses me if I think about it too much. (ok that made me stop and count--13 houses!!) Especially since having children, I am driven once we move in, to get unpacked and have things 'in their place'. To get curtains hung, and certain pictures put up, because I know it doesn't feel like 'home' to them without these familiar items. (Remember Ma Ingalls and her china sheperdess?) Part of making it 'home' is setting out the planters, trying our hand at annuals and even some perennials. Putting in bushes or ferns when we know it won't be us enjoying them in a few years, but going ahead anyhow.

We do it because without continuing these domestic, life-giving chores, hope for any shot at 'normal' life would die. Hope is what makes you put out a pot of petunias in the spring when you're not sure you'll see the autumn in the same location. It's what makes you sew curtains for one more odd-shaped window. It's what makes you plug into one more church, one more social group, one more neighborhood.

Hope is what makes you plant roses in the desert.  I get it now, Mom.

Yesterday we watched a friend's baby for most of the day. At one point Anna realized her "Carly" doll was the same size as the actual baby, who truly is a living doll!!

Tonight I was scrolling through channels on the tv, looking (in vain)for something decent to watch. I came across the PBS station here and suddenly realized I am PAST the Arthur/Dora Explorer era in my life. No one in my house is begging to watch Clifford the Big Red Dog these days. And funnily enough, that makes me very sad.

Earlier, I was sitting with my scrapbook and finally caught some time to work on a few pages. I put in Gabe's 13th birthday from last summer (I am sure I lose all kinds of 'good mommy' awards for taking so long!!)  But I sat and thought about how could it possibly have been 13 years already? And took a moment to be thankful about the type of young man he is becoming and how he is allowing God to work in his life.  

But it made me realize why I like scrapbooking so much.....it forces me to sit and remember, to take stock of what we've been doing, how much time has passed. Why I suddenly have children who seem too old for Clifford and Sesame Street and are now able to follow a recipe, make cookies on their own, babysit and (ack!!) take Driver's Ed. It helps me to be more purposeful about our time, to realize this is NOT forever and to really be in the moment.

Scrapbooking has made me a more thoughtful person, and in spite of all the dough I've dropped on little doo-dads for this hobby, I think I've come away the winner.

We've been blessed by several family visits while dh has been deployed. First my sister and her little one Tanner came out from Kansas in October.

Next, mother-in-law flew out from Florida over Thanksgiving. She kept the kids distracted with bocce ball (friend Jackson joined in with that) and card playing and anything else they wanted to do!We just returned from taking my parents to the airport to head back to Texas, after spending a wonderful Christmas vacation with them.  Lots of card playing, movie watching, walks, oh and eating of course!Mom-- I have a difficult time getting a photo of you with your eyes open! That woman will play Phase 10, anytime, anywhere ha! From the bottom of our hearts, thanks to all of you who helped the last few months go by a little more quickly. We love you and are so grateful for our wonderful family. We are blessed!

Bear with me for another round of photo updates.

It's been 15 weeks since Steve left for this current deployment in the fall. We are down to the final 4-5 weeks, PTL!  We will be together as a family again by the beginning of February, Lord willing. If anyone is counting (and trust me, I am!), between this and the last deployment, we have been apart a year total out of the last 2 years.  Longer, if you add in TDY time. It's a very real--very likely--possibility this won't be the last deployment either. I try not to think too much about that. One day at a time!

At any rate, here a few shots from our past weekend. It was a busy one for us as I played piano for 3 services for the chapel. Christmas itself was nice and quiet, involving lots of food and naps.

All the children on Christmas Eve:

The girls and I. I never got around to taking one with all the kids! They changed their clothes too quickly after church

The traditional reading of the Luke 2 Christmas story with Grandpa and little Anna

Grandma and Anna watching a movie--complete with curlers

Anna showing some of her new duds:

 Grace doing same--she makes me laugh!

