Well, true to form, I pray because I am frustrated and God says, "Let's see what you and I need to work on this week." Oh, this is so tedious!!! LOL Well, I am taking a head long dive into worship this week. That was what we focused on in our Bible study for last week and our message was on worship this morning. I struggle with worship because I am usually much too angry when I walk in the front door at my FIL to get into a spirit of worship. I know... I need to forgive and move on... NOT EASY!!!! She touched on forgiveness, too, and I know there is more to come on that in coming weeks. I so hate this... *sigh* I am ALWAYS the one who has to do the changing. *anotherbigsigh* I am going to be perfect when all this is said and done, right? I sure hope so... *shaking head and grinning with a big sigh, again*
So, life is moving along and busy as usual. I have a test tomorrow and classes for the next three nights. I have a full weekend again with football and running kids around. I am so ready for a slow week. Maybe next week... RIGHT!!! I think it is time for another episode of WHAT'S IN THE...
What' s in the...
Mug - hot water to clear my sinuses with a touch of echinacea and goldenseal (last day of it)
DVD player - Open Season (hilariously funny!!!)
CD player - a little Michael W. Smith today
Oven - chicken casserole for dinner
Reading stack - The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life - Hannah Whitall Smith and a copy of TEACH Magazine (which I should review by week's end)... oh, and a copy of my newest purchase called The Essential Guide to Hysterectomy by Lauren Streicher.
Garden - Shasta Daisies and some roses and mums coming into bloom
Kitchen VCR - some old episodes I recorded of Iron Chef and some Saturday morning PBS cooking shows
Purse - cell phone, pocket Bible, notebook, pen, billfold, list of errands to run, and a pair of reading glasses
Dan said, "Something has to change and I believe it is us". Pray for direction for us. I feel like life is about to change forever for us. Anything else I say at this point might be too much. Just pray for us... Thanks!
Listening to Aaron Shust...
Reading Psalm 42 - HCSB version
As a deer longs for streams of water, so I long for You, God.
2 I thirst for God, the living God. When can I come and appear before God?
3 My tears have been my food day and night, while all day long people say to me, ";Where is your God?"; 4 I remember this as I pour out my heart: how I walked with many, leading the festive procession to the house of God, with joyful and thankful shouts.
5 Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God.
6 I am deeply depressed; therefore I remember You from the land of Jordan and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls; all Your breakers and Your billows have swept over me.
8 The Lord will send His faithful love by day; His song will be with me in the night- a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I will say to God, my rock, ";Why have You forgotten me? Why must I go about in sorrow because of the enemy's oppression?";
10 My adversaries taunt me, as if crushing my bones, while all day long they say to me, ";Where is your God?";
11 Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God.
I have been a pastor's wife for about 16 years. Everything looks so lovely when you are sitting there in the pew. The pulpit is so clean and beautiful and the cross above the platform is shiny. The instruments are in place and the floors are vacuumed. The seats and rows are all in line and the hymnals and praise books are all in order. Then, you reach under the pew to put your bag down only to see where someone left a piece of gum stuck under the seat. There is an ugly side... a messy part of it all.
You are about to see the ugly side of my life so get ready...
Over the years I have become jaded and disenchanted with God's people. It is true... I am a heathen for it and I know it. I have these conversations with God that go like this...
"Father?"
God... not audible mind you... says, "Yes..."
"I love you..."
*pause*
"but I don't like these people sometimes"
So, then I read that we are to love one another. Some people are so very easy to love... like Miss Betty and Miss Chong but... You have no idea how hard it is some days to love some of the people I am talking about here. I am FULLY aware that I am unlovable, too. I get that... I am not a good pastor's wife and have a HUGE rebellious streak sometimes that makes me look at people with a "get over it" look or a "stop your whining" look. It eats my lunch some days and I know it!
Dan and I have become more and more saddened by the direction our church is taking. We have been questioned in some of our members tones that maybe we are not FILLED with the Holy Spirit. We are not the same as they are. Our theology is quite different. Recently my BIL has been brought in and he is from a very pentecostal denomination. We don't believe the same things on some issues. That would be fine except that I think it causes some rifts in our church and Dan and I seem to be more and more on the outside looking in at a very chaotic way of doing church. There is no order or structure. I believe God is the God of order and not chaos and I am troubled by this development... as is Dan. I won't debate all of that here because I know that we are not the same but Dan and I are feeling increasingly more uncomfortable with the direction that the church is taking.
We know God can do anything and I will never say that something has ceased or that God cannot do things that way but the unrestfulness in my spirit is enough to make me sit back in my little pew and reevaluate what I am seeing.
There is also a cliquishness going on and I have been on the outside of that for some time now, too. I am used to being on the outside. That does not hurt my feelings but I do feel that much of my ministry opportunities have been taken away because of the direction they are taking. I used to help Dan lead praise and worship and had to take a break from that because we had no nursery worker (and are now without one again) and I had to sit with my kids. No one sees the need for a nursery worker but then they complain when a child is a bit too "zealous" during worship. I don't teach anymore because no one wants to commit to study and attend regularly each week. I set up for church dinners and make coffee and tea. I enjoy that but I need the singing and to be a part of that team with Dan again.
I need the time with other women to really "study" and let God's word permeate us in a way that bonds us together in this journey... not a social hour or one of those WMU type meetings... you know the ones, where you read names from a book and go saying sentence prayers and have boring programs that are thrown together last minute and read verbatim from a little handout or book in droning tones that put most toddlers to sleep in 1.4 seconds, and there is ALWAYS the woman who keeps you TOTALLY off topic for the duration. You KNOW what I am talking about...
Then there are the jobs NO ONE else wants that Leann would be great at so I am frantically looking for a nursery worker again because no one else wants the job of finding one and no one wants to volunteer to take a turn in the nursery. They are under the assumption that it is the job of the moms to rotate every week and miss the sermon and praise and worship time... not that I don't love my children but sometimes you need a break and some time to soak up some spiritual food outside your own bed at 5:00am. I have found, too, that when we do a calendar I wind up taking someone else's week to the point that I am doing three out of four Sundays a month sometime. I put my foot down and decided to keep my own children in church and not keep the nursery because I cannot be there every week like that and then I get criticized for not taking a turn. I cannot win... so I start back with another church for weekly Bible study because I NEED it.
Ok, so you got the ugly today and I don't expect everyone to agree with me because I have some issues God is working with me on because of my wrong attitude on some things. Back to where I started...
Loving one another... oh, that is hard! But, it is imperative that I love God's people because He said it is.
34 "I give you a new commandment: that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you should also love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35
OUCH!!! Taking the log out of my eye here... How in the Samhill am I gonna love them... The Holy Spirit is the answer because I am incapable of doing this. ...and not just love them but LOVE them like CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH. Be willing to DIE for those people. You should see the cringe in my brow right now... It is the same response I get when I tell my daughter to clean her armpit of a bedroom! I have some growing to do here... *GINORMOUSSIGH*
actually, several deeds are done. The bathroom is clean. The kitchen is cleaned and shut down for the night. The blog is re-clothed. The most important of them all for today, though, is that the cable is off and the Netflix account is up to four at a time. We are done with network and cable television for this season in our lives. It feels good...
Eating...
Vegetarian Nachos - my own concoction!
* Beans of several varieties including some vegetarian refried beans
* Salsa
* Guacamole
* Sour Cream if you like
* Pepper Jack cheese (I did not say vegan just vegetarian)
* Home fried tortilla strips
YUMMO!!!
