I haven't been able to login for quite some time now, and I've finally got that fixed but I seem to have trouble quite often. If you can't find me here, I just wanted to post the link to my 'regular' journal.

http://amotherslove.bravewriting.com/

At 3:30 am, I was running out the door in red pj's, hair all wild with a large broom handle in one hand and an ax in the other! lol What a photo that would have made!

I just fell asleep at 3am. I had been cutting out pads, and then watched an hour of tv to help me get to sleep. I woke at about 3:15 to Julia tapping on my shoulder to climb into bed with us. We fell back asleep, then at at 3:30am I woke up to Graydon jumping out of bed, and chickens squaking horribly!

Graydon grabed the big flashlight and was out on the master bedroom deck trying to see what was going on in the chicken coop/house. They were squaking in a way that you just KNEW something was in there. It was scary because we've found cougar prints around here lately, and one day the chickens fence was pushed down by a large animal and the cougar prints were around the chicken house. The cougar couldn't get at the though, since we keep them closed in at night in their house.

I go running down the stairs, looking for the baseball bat. Couldn't find it, so I grabed the next best thing. A heavy broom handle. lol I run out the door, and see the small ax on the back deck, so I grab that and head out to the chicken house. Graydon got out there shortly after me, and I gave him the ax. We head out there, and we can see the doors are still shut, so it can't be a cougar but there's definitely something in there, freaking the chickens right out. Graydon cracked the door open just a tiny bit, to try and see what was in there, without letting it out. The poor chickens were all freaking out, trying to shove their heads out of the door. I thought they would all die of strokes, they were so freaked!

Finally, Graydon could see a black animal in there. It was a MINK!

Graydon opened the door to let the hens out of the way. We step into the chicken house, and sure enough, he killed one of our girls.   I was so mad! I took that handle and tried my best to whack that thing over the head, but he got away from me and I missed.   He scurried out through a hole in the corner.

We spent the next 2 hours cutting and nailing pieces of 2x4's to cover up all the gaps in the chicken coop. At one point, Joshua (he came out when he heard Graydon run back in the house) and I saw the mink again. The little buggar tried to steal an egg right in front of us!

I will say, I am not a violent person, I don't wish any animal any harm, but to me, this is different. That nasty thing could have, and would have killed many more of our chickens if we hadn't heard it in there. Minks are part of the weasel family and are notorious for killing much more then they will ever need to eat.

Hopefully he won't be able to find his way back into the hen house again! Joshua's trying to figure out how to catch the thing. I read online that their fur is worth 82.00 US a piece. lol (no, we won't kill/skin the thing, as tempting as that is right now).

God is good, all the time. Did you know that?

For the past few months, I've really been feeling the Lord reminding me that I am to remember that even through this busy time in our lives, I need to live now.

For background info on where I am coming from:
Since we are hoping to list our home for sale by May 1st, this means lots of work. Not only lots of work, but the work needs to be done by my hubby. My hubby is not superman, and I am not superwoman (although at times I like to believe I am!) So in order for dear hubby to be able to do the work, we needed him to be able to take some time off of regular work. To do this, we needed for my business to help provide some income. To do this, of course that means I need to actually sew more, because for some strange reason, people just don't want to give me money for nothing! Imagine that!

So, back to the Lord reminding me that I need to live now.

For the past while, because life is so busy, I often find myself saying to the Lord, "Oh Lord, I just can not WAIT until this busy season is over, and we can just move, get settled and simply enjoy LIVING!"

Then I was reminded that I am to enjoy living NOW, not wait till later, because who says later will arrive? We are to number our days, not assume we have more days, but to enjoy the days the Lord has provided us with NOW. I need to create memories with my children now, not wait for later.

Well believe it or not, this was causing me a lot of stress! I kept thinking, 'How am I supposed to stop everything, to create some memories for my children, and enjoy life RIGHT NOW when every time I stop, it sets me behind once again and I have to work twice as hard to catch up!?!?'

So you can see how this was causing me stress.

I should have known better.

I should have realised that God, does NOT, CREATE stress!

So, yesterday morning, I'm sitting in bed doing my devotions and Joshua pops his head in to talk to me about something. So we get talking, and I told him him how I just can't wait until we're moved and settled, but that God keeps reminding me that we are to also LIVE now. Through the course of our conversation I shared how I don't understand how I am to do that, when life is SO busy, and there is SO much to do, and that every time I stop what I'm doing, I fall behind!

So we discussed that a little, and didn't really get anywhere with it, and just left it at that.

Joshua left and headed downstairs to carry on with his morning chores. A minute later I hear him saying something to Alesia in a silly voice, and she bursts out laughing, and instantly the Lord 'downloaded' a "A-HA!" moment to my being!

Do you ever have those moments? Those moments when you are struggling with something, not understanding it, and suddenly, something happens, and there is no better way to explain it then to say that God simply 'downloaded' the information into your being. Suddenly your heart, your mind, your whole being understands. Suddenly the blinders are removed, and you can see the answer so clearly!

God did that yesterday morning, through the laughter of my eldest daughter.

That was it! Laughter! Joy! Being silly in the midst of working!

Even though Alesia and Joshua were in the midst of their morning chores, they seized the moment to have fun in the midst of it all, and, created a memory, lived life, seized joy, enjoyed laughter!

THAT is what God has been trying to tell me!

He's not saying I have to STOP everything I am doing, stop our usual routine, and go do something EXTRA, on top of everything else we need to do! He's saying SEIZE the moment, in EVERYTHING we are doing to GET to that place!

Look what seize means:

1.	to take hold of suddenly or forcibly; grasp

2.	to grasp mentally; understand clearly and completely.

3.	to take possession of by force or at will

4.	to capture; take into custody.

5.	to take advantage of promptly: to seize an opportunity.

16.	to grab or take hold suddenly or forcibly usually

God is not asking me to take on MORE, by going out of my way to do even MORE then I am needing to do right now. He is asking me to SEIZE each and every moment, and take advantage of THAT moment!