Gabe sleepily opening a Christian tee

Steve was so sweet to send some gifts for the kids to open. The neat thing is, we got a call from him right as we were opening gifts. Matt spoke with him while opening!

Here are the boys modeling the Oakley sunglasses Steve sent them

For the siblings--Mom and Dad were SO surprised and absolutely loved the digital camera!

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

It's after Thanksgiving, which means the house is full of Christmas music--all sorts: CDs, radio, piano and guitar. Three of the kids are practicing for recitals, I am practicing Christmas music for upcoming church services and my oldest is playing guitar. Since he also plays for church, one of the challenges we've had is that when we play out of hymnals, there are obviously no chords listed. Since December will be mostly out of the hymnal (Christmas songs!) I finally was motivated to look for a site with hymnal chord charts. I found two great ones I thought I'd share in case anyone else is looking for the same thing. (I don't vouch for everything on the sites, but the music part is helpful)
Higher Praise  and also Wigtune Company (gotta love that name!)
Wigtune does not seem as extensive as HP, but I found a couple of hymns on that one that weren't listed on the first site. Happy surfing!

Last night I decided we all needed a fun day off. So, I surprised the kids with a day off and 'field trip'. We went to an incredible pumpkin farm nearby....'farm' is too small a word. They have a great business out there selling all sort of food, gifts. There's a corn maze, train, a petting zoo (the girls' favorite!). Even though my big boys are a little old for some of this, they were incredibly good sports and helpful with the girls....of course, having lunch thrown in the deal helped!

The girls ate up the whole experience, for some reason I couldn't get the boys to pose like this:

Though I did get them to do this:

The girls loved the animals, of course

while the guys waited 'patiently'

the girls and mama

everyone smile, now!

Just realized I haven't updated my blog in quite some time. There is nothing spectacular to report, and nighttime usually finds me so tired I barely have much time to think, much less write or think about writing. We are just kind of moving along, coping with Daddy's deployment, spending time with each other and friends, doing church activities, homeschooling, going to soccer practices, having piano lessons, Awanas and all those other things that are part of life with kids and a lone mommy taxiing them around. (I'm a bit tired of that last part). Frankly, I'm just tired. And kind of pulling back and trying to make sure to take care of ME too, which often means I click the cpu off without checking email and tuck myself into bed. So if my entries or emails are fewer and farther between than normal, I thank you for your patience with me in this season of life!

Sometimes they only catch seaweed

Sometimes they actually catch fish

I only know my husband is the most patient man in the world!

We miss him when he's gone.

View of Blackwelder Lake, Saturday night:

We celebrated Anna's 8th birthday last weekend. Hard for me to believe my 'baby' is 8! What a lil' sweetie....

It's been an interesting week around here. First off, we got the boys' biology lab supplies in the mail (think dissection). The box sat on my counter for days before I finally got brave enough to open it and face the fetal pig, crayfish and other disgusting contents. (and I was a nurse! But EW!)  Part of the reason I waited--besides being a big chicken-- was so I could clear a high closet shelf to immediately transfer Wilbur and company so the dog didn't get wind of it. THAT could have traumatic results. And do you honestly think we'll ever get around to dissecting something I've named?

The things we moms do...

But the past couple of weeks I've been thinking a lot about how we spend our time. It's becoming a precious commodity the older my children get. I want less running around, not more. Less outside activities and fewer distractions. More time at home, doing things together. Time is fleeting. I realize that we are running out of time as they grow and want to make and keep precious memories. Gracie and I spent the afternoon today baking bread, talking, watching I Love Lucy between risings. It was wonderful. Shortly after, we went together to get my hair 'done' for an AF function I had to attend with dh tonight. As dh and I left for said function, the kids were settling down with pizza and sudoku puzzles and picking out a movie for their Friday night. Guess where I wanted to be? NOT in my dressy clothes, heading out for an evening with relative strangers. My heart is at home.