The book of Job is about a man in his humanness. He questioned, complained, had self-pity and whined and yet, he trusted God, he worshiped God and he loved God through some times that most of the planet will never have to face. He whined, complained, and questioned but he NEVER SINNED. I am not sure that I would not have cursed God and died had I been faced with those same things. I know I cannot live in the what ifs but it sure has made me think to see that Job was so willing to love God through all of this. There are days when I think God is not even hearing my prayers. I am not sure I have been as gracious in my response to God as Job was and I know I certainly have not praised and worshiped Him through some of it.
Before I begin I want to say that I know that life is not fair and this is not a means of complaining. There are so many things right in my life and that I am thankful for but I have been looking around lately and just noting how unfair life can be. I have had some people in my church that think anything that goes wrong in your life is because, somehow, you have done something wrong. They blame illness and money struggles on sin. They subscribe to the health and wealth prosperity gospel. They obviously have not read Job. That is just a lie from the pit of hell... We are a "multi-denominational" church with many backgrounds and sometimes the backgrounds are not even from the same planet much less the same zip code. It can cause some real problems and ideas that are just not biblical. Dan's goal is to teach truth and to weigh any idea in light of scripture to combat so many of these wrong ideas. People still want to argue even when the Bible is very clear on something. It is insane!
As I said, Dan has been addressing some seriously bad doctrine among our believers lately. There are so many ways the world has infiltrated the thinking of our people. So much of it is heresy and we cannot have that in our churches. I am seeing so much of that "wrong thinking" in what Job's friends were trying to say to him. They had some very wrong concepts of how God works and how God loves his people. I have been guilty of some of that wrong thinking myself on occasion. I have been battling a personal view of God that is wrong for some time now. So much of our ideas of God come from our human relationships. God is so much bigger than any human relationship we might have.
I look around at the people in my circle and see some very hard things. It is not fair that Dan has to deal with these blood pressure issues at the age of 42. It is not fair that he has to work two jobs just to pay the bills - no extras and still struggle financially. It is not fair that some of my friends have their husbands gone for a THIRD TOUR in Iraq. It is not fair that a sweet friend lost her grandson before he could even crawl. It is not fair that several friends have struggled with breast cancer. It is not fair that some friends have struggled with autoimmune illnesses for their entire adult lives. It is not fair that women have lost their husbands to cancer and heart disease in recent months. It is not fair that a 33 year old mother dies and leaves her children behind because of stomach cancer. It is not fair that a husband leaves his wife and two girls to pursue selfish endeavors including sexually deviant behaviors. It is not fair that a wife decides that she is bored with her family and takes off to be selfish. It is not fair that a wife has to live with an unbelieving husband that does not change and see that he needs God. It is not fair that someone is married for a long time and is not able to have children. It is not fair that a child is born with such severe deformities that they will have to live with their parents their entire lives. It is not fair that a teenage daughter is pregnant out of wedlock. It is not fair that some people live like the devil and never struggle financially. It is not fair that a man across the world decides that we are not worth anything and blows up a building full of people. It is not fair that a kid walks into a school and shoots up dozens of people. It is not fair that a child is taken and treated in horrific ways and then murdered. It is not fair that children are abused by family or that women are abused by their husbands. You can fill in the blank from your own lives of all the things that are just not fair in this life...
It is not fair for many many things in this life but I heard this quote many years ago... it is NOT scripture so take it as you will... "Fair is place where hogs go to compete for ribbons." It made me chuckle but it is so true - Life is NOT fair. It will never be fair. The day sin entered the picture it became imperfect. It is what we do with it that makes all the difference. It is who we trust with it that makes all the difference. Job chose to worship God anyway. Job chose to trust God anyway. Job chose to stay with God and not curse Him anyway. Job chose to NOT SIN. I cannot say that I have been that willing to be that obedient in the midst of some hard things lately. There is much to contemplate as I read. It is amazing how fitting some of these issues are for me and for our church right now. God's word really does get to the very heart of the matter and the Holy Spirit surely does use it to convict. I stand convicted today...
A few weeks ago I attended a retreat where God began to show me that He is enough. I have continued to hear this over the following days and into this morning as I read in Job 1-3. I do not feel it is a coincidence that I felt led to start Job today... There is nothing like reading Job to help you put things into perspective. I am humbled at how much Job had to face and how graciously he faced it with total trust in what God was doing in his life. I must admit that I have not been so gracious in recent months in the face of some issues. I have been a grumbler and a complainer. I have been angry at some things, too. God is dealing with me... It is not comfortable...
Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. 21 He said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD." 22 Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God. Job1:20-22
This is Television Free August at Nancy DeMoss's website. This is year two for our family to be a part of this. We are waiting until the end of August (until the recent pay period is over) to cut our cable off completely. Until then we are not watching cable. I wish they would refund our money for the month and let us turn it off now but they won't. Dan is a bit apprehensive about the season's new stuff but with Netflix we can catch all our wanta see stuff there when it is out on DVD and not have to put up with all the other junk in the process. It feels good to make this decision for our family!!! It is certainly a personal one... not saying everyone should do this, btw.
I feel some big things coming. I don't even have any idea what they might be but I feel it... God is preparing us for something. He is enough and that is the message He keeps giving me. I heard that no less than 10 times this past weekend. We are finishing up with summer stuff and taking a week away soon. I need that time to just walk in the woods with my Father.
There will be a marriage post and some other things this week but I am still in the process of finishing up final projects so...
I leave you with a song we sang in worship this weekend...
* God is enough!
* Forgiveness is important
* Work on you and stop looking around at everyone else
* Did I mention God is enough?
* There is a BIG plan
* Pray for Dan A LOT
* God is enough
* See God's focus for all that He has me doing
* Stop being so stubborn
* GOD IS TOTALLY ENOUGH!!!!!!
I am just moving this to the top as a reminder that I am starting with my challenge soon
(June 1st - December 31, 2007).
I know this is just "one more thing to add" but if you are so inclined to join me feel free to post a list of books you want to read.
Remember there is no set number of books to read just whatever you want to tackle in the next 6 months.
Then let me know (in the Mr. Linky below) so I can take a peek at the good stuff you are filling your mind with, too.
I have been of the opinion,for a very long time, that we, as Christians, have gotten away from foundational reading in our faith. We settle for the lighter more fluffy stuff that is being published today instead of sinking our teeth into the more meaty reading of our faith. There are some very substantial books being written today but you have to wade through so much of the fluff to get to them. I am challenging myself in this because I have felt convicted about it. If you feel like this is something you would like to do then I invite you to join me. No legalism (LOL)... no pressure... no amount of requirements... This is merely to just take the plunge at whatever level you want to read some soul searching books that can make a difference in your daily lives for Christ. This is totally in ADDITION to your daily scripture intake and not in place of. It is merely reading that enhances the daily devotional life. I know, for me, these books often take longer to read because of the time it takes to really chew on what is there. I don't rush through such books to just "reach a finish line". So, I challenge you to join me...
Just leave a comment if you like and a link if you decide to make your own list and then just share along the way what God is teaching you. This will be an ongoing thing for me but we will make it June through December to start with and then make new goals when we get to 2008. Sound good?
My starting list...
