Nov. 3, 2009 - A Few Random Funnies...
No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth...Just had H1N1 (probably) -- you know...no big deal.
Ok, so it WAS a big deal, but I'm better now.
Interestingly enough, with writing some articles, various freelance work, and preparation for an Advent reflection at my mom's group fundraiser event to work on, I have not felt the desire (nor had the time) to do much free writing on this blog. Today, though, I just had to get a few words in, before they exited my pregnancy-addled brain, never to be heard from again.
Two stories about Baz:
- My little guy, almost 4 years old now!, was looking through the Family Consecration to Mary Book -- I think many Catholic moms know this one -- and he really enjoys looking through our various holy books/prayer books/pamphlets at the pictures.
Well, this time, he was looking at the words...He was pointing, naming the letters.
"M....E....I.....L.....R....O...V..." Then, a pause, and, this followed: "Velvet Painting of Elvis..."
Um....ok.
- I was out one evening for our parish mission, and when I got home, TallDad had this story. He was trying to keep the crises to a minimum, and was successful for a time, until he realized Baz was no where to be seen, and he couldn't recall seeing him or hearing from him for at least 30 minutes -- uhoh, not a good sign.
When he did find him, he had wedged himself behind the bathroom door, and was applying my make-up. TallDad said he had a uni-brow going on, made from mascara, and a wide clown-mouth lipstick! Right when Dad found him, he said, "I know, I know...I know I shouldn't be doing this. I"m putting it all away now, see? I'm sorry." Hmmm...that was quick.
I also think I should begin to keep a notebook especially for the random objects I find in random locations throughout the house.
For instance: Plush Elmo in the vegetable crisper.
...Legos, blocks, and toy cars in the oven warmer drawer on consecutive days.
...candy stuffed into the bed-rail in Espen's top bunk (and he thought I wouldn't find it! I decided to make his bed myself that day, so it would be nice and straightened, and discovered his cache, like a little sugar-high squirrel would make).
A few school stories....
We have been enjoying our homeschooling year, and after everyone has recovered from illness, are back on track with some daily learning. I'm slowly figuring out that the more relaxed I CAN be, the better our days go. I was sitting down to make up our Nov, Dec, and January schedule, and really didn't want to make as much of a daily schedule as make topics that could be covered appropriately throughout the month. I just don't think I, or they, are ready for a full-on checklist. Our life is just not like that yet -- and we're expecting a new arrival in just about, oh let's see, seven or so weeks, give or take....
I don't want to use the baby as an excuse, but I think plenty of learning still occurs, and still will occur, as we get used to our new family member...
But, what have we been working on?
Espen today made Chapter 1 of a Transformer Book -- it was a perfect copywork exercise that he did very willingly. He dictated to me, I wrote on another piece of paper, and then he copied into his new notebook. Sweet!
Baz readily knows his letters, and numbers to ten now, which was a big fall goal. What's next for him? He is showing quite an interest in the piano, and though I wouldn't start anything very formal with him, I may teach him a song or two. The last week or so, he has sat down, and plunked out triads, and also a little melody we made up from the "Tale of Timmy Tiptoes" story by Beatrix Potter -- it was amazing. He amazed himself! I poked my head around the corner, and asked him, "Is that Timmy's song?" and he looked at me wide-eyed, "Yeah!"
Jo-Jo's schoolwork right now is "Potty Training 101". He's getting REALLY good at number 1 (no more potty on the piano, thankfully), though number 2 is still a daily mess for me to clean up. Oh well...1 out of 2...50% before age 2 1/2 is pretty darn good, from our past experience. Jo-Jo also is interested in the two baby dolls that have made it into our house lately. He'll often hand me the doll, and say, "Needs Mama." and then will tell me what the baby needs, "Nee-Nee (mommy's milk), Sleep, Cudd-oh Baby," -- ah, if he only knew what awaited him. Or, maybe he does know, and he's trying to prepare me?
I have that sense, more and more, of the calm before the storm. I don't mean to phrase that negatively, but -- I enjoy SUCH a freedom right now -- going out to meet a friend for coffee for an hour last night, for instance. I know that, for the first 6 - 10(!) months of our new baby's life, he'll be with me. That doesn't smother me as much as it did for the first two -- I'm very embracing of it. But gosh, it IS just so different....So, over the next weeks, I'll soak up some opportunities to 'get away' and do those little things I enjoy on my own. I'm more than happy to share them with out baby blessing though, too -- I realize what a great honor and privilege and blessing it is to have a healthy pregnancy and baby, and my heart goes out to all those who have struggled and experienced loss either before or after birth....
I hope fall is treating ya'll well.....and look for more regular posting from me....at least for the next seven weeks or so!
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Oct. 20, 2009 - The Benefit of Prayer...even when you can't pray...
As I write this, there are brownies baking in the oven -- mmmmm....brownies......
I might get to try one, but they mostly will be eaten by others, I have a feeling.
And, probably no one in my house!
I'm baking a few pans of brownies for a benefit that will be hosted at our church tomorrow, to support two lovely women in our parish, one with lymphoma, one with leukemia.
Though I know both, the woman, a wife, mom of 5, and founder of a Catholic mom's Bible study -- that we currently use at our parish -- is a special friend of mine.
As I read her caringBridge site throughout the last 40 days (yes, she was in the hospital for EXACTLY 40 days. How poignant is THAT?) - I was struck by several things that she (and her sister, who 'blogged' for her at times) had to say...
Number one on my mind right now is the acceptance of God's will (that is, for her to suddenly be diagnosed with cancer, and have to report to the hospital on that same day to begin treatment), almost as cheerfully as I've ever seen anyone do anything fun that they would enjoy doing. He upbeat nature is what has drawn to many to her -- as soon as her site was set-up, literally over a thousand people sent her guestbook messages, and kept in regular contact.
She maintained her cheerfulness, despite her illness....despite a white blood cell count so low she could not have any visitors outside of immediate family....despite --
Number Two thing that struck me: Even with her cheerfulness, the illness -- the leukemia -- sapped her of strength and energy, and for some time during her stay, she found prayer incredibly difficult. It was not that she didn't want to pray -- in some strange way that is probably only understood by those who have gone through illness such as this -- she simply could. not. pray.
Both of these things (and there are so many others I could write about) really made me think about the figts God gives to us. She has had many challenging experiences in life (even besides being a mom of 5! ha!), and yet retains this bouyancy of spirit, always. That is surely a gift from God, and part of her natural personality as well. To me, it was consoling to know that a sudden diagnosis, such as cancer, couldn't take that away from her.
I've read and heard in homilies that when we finally stand before God, everything in our personality that wasn't God-given, even talents, etc, will be stripped away. The soul will stand truly naked before God, retaining only the qualities God endowed him or her with.....
The inability to pray struck me, too -- and highlight the importance, to me, of all of us, her friends, acquaintainces, children, husband, family, parish family -- needed to hold her up in prayer. She couldn't find the ability to pray at times -- but through the mystical Body of Christ, the connection that truly binds us all, our prayers could still have effect to not only plead to God on her behalf, but to somehow keep her in good spirits, and even affect the outcome of her illness. I'm sure receiving a thousand or so thoughtful, prayerful posts on your CaringBridge site every day would certainly help you feel wrapped in prayer and care!
I'm excited, thankful, and looking forward to the benefit tomorrow. It is a celebration of what God can do, what God can inspire our own hands and feet to do to serve others, and a time for fellowship and a hug.
Life is such a mystery. The story might have ended much differently. That is perhaps the hardest thing to think about. Her cancer may NOT have gone into remission...She might have needed a bone marrow transplant (she still may, at some point). She might not have gone home within 40 days....or at all.
And yet, even those things could have conceivably been within God's will. Why was it God's will to spare her, now? I guess I can't pretend to understand the Divine Mind...but I will say I'm happy that my will and God's matched up on this one....
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Oct. 15, 2009 - Friday Reflection...
I feel like we are getting into the school groove, and the key word in this is: flexibility!
Oh, how hard it is for me to learn this word! But OH, how necessary.
I have been feeling good, though, about having a plan....then having the wisdom (well, most of the time) to know when to deviate from it...
...when playing a game is more important than checking something off a list (and hey, they learn so much through games, too!)...
...when settling in under snuggly blankets to watch a half-hour "Thomas the Train" movie is just the thing to get Jo-Jo to sleep, and thus ensure about 2 hours of quiet lunch and school time for the older two -- even though watching TV during the weekdays is reallllly not on "the list"...
...when I'm interrupted during a period of 'me time' reading or at the computer by Jo-Jo needing me to take him potty, Baz wanting to show me a game he just made up, or Espen asking if he can do a load of laundry -- I just have to give thanks for their learning, creativity, and desire to be helpful -- and I can take a break from "my" time to be present to them, knowing it'll all even out in the end....
I was talking with my mom last week when she was over to play with the boys, and she encouraged me, "Enjoy these day -- you will miss them someday!" She and Dad are now "empty-nesters", though I think I still keep them busy enough with my little requests! -- but they do have a different amount of time just alone with each other. They are more in love than ever -- but the absence of the pitter-patter of the feet of their kids does still affect them. (I'm only two happy to loan 3 sets of feet to pitter patter around!...but its still not the same).
I try to keep that perspective in my days, when
- it's only 1:30, and seems like it should have been 5:00 hours ago. WHERE is TALLDAAAAAAD? Save me!
-cooperation is low from them or me, for whatever task we may be trying to accomplish
-this baby in my belly is kicking my ribs, and its losing its cuteness
-we're tired, cranky or hungry
Because, though I haven't experienced what my parents are going through right now, I know that someday --
- 1:30 to 5:00 will still seem long, but I don't have them to share it with...
- I will wish for them to be here, uncooperative or not, to fill my afternoon with their laughter and goofiness
-this baby won't be a baby anymore...
-I'll only be cooking for two, I can sleep whenever *I* want, and my crankiness might be from seeing them too seldom.
I know those days will come, even as I know that some days I fail to appreciate what we're going through right now. What a balance to try to strike in this life.
It's a rollercoaster, isn't it? Enjoy the ride.