When I look back on my childhood, for some reason I can't remember a lot, but some things do stand out. One thing that stands out in particular is a time in our family's life when we were building a home. I still remember to this day, putting in metal ties in preparation for the cement to be poured. With that memory, I can almost picture the entire scene in my mind. I was really young still. I'm not sure what age exactly, but I would have been between 6 and 9 years old?? Yet, that memory stands out because I enjoyed being with my family, WORKING together, towards a common goal!

THOSE are the memories the Lord is asking me to SEIZE now! Working together with my children, towards the common goal of getting this place fixed up and finished, so that we can move on in our lives to our future home. A home we all dream of, and hope for. A larger farm with room for more horses, more pigs, more chickens, a large garden, and simply room to run around with said animals. To enjoy the simple life.

Until then, God wants us to enjoy our 'complicated & busy' life, and to SEIZE the moments, the memories, we are creating through this complicated & busy time!

Praise God! He truly is good all the time!  

What a week.

Right now, 3 of the kids are sick and I'm sick. Not fun. I hate the stomach flu. Of course who doesn't?

The week promised to be a busy one. As I mentioned in my previous post, we began babysitting this week. At first, we had set things up that I would meet the children's mama each morning and afternoon to swap the kids. This really didn't work out so well. I should have realised that it wouldn't, but I really wanted to try. I thought it might be able to fit into our schedule alright, and that I could turn it into a positive thing, but it just wasn't happening. On top of it all, we got a bunch of snow so my van was unable to make it out of our steep driveway. The thing is so old and since we know we won't be moving it with us in the spring/summer, we just can't be putting much money into it right now. So Graydon wound up having to drive half the time because his suburban was able to make it out into the weather.

I couldn't believe how busy it all felt. I'm just not used to that anymore. I'm so accustomed to being home with the kids. The first two days I felt like I hadn't even seen my little ones! We never got any school done. It just felt awful. I even ended up letting them all stay up later then usual because I really felt like I had spent no time with them at all. That's probably why they got sick, lol.

Anyways, by midweek I realised we just couldn't go on like this anymore. We really want to be able to help out this mama and her kids are great. They fit in here really well and we do all have a lot of fun together but our homelife was really suffering and I just couldn't see how it was going to get any better if something didn't change. So I had to let her know I couldn't do the driving thing anymore.  I felt REALLY bad, and I struggled SOOO much before telling her. I felt SO bad, but I knew I had to do something before our whole life went from being a peaceful simple, home based lifestyle to one of confusion and running around. We really don't mind the babysitting, and really, it is Alesia's babysitting job. As Alesia's babysitting job, it's going REALLY well, and it's great for her to be able to make some good money to save for her new horse after our move. But, it was becoming a part time job for me, and I don't need that. My kids don't need that. I, we, have worked really hard to get to a place in our family's life where I can simply be at home with the kids, and not worry about doing a lot of running around to make an income. We've built up my home based business so that I wouldn't have to work out of the home, or go places, to earn a bit of extra money for our family! So as awful as I felt to not be able to meet part way to pick up the children, I knew it just wouldn't work to keep going the way we were.

So, their mama has decided to bring the children all the way to our home and that is working SO much better. This way, it really is Alesia's babysitting job. It's no longer a part time job of running around for me. It was so hard those first few days, trying to figure out when I would fit in homeschooling in between picking children up, and getting ready to pick up children, making lunch for 9 or 10 of us etc.. I knew that life would get busier once the extra children were here, but I'm used to that kind of 'busyness'. More children doesn't seem like extra 'work'. More running around certainly did though!
I've learned one thing out of all this. It's a darn good thing I have my home business, because I would sure hate to have to work out of the home again. I just couldn't imagine!  I think I would literally crack up. I'm just SOO not used to the hustle and bustle and being away from my children!

Anywho...

Yep, so now the kids are all taking turns being sick and of course I couldn't let them be the only ones! The last time we all had the stomach flu was this past summer, when I babysat for our neighbours with the 8 children. LOL Does anyone see a trend here?

Hopefully it will pass soon, and leave us alone at least until next summer!

Elsa's 9th birthday was this past week. On the 11th actually. For her birthday, she got sick 11 times! How enjoyable for her!  Poor girl! We still haven't truly celebrated. On Thursday (her birthday) we all decorated cupcakes, but she was too sick to even eat hers.  While the kids all played, she stayed in bed all day. We'll have to make it up to her once she's feeling better. She got sick a few times again today. We thought she was over it yesterday, but I guess we were wrong.

But, through the busyness, and crazyness of the whole week, I have been able to keep up with my morning devotions routine! I can not even imagine how nuts I would have felt if I had not kept up with it! I have really noticed a huge difference in my perception of things. I don't know if that explains it well? You see, before, if things weren't going well, all I would be able to focus on would be the negative. The positive would be no where to be found. It was as though I was wearing blinders. Now, even though I felt like I would go insane if things didn't slow down, I could still keep my head above water, and see the positives in everything. I could still feel ok, and I didn't feel like everything was negative and it would all pull me under. I had hope, and faith, that it was all going to work out in the end. No, we didn't get much school done at all this week, my laundry is now piled to the ceiling once again even though I did have it under control, my bedroom has become a mess again and I probably look a mess, but I have my sanity still, one of my children lays fast asleep next to my bed, my other children are all fast asleep in their beds, everyone is safe, fairly healthy, the animals are all doing well, and life really is good. Truly, life is wonderful. I am amazed at how open my eyes are to just how wonderful it is, even in the midst of stinky sick kiddo laundry, cleaning toilets and floors because little ones didn't 'quite' make it there in time, it's all good. All of it.

I'm rebelling against my own 'tradition' and putting a kibosh on the Year in Review in Photos.

I don't really know why. I just don't feel up to it this year. If I review the year, do I include the good, the bad and the ugly? How do you review a year where you've grown in many ways, through photos? How do you review a year in which you had many people in your life, fall out of it, and then back in again, friends and family alike, in photos? How do you review a year where you went through a life attitude change because of a 'near death' experience, through photos? How do you review through photos, a decision to move clear accross the country?  It just can't be done, so I won't even try.