1. The Four Loves - CS Lewis
2. Freedom of Simplicity - Foster
3. Mere Christianity - CS Lewis
4. Total Truth - Nancy Pearcy (a newer pick)
5. Knowing God - JI Packer
6. How to Pray/How to Study the Bible - R.A. Torrey
7. Whatever Happened to Worship? - A.W. Tozer
8. Spurgeon on the Holy Spirit
9. Love Not the World - Watchman Nee
10. Basic Christianity - John R.W. Stott
11. Spirit of the Disciplines - Dallas Willard
12. True Spirituality - Francis Shaeffer
These are all on my bookshelf so I won't have to buy anything new but I do have one coming that might get added to the list... more later. Oh, there are so many I want to read but I will save those for 2008's list...
If you are looking for a list of classics you can check with your pastor or church library (each denomination will have it's favorites, too) or you can check a few lists online such as...
Christian Classics Ethereal Library - you can look books up by topics
Rapture Ready has a great list of authors and their lists of books.
I have NOT been a good girl in the realm of books. I am confessing it here. I am seriously making myself accountable for it. I have been buying WAY TOO MANY books lately. I have a TON that have not been read but I just cannot help myself. I think they call this ADDICTION???
MUST.GO.ON.SPENDING.FAST!!!!! I have a list of books in this sidebar that are ALL in my library and I have to read those FIRST!!! Oh, and MAGAZINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are SO tempting when I am standing in line at the checkout - and THEY know that! LOL I have such a hard time passing up the cooking ones. Call it an OCCUPATIONAL HABIT (and maybe hazard, too... )
As far as other things like yarn and fabric and kitchen gadgets and such I have been a good girl. But then I have not had time to sew or do any crocheting in months (other than sewing on patches and getting Emmy started on a few of HER projects). She is doing amazing with her crocheting. We have a new niece/cousin coming in September so Emmy is learning to make something for the baby but we have not bought new yarn. That may change if we take knitting lessons at a local shop that just opened up in our neighborhood. We will control this to limit ourselves to only buy a color for the nursery that we do NOT already have in stock and have a specific project in mind before doing so. None of this "buying just because it is beautiful or lovely and such".
The only kitchen things I have bought were for school and a few things I got at Mother's Day. (you can go see my gnocchi board at my foodie blog - I posted on that today) I am gardening in hopes of having to buy less at the store this summer. I am also buying less at the grocery store in bulk. I decided that buying in bulk for some things is just not practical all the time. Things tend to go bad when they get shoved to the bottom of a drawer or back of the refrigerator. That doesn't save ANYBODY any money.
SO, I am going back to the commitment... Use it up Wear it out Make it do
Do without
CLEAN IT OUT!!!!! (I added this one for my sake) I am making simplicity the motto for the coming 6 months. I am LIMITING my books to ONLY THINGS I MUST BUY for school. When I do buy something I will find the best price and buy it only when the budget allows for it and, again, ONLY if I NEED IT. Oh, and I must get rid of a book before replacing it on the shelf with something else. I already have TONS that I need to cull my books out for now... just sayin'...
Now it is in writing and I have to be accountable to you guys for this!!!!! Make me do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sorry that I left you all hanging. Remember the fleece I put out? The door was closed. The gist of it all is that Dan and I are praying for direction in ministry and God closed a door that we had been contemplating for three years. He could still open it... He is capable of anything. I know that He has a plan and a direction but we still have no idea what it is. I am sure, though, that it will require some real faith on our part because He has been shaping and preparing us for quite some time. He has been filling our hearts with desires and directions but still no memo telling us what we are to do. I love what Henry Blackaby said in his book Experiencing God...
“If you do not have clear instructions from God in a matter, pray and wait. Learn patience.
Depend on God’s timing. His timing is always right and best. Don’t get in a hurry. He
may be withholding directions to cause you to seek Him more intently. Don’t try to skip
over the relationship to get on with doing. God is more interested in a love relationship
with you than He is in what you can do for Him”
So, He has called me this year and for who knows how much longer to focus on discipline and relationship. I knew that when I started in January with my reading and study time. I just had no idea (and still do not) where this would/will lead.
I promise to let you know when we know... Your continued prayers for us are always appreciated.
I know there are people suffering far worse than we are right now but we could sure use some prayer...
We have termites... *big sigh* We will be trusting God for the funds to deal with this as quickly as we possibly can. I told you this was the year of TRUSTING GOD!!! He is sure asking me to trust a great deal this year in the way of finances...
I did... I put out a fleece... and God answered!!! Why would that surprise me? He always answers when I am earnestly seeking an answer. God is so amazing like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll share when I can...
Back to the books! I have class tonight and lots of prepwork for my presentations next week.
I have goosebumps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have an elderly man in our church that is outspoken and excited when it comes to Christ. He blesses my socks off on Sunday's when he shares what God is doing throughout his week. He has a little phrase he uses that just cracks me up and inspires me all in one. He says, "If that don't light your fire then your wood must be wet!" That is how I feel about certain songs I listen to. These are two that are in my play rotation a great deal lately... I cannot get through them dry eyed.
...no, not for food. Funny that food is not the most important thing for a chef in training, huh? Christ has a way of ordering our lives like that...
I am talking about a spiritual hunger. I have been studying through the letters that Paul wrote this year and have read Acts. It seems the more I study the more I want to study. The more I memorize scripture the more it runs through my mind throughout the day. I have also been reading about spiritual disciplines and the same applies there. I broke down and purchased three more books this past week even though I was trying not to. LOL They were used and less than a dollar each so I didn't splurge too much. I bought a book by J.I. Packer, Dallas Willard and one by Francis Schaeffer. They are going on my list of reads for the summer (like I need more reads...). I cannot wait to dig in...
My own copy so I don't have to read Dan's fully marked up copy... ;)
In the midst of all of this I have been praying so much more! I have been laying so many things before the Lord as I wander around watering the gardens in the morning, getting my daily shower, washing the clothes and cleaning the house, as I wash dishes and make meals and even while I am schooling the kids. God is answering in some really cool ways, too. I cannot share all the details but He is working ladies. I see His hand all over things right now. He has opened some amazing doors for me at school and for my family and our future as well as for extended family that we have been praying for.
I have seen some very dry times in the past year spiritually and now the water is flowing. Deep is truly calling to the deepest places in my spirit. I never knew that knowing Christ could be so all consuming!!! I hope my stomach keeps growling because I love feasting on the food of God so much. There is such an endless supply. I hope to be able to share some more of it with you soon. The one thing I can say is that the deeper this relationship has gone the more life seems to fall into place. God is so smart that way!!!!!!!!! God is so very good ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deep Calling Deep
by Margaret Becker
Deep calling deep
Calling deep
Calling to deep
Calling deep
Calling deep
Calling to deep
Calling deep
Calling deep
Calling to deep
In this ocean of my soul
There's a voice that calls and calls
Calls to You night and day
Using words I can not say
They are
Words of waiting, words of want
Without You, I'm undone
Calling to deeper love
Calling to higher truth
Calling to anything that leads me
Deeper and farther on with you
Calling to deep
Calling deep
Calling to deep
Calling deep
Calling to deep
When You hear me on the wind
Hope You pull me closer in
When you see me in the night
Hope You'll lead me with
Your light
I want to be near You
Want to be known
Want my deep to find it's home
Calling to deeper love
Calling to higher truth
Calling to anything that leads me
Deeper and farther on with You
Calling to higher Love
Calling to all that's true
Calling to anything that leads me
Deeper and farther on with You
Calling to deep
Calling deep
Calling to deep
Calling deep
Calling to deep
Calling deep
Calling to deep
I'm calling
I'm calling
I'm calling
Calling to deeper love
Calling to higher trugh
Calling to anything that leads me
Deeper and farther on with You
Calling to higher Love
Calling to all that's true
Calling to anything that leads
me back
Deeper and farther on with You
I'm calling to deeper love
Anything that leads me
Deeper and farther on with you
7 Deep calls to deep at the sound of Thy waterfalls; All Thy breakers and Thy waves have rolled over me. 8 The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; And His song will be with me in the night, A prayer to the God of my life.