I suppose we've always been that way. Steve and I were never very good about date nights with our first baby (or subsequent ones, for that matter). We just liked him a lot and loved being near him, whether he was awake or no. We were creative with time alone, very rarely  leaving him with a sitter (usually a family member in town for a week!). We figured we had 'alone time' built in, since he usually went to sleep before us! The mantra of 'you need a weekly date night' was one we largely ignored. I'm grateful for my husband's common sense and balance in that area.

I have so often said we grew up together with our children. They changed us in ways we couldn't have imagined, and continue to do so. The Bible says children are a heritage of the Lord. They are a Gift.  Motherhood has easily been the single most life-changing experience for me, aside from salvation. I felt early on that I could either struggle against the changes and necessary restrictions being a mother brought to me, or I could embrace it fully. I have tried my hardest to do the latter, and through the changes and restrictions, found true freedom. It goes back to words of Jesus, 'whoever would keep his life must first lose it'. I lost my old self in so many ways--lack of sleep, lack of control (I don't care how well you try to schedule a baby, those mustard diaper blowouts answer to no man!!), lack of my rights to do what I wanted at a given time, lack of my figure!....but found so much more--warmth, love, a tenderness in myself that I never dreamed was there, the unexpected blessings...from a baby splashing in bath water to watching a toddler tool around the driveway on his first trike to bedtime prayers and jelly-filled kisses and hugs. From "Mommy,watch this!" to slammed doors and tantrums. To teens taller than me who will still slip an arm around my shoulder in public.

It's been quite a ride so far, and I wish I could beg God for....more Time.

Here is a beautiful post from the My Dear Mother newsletter:

    Dear Heavenly Father, Make me a better parent.

Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say 

and to answer all their questions kindly.

Keep me from interrupting them, talking back to them, and contradicting them.

Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me.

Give me the courage to confess my sins against my children and to ask of them

 forgiveness when I know that I have done them wrong.

May not I vainly hurt the feelings of my children.

Forbid that I should laugh at their mistakes or resort to shame and ridicule as punishment.

Let me not tempt my child to lie and steal.

So guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do 

that honesty produces happiness.

Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me.

May I cease to nag; and when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue.

Blind me to the little errors of my children, and help me to see the good things

 that they do.

Give me a ready word to honest praise.

Help me to grow up with my children, to treat them as those of their own age, 

but let me not expect of them the judgments and conventions of adults.

Allow me not to rob them of the opportunity to wait upon themselves, to think,

 to choose and to make decisions.

Forbid that I should ever punish them for my selfish satisfaction.

May I grant them all their wishes that are reasonable and have the courage always

 to withhold a privilege which I know will do them harm.

Make me so fair and just, so considerate and companionable to my children 

that they will have a genuine esteem for me.

Fit me to be loved and imitated by my children.  Amen

I think 'summer' is becoming optional for us--in terms of being completely 'off' school, that is. We moved (again) this past school year in March, which bumped our work into the summer, in spite of best intentions. So actually 'finishing' last school year only happened for most of my kids a couple of weeks ago. (the others shall remain nameless) However, it's been an easy-going, lazy kind of summer for them with plenty of pool time and other activities. I started thinking about the upcoming year and school book orders have slowly been trickling in. Funny thing, I heard some moms complaining about not being able to wait till their kids go back to school this fall. Such a foreign thing to me, since this my 15th year at home with kids and hey! I actually still like it. Anyway....my point. I caught the girls starting some of their new school books on the sly! They were too excited to wait! How cute are they? I'm glad they haven't realized they're supposed to hate school work and avoid it all costs!!

Another fun thing the past couple of weeks was the Missoula Children's Theater came through. For those who've never heard of it, it's a traveling children's theater--costumes, set and all. They audition local kids and cast parts. Then the kids have literally ONE week to learn their parts and put it all together! For those living on base, it's a great opportunity. If you ever get a chance to participate, do! Our experiences with them here and other places have been positive. The team (2 people! who run a cast of 50 or so) are high energy and love what they do. It's so fun to watch them in action. All the kids got a part, including my oldest, who worked behind the scenes. Here's a "Little Stinker", Anna (cutest skunk ever!)

