I don't remember how much I've shared here on my journal about our plans for the future?
I know I shared that we are fixing up our home to sell in hopes of buying a 'farm' elsewhere.
Well, we continue to work towards that goal. At times it is very exciting, especially when we are browsing online as a family, looking at the homes and farms within our price range in the area we are moving to. Knowing that we could be debt free, including a mortgage, after this next move. Very exciting! We all look forward to the end result.

Yet, now, today, while going through the preparation, some days it can be very difficult.
As I shared before, our home is very small. Yes, we knew that when we bought this house. When we bought this house though, at that time we planned to live here forever so we were going to build an addition this past spring/summer. Even if we had only added two bedrooms to the house, it would have made a world of difference! We also thought we would have a cabin to store things in. So really, we knew it would be tight, but doable.

Well, since we moved in here 14 months ago, we have realized that we will be moving on and we felt we needed to be wise with where we put funds into this property. We also knew we did not want to drag on this transition for too long. That meant distributing funds in a manor that would get us the most profit for our money, not in a manor that would please us, or bless us the most while living here.

Ugh...
I really, Really, REALLY hate complaining about this. I KNOW we are really blessed to have this opportunity! I also know we are really blessed to have five acres, and a small hobby farm, while we work towards a large farm! It's just.... well sometimes it gets hard. Sometimes it's just downright difficult and my eyes start to wander away from the end goal. Sometimes I look around and my children sleeping like cord wood in a bedroom with only 8 square feet of excess floor space other then the space their 2 bunk beds occupy. I look at how tiny our living room and dinning room are already, and then we have them stuffed even more with stacks of hard wood flooring boxes waiting to be put down. I look at my son and husband doing their best to find a way to 'play' with their train set on the already filled living room floor. They push the coffee table over to the couch and lay the track on the bit of space they've made between the coffee table and the wood stove. Some days I just want to sell off all our living room furniture so my kids have indoor space to play! And some days I get tired of tripping over a bolt of fabric in my bedroom or the hallway. We have two closets in this entire house. No, not walk in closets, just regular closets. Fairly good size mind you, but considering my business and personal fabric stash takes up 2/3rds of one closet, it doesn't leave much space for clothing for 7 people, including coats etc.. We also only have space in this entire home for 3 dressers, one of them only being large enough for socks and undies. Some days I get really tired of fighting to get clothing for 4 girls into four drawers.

Some days, I dream about when we'll have more then 2 rooms again. I dream about a day when I'll have more then one small desk for my 2 sewing machines and my serger.I dream about a day when the children will once again have floor space to play on. A place to spread out a train track, or lego houses that they build. A place to let their toy horses 'run around'.

But most days, I do count my blessings.
Most days, I am thankful that we have a good roof over our heads. Most days I am thankful that we have a warm home, with a nice woodstove to keep it cozy. Most days I realize I am very blessed to have a house that is overflowing with family. Blessed to have a house that is overflowing with fabric, homeschool things, crafty things and even food things.
Most days I feel blessed, because I know that this is only for a season. I feel blessed that my business has done so well that I need to keep all these fabrics on hand. I feel blessed that my children are so creative that I am constantly tripping over their crayons, lego and other such things. I realize how blessed I am to have five children who are willing to sacrifice, and not complain about having to share a room. How many 15 yr old girls would be ok with sharing a teeny tiny bedroom with their 3 younger siblings? How many almost 13 yr old boys would be ok with not having a proper full bedroom, but only a loft bed built into the height of a stairwell? How many kids would truly understand the importance of sacrifice now, for a better future?! I know grown women and men who are not willing to sacrifice for even a short term to make their futures better long term!

Yes, most days I realize how truly blessed I really am.

But some days...just some days...I need to whine a little.