Instead, I look forward to a better year. Not that the last one was all bad, but it was different, very different for me. I don't think I've had so many ups and downs in one year since I was a teenager! I don't care to review it right now. Instead, I choose to look forward to the future!

There is much to look forward to this year. I began 'preparing' for this year at the beginning of December. Some things I really wanted to change about the new year was to spend MUCH more one on one time with God, much more QUALITY time with my husband and children AND use my time more wisely in my business.

Since the first week of December, I begun re-reading the Power of Prayer books. Today I finished reading all 30 chapters of Power of a Praying Wife, and Power of a Praying Parent. It felt SO good to get back into starting EVERY day in prayer! Out of 32 days, I only missed 2 mornings. This has made a HUGE difference in my attitude, my outlook on life and in my countenance. And please believe me when I say that I don't share this to 'brag', but rather to encourage! To encourage anyone who thinks they don't have 'time' to MAKE the time! This is one decision, one change, you will NEVER regret making in your life, and you know that.

So, for the past 32 days (except for the 2 days I missed) I have woken up each morning and read one chapter of Power of a Praying Wife, and one chapter of Power of a Praying Parent. After I read each one, and said the prayers out loud, I went on to write at least one page in my written prayer journal. In that journal I can simply share my thoughts with my Abba Father, whether I want to talk to Him about what I learned in the books, or share with him what I am needing help with, ask Him to forgive me for my poor behaviour/attitude/whatever I need help with that day. It's just a great way to start the day.

As for spending more QUALITY time with my husband and children.
As you all know, I homeschool, and my husband has his own business which means he works his own hours. As a family, we choose for those hours to be no more then 4 days a week, whenever possible. So I do get to spend a LOT of time with my husband and children, but just because we are always together doesn't mean it's ALWAYS quality time. So early in Dec., I had decided to go out of my way to spend more time with each family member in a way that THEY would like. That can mean anything from just spending more time listening to each one babble on about things that don't really interest me too much, to crafting or working alongside each one in whatever they are doing. Whether it's playing dolls with the girls, or laying a hardwood floor right alongside hubby, to helping the children with their chores even if mine have to wait. It's simply a concious effort of putting them first, and me second. I don't want anyone thinking thoughts like, "Oh but mothers put so much of themselves out there for their family, I'm sure you were doing enough already!" This is not true. I am VERY spoiled. My children do their share of the chores around here, AND they help me out in my business. EVERYONE in this family puts a lot of themselves into each other, so no pitying the mother here!

So, onto using my time more wisely in my business.
My business has really flourished. Again, I don't say that to brag because I really don't know how this has happened. Each month since HomemadeMama.com first opened, sales have increased. Every single month. I stand amazed. That's all I can say about it. I certainly can't take credit for it! It's got to be a God thing.

So, through this flourishing, of course management has to be at it's top performance! Orders need to be handled quickly, yet carefully. Customers need to be given care and attention, yet without allowing myself to become completely burdened by their needs. That may sound 'weird' but believe it or not, in my business, a personal level seems to come about quite easily between myself and the customer. There are questions to answer, concerns to care for, etc., yet I have to be careful to not allow myself to spend too much time on the computer! So it's a balancing act at times!

To make things just a little more complicated (but it seems I like life to be complicated!)...
My eldest dd and I will be caring for 3 children starting next Monday. Twin girls who are 4, and their little brother who just turned 2! They will be joining us Mon-Friday, so of course time management will truly be important this year, at least for this first quarter! The child care brings along one extra thing. I will be meeting their mama 25 mins away from home each morning, and 15 mins away from home each afternoon. Anyone who knows me, knows I don't venture from home too often, so this will be a change for me. lol I'm looking forward to it though. Change can be good. I plan to use this time in the car for a few things. Some days I can go by myself and listen to books on tape or worship music on the way to pick the kids up. Other days I can take just one of my children with me and use that time to focus on them when it's just the two of us in the car. I think it can be a great thing. Plus, it will get all of us up and going first thing in the morning!

Anways, that's the plans for the New Year in a nutshell (although a LARGE nutshell).

Merry Christmas,
From Our Family, to Yours!

Not a whole lot new here. We've been busy putting in hardwood flooring in our living room/dinning room area. We're very pleased with it.
This was the latest we have ever put up a Christmas tree though! Normally we head out to the tree farm on, or near the twins birthday on the 8th, but this year since we knew we were doing the floor last week, we waited until we were done. So last Sunday we finally got the tree and decorated it. I love the look of the new floor with the Christmas decorations. So pretty compared to the old blue indoor/outdoor carpet that was in the house before!

It's just 2 more sleeps until it's Christmas eve. We will be spending the evening with my parents and younger sister. On Christmas day, we'll be staying home and having our big meal. We'll open gifts from my family on Christmas Eve, and then gifts from Graydon's family, and us, on Christmas morning.

This will be the last Christmas I'll be spending with my family before we move 3000 miles away. On the one hand, I try not to think about it because I want to enjoy Christmas, on the other hand, it's hard not to.I just wanted to stop in and wish everyone a  Very Merry Christmas  , and a Happy New Year! 
I hope to do a Year In Review with photo's before New Years Eve like I have done the past couple of years. If anyone else would like to do the same, please leave me a note so I can come check it out! :)

On the topic of photos. Someone showed me a link to a fellow who took a photo a day all last year, so for 365 days. He plans to do it again this year. I'm going to try my best to do the same. I am blessed to have a wonderful camera now, and I LOVe photos, especially photo's that simply depict 'a day in the life of'. I know if I can pull it off, it would be something I would never regret. What great memories we could keep with just one photo a day! If you'd like to join me, let me know!