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Oct. 7, 2009 - In case someone ever goes potty on your piano and you have to take it apart: a step by step guide
Ok, if you hadn't guessed by the subject heading, this post will include references to "urine". It is innocent urine, little boy pee, but nonetheless, you may choose to a) not read this post b) not read while eating/near eating/if you ever plan to eat again, depending how sensitive you stomach is or c)...uh, I can't think of any more options.
Most moms and dads can probably relate to this situation, even if the selfsame has not happened to you. But, I just couldn't go another day without posting.
Oh, and also there are pictures.
But not of the potty.
Mostly of the piano.
Step 1: Your child pees on the keyboard of your piano.
Step 2: You debate about what to do. You've never taken a piano apart....and wonder, if you did, if you could put it back together.
Step 3: You decide to let it go.....much like your son did, just moments ago.
Step 4: You change your mind when, upon examining the underside of the keyboard, you notice urine dripping -- quite rapidly, in fact -- out of one of the screw holes.
Step 5: You roll up your sleeves, and roll back the first part of the piano. There is absolutely no way you can access anywhere near the keys through this. You examine the piano further.
Step 6: You realize that the music stand, L-shaped wood behind the music stand, is just one piece, and has only 2 screws attaching it to the main body of the piano. So, you take a deep breath and get your screw driver, hoping something strange, random, and dangerous won't happen if you start messing with this instrument.
Step 7: You realize there are two pieces beneath to take off -- the sliding cover over the keyboard, and the wood to which that is attached. You take off the first part, then the wooden support. Nothing snaps or breaks. Whew.
Step 8: Success. Whith everything out of the way, you can now lift up the keys, and clean out the area with small squares of lint-free cotton. (Don't use bathroom cotton swab make-up-remover squares like I did. But, it did work to mop it up. Just kind of linty.)
Step 9: You've never been so thankful for a dust bunny, as it stopped the trickle of pee-pee from going any farther...at least in the direction of the lowest notes. A wooden support stopped it from going past the G below middle C. (Yes, he's got quite a "range". Har har.)
Step 10: Find random objects as you're cleaning, and wonder.
Step 11: Put it all back together. Have a good laugh, and a sip of coffee. Realize how blessed you are, and make it a goal to play piano more often, before something worse happens to this instrument.
Step 12: Put diaper on child.
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Oct. 6, 2009 - Slowing Down...
Sometime around Month 7 of pregnancy, things start to get a little weird in my body....
My hips go all loosey-goosey, resulting in lower back pain and hip pain, necessitating the need for a 'third trimester' belt to hold it all in place. It's a natural process -- the body is loosening up, relaxing, so that the pelvic bones can spread to accomodate the baby's entrance into the world...
My throat and accompanying muscles within slacken, allowing anything spicy, citrusy, or sometime carb-y to cause me heartburn, almost at any time of day or night. To counteract this, we have switched our eating schedule to be more of the 'frequent, small meals' type, which is healthier for all of us in the long-run anyway. Again, this is a natural process of the body, though troublesome at times...
My sleep is frequently interrupted by the need to get up an use the bathroom,...or by a slight irritation, such as a child touching me, or by...I don't know what. A dream? A noise? ... This, too, is a natural process -- almost as if the body is getting itself used to be woken up at frequent intervals to feed a hungry newborn....
Often, this is the time when my emotions start to go a little haywire, too. In the past, being medicated for depression, this would be the point where the meds didn't work...or, if I wasn't on meds, I'd need to start them. At this point, I'm not medicated for depression, but I do sense those moments in my behavior or attitude that points toward the hormonal surges giving me some 'down' thoughts.
However, this time around, I have less "baggage" in my head. While I know its not the choice of every mom (or possible for every mom), being at home with my kids has given me so much more peace during this pregnancy. I have an intuition, deep inside, that what would usually set off my downward spiral was the thought of the birth (happy!), the first 3 months (maternity leave), but then -- returning to work (yuck! leave my baby??). For the last two kids, I took them to work with me a good deal of the time -- and was so very thankful for my boss' openness to that, as well as the welcome of my co-workers to this situation -- but it was still stressful for me. I felt like I wasn't really able to be present to both my 'paid work' and my "REAL work' as a mom. Now, that is just me -- but....you have to know yourself, and I have been blessed to know that being at home is the right choice, for me....
But, over and above these bodily physical changes, there are changes in my heart.
When I look at each of my already-born children, and my husband, I have slowed down enough to reflect on the different emotions within me as I consider each one .....
Espen...
the first born. courageous, yet tender. a born leader. wild, and given to mood-swings. also steady and dependable. lives his own paradoxes, but likes his environment to be understandable and without question. my gentle bear -- he is not either/or, he is both/and. getting so tall. sometimes so sure of himself, sometimes still wanting to cuddle in my lap. learning so much. eager to help and please. kind to his younger brothers. a true friend...
Baz...
a gentle soul. emotional and sensitive. creative and artistic. would just as soon dance as kick a soccer ball, or sing instead of yell. daily amuses us with funny faces and insights. sometimes acts like the true middle child that he is -- gets his words often interrupted, so we have to listen closely and encouragingly, so he'll say what is truly on his heart. can sit and look and wonder for long periods of time. can be independent in his imaginary play, but needs a big or little brother around so he doesn't get lonely. a peaceful person, a gift...
Jo-Jo...
my 'oldest' baby, yet still so young. there is more space between him and his brother to be born, so he has been cuddled and perhaps coddled, but he holds his own. he shows that he admires his big brothers by copying their good, and sometimes not-so-good actions, and he depends on their friendship and love, and responds with his loyalty. amused by watching. amused by performing for us! speaking sentences, beginning to tell us his thoughts, sometimes struggling to find words he has never before said. a cheerful dreamer...
and, of course, TallDad...
rock. friend. support. lover and companion. seems to bear all cheerfully, yet trusts in me enough to vent when things are tough at work, with school, with the kids, or whatever else is going on in our life. funny, creative. serious, good listener. a willing and active dad, a caretaker of us all in so many ways. truly increasing his competence every day. we share it all. friend of my heart, love of my life...
As my body slows down, and my thoughts begin to focus on all the gifts I've been given, I realize what a blessing it all is - life, the blessing of bearing children, pregnancy, family, peace...
Gone is the first trimester tiredness, irritability, and illness.
Gone, too, is the burst of energy and pinky glow of the second trimester.
The third trimester is what it is.
Large. Heavy. Slow.
A chance to sit and think -- and a good excuse to do so -- because it is getting harder to get up.
More time to sit on the couch and read books to the kids (and read myself!) -- because taking walks requires so much more effort, my hips can't take a long walk without complaint, and because I prefer to have TallDad tie my shoes whenever possible.
A new tiredness -- not as troublesome as in the first months -- a resigned kind of tiredness. Not unwelcome -- very peaceful. Soon the baby will be on the outside, so why not go to sleep around 8:30 each night, cuddling with the kids? I need the sleep, and we all need the cuddling...
When the baby arrives, life will change. It will again be fast-paced, though we still won't seem to 'do much' to the outside world...but the first days of nourshing a newly born body and soul, outside of the safety and warmth of the womb, will consume us all...
For now, we all slow down, appreciate and love each other, and accept the blessings of the things I cannot control -- my body and heart's natural reactions to this time of life -- that are truly given by God.
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Oct. 3, 2009 - Saturday Evening Blog Post...
Hop on over to ElizabethEsther.Com for a new feature -- the Saturday Evening Blog Post! Elizabeth invites participants to post the post they've enjoyed writing on their blog from the past month. I'm excited to check out some other posts, too! And, in case you missed it the first time around, I thought this post:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/728955/
was a good one from this past month. And what a quick month it was!
Happy October, everyone!
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Oct. 1, 2009 - 7 Quick Takes: This Week's Surprises...
Thanks, Jen! Check out more Quick Takes by visiting Conversion Diary!
What a whirlwind of a week we had! I had fully expected to post the "potty piano fiasco" story on MONDAY...here it is Friday, and I've hardly sat at the computer 'for fun', let alone thought about blogging. But, the house is verrrrry quiet (It's 9:30 pm Thursday as I type this) and I just had the urge to write down a few quick things about what we did this week...
1. I canned for the first time!
With a borrowed canner, new jars, and lots of produce, I canned tomatillo salsa, tomatillo jelly, jalapeno pepper jelly, and a few pints of tomatoes. I purchased 3 dozen jars, and have used about 2 dozen so far....and with the apples that are still sitting on my porch, I may need another dozen! We'll see...
I have another post I'd like to write about canning, but don't hold your breath! It will happen...sometime!
All in all, it's been fun, and I love to see those beautiful jars filled with yummy stuff.
2. We had an evening committment Monday through Thursday....
Just stuff we had to get done, and volunteering we had signed up for, and lots of random errands. It made the week feel very full, and quite exhausting at times.
3. We are taking a week off from homeschooling....
...because I really didn't feel prepared or energized for this week. I knew the inaugural canning experience would just take up a lot of mental space....
4. We put all the fall clothes in the drawers, and sorted the spring/summer clothes, keeping some, and giving some away.
'Nuff said. Whew, and I'm glad that's done. It seems like it would be a simple job, but it does take some time...And then there's the random pair of shorts that shows up a few weeks later, and you have to reopen boxes. Thankfully, mine are well-labeled now -- after three boys, and one to come, I have learned ot be pretty organized with my storage items!
5. I had an amazingly fruitful mom's Bible study this week.
Wednesday was the feast of St. Jerome, who is the patron of Scripture scholars, ![[painting of Saint Jerome]](http://saints.sqpn.com/stj06044.jpg "31kb jpg detail from 'Saints Christopher, Jerome and Ludwig of Toulouse' by Giovanni Bellini, 1513, San Giovanni Crisostomo, Venice, Italy")
and study. We talked about Lectio Divina, which is the practice of reading and praying over Scripture slowly and meditatively. I have done Lectio previously, but the study of it and discussion that followed really reawakened my desire to be more regular about it -- and about prayer in general! I felt so refreshed and rejuvenated! Thank God for that blessing!
