Posted in The View From Here

I love reading Dad's Corner; Steve Walden's blog never fails to touch my heart. His last post tells of a weekly fishing trip he's taken with his 7 year old son and his father. It encompasses blessings of loving generations, a real father's heart and the best way to teach a child. It brought tears to my eyes.

I love my husband. However, he comes from a culture where children are separated from their parents at age one and families are little more than room mates. I am American and come from a culture where family is second only to God. We have a 14 year old daughter just stepping out into womanhood, a 12 year old daughter on the verge and a 4 year old daughter who is autistic and requires so much attention. It breaks my heart to have to stand by and watch the gap between him and our daughters grow day by day.

The eldest is at an age where she needs a hero-dad more than ever; someone who will listen to what she has to say but offer protection from things that are still scary to a young girl. They are so alike, and perhaps that is why they seem to argue all the time. She's becoming resentful.

PreTeen Girl is Papa's little computer nerd. They both love music and computer games and messing around with graphics in Photoshop (yes, my 12 yo can "do" Photoshop). And yet I can't get the two of them together.

He has spent so little time with the Amazing Danibear , her level of tolerance for him is that she will allow him to take her to the store, because she knows he will buy her candy and she adores riding in the car. Last night, I was working on some text and she wanted me to read her favorite book, "Baby Koala Finds A Home". He offered to read it and she screamed; I handed him the book, hoping to coax her into it but she grabbed it from him and ran!

Please don't get me wrong; Gunnar is a good provider, a decent man with a gentle heart. He blesses each one on Shabbat (and you should see their eyes light up when he does). He tries to give them material things that he thinks is their hearts' desires. I know that if I dishonor my husband, I dishonor myself. But what I'm wanting to stress here is that daughters need daddys too; I can only give him gentle prodding and pray much in silence that he will one day be the father God created him to be. In the meantime, I see the loneliness and hurt in our daughter's eyes ...

Please, Dads, be involved with your daughters. They don't need your gifts so much as they need the gift of YOU.