I haven't had much time online lately. I'm trying to get orders finished up by tomorrow or Wednesday so we can have some real 'holidays' around here! Hubby is off all this month, and the first part of next month, so he has been helping with the schooling. I'm finding that with his help, I'm actually getting my joy back in our schooling! Not that it was really gone, but it was fizzling a bit. It's really hard at times with 3 who are in the early grades. I find once a child learns to read very fluently on their own, the schooling just changes completely. I haven't made it there with these three yet though. It seemed to go much quicker with the first child. lol Of course not all children are going to read full novels by the time they are 6! (although I wish all five of mine would! lol)

Thank you for those who have been praying about the surgery I had the other week. We got the pathology reports back, and it was basel cell carcinoma (cancer) as I thought. I'm so glad I researched it when I did! It's very true that knowledge is our best defense!

So for now, it's been removed and that's basically the cure. My dr is sending me to a dermatologist to check all other spots. I have another one on my face that concerns me, and they will check out my other many spots. I've always had lots of spots, but so far they have always been simply moles.

This year is leaving me feeling kind of old. Before this year, I never had any health problems etc.. Now this year I spent 4 days in the hospital with that 'episode' and I don't get to see the neurologist about that for another 2 months. This year I started getting gray hairs, and now there are too many to count. lol (But I keep reminding myself that the Bible says gray hair is a gift!) Now this with the surgery. Suddenly I've gone from never going to the dr's except for routine check-ups, to going much too often for my liking! I'm too young for this. I'm only 35!

Today we celebrate our twins 7th birthday!

Here are some pictures of then, and now:

Only minutes old and in Daddy's arms for the first time. At this point I am still in the OR after the c-section.

Newborn Babes

Now! Seven years later.

Enjoying the new teddy 'cub' Joshua gave to Shaylah.

Big brother deserves BIG kisses for great gifts

Tomorrow we are taking them out for lunch at a play place nearby, and then on to pick out a Christmas tree. Since they were babies it's been a tradition to get the Christmas tree on, or around their birthday. We keep it up (if possible) until Elsa's birthday on Jan. 11th as long as the tree doesn't get too dry.

More photo's to come tomorrow, I'm sure!

I'm having minor surgery tomorrow (Tuesday). I have a spot on my forehead that the dr thinks may be basal cell cancer, and it needs to be removed, so tomorrow's the day. Oh joy! (hear that sarcasm?)

Anyways, would appreciate prayers as the thought of that needle and knife making it's way to my face is not very pleasant. Trying not to feel anxious about it all.

This week's favorite photo:

I can not believe that my youngest children, MY BABIES, are going to be SEVEN years old in less then TWO WEEKS!          

How is that possible?

I sat here and added up the days until their birthday. Then I thought, hmmm...they are turning 7. Then I thought, "NO WAY! That just can't be!! They MUST be turning SIX, they CAN'T be SEVEN already!!!"

Wow, time just flies MUCH too fast!

It really is shocking how quickly the days turn into weeks, into months, into years.

Today the children woke up to snow. That was so exciting for them! I think since we've lived here this is the earliest in the year that we've ever had snow! Normally if we get some, it's usually not until January. Hardly ever before Christmas. A couple of years we've only had snow for one day out of the whole year. Yet it snowed late last night, and then again today. Lots of fun!

The new picture at the top of my journal is from the view off my master bedroom balcony. Very pretty, especially with the beautiful snow making everything look so white and clean.

Speaking of growing up, I can't believe our third will be 9 in two months!

Another fav from today:

In other news, not much new.
This week I'll be working to get orders finished up. I have quite a few at the moment. Hubby and I are planning on both taking time off from Dec. 15th to Jan. 8th, so I need to get things done by then.

After Dec. 15th we'll be doing family Christmas stuff only! I've got some things planned. A Christmas Unit Study, some Christmas crafts, lots of Chrsitmas baking, decorating the tree, and sewing some doll clothes and accessories with the girls for the new dolls that are coming as their Christmas gifts. We let them pick out their own dolls, so it's not a suprise. We let them each pick out a Just Like You American Girl doll. For their birthday gifts we let them each pick out an American Girl horse, for their doll. That made Christmas gifts pretty easy! lol

So for their gifts for one another, I'm going to help them make doll clothing for each other's dolls. Even Joshua wants to make some doll sized quilts for their dolls. These dolls are pretty special, and we hope they will be treasured keepsakes for the girls.  Especially with the horses. All our girls are right into horses.

I also ordered a couple of books for them:

I think they'll love these. I KNOW I will. lol

I won't say what we have for the older two, just in case they do some snooping on here. lol

So to get back to our time off. We'll be doing lots of fun family activities. Dh plans to take the children skating quite a bit. I don't do skating much. I have this fear of running another person's small child over. lol I like skating on ponds and such, not indoor rinks.

Well that's about it for now. I think I'll head to bed early for a change and do some knitting.
Yet another new hobby of mine.

Favorite photo of the week:

Today we took all five of the children into the dr's for a check up. I had realized that they hadn't been to the dr's at all since long before we moved here. So since we've lived here for 15 months now, I figured they were well overdue for check ups! lol

I really like our dr. He's pretty down to earth and I like how he doesn't seem to feel the need to push stuff on us like vacinations, meds, antibiotics etc.. We have had our children vacinated, but it was at our discretion, at on our schedule, not theirs. We don't believe there's anything wrong with meds when one is sick, but we just feel there's no need to go overboard with them either and that sometimes they do more harm then good.

We've actually been learning a lot about some things. We did some research after a discussion hubby had with someone he did some work for. They discussed how some feel that a large part of the problem with obesity in our society is because of the hormones in the meats we eat. I can't clearly explain it all right now, but once I understand it all better I may.

I told hubby it could be true. Over the last few months I've been slowly loosing weight without really changing a whole lot in our diet besides eating all organic meats. If you read my blog regularly, you know we raised our own meat chickens, and pork this past summer. We also have our own hens for eggs. We found a small farm to sell us organic beef as well. So we've only been eating organic meats for the past few months now. That is the only thing that has changed in my diet.