6. I have been blessed to have good friends -- and have been blessed by one, in particular, several times this week!
A family we've gotten to know in the last year has become so dear to us! The mom of the family and I are friends, and her daughters frequent babysitters, and the husband of the family a hardworking wonderful person as well. This week, my mom friend popped over unexpectedly to offer to watch the kids so I could do whatever! -- I got our groceries and several other errands done. Today, she brought over lunch, and we had another nice visit -- complete with coffee and coffee cake at the end. She is a blessing to me -- and I'm thankful to have her for a friend!
7. My kids may be famous!
I have a friend in town who works for a local talent agency, and at the beginning of spring last year, she put a call out to anyone who would be interested in work to contact her -- I offered her my children! ha ha! She and I had the chance to catch up at our class reunion this summer, and she said that work for kids had been slow lately, but she'd definitely keep my darling boys in mind! Well, I got a facebook message from her this morning, and there is the possibility of a photo shoot next Wednesday! So -- we'll see what becomes of that. I asked Espen what he thought last night, and explained that he'd get to dress up in some 'old-fashioned' (it's a 50s 60s shoot, apparently) clothes, and make fun faces and poses -- and he said with a dreamy look in his eye and a calm excited voice, "Mom, I would absolutely LOVE to do that!" I'll update if this comes to pass...
8. Okay, I know its supposed to be just 7, but another big part of our week was putting the finishing touches on our homeschool newsletter. TallDad and I agreed to do the designing, fact-gathering, and publishing -- and I think it went well! We have a good base to build on -- the previous editor had the 'job' for 7 years, and really did amazing things to keep our group connected! So, we have big shoes to fill -- but are happy to take it on. Our group means a lot to us!
God bless you weekend! Remember -- it is Respect Life Sunday this coming Sunday. Please pray for all parents facing a challenging pregnancy -- whether unexpected, or with illness, or with complications for the baby -- anything that would make them question whether or not to let their baby live. Pray that the evil of abortion is wiped out of our country once and for all!!
If you haven't heard of the 40 Days for Life campaign, check out this link -- and get involved where you live!
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Sep. 25, 2009 - 7 Quick Takes: Photos from this week...
Thanks, Jennifer, of Conversion Diary, for once again hosting the most fun, easy carnival on the web. Visit ConversionDiary.Com for other quick takes from other interesting bloggers!
This week, I decided to use mostly pictures to describe the mutlitude of random things the last week or so has encompassed. Enjoy!
1. Food.....Okay, can you tell I'm hitting month 7 of pregnancy? Its the one for me that makes everything about food, and yet at the rate my tummy is now expanding, I can't eat very large meals. That doesn't mean I'm not still cooking large meals...such as:
Roast Chicken with garden fresh parsely and sage, carrots, potatoes, and onions, in a french onion gravy.
2. Okay, I need to devote another one to food, just this last one, I promise -- I wrote about this meal in another post: Yummy Indian dish, spinach with paneer, flatbread, and a veggie rice mixture with a yogurt sauce: kind of a variation on a recipe that I just use over and over again -- and every time we eat it, TallDad and I say we could eat this every night. Maybe we will someday! For now, the kids aren't too into it, and we do want them to live to adulthood, so we have to vary the meals a bit...
3. I lied. One more foodie.
A proper Brit, sitting with legs crossed, knickers atwist. Or maybe, a proper pirate, with one leg shorter than the other. Either way, more amusing than most carrots, and you just don't see carrots like this in the stores. Mores the pity.
We named him Lil Carrot Pants.Then we ate him.
4. Baz, with funny expression. Candid shot by Espen.
5. Also Baz, with expression PAINTED ON, courtesy Espen, with SCRAPBOOKING MARKER. They have this "thing" about coloring on their faces, lately.
6. Jo-Jo, mid-laugh. Love it.
7. Things I found in my upright spinet piano when I almost completely took it apart Thursday morning after Jo-Jo peed on the keyboard. Complete story, and more photos to follow Monday or Tuesday. For now, just pray for our potty training efforts. Also, I'm taking it as a sign that I found not one, but TWO, Divine Mercy cards INSIDE my piano, that I should be praying this prayer daily. I also found a quarter and a paperclip. I'm not seeing signs in those.
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Sep. 22, 2009 - Lists for Gifts, Parties, and Avoiding Debt...
Ah, what a weird title...but seriously, a combination of these things have been knocking around in my head for awhile, and I wanted to get some of it 'on paper'...
I went to a baby shower for my cousin last Saturday, and a good time was had by all. Of all showers, I think baby showers are my favorite. And, you'll know from a previous post that I have definite opinions about how little it really can take to make baby, mom, and dad comfortable.
So why did I buy a bunch of stuff NOT on that list and wrap it up in a pretty bag to present to my cousin?
Ok, Ok -- it wasn't ALL junk. But some of it wasn't as much useful or helpful. It will probably be, at least a few of the items, what gets donated to the thrift store when baby #2 (God-willing) comes along. Such as, nursery decor (definitely don't NEED that), and a hand-mold-kit (Ok, they are cute, but if you do one for one kid, you feel bad if you don't do it for all your kids. Case in point, none of my kids have this. #4 will not have one either. Unless someone gives me a kit....maybe...)
Now, a saving grace for me is that this is my cousin's first baby. She is blissfully ignorant of many things (and I don't say this to slight her -- but that's just how it is with the first baby! Was for me, too!), and doesn't really know what she'll need. So, it was all received cheerfully with giggles, as we sipped coffee and ate cookies and oohed and aahed over all the cute little pink things (she's having a girl).
But, what will I do differently next time?
I'd really like to develop more of a personal handmade gift for showers -- like a default baby-shower-gift plan. Besides the fact that money is tight, and the pressure to give a gift (when you can't afford it) really rankles me -- personal gifts, and homemade gifts, are generally appreciated, maybe more so. There is thought that went into them -- more so than picking up a hunk of plastic made in China that plays "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy" until a parent wants to throw it out a window!
Some thoughts on homemade gifts I may, in the future, attempt:
- a decorated book of blank pages that parents can put photos in -- sized for a small purse. Or, a book where they can put pictures of relatives and friends, that is baby friendly. Or, alternately, a gift certificate for photo developing, so they don't have to put it off because of lack of funds -- which can happen when you get the hospital bill. Whew!
- index cards printed with quotes, advice (both from well-known parenting people, etc, and myself) and prayers to be kept by a nursing mom's chair, for a little pick me up, and maybe some special treats to munch on -- homemade biscotti is my speciality!
- homemade good-smelling bath salts, for a new mom
- homemade baby wipes of flannel or terry cloth
- meals, easy and uncomplicated, that a dad or friend or older child could assemble while mom naps, or a coupon for a Meal In of their choice, make it like a neat menu, and they can check off what they'd like, and I'll deliver!
Okay, now onto the next subject. Parties. Home parties. Home selling parties. We all on the same page?
I used to think they were fun. Sometimes they are. Occasionally I'm interested in the product being sold, or even NEED something. But lately, I've seriously been invited to one home party each week -- one week there were two in the same week. Pampered Chef. Dove Chocolate. Norwex. Tupperware. Lia Sophia. Tastefully SImple. Southern Home Living Decor. Oh my goodness gracious! I must know the right combination of people and be such a glittering super popular lady to garner all these invitations, but honestly, it's overwhelming.
I know people say, "Just go, have fun, don't feel like you have to buy anything." But dude, I just don't 'buy' it -- literally. The point of the party is to buy things. And, though some could just shrug off the sales pitch, and find something useful to do and ignore the consultant who stares you down until you go over with your slip to the corner where she's calculating shipping and handling -- I feel like if you show up, you should buy something. I just do.
I must admit, though I'm a sucker for Tupperware, I really don't need much of anything from any other place, at the moment. I'm just too dang frugal these days to buy unneeded items. There's also the part of me that feels like if I go to one, and buy something, I should equally support other friends who are hosting parties (which in my opinion is quite a lot of work), and wanting to purchase little things themselves. I want to be fair.
Hence, I'm just not going to any.
The last little thread is, avoiding debt. Blah blah blah the economy, recession/depression, etc etc. You know the story. We're all living it here, people.
I was at a newly discovered blog, Crunchy Chicken, and have totally embraced a challenge from the blog hostess -- to buy all our Christmas gifts either - handmade from someone else, handmade by me, used/thrift store/Craigslist/freecycle finds ( I would also include donations to charitable organizations -- many times I'm stuck for a gift for someone I perceive "has everything". So, someone else, like a pro-life non-profit organization, can benefit, in their honor. Sweet!) . I'm signing up, and I would encourage others to think about it, too. I do like to give gifts, and yet I know that to be a good steward of what God has entrusted to our family, buying expensive gifts on credit doesn't 'fit the bill'. But, I'm totally psyched for the challenge, and thrilled to set this example for our kids. If we're shopping at consignment and thrift stores, and making presents, they can be more involved, too. Versus shopping at Target, where they really don't have much of a budget, and it's a frusterating exercise for all of us.
I had, last night, a very successful shopping trip to an area consignment store, looking for some birthday gifts for 4 cousins, which further encouraged my resolve to DO THIS. I got each child a book (just happened to be buy one, get one free! yes!), got a pair of PJ's for Jo-Jo (he was sleeping naked most of the time, which he likes, but, enough is enough. He's only 2, and fall weather is likely to rear its crisp head any day now), and even found a gift that I have cleverly hidden from aforementioned son (a Sesame Street guitar with his favorite characters - though he's never seen the show, just played - ahem - "educational games" on the website with me -- oh, and did I mention it lights up, and is noisy? I know he'll love it, though I may live to regret the purchase)
-- I spent a grand total of - TA DA - 7.25.
I know. Awesome, huh?
What gifts do you give to others, especially kids/newborns? Do you believe (as I tend to) that it is the thought that counts most, not how much you spend? Do you ever hand-make wrapping paper or cards? How does God enter into your gift-giving? Share some ideas. I could write another post, and I believe I will, soon, about the pressures of kids' birthday parties -- aurgh -- but this post is already ranty enough.