I guarantee that people could go mad from being out in a constant wind!!! The wind here lately is totally maddening!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot even get out in the garden for a very long period of time because I am just so annoyed by it. The children cannot play out in this weather either. The dust and allergens are HIDEOUSLY AWFUL right now. The dirt is just gathering around all my window sills and door frames. So, we are stuck in the house. The problem with that is I DON'T WANTA CLEAN THE HOUSE. I want to play!!! I want to work on my school projects. I want to make yogurt and granola. My house is such a mess and it is screaming at me but I JUST DON'T WANTA!!!!!! The laundry is yelling at me, too... Ok, so I will run a load and fold a few things while I watch a gardening video I got from Netflix this week. That will make me feel better about it all...
We did get out this morning to get some errands run. I had to make a trip up to the campus where I go to school to get some paperwork out of the way. I am applying for the Julia Child Memorial Scholarship and had to get some things done for that. One of my instructors recommended that I apply for this. I currently have everything except my last letter of recommendation.
I also changed my degree plan. I made it LONGER!!! LOL I updated to the current degree plan for Culinary Arts which adds a few more classes and added the Pastry Chef program. That means I will be getting two degrees by the time I am done. I am going to be in school for the next 10 years!!!!! ...but I am loving it SO MUCH I would be willing to stay forever. I am having the time of my life in school. I feel like my creativity is being tapped into for the first time in years.
Being a mommy is rewarding in many ways but it is draining in many ways, too. I needed an outlet so badly and something that could be JUST MINE and that I could be successful in. I found it with culinary school and would not trade my life for anyone else's ON THE PLANET!!! I stay busy but love it so much.
We have such a limited time on this earth and I believe God has a plan for each of His children's lives. I feel so amazingly blessed to have found mine at this point in my life. I know that I have been put here to minister to my husband and care for him and to raise the four blessings God has put in my home. That all has never been in question for me. The thing I have searched for is personal ministry. I have always known that there is something that was just MY CALL outside of my family. I have found it is very satisfying to have this outlet. When God pushed me out of my little box and my little isolated life I had no idea I would be back in school learning and growing and creating beautiful food as well as witnessing to the world of college students. It is hard work. It is rewarding work. I am meeting needs and providing a very valid service. I feel like I am being used for good. God is so very smart... I am so glad He loves His dusty little creations enough to bless us so fully!!!!! I want to make my life count while there is still breath in this earthen vessel.
19 By the sweatof your faceYou will eatbread, Tillyou returnto the ground, Becausefrom it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dustyou shall return."
Gen 3:19 (NASB95)
Jesus is our hope...
and our way to make a difference in this life.
Our dusty existence can be more than passing if only we know the Creator...
6 For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness,"
is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the light
of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels,
that the surpassing greatness of the power
may be of God and not from ourselves;
2 Cor 4:6-7 (NASB77)
Do you have the treasure?
Jesus is the treasure and the presence of
His Holy Spirit in the life of all who belong to Him.
Do you belong to Him?
That is what Resurrection Sunday (Easter) was all about.
He came that we may have life and that we may HAVE IT MORE ABUNDANTLY!!!!! ( "The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I (Jesus) came that they might have life, and might have itabundantly.)
I am back where I started a few years ago and I am taking stock of all that God has done and all that He has brought us through and to. I am right back at the passage in Proverbs 31. I have had to do a bit of refocusing since January and make sure the main thing remains the MAIN THING. This is so hard when one's mind becomes consumed with exciting things that lie ahead. You know that I have dropped so many things from our lives so that I could do just what God tells me to do. I am at home with my children. I am homeschooling my children. I am being the helpmate (most of the time) that I need to be for Dan. I fall short from time to time. I get negative sometimes, too, but then God calls me back. He reminds me of what is REALLY important in this life.
I am in school and studying culinary arts after much prayer and conversation within our home over it. My mind is consumed with cooking and creating sometimes and I have to make a definite effort not to neglect things sometimes. I have cut way back on my computer time to help with this. We have not taken any outside activities with homeschool groups because of this and I am not going to a Bible study outside of our church because of this. We limit trips out and shopping excursions so that we can focus on the task at hand in our home. I hop online and offline quickly to check e-mail and/or blog if need be. I include the children in chores and cooking tasks so that they learn some things I did not as a child. We limit their outside activities to a few small things a week so they are not overwhelmed by it all. I limit my study time and such to times when the children are napping or when Dan is not in need of me. I sneak it all in where I can and that makes for a full, full, FULL day most of the time. Here is what I see now...
10 Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,and he will not lack anything good.12 She rewards him with good, not evil,all the days of her life.
Here is what Dan says...
* He loves my food
* I am cooking to benefit his health and he LOVES that I am taking it all to heart and looking out for his health. He knows I love him and that is why I do it. He says he does not want to be a burden to anyone but I tell him I would rather do this than live without him so he needs to sit down and eat his celery... LOL
* He trusts me to take care of him in this way and has been made slimmer and stronger for it. We are also praying that the BP will be made better soon for it, too.
* God has taught me to bring him good and bless my darling husband through these trials.
* The home still needs work but he says that he sees improvement each day and that makes my heart glad. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with willing hands.14 She is like the merchant ships,bringing her food from far away.15 She rises while it is still nightand provides food for her householdand portions for her servants. 16 She evaluates a field and buys it;she plants a vineyard with her earnings. 17 She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong. 18 She sees that her profits are good,and her lamp never goes out at night.19 She extends her hands to the spinning staff,and her hands hold the spindle. 20 Her hands reach out to the poor,and she extends her hands to the needy.21 She is not afraid for her household when it snows,for all in her household are doubly clothed. 22 She makes her own bed coverings;her clothing is fine linen and purple.
I am in progress on so much of this. God has taught me how to care for my family. When I married Dan I was so inadequate in all of this. I had barely learned to even sew up a pair of pants or cook a meal before I came into my marriage. Since that time I have learned to sew, cook, crochet, make a home and clean it. I am still learning to clear out the clutter and provide a safe and warm place for my family to come out of the cold world to.
I love what Dan said recently in a sermon. He said our home should be an Embassy. It should be a little Embassy of Heaven right here on earth that we can come to for safety and it should not resemble the world but instead it should be a place to escape from the world for a time as a family. Our churches should be the same for Christians. We are to reach out but we also need a bit of solitude and escape sometimes. Jesus went away by himself on many occasions to refresh and recharge and prepare for all the ministry that lay ahead. We need it, too. My job is to make a place for my family like this!!! 23 Her husband is known at the city gates,where he sits among the elders of the land.
Yes, he is... I have had three people tell me in the past month what an amazing man my Dan is. They were NOT women. Three men that find it a privilege to work with my husband. Three men that have learned and grown in their own skills and leadership because of him. I am delighted to be married to such a man!!! 24 She makes and sells linen garments;she delivers belts to the merchants.