Now one might think it's not a big deal to only have lost a few pounds over the last little while, but before then, I was always slowly gaining. Not pounds a week, but probably an average of a pound a month. Now I'm loosing about 3 pounds a month. To me, that says something.

Also, while visiting with our dr today (when you take five children in for a checkup, you get time in there to 'visit' lol), he commended us for how well our children are doing. I mentioned to him that some have said our children are 'skinny'. He told us that society is becoming so accustomed to seeing heavier children, that 'chubby' is becoming what they expect to be normal. He said our children are exactly as they should be.

He also shared about a study that had been done in the US recently. The compared average Amish teen boys, with extremely athletic teen boys in organized sports. They did all sorts of physical tests, endurance, fitness etc.. In all the tests, the Amish teen boys were MUCH more fit then the teen athletes!

I think we all 'know' that a truly healthy "Lifestyle" is going to cause us to be truly fit, yet I have struggled at times with worrying that my children may not be active enough. lol How silly!

My husband and I dicussed this on the way home and realised that there are a lot of teen boys out there who may be truly awesome in sports, but what are they doing the rest of the day? So often you see these same boys sitting around, slouched in a chair playing on a computer or laying on the couch watching tv. Sure, they may spend a couple of hours a day on a sport, but the rest of the time you can often find them simply 'hanging around'. Just because a boy is in organized sports, does not neccesarily mean that he will be truly fit.

Our dr also talked to us about supplements. We've often wondered about supplements, vitamins etc.. We've wondered if they were actually any good at all, or of any true benefit. Our dr explained to us another study that had been done with Vitamin E for example. They have found that persons who take more then 200 IU of Vitamin E per day have a higher risk of heart disease. Yikes! I have Vitamin E here and each one is 400 IU!

He went on to explain that vitamin E in it's true form is actually quite easy to obtain daily. Then he explained what happens with the vit E that is bottled. He went on to explain how true vit E looks under a microscope. There are 8 perfect components (can't remember the scientific name lol) when you immediately remove it from say, a potato. If you were to bottle that for even one day, those components start to die off, and the molecules are no longer perfect anymore.

So, he went on to explain that when we take a vit E capsule, and eat a potato, our body isn't picky about which vit E it absorbs and it may very well absorb the not perfect vit E over the perfect vit E in the food we eat.

Well, that certainly made sense!

Hopefully I explained it here well enough to make sense also. lol

He also shared that men who take too much calcium have been found to have prostate problems. Hmmm...not good.

So we learned a lot at our dr's visit today.

I have no problem accepting that the children are getting enough vitamins in the foods they eat. All our children eat very well. They all love fruits and veggies, dairy products and meats. I know all of them get a good balance. I do need to work on my own diet though. Lately my daily intake has consisted of 2 pieces of toast mid morning, possibly a piece of fruit sometime during the day, dinner, and then two pieces of toast later in the evening. I've been eating like this for years now. Probably not the healthiest diet! I need to up my fruits, veggies and dairy intake. I'm not big on milk and cheese, but I do like yogurt and I should be eating it with some all bran or something.

But, enough rambling about all that. Monday I get to go in for a complete check up. Oh joy, oh joy. My what fun.

In other news...

We are considering building our next home!

We have our eye on a piece of property that is 72.5 acres in the area we are moving to.

The property is completely affordable for us too. We just have to work out details about where we would live for a year or so while we build. We may be able to swing though and we are trying to work out some of the details. If some things get ironed out, I'll share more when I can.

We've always wanted to build, but never thought it could possibly be an achievable dream for us. The funny thing is, years ago hubby and I were looking at some building plans. There was one in particular that we both REALLY liked. We're quite picky when it comes to the lay out of a house. I HATE wasted space in a house. I've always said I would LOVe to build my own home, and be able to choose the lay out so there would be NO wasted space. Well this plan we found years ago had no wasted space. We found this plan when Alesia was only about 3, and Joshua was just a baby, yet the plan has four bedrooms! Exactly what we want! There's an open kitchen with a breakfast area and the whole thing is open to the family room. I have ALWAYS loved this concept. We love having a nice dinning room and living room for when we have company, but I've also loved having a really homey area for the family to hang out in.

The only problem with the plans we've been hanging onto for all these years, is it's 2600 square feet. We want to keep the home we build to under 2000 square feet. So I will be on the lookout for a home that is JUST like this one, but with each room just a bit smaller. I may have to show the plans to my dad as he knows what he's doing when it comes to drafting. Maybe he could come up with some suggestions.

So, that's the biggest excitement for us right now. When Graydon first brought up the idea to me, I was a little hesitant because I've been dreaming of a nice big old home. Yet, when I really started to think about it, I realised we could build our home and add the special little things we love about an old home. It really would be something else to build a home just the way we want it! To have a hobby room just how we want it, big enough for the 'mens' train hobby AND the 'ladies' sewing hobby. To be able to put in special things like built in bookshelves for my (our) book addiction(s). We could even put in a special cabinet in our breakfast nook for school books! That way when we do school in the kitchen at the table (which we usually end up doing), we can hide things away once we are done.

Yes, I think building our own home could really be a lot of fun. I think it could be a WONDERFUL learning opportunity for all the kids as well.  We'll just have to see how everything works out, and keep praying about it all.

I've been playing around with my telephoto lens and took some pictures of my horse.

I am forever amazed that she is mine.

Today hubby took 3 of the kids on a day trip. The eldest two and one of the twins. Since I only had the two kids at home with me all day, I decided to get some deep cleaning and organizing done (well, started, half done, whatever you want to call it lol).

Is deep cleaning and organizing in a small home with 7 people ever truly done?

I actually began some packing today. Yes, packing. Yes, I know we are not moving for quite some time yet but we needed some more space around here. I packed up all my summer fabrics that I know I won't use before we move. As I explained to dear hubby, the closer we get to moving, the less time I'll have for sewing. I'm sure if I do have time for sewing as we come nearer to our listing date, it will mostly be business related. So, why bother tripping over summer fabrics for the next 6 months?