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Sep. 21, 2009 - Awesome Mom Moments
There are some days, some hours, or even some minutes that can make a mom feel AWESOME. I had one the other day -- just a moment, but I felt like, "Yeah, that's right. Whose tha' mama? Yeah, me, that's who!"
After a trip to the local Fall Festival at a nearby park, the boys came home with a sackful of candy as prizes from the carnival games. A few chews later, and Espen had gum in his hair. (He said Baz put it there, but when Baz just looked blankly at him, I knew better. Baz would definitely be the kind to take credit for such a great trick.)
Espen was about to participate in that great Kindergarten rite of passage -- cutting his own hair. I caught him standing on the toilet in front of the bathroom mirror, about to snip his life -- er, his hair -- away.
I calmly took the scissors from him, and walked him to the kitchen. "Mah-ahhhhhhm....I have Guuuuum in my Haaaaaaaaair!" He moaned. "I'll probably go bald now. Oh great!" And he carried on, while I got out a butter knife, and the peanut butter jar.
His eyes widened. "WHAT are you going to DO with THAT?" He asked, shocked.
I didn't say anything, but put a little dollop on the end of the knife, and generously coated the entangled strands. About 20 seconds of working with my fingers, and copious continued moans from Espen, and the gum was free!
TallDad entered the room, and looked confused. "Peanut butter? To get out gum?" He looked at Espen's gum-liberated hair. "How did you know what to do?"
I tried not to get puffed up on my own peanutty-tricksy-ness. But I did...I felt proud. I've never done the peanut butter trick before. I didn't really know if it would work. But I went for it. I'm a mom -- that's my job.
Of course, not every day goes like that -- you know the days -- when you don't really believe in corporal punishment, but you give your child a swat on the behind anyway....when you know that yelling really doesn't solve anything, but you haul off and give a vehement sermon in "that monster voice" anyway....when you have a lot to get done, but sit down on the couch and stare blankly for awhile....
But -- those days fade quickly into the background when you have an awesome mom moment. For now, though my fingers smelled slightly of peanut butter, all was right with the world. And I was on top of it.
Or was I?
I know the peanut butter example is quite simple, and un-ostentatious, but I think that the simplest or grandest awesome mom momenta come when we choose to involve God. In this case, it was God calmly guiding my memory back to hearing, once or twice, that peanut butter can get gum out of hair, somehow. Though I opened the jar, really without praying (does anyone commonly pray over the opening of a jar? A jar of peanut butter? You are a better mom than I....), yet I think that God, the Holy Spirit, and Christ are with us in any moment. The Lord doesn't just wait around for grand occasions. He desires to be with us through it all. Even the times of peanut butter.
A priest friend recently led a short retreat for the Teams of Our Lady group in which TallDad and I participate. He said that most Westerners say, in prayer, "God, help me with this...Get me through this..." etcetera. We would do better to pray in this way, "God, DO THIS for me. God, take charge of this, and I'll just be your instrument."
That was a real "Ah-HA!" moment for me.
In the first way, we are saying we don't really need God. We're saying, "God, I pretty much got this covered, but if you could just give MY efforts, which I entirely control, a little boost, I bet I could complete this task." We can take care of things all right just on our own, thank you very much, Lord. EXTRA help is all we need.
However, in the second way, we acknowledge the reality of the situation. Which is "We don't do nuthin' without the Big Guy's say-so and blessin'." Amen. When we pray humbly in this second way, We get ourselves OUT of the WAY, God works (many times through us), but it's always God that does it. Always.
Aw yeah.
What is an awesome mom moment you have had lately -- what has God blessed you with? Please share, for the encouragement of others, and those that are having 'not-so-awesome-mom" days -- give us hope that there will always be more awesome moments to come.
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Sep. 16, 2009 - Feeling Saucy...
Our trip to the local orchard was oh-so-fun -- but I admit to feeling juuuuust a little overwhelmed by the three reusable shopping bags, each at least half-full (or fuller) with very ripe apples that now had to be 'dealt with' in a somewhat timely manner. The good news is, zipping them (that is, peeling, coring and slicing, with a nifty Pampered Chef tool that is my mom's) only took about 1 hour, 45 minutes, with relatively few I had to do by hand. So, I started looking through some recipes and ideas, and the first one I tried was applesauce.
YESSSS! So much of a hit that I don't have any left of which to take a picture! It was so good it was eaten quickly, and none of it made it into the freezer for later. Maybe when I make the next batch -- most likely tomorrow morning...
I also made apple chutney. What is a chutney, really? I'm still not exactly sure, but I would say its generally an Indian, 'side-dish' or condiment, often left a bit chunky with bits of whatever it is composed of visible. I made my own a bit more smooth, as I just like the appearance better. We tried some fresh stuff last night, and it was deeeee-licious! My chutney was apples, raisins, cardamom, cumin, ginger, salt, coriander, and a little splash of lemon juice.
Other sauces of note include a fresh garden salsa. I can't wait to use this for a tex-mex inspired meal later this week. This is the use-it-fresh kind, not suitable for canning or freezing, but I anticipate making some freezer stuff in a few weeks. Included were three fresh tomatoes, a jalapeno, 3/4 of a medium onion, a splash of vinegar, a shake of salt, and some cilantro. I was out of lemon juice, and as I tasted the salsa for the first time this afternoon, I could miss it. I will add a dab of that when I serve it with our meal this week.
Basil pesto also is a popular treat at our house -- whether over fish, pasta, chicken, or mixed with Mayo for sandwiches. I also like to toss veggies with it and saute them. I've made a LOT of pesto this year, that I can share with my friend who has generously lent me her Cuisinart food processor for going on 6 weeks now! ;-) Here's a picture of the pesto I have frozen in ice cube trays. Just writing about mixing it with mayo made me hungry for a sandwich I already plan to enjoy tomorrow. These cubes aren't thawed yet....
Basil's also great because its a very forgiving recipe. 2 or so cups of basil, about 2/4 cup or so of olive oil, then maybe a sprig or two of parsley, and then perhaps a dash of salt and garlic. I usually use some sort of nut as well -- pine nuts are traditional, but gosh are they expensive! I've also used soynuts, and almonds. I've heard walnuts work well, too. Sometimes I toast the nuts, sometimes I don't. And you know what, I love it every time! I don't add parmesan, or minced garlic, as this goes in the freezer -- so I add it to dishes that need it, later. (I've also made a cilantro pesto, that has cumin, cilantro, and olive oil -- VERY good!)
Finally, though it is not a sauce, I'm trying my hand at a little tiny batch of sauerkraut. I've previously written about sauerkraut, so you know my love of this stinky cabbage stuff. But, I've never made my own. And why not? Sauerkraut seems ti be BY FAR the most EASY THING EVER! I guess I'll be able to declare that even more accurately when I've tasted the results....but, here's a recipe:
Shred cabbage.
Add salt.
Fill a jar. Smash down.
Fill remaining space with boiling water. Seal tightly with lid and screw cap.
Let stand for weeks, undisturbed in a corner or your kitchen. Wipe off any ooze that busts out.
Okay, let me just say that, in my house, as type A as I CAN be at times, many, many things sit undisturbed in dark corners all OVER my house for weeks at a time. I don't know why I haven't thought of capitalizing on this before and making something productive out of it al! But, not everything is farm fresh cabbage.
Some of it are little boy socks. But that, my friends, is a post for another time.
Happy harvest!
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Sep. 14, 2009 - In Which Laura Gets the Gimmies...
I'll chalk it up to the good ol' nesting instinct --
but,
I know it's probably just silly old materialism rearing its ugly ol' head around my heart --
Lately, I've been dreaming about a new house....
or more projects for this one.
Ugh.
When I get on a thought-jag like this, I have to admit, it is very hard for me to kick. I'm not sure what exactly brings it on, because I truly love our home, our little yard, and feel it IS just right for us right now. I wonder, actually, if being a little overwhelmed or stressed brings these thoughts to circulate inside my brain -- I don't really want to focus on what I actually HAVE to do, so I dream about what, for now, simply cannot be....
Besides the fact that this house is what we need right now, it's definitely what we can afford. I really can't imagine, on the financial side, moving right now. It would be financially irresponsible. But -- in my daydreams about, alternately, a bigger city home, or a bigger (both land and house) country home -- reality is far from the imagining....
Ever read that Berenstain Bears story, where the kids 'get the gimmies'? They just want stuff, stuff, stuff! But, I believe they learn in the end, that stuff isn't what makes you happy.
I DEFINITELY know this to be true in my own life. In fact, probably one stressor that comes up over and over again in my life is the preoccuption with having too MUCH stuff -- because every additional thing one owns, one has to take care of: clean it, maintain it, store it, organize it, sort it..... Having 'stuff' that I know we really don't need, that also comes with caretaking duties, does stress me out. I just finished a minor resort of basement storage stuff, and it makes me breathe easier to again get rid of several boxes of clothes, household items, and some books and magazines that have not been needed in the past year, and therefore, probably will never be needed! I like to pass things on to the next person as soon as possible, if the items are no longer needed by us....
So, what gives? What could have me so overwhelmed, bored, or otherwise mentally unstimulated to be just spending what seems to me to be too often daydreaming about new houses?
Life is busy for our family right now. Parish life, for my husband, a parish worker, is especially busy. He's also in an online degree program in web programming. Both of these things I wholeheartedly support -- but they also make our family life, which includes keeping up the house, doing the laundry, etc, a little less organized -- in addition to both of us feeling overworked and more tired, and less able, at times, to be present to each other or the kids...
I don't want to sound so gloom and doom -- it really is not that way. We're getting through it, usually with cheerfulness and peace -- day by day -- but there are moment, probably like it has been lately for me, when it just all gets to be too much. Add to all of that a busy weekend of socializing with family and friends, and I feel like I need a second weekend to recover from my weekend! Even fun things can tire a pregnant mama out.
