• Nov. 2, 2006
Just some reflecting...
I know that to some my life is just utterly boring. That is ok with me because it is plenty exciting for me... God has had me on this path. I have no idea where it is leading but I don't have to know. He knows and I trust Him. I wish I had a little more of a picture because some days I just see what is right in front of me and, frankly, it is not very pretty. But, I know He is preparing me and leading me if I am only willing to follow...
Things seem to be changing around here and yet stay the same in so many ways. My oldest turned 13 last week. He has grown about 6 inches in the past 6 months and now he is taller than me. He is only ten pound lighter than me now. I am working on him being the same weight as me by Christmas. 
He is changing physically and mentally but we are still struggling with completion of work in math and grammar. I know he hates doing them. He would rather be doing music or science or reading. I am grateful he likes doing those things but he HAS TO DO math and language arts, too. He is growing up and struggling to find his place and be independent. We go through days when he is a smart mouth and a know-it-all. Honestly, I was just like that. While my Mom was here she noted that we are VERY ALIKE. Maybe that is why we butt heads so often. I am so grateful that Dan is part of his life in a big way. That is so good for the boys to have their daddies be active in raising them. I could NEVER do this alone.
I mentioned weight above. I have lost about 15 pounds since last January. I am feeling stronger and more energetic. I am back to walking/running during my weeks, now. I am eating better - still struggling with the sugar monster - but eating much better none-the-less. You reach a point when you are done having babies that you just say to yourself, "I need to get back in shape for good". I have reached that point. I will be turning 40 in December this year and I don't want to go into this new part of my life out of shape and tired. I have four children to raise and I need to be strong and healthy to do it. Dan has been losing, too. He has lost 15 or so pounds since June and his blood pressure is down quite a bit. We are facing some tough parenting years and need to be physically able to handle it all. We are changing our lifestyle and that has made a world of difference for us. The mental part is still a struggle...
I see the coming years of my life as a very important time. Things are changing and new. I feel like I am starting over in a way. No more having babies, raising young adults, going back to school, being called to different ministry opportunities...
I mentioned staying the same... We are still struggling in our little church. There are so many things I cannot share here. They would not be beneficial to anyone anyway. I just know that God is working through so much with Dan and me. I have no idea where we will be in 3 years. Heck, I have no idea what we are doing next week sometimes... I have been reading a book called Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald. I am about 5 chapters in and so convicted... He has covered the difference between driven people and called people. I see myself in the driven somewhat and that bothers me. I will defend myself to say that 20 years ago I was much MORE driven than I am now and that is encouraging. I want to live in the private world and not worry about the outside. I am not talking about withdrawing from society. I am merely talking about living from the spiritual - where God is speaking and working - and not from the external worldly ideas that are pushed upon us daily. There is so much more to life than the external and I want to explore that in the coming year so much more.
As the holidays approach I am thinking and reflecting a great deal more. November always has me reflecting upon blessings. It is a natural time to do such things for most of us. I am also looking back at the year behind and wondering what should change for next year. I am anticipating the Advent season and all that brings for our family. I am hoping to reflect on Advent more here this year.
Life is never really dull... not when you wait upon the Lord. I am not perfect but knowing God makes that ok. I don't have to be... He is made strong in my weaknesses and I have plenty for Him to be strong in.
Things... they are changing before my eyes. I don't want to miss the good stuff. I want my life to count. I want to make a difference and not just go through the motions. I don't have to rock the world. I just have to be obedient to God. I just have to love God and man. The God part is easy... the man part - not so much some days. It is all so simple... or is it?
Comments
• Nov. 2, 2006
I enjoyed reading your blog...
Posted by SmallWorld
My son is also 13 and is all-around bigger than I am now. Last year he grew 4 inches, and I'm wondering what is in store for this year! I like your perspective on moving into this next stage in life, when the babies are done and the often more mentally challening aspect of raising young adults begins....It's like a new aspect to a puzzle to solve every day....
• Nov. 2, 2006
Dear Leann
Posted by Robin
Hiya! I've been enjoying reading your blog this evening. :) How are you doing this evening?
Thank you for the sweet e-mail. You are a very welcoming and sweet person.
That's neat that you'll be 40 just 3 months after me. Did you graduate in 1984 or 1985? I graduated in May 1984 in Oklahoma City, OK.
I did so well yesterday and today with healthy eating and exercising! I am encouraged to continue on after a HUGE month-long October slump.
Well, have a super evening! Hugs, Robin
• Nov. 2, 2006
Thanks for Sharing
Posted by Amy Cloud
Thank you for being so honest in your sharing. I find myself in the things you described like being past the baby stage, a pastor's wife, home school parent and struggleing as well. I just found your sight and I will be back. God bless you in your journey.