Making such a big move is difficult in some ways. It's not like when one makes a local move. You know that it's going to cost more, so you really have to ask yourself what is worth moving, and what is not. But then an item's "worth" can be measured in many different ways.
Take our livingroom set for example. On the one hand, it's heavy and we know it will cost us a fair amount to move it. So we've gone back and forth on the idea of selling it now. On the one hand, it would free up floor space in our tiny home so the kids could play. We really don't sit in our living room very often. Usually we sit around the table.
On the other hand though, the set was a gift to ourselves when we finally sold our first home and we were able to move onto having just one house payment instead of paying rent in one, and a mortgage in another. We picked out our livingroom set very carefully and we knew just what we wanted. The couch and chair were custom made, to OUR taste. We live our livingroom furniture, and while it is covered in blankets to protect it right now, I would love to be able to enjoy it in a nice living room again one day. So do we sell it, obviously at a loss because no one is going to buy a used couch at new prices. Or do we keep it, move it and enjoy it in our new home.

To me, the decision wasn't so tough. lol The furniture stays, but I may regret that for short periods of time while moving it to put in hard wood flooring. lol

We also have a piano. It's an old one-read VERY HEAVY. It's an upright grand. The finish on the piano is in need of work, but it's 'our' piano. It's the only piano we have ever owned. It's the piano all our children have been learning on since we first bought it for a fairly good deal 6 years ago. It may not be the 'prettiest' piano around, but it is our family piano. We went back and forth on that one as well, but I'm 99% sure we're going to keep it.

How do you put a price on memories?

Yes, these are just 'things', but they are things that our family needs, and uses. To me, the value is not in the 'thing', it is in the memory that the 'thing' carries with it. When I am old, and my children are grown, I will stroke the keys of that piano, sit down and play a tune, and remember the first times all five of my children played for me.

THAT is where the value is. 

I don't remember how much I've shared here on my journal about our plans for the future?
I know I shared that we are fixing up our home to sell in hopes of buying a 'farm' elsewhere.
Well, we continue to work towards that goal. At times it is very exciting, especially when we are browsing online as a family, looking at the homes and farms within our price range in the area we are moving to. Knowing that we could be debt free, including a mortgage, after this next move. Very exciting! We all look forward to the end result.

Yet, now, today, while going through the preparation, some days it can be very difficult.
As I shared before, our home is very small. Yes, we knew that when we bought this house. When we bought this house though, at that time we planned to live here forever so we were going to build an addition this past spring/summer. Even if we had only added two bedrooms to the house, it would have made a world of difference! We also thought we would have a cabin to store things in. So really, we knew it would be tight, but doable.

Well, since we moved in here 14 months ago, we have realized that we will be moving on and we felt we needed to be wise with where we put funds into this property. We also knew we did not want to drag on this transition for too long. That meant distributing funds in a manor that would get us the most profit for our money, not in a manor that would please us, or bless us the most while living here.

Ugh...
I really, Really, REALLY hate complaining about this. I KNOW we are really blessed to have this opportunity! I also know we are really blessed to have five acres, and a small hobby farm, while we work towards a large farm! It's just.... well sometimes it gets hard. Sometimes it's just downright difficult and my eyes start to wander away from the end goal. Sometimes I look around and my children sleeping like cord wood in a bedroom with only 8 square feet of excess floor space other then the space their 2 bunk beds occupy. I look at how tiny our living room and dinning room are already, and then we have them stuffed even more with stacks of hard wood flooring boxes waiting to be put down. I look at my son and husband doing their best to find a way to 'play' with their train set on the already filled living room floor. They push the coffee table over to the couch and lay the track on the bit of space they've made between the coffee table and the wood stove. Some days I just want to sell off all our living room furniture so my kids have indoor space to play! And some days I get tired of tripping over a bolt of fabric in my bedroom or the hallway. We have two closets in this entire house. No, not walk in closets, just regular closets. Fairly good size mind you, but considering my business and personal fabric stash takes up 2/3rds of one closet, it doesn't leave much space for clothing for 7 people, including coats etc.. We also only have space in this entire home for 3 dressers, one of them only being large enough for socks and undies. Some days I get really tired of fighting to get clothing for 4 girls into four drawers.

Some days, I dream about when we'll have more then 2 rooms again. I dream about a day when I'll have more then one small desk for my 2 sewing machines and my serger.I dream about a day when the children will once again have floor space to play on. A place to spread out a train track, or lego houses that they build. A place to let their toy horses 'run around'.

But most days, I do count my blessings.
Most days, I am thankful that we have a good roof over our heads. Most days I am thankful that we have a warm home, with a nice woodstove to keep it cozy. Most days I realize I am very blessed to have a house that is overflowing with family. Blessed to have a house that is overflowing with fabric, homeschool things, crafty things and even food things.
Most days I feel blessed, because I know that this is only for a season. I feel blessed that my business has done so well that I need to keep all these fabrics on hand. I feel blessed that my children are so creative that I am constantly tripping over their crayons, lego and other such things. I realize how blessed I am to have five children who are willing to sacrifice, and not complain about having to share a room. How many 15 yr old girls would be ok with sharing a teeny tiny bedroom with their 3 younger siblings? How many almost 13 yr old boys would be ok with not having a proper full bedroom, but only a loft bed built into the height of a stairwell? How many kids would truly understand the importance of sacrifice now, for a better future?! I know grown women and men who are not willing to sacrifice for even a short term to make their futures better long term!

Yes, most days I realize how truly blessed I really am.

But some days...just some days...I need to whine a little.

“We need deliberately to call to mind the joys of our journey.
Perhaps we should try to write down the blessings of one day.
We might begin; we could never end; there are not pens or paper enough in all the world.”
                                                                                              —George A. Buttrick

I love this quote. I snatched it from a friends Quote of the Day on her journal here: Lisa's blog

It really is true. We need to deliberately remind ourselves of the joys, and the blessings of our journey. If we can do this daily, it will help us through this journey, especially through the valleys and mountains when things seem to become too difficult.