I'm endeavoring to continue to take it one day at a time, and trying to keep myself centered on Christ, and God's will for my life, and for the life of our family. I have felt the greatest sense of peace when reading the current spiritual book I"m working on (and have been for quite some time!), "Introduction to the Devout Life". I'm also working on praying the rosary more frequently -- this usually amounts to a decade here or there. I'll also be going to Reconciliation sometime this week -- most likely Thursday -- and I know that receiving that sacrament, as well as the Eucharist, will continue to strengthen me.
So, God is good, even when I get the gimmies!
Peace, all.
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Sep. 9, 2009 - An Awe-suuuuummmm Day...
Today is Wednesday, which is, even on a week with "No Monday", our day off from schooling.
That is not to say we haven't learned a lot already!
Another homeschool mom posted on our message board about a county-owned orchard, with apples for the picking. Oh, and for free! Even better! That was enough for us to load up in the van with a couple of reusable shopping bags, just to see...
I wish I would have had my camera along -- it was a beautiful place, but the kids were beautiful in it. They sometimes walked side by side, carrying their bags, munching apples, sometimes finding a sitck to swing or walk with. We went in the earlier morning hours, when everything was still wet and dewy -- and it was so picturesque.
We also got a ton of apples! Some we sampled were a bit sweeter, but most were quite tart. We like the tartness around here, so they should suit us well in a few experiments -- maybe some apple sauce, and apple pie filling? I was looking up recipes right when we got home. Yum. That'll be fun.
This afternoon we're meeting some friends to play at a park near our house. The weather is absolutely gorgeous, and we want to enjoy it as long as it lasts. To me, the weather feels mid-Augusty today -- not like Sept 9th! We are very much enjoying this.
I'm not going to get to it before our guests arrive for park time, but I do have some pictures of my backyard sunflowers to post. They are looking nice. I'm going to make bird seed from them, when they have dried. We've also been saving marigold seeds, and are planning a little art project of making seed packets that we can give away. I thought that might be kind of a cool "Thanks for witnessing our baby's baptism" kind of gift -- the baptism will likely be in February, and it is JUST that time of year when you really need to have hope that spring will come again. So, we'll try to "say it with flowers" -- or, at least, the promise of flowers...
I wanted to take just a minute, too, to thank Cristina and Suzie for generously giving me various awards -- that sure made my day. The "Queen of All Things Awesummmm!" was awarded from Suzie, and the award from Cristina was fairly similar, so I thought I'd respond at the same time (my blogging time has been very limited lately...though with all the great weather to enjoy, and things to do, I can hardly complain!)
Here's what this award's acceptance entails...
1. List seven things that make you awe-summm!
2. Pass the award onto seven bloggers you read religiously.
3. Tag those seven bloggers.
So, without further ado, My list of seven things that make ME awe-summm:
1. I want my life to be centered on Christ. And, though I fall short most every day, keeping that center truly makes LIFE more awesummm! ;-)
2. I love to learn about healthy eating and living, and I like to think I was "green" before it was cool to "be green". My motivation for trying to live this way is to be a good steward of what God has entrusted to us.
3. I have a good sense of humor, and like to have fun.
4. While I am a major PLANNER,too, I also like to think I leave a little room in my soul for spontanaeity! Like this morning, going apple picking on the spur of the moment.
5. I love my husband, kids, family, and friends -- in that order, and do my best to keep my priorities straight.
6. I love to cook, bake, and experiment with new recipes. Look tomorrow for a picture of a really amazing Indian meal I made last night -- and it was made in such a way that I didn't die of heartburn, either! Now that IS masterful....haha..
7. I like to share my faith with others, be it in face-to-face or on facebook, and try to do so in a gentle way that makes faith and the belief in God appealing enough to want to know more.
The last requirement of the award -- is to keep the giving going -- and give the award to 7 other bloggers who I read "Religiously". I take that to mean not reading while praying on my knees, but, of course, read regularly. hee hee...
I do read a few "popular" blogs, but most of what I read are more the "small circle of friends" variety, and I'd like to especially see those folks receive this award, so I'm going to defer to my ability to make things up as I go along, which is part and parcel of being an English major, and just name three. It's because I'm so awesummm, you see, that I can choose to do this.
1. Forty Acres, A Husband, and 3 Kids
Those are my top three! But, I also want to just share a couple of other blogs I follow that I think are totally great:
Enjoy some new reads. What new blogs have your discovered lately, and what keeps you coming back to read them?
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Aug. 31, 2009 - The only thing I can predict is that life is unpredictable...
Ok, the title sounds so serious -- really, this post will be light-hearted...but, let me tell you, it has been a rather rough day in the trenches....and it's only 3:37 pm! In fact, I should probably be interacting with my children, but I just need a break, so I'm going to risk a little insanity while I melt away into the parallel world that this blog sometimes is for me...
Last week, I had cooperative, excited kids. This led to an excited, energetic mom.
Today has seen the total replacement of cooperative with behavior that can only be described as "monster-like". Well, not completely...but, I would say, percentage-wise, it's been 35 percent good behavior, 80 percent bad. (And yes, I do know that adds up to more than 100 percent. That's just how I roll....)
However, as I try to do, I have discovered little gems even in this day -- when my 2 year old has not napped (and thus, neither have I) -- my 5 year old has called me "a mean jerk" -- and my 3 year old has whined about a snack for 45 minutes, after eating 2 bites of lunch. Auuuuurgh!
But, the 2 year old is still happy, relaxed, and relatively un-whiny, despite no nap. In fact, even though he just used our new school markers to color all over himself (he is naked right now, did I mention that? Did I also mention I'm not sure how or when that happened?), and peed on the floor as he giggled up at me -- I can handle happy-crazy-toddler. Whiny-tired-irritated-toddler might be pressing it right now.
I got a "tea time" snack ready for us just a few moments ago, to the happiness of all involved. I assigned 5 year old to clean up a toy set, our Mass Kit, before snack. He couldn't find all the little squishy foam hosts, and was about to pitch a fit. "I think they're inside the coin pig," I offered. They were. "Wow, mom, you really DO know where everything in our house is!" said the jubilant Espen. "Not so bad for a mean jerk, am I?" I said, playfully. Really, it was playful. But, I did want to make a point. And he totally got it. He said immediately, "Mom, I'm really sorry for calling you that. I was mad. But that is a really mean thing to say." I hugged him, and thanked him for his apology.
Okay, and how about the 3 year old? Where are his little gems? Throughout the day, we have read several stories. He did fantastically well and was very enthusiastic about his morning lessons. He retained, by sight, several new letters we'd been working on last week. He has helped clean up, and has done alright playing with his little brother. He's probably the gemmiest gem of the day -- and I love him. I had written last time of his crankiness. Yep, it's still present, especially around 3 pm (perhaps this is a hint from the Lord we need to be saying the Divine Mercy chaplet as a family?????) But, we're working through it. God is helping me to be patient. Thanks for your prayers, too!
Back to the grind --
Thanks for reading our little slice of life. God bless!
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Aug. 28, 2009 - A good first week...
This past week we concentrated on getting back in the swing of things. I had recently had time (finally!) to sit down, and just type out the schedule I hoped to follow. I had made an earlier draft, then had time (about a month!) to think about it, then I started plugging things into a calendar. This week -- we followed our schedule! There are some things we haven't added yet, but all in all, I feel very confident, empowered, happy, and have a sense of "yes, we CAN do this!". I'm also tired out! Whew!
Baz was sick on Monday, and for the past week has been very, very whiny. I don't know exactly why, but my mom's intuition says he's about to take a learning leap -- or his brain has already taken it, but his mouth and vocabulary can't keep up! I've watched him struggle this week to put his thoughts together, and then whine and cry when he can't be as concise as either we or he would like to be. I'm praying for patience, and would ask you to do the same on my behalf!
Espen has been asking for "more schoolwork" several times this week, and has been ready to be a bit more independent for some time now, so I'm only too happy to oblige.
Jo-Jo could use more interactive time with the brother that is not doing a short lesson -- but both know how to deftly work out tv/vcr/dvd equipment, and they've been sneaking in more tv time than I usually like. This is something we'll continue to work on.
We're also implementing an idea I saw in this month's "Family Fun" magazine. Festisite.com has a feature where one can print out money, with a personalized picture in the middle! So, move over George -- here come Jo-Jo, Baz, and Espen "bucks". I tackled a major toy reorganization project on Wednesday, which is our "day off" during the week from lessons, and a chance for an outing, a treat, or for mom to do a project. I chose project this Wednesday.
All our toys, and even our books, are in a shelved area of our basement -- labeled in boxes and bins. Yes, the Type A side of me had a field day with this one! Woo. Hoo. I'll have to put a picture in next week. I was just sick of the constant distraction of toys (of which we have consciously chosen not to have an exorbitant amount, but nevertheless....), and the constant picking up for me, or nagging the kids to pick up, and also the questions, "Where is this toy? Where is that toy?" and really having no idea where to look first!
Our current idea, to be modified as we try it out for a few weeks: The kids earn "bucks" by a) completing their lessons b) interacting/playing with Jo-Jo while the other does their lesson c) doing their chores without being asked, or volunteering for a chore. They won't ALWAYS get "bucks" for chores, but sometimes they might. Then, they can "buy" a toy bin from our shelved area (which is surrounded by the inpenetrable fortress of a baby gate), and play with it. They can pool their bucks for multiple bins, or also use the bucks for computer time that is not related to their lessons, special reading or game time with Mom or Dad, and perhaps in the future, little toy or candy treats -- we'll see. The remaining little project is to put up our small (about 9 X 13 size) bulletin board so that the bucks and goals are more visible to them.
This week I also tackled making a list of every conceivable known extracurricular that I culled from several sources -- the YMCA in our area is now making a conscious effort of welcome homeschoolers, which I think is pretty neat. Though we probably won't participate in the actual homeschool programs due to timing (they happen to occur during major nap/quiet time zone for us at this point) it got me looking at several other programs. The goal, with all of it, is for TallDad and I to think about what we need or want the kids to do, what can wait -- and balance it all with our sanity and financial outlook. So, I included lots of free stuff, too!
