Sep. 14, 2009 - In Which Laura Gets the Gimmies...
I'll chalk it up to the good ol' nesting instinct --
but,
I know it's probably just silly old materialism rearing its ugly ol' head around my heart --
Lately, I've been dreaming about a new house....
or more projects for this one.
Ugh.
When I get on a thought-jag like this, I have to admit, it is very hard for me to kick. I'm not sure what exactly brings it on, because I truly love our home, our little yard, and feel it IS just right for us right now. I wonder, actually, if being a little overwhelmed or stressed brings these thoughts to circulate inside my brain -- I don't really want to focus on what I actually HAVE to do, so I dream about what, for now, simply cannot be....
Besides the fact that this house is what we need right now, it's definitely what we can afford. I really can't imagine, on the financial side, moving right now. It would be financially irresponsible. But -- in my daydreams about, alternately, a bigger city home, or a bigger (both land and house) country home -- reality is far from the imagining....
Ever read that Berenstain Bears story, where the kids 'get the gimmies'? They just want stuff, stuff, stuff! But, I believe they learn in the end, that stuff isn't what makes you happy.
I DEFINITELY know this to be true in my own life. In fact, probably one stressor that comes up over and over again in my life is the preoccuption with having too MUCH stuff -- because every additional thing one owns, one has to take care of: clean it, maintain it, store it, organize it, sort it..... Having 'stuff' that I know we really don't need, that also comes with caretaking duties, does stress me out. I just finished a minor resort of basement storage stuff, and it makes me breathe easier to again get rid of several boxes of clothes, household items, and some books and magazines that have not been needed in the past year, and therefore, probably will never be needed! I like to pass things on to the next person as soon as possible, if the items are no longer needed by us....
So, what gives? What could have me so overwhelmed, bored, or otherwise mentally unstimulated to be just spending what seems to me to be too often daydreaming about new houses?
Life is busy for our family right now. Parish life, for my husband, a parish worker, is especially busy. He's also in an online degree program in web programming. Both of these things I wholeheartedly support -- but they also make our family life, which includes keeping up the house, doing the laundry, etc, a little less organized -- in addition to both of us feeling overworked and more tired, and less able, at times, to be present to each other or the kids...
I don't want to sound so gloom and doom -- it really is not that way. We're getting through it, usually with cheerfulness and peace -- day by day -- but there are moment, probably like it has been lately for me, when it just all gets to be too much. Add to all of that a busy weekend of socializing with family and friends, and I feel like I need a second weekend to recover from my weekend! Even fun things can tire a pregnant mama out.
I'm endeavoring to continue to take it one day at a time, and trying to keep myself centered on Christ, and God's will for my life, and for the life of our family. I have felt the greatest sense of peace when reading the current spiritual book I"m working on (and have been for quite some time!), "Introduction to the Devout Life". I'm also working on praying the rosary more frequently -- this usually amounts to a decade here or there. I'll also be going to Reconciliation sometime this week -- most likely Thursday -- and I know that receiving that sacrament, as well as the Eucharist, will continue to strengthen me.
So, God is good, even when I get the gimmies!
Peace, all.