Often times, when we are feeling low, it has a lot to do with our attitude, and our own thoughts. If we let them run away with us, it can be difficult to pull ourselves out of the little hole we've dug for ourselves. Usually we don't even realize what we've done, and we sit in our hole, wondering how on earth we'll ever get out of it.

This happened to me recently.

About every second year, when I start realizing that it's almost the twins birthday, I become quite melancholy. If I'm not careful, it can turn into depression. Only the twins birthday affects me like this, because of course they are my youngest 'babies'. I seem to do fine on the even years (2,4 and 6) but on the odd years, when they turned 3, 5 and now 7, it seems to hit me really hard that they are truly growing up, and MUCH MUCH too quickly!

Their birthday is not until Dec. 8th, yet here it is October, and the feeling had already begun to sunk in. One day I looked at the calander, and realized it was ALREADY October, and that Dec. 8th was not too far away. Then I realized the twins would be turning SEVEN this year, and the feeling hit me like a tidal wave.

I began to think a lot about their birthday, and turning 7 years old. It seems so old compared to 6 yrs old. By the age of 7, they really are not babies anymore. Not that they were at 6, but you know. They still kind of 'seem' like babies, especially compared to my eldest two children.

Meanwhile, in August my eldest turned 15 years old. That didn't bother me. I am really enjoying my eldest two grow up. With them, I feel free to enjoy their aging maturity! Soon my son will be 13, in just 2 weeks! He will officially be a 'teenager'. That really doesn't scare me. He's always been such a little 'man' that it just seems fitting that he's growing up.

Yet, my 'babies' should remain 'babies'. lol

I began thinking about how few years I have left with these 'babies'. How they are in Grade 1 already, and we only have 11 more years of school before they are done.

What would I do with myself when all these children are grown? Wouldn't my home feel so empty? So quiet? I felt I might go insane at the thought of it all. Lonely rooms, quiet hallways, no one needing their mama every 2 seconds! Oh I couldn't bare the thought of it all! I was litterally talking myself right into a depression!

While in the midst of my wallowing self pity, I thought I would ask some homeschooling friends if they sometimes feel the same way. What would they do with themselves once their children didn't need them any longer? What would the focus on when the focus was no longer on curriculum, field trips and nature walks!?!

I was in a panic, and I knew it, but I didn't know what to do about it!

So my friends and I began to discuss all this.
Just what WOULD we do once we were no longer homeschooling mamas?

For so many years, I've been thinking on what a blessing my children are.
Often people would say things to me like, "Wow, five children AND homeschooling?! I could NEVER do that!" Through all those types of comments, I would keep my attitude in check, and remind myself that this time with these precious little ones would be gone in a blink of an eye.

When nursing two babies in the middle of the night, night after night, I kept my attitude in check when I would begin to feel tired, and reminded myself that it was a HUGE blessing to have two wonderful, healthy, beautiful little babes to nurse through the night.

When feeling overwhelmed with homeschooling, the choices to make, and especially when teaching reading (which I find the most difficult thing about homeschooling!) I would keep my attitude in check, and remind myself what a absolutely WONDERFUL blessing it is to have these children at home with me, to teach, and to learn with!

All this attitude checking has kept me sane through many insane times.

But...it would continually remind me of how quickly time flies by, and how quickly these blessings would be gone. My mind was completely closed off to any blessing other then raising my children.

It's all I've ever wanted to do since I was about 4 years old! Yes, I remember wanting to be a mama when I was 4 years old. That's when my little sister was born. I knew then, that one day, I wanted to be a wife and mama and that not much else mattered.

So I've had to do a shift in my thinking. It was either that, or drive myself into depression.

I've had to ask the Lord to show me blessings I can look forward to as my children grow older. I'm realizing that the blessings don't have to come to a complete STOP once my children are grown. I know that grandchildren will be a true blessing as well. Different, because I won't be the one nurturing them. They won't come running to me to solve all the problems of their little universe. But, I can be a part of their lives non-the-less!

I was saying to my eldest that when she is married and has children, and all my children are grown, or close to being grown, I can cook a big meal and take it to her home to surprise her so she won't have to cook dinner that night, while she is in the midst of little ones and such busyness!

I can bake desserts, muffins and cookies, and drop them off at her home for her and her family to enjoy. It will be payback time for all the cooking and baking she's been doing since she was first old enough to try! Often times, at least once a week, she will make dinner for all of us. Even more so, she will bake for us all. One day, I will be able to return her help. Now I look forward to that day. What a blessing it will be!

I've simply had to change my way of thinking. I need to continue to remind myself that NOW is a blessing, remind myself of the joys of NOW, but in the meantime, I need to know that there will be peace for my heart when my children have grown and left the nest. I need to know that the Lord's grace and mercy will be sufficient for me. That He will be with me through it all, and as long as I keep my main focus on Him, I will never be lonely.

And, of course, as friends have pointed out, I know that it will be a time of renewing for my husband and I.
I don't dismiss that. I know I didn't mention the extra time I will be able to spend with him as the kids grow older, but really, we do a lot together now already. I really don't know how we could become much closer then we are now. Plus, as much as we love to be together, we also love our own 'hobbies' as well. I love to sew and do other crafty things, to garden and enjoy nature, he loves to tinker with his tools, work on his hobby trains etc.. I don't worry about 'us' as we grow older.

Autumn? Where? Certainly NOT here!

This was our afternoon yesterday. Far from fall weather.

My dear hubby blessed me with a new camera as an early 'Christmas' gift, so you'll be seeing a lot more pictures from me then usual, I'm sure. lol

What could be better then hands on learning at the beach in October!?

I married my best friend.

Then:

Now, after 16 years of love and hard work:

16 years and 5 children later.
Still as happy as we were the day we met, but with lots of bumps along the way.
I wouldnt' trade the last 16 years for ANYTHING!
I'm not just saying that because it's our anniversary either. It's the truth.