We'll be going to storytime weekly, and there are also some free art classes that will provide some special outings. There are also some nice community festivals and programs that we like -- a nice fall festival is coming up, and we have attended the Celtic Festival in the spring every year since it began. The last two years without the kids, because its amazingly crowded, and they just wouldn't have really "got into it". But this spring, I think we'll plan to take the 2 older ones, at least.
So, my head is brimming with new thoughts, ideas, and my heart is thankful for a good week. I know not all weeks will be this "fun" and I won't always feel so energized. I'm thinking month 8 of pregnancy will see me a little different -- haha -- but I'm thankful for today...
In between all of this, I've been working on an article for a local family magazine, regarding the flu shot, and its effectiveness. This has been challenging for me to have a good balance. I'm not a PRO vaccine person...but I also respect others' choices in this area. So, it has been interesting, to say the least, to write. I will be happy when its sent off to my editor and I can move on with my writing life in that area. Have you noticed blog posts have been sparse lately? That is another reason why...
Well, have a great weekend! Oh, and posts might STILL be sparse, for a while, indefinitely?, as we get underway with our homeschool...but I do enjoy reading others' posts, and really relish the potential in blogging to let off steam, write something interesting, and just have a little corner of the web all to myself. SO, don't forget about me! ;-)
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Aug. 21, 2009 - Reunited And It Feels So......well, sorta weird....
I thought I'd better check in, lest you think I was spirited away by a long-forgotten high school sweetheart and begun a new life in Paris, never to be heard from again on this blog....
Not so.
My high school reunion was a positive experience, but very odd all the same. I thought I'd use up a few words today to share what it was like, and some of my thoughts, now that it is over ... In case you're at all interested, or for some crazy, martyr-like, bizarre reason signed YOURSELF up to be on your high school reunion committee, here was the flow of our weekend:
Friday night: Social at a popular local bar
Saturday morning: Tour of the school, family-friendly picnic (morning and afternoon, respectively) and evening dinner, program and dance
Sunday: Be really tired all day (I could see that coming, even though it was not on the formal agenda, per se...)
Over the course of the few days prior to the reunion, as I put finishing touches on the items I was responsible for, I started looking at the guest list and realizing some friends were missing. One of those friends (who might be a new reader of this blog - yippeee!) I DID convince to go, and be my buddy Friday night, as I planned to go sans TallDad.
Friday, for me, was the most 'nerve-wracking' event. It was the first. It was probably the standard by which the rest of the weekend would be judged. It could make or break us, as a planning committee. Thank goodness it really went great!
We had a terrific turnout, and saw many classmates gather to kick-off the weekend of reunion activities. I would guesstimate there were over 100 -- possibly close to 150 classmates that came. That amount was more than tickets we had sold for the Saturday evening event!
I would call the event definitely "positive", because it was fun, people were relaxed and in a good mood, and the noise and music worked wonders in masking any uncomfortable feelings.
It was also totally surreal (kind of like this picture...)...
I was looking, at one point, across the bar, where there was another slew of classmates gathered, and thinking, "Who are all these people?" and thinking they were probably wondering the same about me.
My class was not small. It was 457, according to our committee records. Of those, I felt I knew many in high school, and floated around -- not confining myself (or so I thought) to one particular clique. But I had to rethink those thoughts after feeling like the amount of names and faces I could match up with comfort was relatively few...
Saturday morning had classmates gathered for a school tour -- the school was being renovated during our last year, and so it looks incredibly different now. That had a showing of about 20 or so. The picnic, hosted at a very family-friendly local park, drew about 30 - 35 from 11 am - 3 pm -- definitely not as many as we planned for (and the huge rainstorm that occurred right in the middle of it might have deterred a few...), but it turned out to be a nice time to visit with a select few, and to get to know some other families. My husband was pleased to meet another dad of a classmate of mine who was an 'active dad' like himself, and very family-oriented. He also was an accountant, and they had a lot to talk about. I planned, organized, and carried out the picnic. Committee members helped with input, and with some clean-up at the end, but it was pretty much all me. That meant, it was pretty much all TallDad, too, by default. And, of course, we wanted to show off our darling children, and this was the one reunion event at which we could do so.
The Saturday evening event came quickly. I got home at 3, and was due at the hotel at 4:30. I had time for a cup of coffee, and a leftover hotdog, and then had to get ready. Then, I realized I forgot to print a few things out. Then I had a wardrobe malfunction and had to change. Then.....well, suffice it to say: By the time I was ready to go, it was after 4:30, and I was running late to meet the classmate who had agreed to be the MC. Ugh.
But, I did eventually get there, meet up with the MC, got a few things set-up and accounted for, and pitched in to help the event hosts. While I was in charge of the program, 10-Year Achievement and Goofy awards (these are two separate things, of course. haha...), and dj arrangements, the three classmates in charge of the venue did everything else -- decorating, catering arrangements, etc -- so I actually got to relax a little bit.
The program went well. The MC added his own flair to the script I wrote (as I was hoping he'd do), and I thought it came off nicely. The program also included a slideshow of events that have occurred in the last 10 years, and a "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" gameshow at the end (which was also a powerpoint slideshow), which featured trivia from our graduation year, as well as general trivia from the last 10 years, mostly of a pop culture variety. I got to present an award to 4 classmates -- we called it the 10 Year Achievement Award -- and, for me, that was the highlight of the program.
The award was meaningful because it recognized not people who were successful in making a lot of money, necessarily. It didn't have a qualifier of "you need to have a PhD" in something. It focused on a classmate that has done something good -- and 4 out of the 4 were people that were invested in community-oriented actions that helped create awareness of: the lack of dental care for those in poverty in the US or abroad, or the arts, or the struggles of refugees, or the struggles of a soldier. I hope my classmates were as inspired by the award winners as I was...
Though the program all went well from a 'technology' standpoint, and no one majorly messed up lines or cues, as limited as they were, I felt like a few things hampered its success. One was an exceptionally loud wedding party next door. Buzzers and beeps and musical weird things would sound through the padded wall at inconvenient times. I also wondered if the other classmates were really buying in to the program and truly getting involved. It might have been that everyone still felt awkward, and they just didn't quite get into it as much. Who knows.
After the program and class photo, I hung around for awhile, talking with a few of the same people I talked to on Friday. Then, I looked at the clock, and just had to go. I felt like I would fall asleep on my feet. I said goodbye, and walked out alone (TallDad, bless his heart, was SUCH a dear to help with all the tech stuff, visit with my classmates, and generally have a fun time, until a killer headache totally knocked him out. He left about an hour or so earlier than me - thankfully, we had taken separate cars).
I knew even if I went home right away, I wouldn't be able to sleep -- though I was really tired. I just wanted to think about everything that had happened in the last 30 hours or so...I went to an all-night drive-thru coffee place and got a steamer and a biscotti, and sat in my car and thought...
I will say again, "Everything was positive..." but I was left with a feeling of......I guess, being unsatisfied. I think, truly, I went into it having "something to prove" -- which is strange, as I always thought of myself as very confident, not caring "what everyone else thinks", and knowing that I was fulfilling God's plan for me, one day at a time -- a plan that, certainly, had changed from what I envisioned in high school...Because, as I sat in my car thinking, my main thought was, "Why did I break my back trying to make that so special? Especially when pretty much no one would know that *I* really had anything to do with it?" (remember that...it becomes important later....)
My life is different that I thought it would be.....At age 28, married, a mom of 3 (plus 1), have finished up college and a nice short career in church work before becoming a full-time mom -- and a homeschooling mom at that. While its not totally out of line with what I thought could, possibly, m.a.y.b.e, perhaps DO with my life, part of me also thought "successful world-traveling novelist with a trophy husband and nanny" might also be a possibility....As it is, life...God....had other plans for me (well, I do have a trophy husband. He's hot....but, I digress...)
I keep crystallized a gem moment: the moment when my friend, the aforementioned 'buddy' I met and hung out with on Friday (and sat with again on Saturday night), wondered aloud, "You should really start a blog -- or do you have one ? I'd love to read more about your life as a mom..."
Now, that, in my true heart of hearts, was what I wanted someone to ask me (well, not as much about the blog, but about my life as a mom...). I felt congratulated, affirmed, and valued for the on-the-outside "small" contribution I was making to the world, amid classmates with 6 figure incomes, jobs that seemed really exciting, lawyers, researchers, and actors.
Here's where it all comes together. The hiddenness of my life is a blessing. It truly is. Just as the hiddenness of the behind-the-scenes stuff I helped with, to make the reunion special, is a blessing. It is God's plan, I feel, for me not to always be in the spotlight -- but to be the support behind others. I feel it is the same way with my job as a mom. It's really not about me, it's about them. Its only about me if they turn out badly! 
This also gives me a way to really identify with Mary, Mother of Jesus -- she always pointed the way to her own Son -- not to herself. I find when I seek the spotlight, I'm always dissapointed -- and usually don't find myself in the spotlight anyway, even for all I might do to get there....
So, I guess I'm not done thinking about it all....but I have a good start on some more good thoughts for the purpose of affirmation, cogitation, and prayer.
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Aug. 12, 2009 - 'Must Have' Items for a New Baby
A dear friend is expecting her first child, and she and her husband are starting to ponder the 'must have' list....She asked me my opinion, and I thought this would make a good post, and garner some good comments from readers, so, let's explore this topic together....This post is likely part 1 of 2, because I have a lot to say on this!
First of all, let me just say that your list of 'must-have's' will vary by a few key factors.
1) your parenting style ['Western', attachment, combo, etc]
2) your work/home decisions [are you at home fulltime, working part/full time]
3) the size of your house (ok, number three is sort of true, sort of a joke....I think I would have been tempted to have or hold on to more, if I had the ability to store it in a way that it was out of sight, and didn't make me crazy. As it is, though we have a large unfinished basement, I have a serious aversion to storing things that I really don't need. My modus operandum is 'easy come, easy go' and if I don't need it, it's that much easier to let it go....)
But, let's start at the beginning.... Keep the aforementioned three points in mind, as I'll only be giving "my side of the story" and yours may be different.
Do you need baby furniture?