"Little John", Gabe

Both of the above with one of the "guards", Grace

And sound effects guy Matt hangin' with Little John (I just this moment realized I didn't get photos of Grace and Matt alone--bad mommy!!)

The theater was a hit and several of the kids are interested in pursuing drama further. The community center on base is offering fall drama classes so we're hoping to make the most of the opportunity!

Entirely unrelated, but makes for a darling photo...The girls have had fun looking for lightweight summer skirts. I love that they still will wear matching shirts when they can find them. My little ladies!

Trying a new thing here...uploading my files straight to the HSB so we'll see how this works. Thought I would show some of the everyday things we've done with our time this summer--swimming, playing Littlest Pet Shop(constantly!), visiting an old Gold Mine (we ARE in California, after all!) and celebrating Gabe's 13 yo birthday (with his siblings and other friends)

I've spent a lot of time this summer in prayer....prayer that our year would go well, that God would watch over hubby (and us!) as we prepare for another Middle East deployment this fall.  

Prayer for each child, that I can somehow help give them what they need from me in the coming year. For some of them, this has nothing to do with school, but more about letting them grow into who God has made them. Always a balancing act!

I love this verse, from The New Living Translation:

I am guaranteed nothing but the Lord's peace, and that is enough. But I love that picture of it guarding my heart and mind. He has not given me a task too difficult to accomplish. He cares more about my children than I ever could and will show me what each of them needs, be it a math or character lesson. God is so good!

I saw this on my friend Kim's blog, and though the contest is over, it's interesting to look back and pull up the things that make up the fabric of our memories. Try it! And let me know what you write!

I'm from....

I am from homemade apple butter, from Palmolive dish soap, and the piano teacher with hands snarled by rheumatoid arthritis who still played beautifully.

I am from the high desert breezes and 'squash blossoms' worn around the necks of indian, mexican and anglo women.

I am from the yucca, the cactus, and the mountain; the rosebushes carefully tended in the midst of cracked dirt, and the turquoise sky that hurts your eyes.

I am from being on time--which means 15 minutes early so no one is waiting on me and from eyes as black as a Spaniard's.  From Grandma Brown, Reba June and Nana Faye.

I am from the 'don't air out your problems in front of others' and freely given hugs and kisses.  From gentlemen with flawless manners, burgundy bathrobes and slippers, Coors beer and lawnmowers.  

From "shut the door behind you" and  gently spoken "wake up, sweetie".

I am from the cold pew, smiling faces, arms reaching out to embrace and sun streaming through stained glass windows. Later--charismatic noise, songs whose words move you to tears, clapping and unbridled joy.  

From impromptu guitar sing alongs with hippie uncles whom I worshipped. From "Pass it On" and "You Gotta Have Skin". I'm from aunts who gave affection freely and made me feel pretty.  Who later divorced said uncles and left me confused.

I'm from sun so hot it makes you shiver, wind so strong it blows dust into your hair and ears, and sunsets so beautiful you see the finger of God.  I'm from homemade bread, meat loaf, tacos and enchiladas. I'm from Mexican and white worlds blended together beautifully and sometimes painfully.  

From the Missouri doctor who was called to the remote deserts of New Mexico and stayed for the rest of his life, the Rio Grande, and the Grandmother whose gentle ways will linger in my memory forever.

From missionaries, preachers, and teachers.

I am from old black and white photos lining hallways. Standing on tiptoe, hoping to catch a resemblance to myself in them. Finding none, and being both relieved and disappointed.

I am from being self centered, a provincial mindset, to realizing the world is a bigger place than I'd ever imagined. 

I'm from a nest so secure I had to get bumped out to find my wings.  From timidity and shyness to talkativeness and willingness to (literally) live anywhere in the world. From living in the same town for 20 years to moving every few years, to learning that God is with me everywhere and uses changes for my growth and good.

I am from grace.