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On the evening of January 3rd, I was chatting on the phone with my friend D. Her stepson is getting married in June and she had found a dress for the wedding... but she didn't want to order it until the last possible moment in case she was/got pregnant in the meantime. No use in spending a fortune on a dress she can't wear. So I say, "Do you think you might be?!" and she said she was a couple of days late, so maybe.... but she doesn't want to jinx herself by taking a test. (They have been trying to get pregnant for several months now.)
This gets me thinking. If she is late, then I might be too.
As we prattled on, I checked my calendar. Hmmm... The one month I did not chart. No worries... I will just check my e-mails and figure it out! (I recalled that the last one was a doozy and I had mentioned I did not feel well on my FlyBaby To Do List that day.) Mystery solved. Nov 29th. There.
Ok. Well, this is not really late-late for me, but since my anniversary party was coming up that weekend... I figured I would just go buy a test and that would be the end (start!) of it. (For the last 4 years, anytime I took a pregnancy test, my period appeared within 24 hrs. It seemed a foolproof method.)
A little later, we took the kids to the store to buy a noteook Lovey needed and a treat for each of them as a reward for a wonderful first day back to school. M took the kids to the school supply section and I wandered over to the aisle where the pregnancy tests were. I picked up two for good measure. (I liked to keep a spare on hand. I know it is weird, but one of my little quirks.) I met them in the candy aisle. Lovey was in one of her infamous "indecisive" moods. She could NOT pick a treat. We counted to ten, we gave her 3 usually-acceptable choices, and then P'Tater and I went to the register... (The old "We're Leaving" tactic.) Still no decision. I paid for our items. By this time she is in meltdown mode... whining, crying, the whole shebang. (Oh so fun!!!) She ended up not getting a treat.
We got into the van and I drove across the parking lot to A&W because I really needed to use the restroom. It is a one toilet set up and always clean. I pulled into a parking space up front. I asked M if he wanted a rootbeer or a float and he said "No." The wailing continued in the backseat...
I took the test into the restroom with me. After completing my end of the procedure, I set it on the toilet paper holder and finished up. I glanced at the stick, and saw one line appear. When I looked again, there were TWO lines. Uh Oh.... The room suddenly got REALLY hot. Two lines.
So I find myself in a bit of a pickle. How do I explain this one?! The other times we had positive tests, I took them at home with M in the other room and he knew I was taking them! I would call him into the restroom and proudly show him the stick.... we would embrace and talk about this exciting bit of news. This was not that scenario. Not even close. He had no idea I had even purchased a test, let alone taken it.
So, I walked back out to the van and he says, "What, no float?" And I replied "No...I thought you didn't want one." He didn't, but he thought I did. He then asked me why I was smiling-what was so funny? I told him I would tell him later. (Of course I needed some time to think about how I was going explain the situation. Besides, it was unable to think straight with the noise coming from the carseat behind me and I would have had to shout anyway!) He insisted I tell him. I refused.
Apparently the couple in the next car over were having a make out session. He then asked me if I saw something "strange" in the bathroom. "Well, kind of", I said. He looked over to the next car and asked me if I saw a couple in there. I started to laugh. (I was thinking I saw a couple of something, but not what he was thinking!!) Then he pleaded with me to tell him what happened in there. I repeated myself firmly- ""I will tell you later!"
The drive home was a bit stressful, with the whining and crying child... and the pressure of trying to come up with a way of breaking the news to M.
We arrived home and M sent the kids into their rooms to get ready for bed. He hung up our coats in the closet and joined me in the kitchen.
"Well," he says, "What was so funny?" I handed him the pregnancy test. He looked at it with a completely puzzled look on his face. The he says, "Did you find this in the bathroom?" I lost it!!! I think I would have peed my pants had I not already gone. Then he says "Is it yours?" "Yes!" I said. (As if I would pick up someone else's pregnancy test! That is disgusting...)
He stared at it for a few seconds and says "Two lines. What does two lines mean again?" I was unable to answer him due to my laughing fit and handed him the intructions. He compared the test to the diagram and mumbled to himself. "Two lines... positive..." Then he looked up at me with that same confused look and said "What does this mean?" And then it registered. (Finally!) "You're pregnant?" he asked. Yes. It looks that way... Then he says, "After all this time?" I guess so!
He then turned around and placed both hands on the kitchen counter to steady himself. He began to sway ever so slightly and I recognized the "zombie" stare. I knew I had lost him. In such times it is better to just leave him alone and he'll come back to Earth in his own time.
I went back to our bedroom to get ready for bed. The kids beckoned and he somehow made it through the bedtime ritual in a daze. He stumbled back into our bedroom, looked at me and I asked him, "So... What do you think?" He startled like he had been slapped in the face. He was back from outer space! "Oh Honey. Come here!" He gave me a big hug and we began to laugh.
I took the second test just to "prove" the validity of the first. Yep. Two more lines.
The full impact did not hit me for a few days. Once the initial shock wore off, I realized that this was certainly not how *I* would plan things!
I figured out that I am due sometime in the first part of Sept. (I don't like the idea of a due date. The doctor I used with P'Tater gave me a 10 day "range" and it was much better emotionally for me.) What this means is I have the privilege of experiencing a Central Valley summer pregnancy and delivery. Oh joy. Both of the kids were born in springtime in a very mild climate. I am still not used to the 110 degree days and 95 degree nights here... How will I endure that final trimester??? Oh! And that is precisely when the school year starts for our charter school. This should be interesting...
Plus, we had just changed our medical insurance plan 2 weeks prior to finding out we were expecting. The new plan has an insanely high deductible. This could be a major problem financially.
But... I figured out that this is another time for God to stretch our faith muscles. Considering we gave away the vast majority of our infant and toddler stuff- we are really having to depend on Him to provide.
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