There are super cute nursery sets out there. And guess what -- they match! I'm a sucker for matching things. Maybe because matching makes me appear that I've got it all together, oh, and that I'm the incredibly wealthy heiress to some candy bar dynasty. .... But, I'm not, and so....
We started off with a beautiful crib, passed down from my aunt. It would have turned into a toddler bed, and then also been a headboard for a fullsize, possibly a queen bed.
I don't have it anymore.
My most memorable crib memory was, when we took Espen home from the hospital, and he didn't sleep incredibly well the first night, and we were bleary eyed with exhaustion and nursing was still slow to get established and everything seemed so new and overwhelming -- TallDad and I got up for a 'midnight diaper change'. Epsen was slow to settle into 'regularity' so we were watching for poopies. Well, as soon as we took off his diaper, he squirted a mysterious brown liquid clear across his room! In our sleep-addled state, it was the funniest thing we had ever seen. We laughed until we cried, then we changed him and took him back to bed. It was a little less funny cleaning poop off the wall across the room from the crib the next morning...
But, other than changing diapers in months 1 - 3, we never used it. From day one, Espen slept with us, and did so until he was about 18 months old. I have serious sympathy for those who, for various reasons, cannot co-sleep with their kids, and want to do so. Same goes for those with disorders or various maladies that prevent the baby from even being in the same room as them (that's a little more rare). For the rest, that just don't like co-sleeping because it seems "weird", I say, "Enjoy sleep deprivation! Because co-sleeping families actually get sleep!"
Okay, these are my raging pregnancy hormones talking -- but honestly, I feel happy to have embraced the concept of the family bed that we learned about in our Natural Family Planning class. I have found that it is WAY more common than most people think in the US -- but it is rather hush-hush. Some are loathe to admit it. Some, like me, readily admit, if only to encourage others that its normal. (Most of the world co-sleeps with their kids. Cribs are pretty uncommon everywhere else but here.)
So, consider having the baby in a simple bassinet, Pack N Play or Arms Reach Co-Sleeper in the room, or better yet, put 'em in bed with you -- and save a good 300 bucks on a sleeping apparatus. Maybe they are more? I'm not sure. I never bought one!
Other furniture items: changing table? I did use mine for a month or two, but it eventually became toy storage, and then I sold it on Craigslist. To me, it wasn't as helpful, because I tended to change diapers on the bed, and stored all the baby's clothing in our room, too. I do like changing pads, to save my comforter a bit.
Dresser for the baby? I had a hanging 'sweater organizer' that I have used for 2 of the 3 kiddos, and that worked well. I just don't have the space for additional furniture in my room. I'd say large clear rubbermaid drawers would be a nice option, too.
You will need a diaper pail - but just a regular garbage can works, too. I like to splurge occasionally on the nice-smelling bags. Mmmm...flowery fresh. But, I also like the baking soda packages that have cloth-like sides -- they are great in the bottom of the diaper pail to deodorize.
Do you need to buy clothes?
If it's your first, you'll probably be showered with clothes from Day 1. I'd save my money for the 6-9 month and beyond clothes, because buying tiny newborn clothes are more fun for friends and relations, and so people generally load you up with those, and expect your baby to go naked the rest of his life.
I LOVE consignment stores and thrift stores for kids clothing. It is less than half the price, usually, and they have shoes, too! (Also, I don't really have my kids wear shoes until they walk. But that's just me. Others may feel differently about that.) I also love sharing and receiving clothes with/from friends, and also tend to limit the outfits I have available for my kids. I give them each about 10 - 12 complete outfits -- including the underthings. With very young babies that are poopin', spittin' up, and what not all the live-long-day -- I might allow as many as 16 outfits. Especially because in the first days, I usually don't have the time, energy, or desire to do laundry, nor does my precious husband. I may have to train Baz and Espen on the laundry thing before December 21st rolls around....
What else are absolute must-have's?
A car seat. (Unless you don't have a car. Advice: Use it mainly in the car. Don't break your back by carrying baby in it EVERYwhere you go. Sometimes its the most appropriate to bring in the carrier -- but I think babies are muuuuch happier in arms, or in a sling).
A stroller (doesn't have to be the most expensive, but I would tend to go to the higher end on these, after talking with people for personal reviews, and doing online research. If I got a new stroller today, I would get something like this, where you can switch the handles around. I've heard enough and read enough to think it would be better to have a young infant facing parents, and then switch handles so they can face out when they're good and ready.)
A sling (and there are SO MANY to choose from! Here's a good site to being your research, and a good slew of articles to read ). As a first time and new-to-breastfeeding mom, or for those situations where it is more appropriate to cover up, consider one of these. I might get one this time around. I'm sick fiddling with blankets that fall off anyways. There is a local person I know that makes them too -- even better! Or, search on etsy.com for a good deal, and support handmade!
Selecting your diapers:
I LOVE, let me repeat, L-O-V-E, cloth diapers! Originally, I thought of this only as a money-saver, next I thought of the good environmental impact our family could have (did you know it takes 500 years for ONE diaper to biodegrade in a landfill? Might even be longer, depending on various factors. The phrase that still runs through my head when I think of this: "I want my kids legacy to be something more profound than a diaper.") -- lastly -- my kids have rarely had diaper rash, and laundering cloth diapers and covers is not hard.
That being said, there is a learning curve to them, because, though they're becoming MORE common, chances are you don't know anyone that used them, and if your parents used them, they also used pins! (Which, mostly people don't use anymore...though I do know at least two people in my group of friends that do!).
So, after all that, I will also say, I do tend to use disposable for the first week or two. They just simplify life. Then, I have newborn sized prefolds and covers, and from there, it rolls quite smoothly. I have cloth diapered two kids at a time, and there is where you REALLY see major savings. I can't imagine keeping two kids in disposable diapers, even generic! It would really stretch the budget.
I love the Diaperaps brand, and have ordered prefolds from two different places. Choosing a cloth diaper can be kind of overwhelming, but when you find something that works, use it. You can often get samples or low-cost diapers on trial, to see what you like. Here's another bank of articles for that decision.
Feeding Baby:
I have exclusively breastfed my babes until 6 - 8 months, and then have introduced solids when they're able to pick things up. I've never used pacifiers -- partly out of philosophical reason -- no really, I'm serious! If you're interested, comment on it, and I'll explain -- and partly because my babies liked their 'nee nee" better than even a reasonably soft piece of plastic.
I haven't done a lot of pre-made pureed stuff, because they've never liked that, and when they're ready to munch a tiny, easily-broken up cracker, that's what they go for. I've known kids to resist solids as long as 12-14 months - so don't be worried if you're not buying lots of Gerber jars or Puffs for awhile. If I did make any purees, I tended to make them myself with a baby food grinder. A blender or food processor work equally well. You can freeze batches in ice cube trays, and then just pop them out an hour before mealtime, or heat them in the mic for several moments -- of course making sure to check the temp before offering to baby!
When Espen, Baz, and Jo-Jo were born, I worked part-time. So, I also needed a pump for when I 'got full' at work. I used breastmilk bags, tending toward the La Leche or Gerber Store N Go brands, which were both easy to use and fairly inexpensive. I have a very simple hand pump. I did have a plug-in one at first, but did not find it comfortable (probably because it is the cheapest one on the market!) I've heard awesome things about the double Medela pump, and if I was in a market for a new pump, that is the kind I would get.
I did buy a few baby dishes and table ware, but generally haven't used them - I don't think I have any anymore, except for spoons, and two forks, which are helpful at times. (The forks I use for appetizers at parties, in fact! 
). Interestingly enough, my three boys have been very claustrophobic when it comes to bibs, so I haven't used those, either! Less laundry to wash....well, in a way. Just more outfits to wash, actually. I have used Dreft for the first couple of months, but now that I'm making my own laundry detergent, I feel it is gentle enough for a baby, too, so I probably won't buy Dreft. The one downfall of that plan: I Love the Smell of Dreft. So, I may buy some anyway.
A few nursery items you'll need:
- I like these Johnson and Johnson soap cloths for the first couple of baths, rather than using a baby tub. I have neither the room nor desire to own one. Hey, that's just me. I pretty much sponge-bathed the baby, or got in the tub with him, until he could sit up. Otherwise, gentle head-to-toe bathsoap 'no tears' formula is great. I would probably tend toward an organic/natural brand at this point.
- Desitin or A and D, for those red-bottom days.
- Wipes. You can actually make these on your own, too. I did do this quite a few times. I also made flannel wipes for Espen (I use them for Kleenex now, as they're SO soft!). Most often, though, I defer to throwaway ones, out of convenience. I tend to get unscented, but am not picky about whether they are 'all-natural' or not.
- Medicines. I do tend to keep a supply of infant tylenol and ibuprofen, as well as infant Vicks rub, but don't forget your homemade 'medicine chest'. Read this awesome article for all the holistic/healing uses for breastmilk -- God designed us so wonderfully, did he not? There are also 'Mycelin gas drops' you might consider, which I've never used, but would certainly try if I ever had a real gassy baby. Another product I've heard about are 'ear drops' - not sure of the brand. Soothes the ear and moisturizes is, possibly healing an ear that is on the way to infection.
- Some good books to read, or music to listen to while nursing. If you think you'll nurse in the same spot often, set up a comfort station for yourself, with water and snacks, books, videos, music, laptop computer even. But, don't forget to spend time just looking at your baby in wonder. That time goes all too quickly, it seems. *If you are expecting number two, you might want to set up a similar 'comfort station' with special toys, books, or even juice or snacks for the "old baby" to enjoy, while the "new baby" is nursing. I did this for Baz when Jo-Jo was born, and I think it did help the transition a bit.
Whew! I think the main point: You probably need less for a baby than you think -- and you might need less or different things than what most main-stream parenting magazines suggest.
Maybe we'll see you in part 2 someday, if you're still awake. Or, if you're like me, babies, birth, and mothering are the exciting focus of your life, and now you're going to look up all these links, make a card and a meal for a new mom (the BEST GIFT EVER, IMHO), and say a prayer for the safe delivery of your friend's baby. Next post should have prayers, maybe some more product recommendations, and advice for surviving the first days as a new mom -- not just surviving, but thriving! But, that will be sometime later...I have my high school reunion this weekend, so it is doubtful I'll post again this week. Wish me minimal weirdness, if you would. I will probably resist saying 'I invented post-its'. But, we'll see.
