Posted in Philosophy

It is no secret that my FIL is not my favorite person on the planet.  I have really tried to like him but he is so self absorbed it is hard.  I have been praying for some time that God would allow me to worship in spite of him when he is leading.  Sunday was one of those days where it was very hard to focus on the Lord and just worship in spirit and truth.  I figured out why I worship so well when Dan leads and not so much when FIL leads...

He is actually thwarting the worship for me in what he does and not in just who he is.  When Dan leads he leads from the piano... often times so that no one else will get on that doesn't follow him well or that plays too loudly for worship to take place.  The piano is quite the percussive instrument and it is louder than the guitar that Dan has used in times past.  So, he leads from the piano with a little microphone in front of his face and a powerpoint of lyrics on the walls.  He puts everything on the powerpoint including the hymns he is using, all the choruses and praise songs so that no one is flipping around in a book and hunting for words to be able to sing.

His dad, on the other hand, stands front and center, waving his arms and hollering out numbers in books to find.  He cuts the instrumentalists off to let the congregation sing without them for effect and orchestrates the worship to fit what he thinks it ought to be like.  He modulates 4 or 5 times in a song for effect and the instrumentalists cannot even follow him half the time.  He manipulates things to bring an "effect" that he is trying to get and gets mad when people cannot read his mind and stay with him.  Oh, and they cannot follow because he never tells us what he is going to do or calls a rehearsal to practice anything... everything is a total "wing it when I get to church" moment.

Dan gets out of the way... he lets me worship the way I feel led to worship.  He provides the background music and I get to talk to God and sing to God and praise and worship God.  I can lift my hands when I feel like it or sit or stand when I feel led to do so or just weep in my little seat if I need to do that, too.  And.... he actually plans a set of music and has the power point ready to go when he starts with keys written out of the musicians and any new music is handed out before time. 

FIL tells us when to raise our hands or bow our heads or sing a certain way or time - men sing this verse... women sing this verse... now just the instruments... now the instruments be quiet... now the trombones... now the flutes.... etc....  It is so blaming distracting that I cannot worship.  I will often close my eyes and ignore him just to be able to worship in a private little corner by myself. 

He likes to be the center of attention... that has been true for many years in the way that he dominates conversations and gets mad when people won't listen to him even when he cuts people off to speak.  He is rude and it pours over into the way he leads church and worship.  This is a HUGE reason I have been so frustrated for so long in church.  I have quit playing my flute, do not do solos anymore or sing in the praise team time unless Dan is the only one leading that day.  I cannot take it and now I know why!

Just sit down and get out of the way and let me commune with God... I don't need your help!!!  Last time I checked my prayer and worship did not have to go through anyone else's approval or orchestration to be prayer and worship in the sight of God. 

Just my $.02 for today...