Throughout the past 16 years, we have had a lot of rough times but through my entire life,
Graydon is the one person who has ALWAYS stuck by me and has NEVER judged me. Ever!
He has always loved me, unconditionally, through the good, the bad and the ugly.

Now I think that's something pretty darn special!

I posted in my other journal about joining in on the 30 Days of Nothing. I'll add that here:

The view from my balcony in the evening last week.

The rainbow view from my balcony last week.

The same view last night.

I love spring! I really love summer, because I love the warmth, but there's something about spring that one can just not deny! The beauty of the first flowers. The night skies. The rainbows after a rain. I think I enjoy the 'look' of spring, but the warmth of summer.

Today, I am wearing my sandals. I love it! Sandals! Oh my feet feel so much better! They can breath once again. ;)

I suppose I should write about our homeschooling right now, but I just can't get past the weather today. :) I'll write about our week in homeschooling soon. :)

that country living is only peaceful, could never have lived in the country! lol

All winter our creek has been flowing like mad. It's as loud as a freight train at times, it runs so fast!

Well now that the rains have slowed down, the creek has quieted down some also. This past week the frogs have begun! One evening I sat on our master bedroom balcony, and I heard two frogs croaking to one another. Within two days it had to be hundreds, if not thousands. They were so loud you could no longer hear the creek. Now the frogs are as loud as a freight train! So funny!

This after noon while Alesia and our trainer took the horses for a trail ride, the little ones and I went down to explore the creek and see if we could find any frog eggs. I didn't figure we'd have much luck as I'm pretty sure they are all at the pond, and not in our creek. Sure enough, none were to be found. We did find a lot of rabbit fur though, so we didn't hang around in the lower pasture too long. Who knows what killed it, and if it hangs around down there. We know that a bear, and a cougar have both been spotted at different times over the years in this area so I didn't figure a mama and her three little ones should hang out down there with no protection for very long. lol We had the two dogs with us, but they are only mid sized dogs, Shelties. I'm sure they may try to 'save' us, but I'd hate to take the chance on their lives too!

So we came back up and decided we would try to get to the big pond over the hill some time soon with daddy along!

One year, when the twins were babies, we were able to get a hold of some frog eggs. We had about 25 of them. Out of the 25 eggs, about 6 turned into tadpoles, but only 1 survived into an actual frog. The older two kids and I will never forget the experience of being able to watch those eggs transform into frogs and I would LOVE to be able to provide that experience for the younger three this year. With the amount of frogs I've been hearing coming from the pond, there's GOT to be thousands, if not millions of frog eggs out there!

I've been trying to take some time each evening to just sit out on our master bedroom balcony, reflect on the day and enjoy the sounds of nature at night. About a week ago I could hear two owls hooting to one another. About two weeks before that, Joshua came into very close contact with one owl! He was so excited! He came out of the cabin on our property, it was dusk, and as he headed towards the house past a light pole (which has no light lol) he noticed something sitting on top of the pole! Sure enough, it was a large owl. I would have been scared, and would have stood there in fright. Not Joshua though. He had to see just how close he could get to it. lol He walked very slowly up to the pole. The pole is only about 5 feet high, so he was able to see the owl very well. He said he got to see the owl turn his head around! He thought that was pretty cool.  He came to about 2 feet away from the pole, and the owl flew away. He heard the loud swish of the owls wings and was so excited that he came so close to touching it! Kids!

Our horses are doing pretty well, but the constant wetness of rain and mud has done a number on their hooves. I hate that it rains so much here. They've been entrenched in mud pretty much since mid-October. :( We'll have to put in drainage pipes and some hogsfuel before next winter. I'm not putting them through that again!

We've changed things around in our days. We now do school first thing every morning, before I even have my coffee. lol I find if I don't do it first thing, often times we rush through it. This is the book work mind you. The kids reading lessons and work pages. A lot of our learning is hands on, and that gets done throughout the day. I like to get the bookwork done first thing though and this is working really well. The kids are not allowed to do anything else in the mornings before they finish their work. First breakfast, then school, THEN playtime outside. I've also begun allowing the three younger ones to do as many workbook pages as they want. I used to make them do 2 or 3, on their own they are doing anywhere from 3-10 a day! lol Actually, as I type Julia is doing yet another page! And this isn't a 'phase' either. We've been doing it this way for over a month now and they continually do many more pages then I would of asked of them. I have so many workbooks too, that I don't fear running out of work for them.Throughout the day, they are all given freedom to learn anything and everything they want to learn.

Alesia is writing two books. One is a novel, one is a manual of sorts. I won't share more about the manual simply because we do intend on finding a way for her to publish it one day. Even if it's only on a small scale. It's a wonderful idea, and a manual that I feel is MUCH needed for some.

Joshua has been busy working with Graydon off and on the last couple of weeks. He is given the opportunity to do his 'book work' at different times when he wants to work with his daddy. We feel hands on work is just as important as book work, especially for Joshua as he has always felt this is the way the Lord is leading him in his life.

Business ( www.homemademama.com )has been doing very well, but I've decided to slow down on the 'front' for a couple of weeks. I'm going to be working behind the scenes on my new site, HomemadeMama's Baby & Child, and I will possibly be joining another group of work at home mom's within the near future as well.

I'm looking forward to having some time to do other sewing for a few weeks though. I have plans to teach the little ones how to sew. We're going to sew teddies of their choice, and maybe some small handbags suitable for taking on nature walks. I also have fabric purchased for outfits for all the kids, and I have been wanting to set aside the time to get them sewn up! I can't wait!

During this time, Graydon (dh) will also be taking some time off. He's taking about 12 days off, so we may do some day trips as well. I hope the weather remains nice as I'd even love to hit the beach to take the kids on a scavenger hunt! There's also a lagoon not too far from us that I've been wanting to take the kids to. There's shacks there, with lots of history to learn. I'll tell more about that after we go.

Well that's enough rambling for now. I should post more often so I don't feel a need to share so much all in one post!