I never dreamed (as some of you can remember reading) that I would have a real business. God is teaching me about this now. I have been a proponent for so long of NOT going to work but God has changed me in this. What I am doing in culinary school and in starting a business is just where God wants me. I struggled with this but you would not believe the support I have had from my husband, my children and my extended family in this. You should hear them brag and make me blush since I have started school. I know, boasting is not good but this is a good thing that God has put the same goals and desires in all of us for the same thing.
E(9) and I have had many conversations about providing for our families as women through this. She tells people that I am a Mommy and a Chef!!! She beams when she says it and then she tells them that I am teaching her to cook and sew and crochet and so many other things she will need when she is a Mommy someday, too. I think she is learning the right message here and it makes my heart sing!!!
So, mine should say... she makes and sells delicious bread and delivers food to the customers... 25 Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,and loving instruction is on her tongue.
Ok, so I still need LOTS of work here but I am changing and growing. I am learning not to worry and to trust more each day. I am learning to keep my mouth shut more and more and open it only to say wise things. So, I am not perfect yet... give me a break already!!! LOL God is so merciful isn't He??? I am so glad!!!!!!!!! 27 She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
Well, not NEVER but most of the time I am not idle...
28 Her sons rise up and call her blessed.Her husband also praises her:29 “Many women are capable,but you surpass them all!” 30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.31 Give her the reward of her labor, and let her works praise her at the city gates. Prov 31:10-31 (HCSB)
My family is so good to me!!! They brag on my cooking and Dan is always trying to stir up new business for me. They totally believe that I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for most days. They (and the LORD) are the reason I keep going each day. They encourage me in ways you cannot imagine! God has rewarded me with them over and over again - even on the days I am a royal mess!!!
As for the charm thing... I used to NEVER go out in public without makeup and such but with culinary school I have had to take off all the jewelry, makeup, extras and that has taught me to be beautiful from the inside - or at least strive for it. People will see that...
In the school setting I have had many opportunities to tell people about Jesus, God and faith. God has opened up doors and taken off my mask. I am laid bare more than I ever have been in my life both physically and spiritually. I have been spiritually challenged to stand up in my faith. I have prayed for people I would have never given the time of day to before (sad statement on who I was, I know) It is not always comfortable but for me it has been necessary. I am learning to cling to the things of God - to God Himself. This is the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do but it has been SO WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!
I am starting to see what the Proverbs 31 woman was all about. You can be all these things at one time but you cannot BECOME them all at one time. I am clinging... I am hoping... I am praying... I am listening... I am struggling some days... I am crying... I am laughing... I am finding joy... I am obeying... sometimes it hurts but... I am becoming... and with all the I's I just listed it is important to note that I do nothing in my own strength but fail. Anything good about my life means God is doing it all and working His perfection to make me what He wants me to become!!!!! He is so loving and merciful that way!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to admit right here on live internet connection that I am ANGRY!!! I am NOT angry with God or with Dan but I am still angry. I know this is a point in Dan's life and my life and the life of our family where God is desiring that we cling to Him. I am yelling at Him right now, that is all I know how to do at this point... and asking Him why, A LOT. Other people seem to effortlessly move through bad news and upheaval so easily but I struggle so much with this. I have never liked curve balls, nor do I enjoy being completely out of control... God seems to like to put me in this place to teach me to trust Him more and more... It is so very uncomfortable for both Dan and me to be here. Nothing we do works. It is all so out of our hands it seems.
You have NO idea what I am talking about here... I will explain...
Yesterday we made another trip to the doctor. Dan has been placed on a second medication as of two weeks ago and in that time he has lost two pounds and is COMPLETELY salt free (as much as you can be eating whole foods and whole grains and very low fat). The man has eaten bland oatmeal for two straight weeks and has done his best to be very strict on this diet of his. He is still trying to fit exercise into his crazy schedule and trying not to stress about all the money we seem not to have to pay bills and such on any given day. We have established that this is more than a health problem but it is a spiritual thing, too. The stress and worry are NOT of God. He learned the worry and fret part very well from his own parents at a very early age. They worry over EVERYTHING!!! I am rambling and blaming now... sorry...
Anyway, yesterday was NOT good news despite the two meds 20 pounds total lost and the serious changes we have made over the past two years. His blood pressure is not responding to medication and is still in the VERY HIGH range. To give the severity of this situation in plain English... He is at Stage 2 Hypertension and Stage 3 would be DEATH!!!
Ok, I need to calm down here... my BP is going up over all of this. He is going in for renal testing because we are now concerned for his Kidneys. His stroke risk is SEVERELY HIGH. The doctor wants to make sure there is no damage and that there is still good blood flow at this point. I see nothing but testing in our future to find where this is all stemming from. Dan hates this all so much and is more stressed over paying doctor bills, going for testing and paying for more prescriptions - this is NOT helping him at this point. I know I signed on for better or for worse but at least I thought the worse would not show up until he was in his 50's. He will be 42 in April... this is TOO SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We still have very small children and we NEED HIM. I am not sure I could go on without him... *tears*
Sorry ladies, I am a bit frazzled and in constant prayer over this. I know God can do anything He wants to do. We are praying for a miracle in this... I will trust God, I have no choice... He is the ONLY ONE who can see us through this trial.
Thanks for hearing me today... I don't want sympathy or pity or even advice. This is one of those times when we just need prayer for our faith, for our health, for our family. Thank you...
Today has been quite a day at our house. Dan is working on finishing up our new shelving for our kitchen and I have taken some time to clean out the old space for him to put the new in. In the midst of all of this I got a phone call. It was a lady from our church. She was offering some garden stuff to us and so I reluctantly put my other tasks on hold to go over today because this is when she insisted on doing this instead of waiting until tomorrow. Not the best for me but I decided to go and get it done for her sake. God prodded me along in this and I could sense that. I went over and about an hour after I got there we were wandering through her garden and she was showing me everything and telling me about how she had designed it and put it all in in stages. It was interesting but my personality is such that I knew I had lots more to do today so I was fighting the fidgeting. It is so hard for me to have leisure sometimes...
Anyway, my cell phone rang... I swear I had not asked Dan to call me and get me out of there (which I have been guilty of on occasion I am ashamed to say). He called to tell me something. He called to tell me something BIG!!! Three days ago I had prayed, due to our financial bind, that God would send someone to buy our second van. We were hoping to get about $500.00 for it and would have been happy with that. There was no "For Sale" sign on it but someone stopped by and knocked on our door while I was away. Dan answered it and a man asked if the van was for sale. He immediately said yes and took the man to look at it. He told him about all the work we had done on it and the problem with the oil and the engine and such and the man offered him $800.00 ON THE SPOT - CASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH.MY.GOODNESS.GRACIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He called to tell me that and Gabriella and I stood in her garden crying over God's goodness right that very minute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a TOTAL ANSWER TO PRAYER... It is gone... IT IS NOT IN OUR DRIVEWAY ANY LONGER... To shorten this a bit we now have grocery money, can pay for medication for Dan, can pay the rest of our bills and can finish the spring garden. ... and Gabby needed to hear this testimony today, too, she said. God blessed us and HER. She needed that reminder, too. GOD IS SO VERY GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just thought you should hear that today... just like I needed to and Gabby needed to.