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Aug. 10, 2009 - Zen and the Art of Feeding My Children
Note I say, "MY" children, in the title of this post. Not your kids, not your sister's kids, but these ones are mine, all mine. And sometimes I wonder how they survive from day to day, eating such a strange little diet!
I chalk it up not to poor parenting or laxness of offering healthy things. If there is one area I've grown in the last 2 years or so, it is offering healthy stuff to nosh. They just wait, biding their time, like a camel crossing the desert, for hotdogs.
Oh well.
They are off the charts in weight, height, and general smarty-pants-ed-ness, so I just sit, laugh, continue to saute kale and chard, and know that some day they'll thank me for it.
Until then, I have amassed the following Zen-like riddles which you are free to ponder at your leisure.
No matter how much cereal you put in Baz's bowl, he will only eat half of it.
Green foods are not to be eaten, but pushed and mushed around a plate until you can be excused.
Whatever mom offers for breakfast, the answer is, "toast", even if it was not offered. This goes double for if there is no bread left.
When you can pull out the heavy gallon of milk from the fridge yourself and ask for a 'drink of Gik', you drink the whole cup.
When your parents put a child-proof lock on the fridge, and offer you two generous glasses a day, you take a sip and spit it out, and pour the rest on the carpet.
Net loss to family is still one gallon of milk a day.
Pizza or chicken nuggets are acceptable lovely foods only when we don't have friends over for dinner.
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Aug. 5, 2009 - Do Good Books Always Come in Threes?
Perhaps I've bitten off more than I can chew, but I wanted to do my first ever book review, but do it for three books at once! Oh, and should mention that I'm not finished with any of these, but I already am enjoying them enough to say YOU TOO must add them to your "drop everything and read" list!
I have not talked much about my love of reading in this space, but I do. LOVE. to read.
I usually have at least one book going at a time, but sometimes two or three simultaneously. I was encouraged to read in my first book that that is not only permitted, but advisable, according to the suggestions for "Mother Culture" found in A Charlotte Mason Companion: Personal Reflections on the Gentle Art of Learning, by Karen Andreola.
As a mom who is very interested in Charlotte's approach, but has not yet mustered the time and energy to read little more than the briefest paragraph of Charlotte's original work, Andreola's book is a godsend. A great mix of personal stories, real-life examples and ideas, and just the right amount of quoting and original text have made this book a true page turner for me.
Though I am not using this book as part of a group study of discussion, the book is set up to easily be used that way, with discussion questions that help to draw the main points out of each chapter, and space for journaling and note-taking.
All this, and add to it, extremely reasonable chapter lengths. I find that I can read and absorb a chapter in probably 20 minutes time. Though, it could also be said, these chapters can (and will, by me!) be read again and again and something new culled each time from their depths.
Just one gem from the book, you ask? I'm more than happy to oblige. This is just a sentence or two from the chapter 'Living Books' -- for it was this concept that really drew me to the Charlotte Mason approach in the first place (even before I knew much about it): Living books have a certain amount of "play" in them. And just as "all work and no play make Jack a dull boy," all textbooks and no living books willl make Jack and Jill dull children. Their minds might have retained a few facts, but will their minds be livened-up, their imaginations warmed up, and their curiosity stirred up, to want to know more?
Next up on the reader's block....
Introduction to the Devout Life, by St. Francis de Sales
Have you ever read a saints work and thought, "Wow, I can totally see why THEY are a saint, and *I*, on the otherhand, am not!" Oh, me, me, me! Put aside those anxious imaginings when you pick up this wonderful text.
St. Francis de Sales, besides being a personal patron of mine (both IRL and on this here blog), is the patron of writers. And, for good reason. He is SO readable.
The book, addressed to a woman for whom he was spiritual director, walks the reader through a vast series of exercises to teach, and inspire true devotion to God.
Though, technically, I should be finished with this book to review it, I s'pose, but really -- I can't contain the excitement at the great and, in my opinion, APPROACHABLE resources found in this book. I say approachable not because they aren't also challenging, but they are things, ways of prayer, use of imagination, etc, that I can actually attempt to do. They are not so lofty that I can't even attempt them.
Here's an example of a gem you'll find, this one from the chapter entitled: Aspirations, Ejaculatory Prayers, and Good Thoughts, which gives many suggestions on how to remember God throughout your day, in interior motions: "Make spiritual aspirations to God by short, ardent movements of your heart,...Marvel at his beauty, implore his help, cast yourself in spirit at the foot of the cross, adore his goodness, converse often with him about your salvation, present your soul to him a thousand times during the day, fix your interior eyes upon his sweet countenance, stretch out your hand to him like a little child to his father so that he may lead you on, place him in your bosom like a fragrant bouquet, plant him in your heart like a flag..."
Last, but certainly not least, is the book dear TallDad and I have been reading together. We were averaging about a chapter per week and a half, and at this rate should finish the book in about two more months.
Dr. Gregory Popcak, Catholic psychotherapist, counselor, author, and general awesome husband and father (from what I gather listening to the radio show he and his wife, Lisa, host -- which I listen to on Ave Maria radio, as our local station doesn't carry it), has been an author I've enjoyed in several mediums. He frequently contributes to the Couple to Couple League natural family planning organization's magazine, Family Foundations, and has written several books that actually started TallDad and I on our 'reading aloud' journey together. You can read more about him at his website, exceptionalmarriages.com.
This book we're reading, The Exceptional Seven Percent: The Nine Secrets of the World's Happiest Couples" is a bit of a departure from his usual style, in that it is not overtly Catholic (not sure if I'm correct on this, but I think this was written in the late 90's. It was out of print for a little while, but I recently found it on Amazon.com again).
However, in true sneaky evangelization form (which I really do admire and practice myself in my writing) there is nothing in the book, at least that I have found thus far, that openly contradicts or goes against Catholic teaching. I think, with some imagination, an active, informed Catholic can see the Church truly shine through in this book.
Even if one is not interested in that, the book has great value as a marriage-building tool. It begins with an inventory, and overview, of the Nine Secrets. The couple is invited, through a series of easy quizzes, to examine where they are at. That was enlightening for TallDad and I -- if not fairly predicatable! But, that's ok. We look forward, especially, to reading (and re-reading) those chapters that can help us stretch and grow in areas where we particularly struggle, on our way to becoming not ship-wrecked, or conventional -- but truly EXCEPTIONAL!
Each chapter, after several overview/introductory chapters, examines a 'secret' of exceptional couples, and invites the couple reading the book to examine more in depth, through discussion and a quiz of some sort, to really see where they are, and what steps they need to take to better themselves and their marriage.
The idea centers around the creation of a marital imperative -- kind of a guiding principle, motto, mission statement -- for your marriage. That is what TallDad and I worked on this weekend. We didn't finish the exercise quite yet, but are looking forward to solidifying our concept of who we are, and subsequently, what our marriage is about.
The two-step process, of which we have completed step one, involves examining oneself as an individual -- what are you goals and dreams? Who do you want to be 'when you grow up'? I have to admit, I had to think about this quite seriously.
I firmly believe that, though TallDad and I are one, through the sacrament, God does not ordain that women 'lose their individuality and identity' in the sacrament! I need to remind myself of that sometimes. At times, it is hard to picture who I am apart from TallDad and the kids. The other extreme is to claim that individuality, as a woman, so much so that there is detriment to the marriage and family! So, like so many things in Catholic life, it is not either/or, but its Both/And.
The next step is examining each person's personal identity statement, and then melding that together, much as the 'two become one' in the sacrament, to create a marital imperative that supports the individuals, and the goals of the married couple. It is pretty darn cool.
Other things I appreciate about this book: It is not a 'feminist' or 'masculinist' text. It reflects well the complementarity of the sexes that the Church proclaims. Also, Dr. Popcak is just so darn funny -- it is a joy to read. It keeps our interest, we laugh out loud at certain points, and it helps to lighten the serious mood that 'marriage books' sometimes put out.
Add these three to your list, or, if you've already read 'em, tell me what YOU thought of the books!
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Aug. 3, 2009 - Monday Musings...
I'm super duper thankful today....
TallDad and I had a wonderfully refreshing 'get-a-stay' -- we really felt reconnected, recentered, and we sure had a great time. Enough fun and relaxation, and even a mini-retreat. I will be doing three book reviews on Wednesday, and I'm sure you'll be waiting ever-so-impatiently to see what resource we used for a glorious at-home marriage retreat!
I'm also thankful to feel movement from within. LIttle Deluvio has been giving me a gentle barrage of kicks, which is so very consoling, exciting, and such a blessing. Baby and I had our 19 week check up, and also had an ultrasound. Everything looks good -- very healthy baby. The ultrasound technician took several photographs of the baby's heart -- she commented on the beauty of our baby's heart. Wonderful! In case you're wondering (as we were) if we'll have another boy on the ranch, or add a little feminine grace to our place -- another boy it IS! I was prepared to hear boy. Honestly, I don't know what I would have thought if I heard girl! (Though, I still would LIKE a girl, I'm content, very much, extremely content, to trust that God knows what we need, and what the world needs, way better than we do).
The 'big boys' Espen and Baz and I worked on Day 1 of our at-home Catholic Vacation Bible School! It took a few promptings (ok, I really forced them to do most everything!) but by the time we were making our miters (or, mitre, if you prefer) -- that is the hat the pope wears -- Espen remarked, "Wow, I really LIKE this! I didn't this morning, but I'm really enjoying it now!" His exact words!
I'm closing this random post with some random photos, entitled, 'How does my garden grow'. We have a Mary garden, and then a little itty-bitty flower and vegetable garden. We have three surviving tomato plants that have yet to flower, a row of bean plants that are very close together, horseradish, mint that looks like it wont take over my garden, and some raspberries. Can I say again how glad I am we have a share in a CSA again this year? It really takes the pressure off of my backyard garden to produce anything.
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