No, not politically correct or even personal computer. I am going PERSONAL CHEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am involved in a move to start as a personal chef to one family and maybe two. This is so exciting!!! With a job as a personal chef I can work out a cooking day for both families and make a bit extra for our family as well as stil be able to go to school (and pay for school) and be with my family. Dan is VERY ON BOARD with this move!!! He is helping me think through my business plan and pricing with his accounting and finance background. This could be a very exciting thing for our whole family and our daughter is very excited to learn how to be my sous chef, too, but she has a few years before she can do that! LOL
Here is the reading for me lately...
We did get some bad news yesterday with Dan's blood pressure. He is not doing well even on medication and has been given a second med to bring it down. He has to report back in two weeks. I know the family finances is a HUGE reason he is struggling to keep it down. It is so easy to say we should not worry and fret but he feels such pressure to care for his family. I appreciate that he loves and cares for us so much but he is not well. We are working so hard to pay things off and get financially independent but there are months (like this one) when the NEW van had to go into the shop for repairs and then the extra expense of medication and doctors appointments never helps. I just pray this new job of mine can help him with the stress he feels. He is such a great husband, dad and provider and is home EVERY night for us. I could not ask for a better man!!! I just feel I need to help him more to get this under control. Of course, we are always asking the Lord to heal him of this and trusting Him to take care of us through all of this. We both feel that the personal chef gig came at the right time and we are grateful for God's provision in this manner. There will be no overhead or extra expense to get us started either. God has paved the way for this and we see that. I am just not sure why some of us struggle so much and others never seem to struggle with such things. Only the Lord understands what is happening and why. We will trust and obey Him...
For several years I have struggled mildly with depression. I have known it for some time. I just hate talking about such a failing condition - it's just a personal issue I have. Over the past few weeks I have determined a part of the problem. You see, it seems that I am a perfectionist. That is not new information for me by any stretch. Perfectionism causes feelings of needing to control things. As I have struggled to control things I have been guilty of not letting God control things. That is not something new for me either. I have known that for a long time and have been praying over that for a while, too.
Something has changed over the past few weeks, though. When we put J13 in public school things started to change in our home and in my heart. I alluded to that in an earlier post. Since that time I have begun to come back to life. I was sitting with the computer in my spare time and just vegging and sulking over the guilt I felt over J13 for such a long time. When I cried and cried and finally let him go it was like God said, "Ok, now let's get to work... on you". It was like I was ready for something. I have felt free. I have felt lighter both mentally and physically. The fog of depression has been slowly lifting. We are a family again and I am not off sulking over failure. We are talking and playing together again. I am plugged back in!
This sounds so neglectful but I assure you I have not been a bad mother. My children have been fed well and loved and schooled throughout all of this. It had not crippled me to the point of neglect of the family's basic needs. It has made me neglectful of the state of our home and things beyond the basics. I am noticing dirty floors and windows now and have been in a constant state of cleaning up the house. It is symbolic of what God has been doing within my own heart. He has been cleaning and purging my inner spirit. Slowly and methodically, He has been changing me from the inside out.
I am not saying that the computer is evil and that everyone should do what I am doing. I am saying that God has convicted me of this personally and, therefore, for me to be online for more than a few minutes a day is sin at this point in my life. It had become a stumbling block for me and that cannot be allowed. I had no idea how much it had been tripping me up in my own life and in the life of my family.
I have been taking time to read more, too. I have failed in reading the classics and following through with my lists but a new agenda has become apparent. I am still reading about the disciplines and evaluating the books according to scripture and I have been spending time in discussion with Dan on so many of these things. We are talking about scripture and theological things again and it is enhancing our relationship. I have also been talking to God throughout the day and it has been changing who I though I was. I am seeing that there are some much deeper things in my life that need serious attention. Being a Christian for more than 30 years has, at times, taken down a path of complacency. It is time to renew that relationship and let God show me what is next. It is time to let God have more and more of me on a regular (daily and sometimes hourly and minute by minute) basis. I NEED the Lord!!! I realize that this relationship is the most important thing in my life and when it is not right nothing else is either.
BTW, in reading I would recommend the Whitney book over the Foster book. Foster is a bit lucy goosy with some ideas on visualization. I think there is a post brewing on Visualization vs. Vision. We shall see... There is some good stuff but Whitney's is more Biblically sound in what he shares. I will do some reviews when I get to the end of each one and stay tuned for another book review from a sweet friend soon... I'll be around as I can.
I have started reading Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney. Did I say I wasn't buying any new books this year? Well, I broke down and bought a copy of Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline, too. It fits with where I am and the other books I am reading right now have mentioned it so I felt it was worth a looksee. It is on it's way...
I wanted to start with a post simply on what Spiritual Disciplines means. The definition given by Whitney is quite adequate and so that is where I will start.
The Spiritual Disciplines ar those personal and corporate disciplines that promote spiritual growth. They are the habits of devotion and experiential Christianity that have been practiced by the people of God since biblical times. Donald Whitney
There are several people who have written on the topic and have come up with different breakdowns of the disciplines. Carl Lundquist shares this statement:
The New Testament church built two other disciplines upon prayer and Bible study, the Lord's Supper and small cell groups (from Acts). John Wesley emphasized five works of piety by adding fasting. The medieval mystics wrote about nine disciplines clustered around three experiences: purgation of sin, enlightenment of the spirit, and union with God. Later the Keswick Convention approach to the practical holiness revolved around five different religious exercises. Today Richard Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline, lists twelve disciplines - all of them relevant to the contemporary Christian. But whatever varying religious exercises we may practice, without the two basic ones of Emmaus - prayer and Bible reading - the others are empty and powerless. Carl Lundquist quoted from Whitney's Spiritual Disciplines...
For the purposes of Whitney's book he lists the following as Spiritual Disciplines...
1. Bible Intake
2. Prayer
3. Worship
4. Evangelism
5. Serving
6. Stewardship
7. Fasting
8. Silence and Solitude
9. Journaling
10. Learning
Finishing with a charge to persevere in the disciplines
We must note that developing and having spiritual disciplines is not for the purpose of working our way to heaven. The only way to salvation is through faith in Jesus Christ. The New Testament makes that plain throughout. Whitney addresses that Spiritual Disciplines are solely for the purpose of Godliness (1 Timothy 4:7). We are told in scripture to be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2) and that we should have the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16). The goal is to be like HIM! To be like Him we study how He lived and what He did and we do those things. You will see that the first two on the list are the MOST crucial of them all. Without Bible intake and prayer we cannot know Him and know His will and His purposes. The rest of the list is an outpouring of the relationship we have developed through the first two.
Over the coming weeks I will be examining all of this in my own life and will share it here in hopes of encouraging others in this. It is CRUCIAL that we KNOW GOD and that we KNOW CHRIST. Without relationship with God all else is lost. You can do all the work you want but if you do not really KNOW GOD it is worthless. We'll talk some more about this...
Please feel free to share your thoughts on any and all of this. I am learning and would love to hear what God has taught you on these things, too. Share books you have read and thoughts you have. I would love to hear from you. This is a lifelong process and we, Christians(followers of Christ), are all on the road together - maybe in different places but still on the same path...
The thing is done. The thing I never dreamed I would face. When I started the journey as a mom 13 years ago I began reading books about homeschooling and Dan and I dreamed of homeschooling all of our children to a completed high school education. Things changed and over the past year we have been talking about letting our oldest go to public school high school. He had expressed that he wanted to do that. He is in 7th grade now...
Things had escalated to a point that I could no longer keep the peace in the home and have him here anymore. God opened the door last year for Dan to be a teacher at one of the best schools in our area. He went in December as the head band director. It was at that time that our oldest began to go with him for band functions and contests. He had already been exposed to the system through all-region band competition and he thrived beautifully. I could not figure out why he did so well in Boy Scouting and competition and band situations but would not do his work at home. Granted some of it has been the whole mother/son thing and pulling away to seek more independence. I get that... He has also needed his father more and more. I also get that...
So, today, we have formally enrolled him in public school. He will be going with his dad each day. Dan will be close by if he is needed. The situation could not be better for us to make such a move. In times past, our oldest has railed against this move. For some reason, he is now ok with it. He is ready. I am not sure I was but the situation was right and God's peace has sustained me in this decision. Does that mean I have not cried for the past week? No... I am still crying as I type this and will probably continue to cry at what has been lost but the things that have been gained are good, too.
Oldest has been going with Dan since last Thursday and a peace has settled over our day that had not been there before. I am pulling myself out of a depression that I was blind to because of being in the middle of it all every day. The other children have me back. I am no longer spending my days stressing over J13. There is a return to natural routines that we had lost sight of some time ago. There is a maturity in J13 that has never been there before. Dan and I have a renewed joy about things that came quickly even in the midst of my grief over this.
Will it be easy for our boy? No... He has some hard lessons ahead and will have to do the work to be able to compete and do his music. I am praying that his love of music will spur him to get the work done and make the grades. He is smart enough - I never doubted that. He is just not disciplined and I am learning that discipline is the key to succeeding in anything. We have done our job in teaching him about God and grounding him in faith. He knows the truth. Now, it is time for him to go out into the world and be a light to a dark world.
When God called me to trust and obey Him in this year 2007, I never dreamed it would be this hard. I never dreamed it would be this much trust and obedience this early in the year. Now, I will cling to my Father and lift up my boy each day as he goes out into this world. My daily prayer for him is that he will listen to that Still Small Voice and make the right choices. I pray that God is his rock and his salvation and that he clings hard to the Lord in the coming years in a way he has never been forced to in his 13 years. He has a whole army praying for him in this way each day. He needs to become the man God intends for him to be and I believe this is the way he needs to do it. This is not for every child and may not be for our other children but for him... this is the answer to some long hard struggling we have done in the past few years. This is a very personal choice that God has brought our family to and we will obey no matter how much it may hurt for a time. Ultimately God will bring glory from our obedience and I am clinging to that.
Most people started everything from their goals list by January 1st and many are already off the wagon, so to speak, with that plan. I determined this year to start all of my stuff this week. With the end of the holidays and getting back to normal somewhat and being sick for the past month I just needed to postpone things a bit. So, today I am starting...
* ...back on a healthy eating plan for my hypoglycemia - I have been reading books about perimenopause, the Sonoma Diet, South Beach Diet and two really great books for hypoglycemia and diabetes called Licking the Sugar Habit by Nancy Appleton and Eat Yourself Slim by Michel Montignac. The plan I am following is basically eating from Montignac's list of foods for phase one and using the Sonoma Cookbook, Glycemic Index Cookbook and South Beach Cookbook to find recipes that fit under the plan (most do very well). I love this plan because it helps me to focus on how my sugar is and how I feel throughout the day rather than counting calories or carbs or proteins or whatever the heck all the other diets make you keep track of. I cannot do point systems or calorie systems. I am just too overwhelmed in the rest of my world to think about such things.
So, if the food is on the list I can eat it and that is it. I am already familiar with portion sizes and know when I am full or hungry. I don't eat based on emotions. I dealt with those issues a long time ago with my personal training and aerobics instructor phase I went through. I sometimes take heed of cravings and ask the question why I am craving something and will eat chocolate or dessert from time to time. I am making better choices with those things. I still have about 15 pounds left to lose to be back to my prepregnancy weight from 13 years ago and it is SO doable. I think this plan is what my body can benefit the most during this point in my life.
The great thing about the list is that it lets me eat everything except sugar and white foods. I can do that!!! We don't have white foods in the house and we limit sugar to buying only when I need to bake for something special like Christmas parties we had to take things to. I bake with all whole wheat and whole grains so I control that part already. I am excited about this plan - more than anything else I have found - because it meets a need of controling my sugar and for me that is important in helping me to feel good again.
Once this infection has completely cleared up I will be back to regular exercise, too. I miss my morning walks and cannot wait to be back on track with that.
* The next new thing that begins today for me is the Colossal Clutter Clean-Up Challenge over at a Clean Heart (Amy - DandelionSeeds). If you have not taken a look at this plan you should. It is FABULOUS!!!!! She even made a booklet to go with it that helps you make real changes in your home. I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* We are also starting a knitting and crochet-along at the W@H board soon. I am hoping this will keep me going on some projects for this year.
* One week until culinary school starts back up for the semester... I am getting excited!!!
* One more thing is getting back to routines. We are working on that this week and today was a very slow start. I am still struggling to get going in the mornings with all the gunk in my head but it is getting better every day. I got up and had time in God's Word, journaling and reading Ordering Your Private World (almost finished). I decided to just blog on the whole book in an overview post when I finish. There is so much in that book that I might be accused of plagerizing if I put it all here. All I can say is you need to read it and I will post on it soon...
Good morning!!! Well, looking out my window this morning you would barely know that we got a full 2 inches of snowfall in our yard. It has all melted off and even the mountain tops are barely dusted with a bit of it still. Back to the desert and all it's warmth. We will probably reach into the mid 50's the rest of the week. We enjoyed it while it lasted though. It snowed lightly for about 6 hours yesterday and it was lovely!!! On to the goal making...
As I have thought through what I would like to see for this year I have come up with a list of 10 things. I have also decided to do this by months. So, that will take a bit of time and will require evaluation and revamping at the end of each month to see where I stand. It is all part of being more obedient and less in charge on my part. You see, God has really convicted me that I need to trust Him more and not rely on my own plans. He has also chastised me about not being obedient. This year's theme is going to be about TRUST AND OBEY (there is a song in there somewhere - LOL). That means I am not making a big yearly plan but will instead take it one bit at a time based on where God has me RIGHT NOW.
Learning New Skills
Start back up with learning to knit and see how that goes. (Keep crocheting, too, though) Gonna be making Granny Squares this year as my crochet skill for the first part of the year.
Exercise
Build the daily walk/run routine back in.
Lift some weights one or two days a week.
Eating Better
Building a good breakfast habit - build low glycemic breakfast menus and follow them.
New Habits (one for each month) - this includes routines and daily task habits
January habits - early rising, build the morning routine back up to get me going each day on the right track - oh, and prioritize to get the essentials done each day.
Bible Study Plan
I am starting in Acts. I will be reading Acts and then possibly Luke. I have also felt the tug to study Paul's letters this year but I will start in Acts and see where God takes me from there.
Spiritual Disciplines
* Finish reading Organizing Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald
* Start reading Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney
* Get up and study early each day before the children are up.
Personal Projects
* Start computerizing all my recipes as I have time to get ready to put a cookbook together by year's end - at least for family and friends.
* Build a garden schedule and start planning for spring vegetable garden. Make list of supplies needed for two new raised beds, seeds to buy and draw plans for each of the three beds.
* Make a plan for some landscaping projects in the back and front yard.
Business Goals
Read Start and Run a Catering Business by George Erdosh
Family and Schooling Plans
Get back to building our daily routine. We are SO out of our habits and routines. We will be getting back to schooling mode on January 8th with me starting back to school on January 16th. My culinary school hours will be a little different this semester so that changes our daily routine a bit.
I am a HUGE list maker so I will use this list to make my daily lists each day. I read a book a few years ago by Kathy Peel that uses 7 basic categories to make a daily list of things to do. That is kind of the idea I am going for here. I am sure a notebook of all my routines will eventually be something I need to do but for now I have to get the daily list under my belt. The Women at Home group will be doing the notebook concept this year so I might join in on that and take what I can use from the plan. I understand it is designed to be able to personalize it easily.
These are the aspects of my life that have become prevalent so this is where I will start each day. At the end of January I will take a look and see what worked and what didn't and make changes.
I have found a few challenges that will be able to overlap a bit to finish them. Now, I have not been very successful in the past few years with reading as much as I would like. Some of that is having little ones and some of that is poor time management. I am challenging myself to do more reading this year and less television and internet. With that in mind here is what I am attempting...
5 Classic by the end of February
1. Pride and Prejudice
2. A Christmas Carol
3. Little Women
4. Frankenstein
5. Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre
(not sure which yet)
Twelve Months, Twelve Books
right from my own bookshelves...
These have to be books that have been on my TBR list for more than 6 months.
The To Be Read List
1. Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney
2. Shepherds Abiding by Jan Karon
(no, still have not read it)
3. Light from Heaven by Jan Karon
(I know, I am pathetic)
4. Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology by Eric Bende
(I started it twice but never got past chapter 2)
5. So Many Books, So Little Time by Sara Nelson
6. A Hunger for God by John Piper
7. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
8. Blessing Your Husband by Debra Evans
9. Whatever Happened to Worship? by A.W. Tozer
10. The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis
11. A Woman's Place is in the Kitchen by Ann Cooper
12. Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell
This challenge is a culmination of whatever I can read from the lists above by the end of February and when the spring challenge comes along I will make a new culmination list.
I am only adding the following that I am currently working on or have in my stack from last semester...
1. Eat Yourself Slim by Michel Montignac
2. Start and Run a Catering Business by George Erdosh
3. Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald
4. Before the Change: Taking Charge of Your Perimenopause by Ann Louise Gittleman
5. What Your Doctor May NOT Tell You About Perimenopause by John Lee
6. Licking the Sugar Habit by Nancy Appleton
7. Renewal on the Run: Embracing the Privileges and Expectations of a Ministry Wife by Jill Briscoe
8. The Best is Yet to Come by Ann Platz
Other than the TBR list all of this will be updated seasonally and carried over as needed.
Sallie at Gracious Home has posed a challenge for the New Year. She is encouraging us to Celebrate a Year of Abundance. She is basing it upon an article you can read here. The family in the article are doing something called The Compact. It is a little liberal for me in that they are not coming from a Christian background or ideology but basically being a good steward is a Biblical principle that I feel compelled to live by. What Sallie and others are trying to do is Biblical and I will be joining them.
Here is what she had to say...
I am hoping some other people will join me so David and I designed a beautiful graphic for this year’s adventure. There are no “rules” to participate. Just decide to celebrate the abundance you already have in your life and write about it on your blog or in the comments here at A Gracious Home. If other people want to participate, I will put up a post each week with a link generator. Anyone who has posted about their experience can generate a link to their site where we can read about each other’s experiences in discovering the abundance in their lives. I can imagine that different people will approach this in different ways and that is fine. The goal is just enjoying and being a good steward of the abundance we already have and being open to what God will teach us individually along the way.
Sallie shared this saying from The Great Depression:
Use it up Wear it out Make it do Do without
Based on this challenge here is what I have made as my personal challenge for this year...
What I tend to stash…
I have a particular habit of stashing food goods, fabric, patterns, yarn and craft stuff and books. I am pretty good about using other stuff up and getting rid of things but those particular things tend to take up a great deal of space in my home. Keeping stocked on food comes from the times early in our marriage when things were lean and we did not have much in the way of food sometimes. We have plenty now and I tend to buy in bulk and stash things just in case. I need to trust in the Lord more for these things. I also need to use up all the fabric and stuff before buying anything new. I need to stay on top of projects before adding more. Lastly, I need to read the books I have instead of buying more. With that in mind...
I make a pledge to:
Use what I have already – not buy new unless it is completely worn out or broken
Be a good steward of what I already have to make it last longer and serve it's purposes better.
Practice spiritual disciplines.
Be thankful daily for the abundance afforded by God.
Pay off debt and save for things that are needed instead of charging them (which we do pretty well already but could always do more of)
Buy used or discount when I do need something.
Sew things instead of buying when I can.
Be more generous with what I have.
Plan menus and shop only for what is needed for those menus instead of hording and stocking food (the only exception will be things I have to buy in season or once a year like grain, chiles, cranberries, etc...)
Use the library for books we need for schooling
Find the best deals on grocery or other items and buy at those stores that carry them.
We already only eat out about once every few months so we have that covered.
We have gone to debit card and cash so we will continue in that to pay debt off faster. Spending and shopping for the sake of filling some emotional need I might have is unacceptable and I won't do it. I will only buy the basics that we need and no more. I will also be saving on other things like gasoline and utility bills by practicing some new habits of cutting back on unnecessary running around and lighting, heating and cooling and basically cutting back on utility usage.
We will also make a plan for things we need in the way of big purchases and pay for them all at once instead of taking out a loan or making payments with interest. This will certainly be done with a new refrigerator this year. We also make it a practice to pray over such purchases and wait on God for them like we did with the van we recently purchased.
Simplify by getting rid of excessive stuff in our home.
No magazines or other little extras when I go to the grocery store and no new subscriptions this year.
Use fabric scraps to make blankets and quilts instead of buying any new ones.
Plant a garden in the spring to supply part of our vegetables for the summer and fall. Try my hand at some year round planting to sustain us longer into the fall.
If it has not been used in the past year it needs to go away to someone else. We will give all things usable to charity as much as we can.
Don't hire work done when we can do it ourselves.
Keep cutting back on television - we are down to only shows we record and movies we have or rent from Netflix. We will be keeping Netflix because it saves us in a lot of ways. We don't have to drive to rent movies and we don't purchase movies we only want to see once. Plus, we can find movies that are older classic movies we can enjoy as a family rather than having to rent locally with all the junk that is being forced down our throats today. We also only have local cable so we are not tempted to sit and watch a bazillion channels we don't need to be watching and we are only paying about $8.00 a month for this service instead of $40.00 or more for lots of stuff we don't watch.
Spend more time playing games and reading as a family.
Enjoy the children while they are still living at home.
Be a good steward of my body, too. I will eat better and exercise to stay out of the doctor's office and teach my children to do the same.
Keep a journal of it all and write about it on my blog when I can.
Books that have inspired me in this...
Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology by Eric Brende
Welcome to my home on the web! I am a 40 year old SAHM (14 years), homeschooling mom (8 years) and pastor's wife (18 years) who is embarking on becoming a chef/pastry chef, and starting a small business while my husband is teaching school, pastoring and working on his doctorate in ministry. We are busy, busy, busy... but I still make time to share all of that and more here. Thanks for stopping by and please come again... :)
My own copy so I don't have to read Dan's fully marked up copy... ;)
Three men that find it a privilege to work with my husband. Three men that have learned and grown in their own skills and leadership because of him. I am delighted to be married to such a man!!!
