Dec. 8, 2009 - The Temperaments, and My Kids: Part 3 (of 4?) -

Forgive me for reminding you, dear readers, yet again, how close my due date looms. Ahem, *cough - Thirteen Days - cough*, but it's hard to take your mind off it when you waddle like a duck, get heartburn from LOOKING at a cup of coffee, and are having vivid dreams of swaddling, nursing, and forgetting your previously born children at gas stations across the region. Coo coo? Nah, just due date loomin'. Not to worry.

But, every time I get to this point, I think there is some cosmic 'to - do' list, and the sooner I can accomplish those mystical "things that must be done" my water will surely break or something. It hasn't proven to be a bad thought, as far as checking a lot of random stuff off my never-ending list. But, it hasn't usually triggered labor.

 

 

Still, here is one of those projects that I will now wrap up - I began writing about each of my already-borns' temperaments (click here, or here, for the first two installments on Baz and Jo-Jo), and was reminded while reading a new book (well, new to me, that is) by Mary Ann Budnik, "Raise Happy Children -- Teach them Virtues!", that I had never written about my oldest, Espen.

Perhaps that is because Espen and I share the SAME temperament -- and I didn't want to incriminate myself. But again, deferring to (hopefully) impending labor (in around...oh,....say....THIRTEEN DAYS OR SO!!!!!), inhibitions are lost, and incrimination doesn't seem like such a big deal. (Another 'to do' is reconciliation before due date. As far as incrimination is concerned! ha! There are no secrets I can keep from the Lord, so better own up and clean-slate-it. I like going into labor with that just-washed-soul feeling) .

Now, onto the temperament....

At this point in his life, I can say with confidence that Espen is of a choleric temperament -- and so am I. I would also say we both tend towards to the secondary temperament of melancholy -- but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I really appreciate the way this book by Budnik lays out the temperaments, using various Catholic/spiritual resources. Under this temperament, a brief description from the book (pg 43):

"The choleric child uses both the outer and inner senses, and as such is very gifted. This temperament is energetic and reacts immediately, strongly, and long lastingly. This child tends to live in the future building heroic dreams. Truth, justice and beauty are driving ideals. He is self-reliant, a self-starter, a hard worker with a strong will seeking to excel in nobility and greatness."

Other descriptive words: "intelligent...clear, penetrating mind...zeal...affectionate...quickly grasps problems and solutions".

But here's the kicker - for both of us - "For [these] reasons, this child will succeed in whatever area he pursues. In the face of [the strong will of this child] others have to bend or break."

 

 

Whoa. Yeah.

I see Espen clearly in this temperament, with both the positive and negative aspects illuminated.

He is intuitive -- using those inward senses. The other night, when he sulkily refused to eat (or even try) part of his dinner, he was sent to his room for a cool-down time, by me. However, raging pregnancy hormones saw me also burst (well, quietly burst) into tears in my room. I didn't want him to feel like it was all his fault (it was one of those days, and his comment was the proverbial straw on this proverbial camel's aching lower back), but he came seeking me out within a few minutes, jumping around and trying to make me laugh, though I don't think he knew for sure if I was crying or not.

He is observant of the world around him, people, animals, nature, machines - He is intersted in figuring out how things work, and how he can make them work for him! So, sometimes this involved pushing others' buttons, sometimes it involves thinking up creative games, or ways to do a chore. Though he says he doesn't enjoy touching bugs, he sure touched and observed scores of them this summer - I would shudder to think how many would have been in my house if he DID like them! He is also lately fascinated with Legos, Bakugans, and Transformers, and wants to master each of these in putting together and taking apart. He is also an advanced (for his age, I believe) computer user, and has asked for several "lessons" in Microsoft Publisher, where he makes his own "blog" about Transformers.

Energetic? Yeah. No surprise there. But, I think also typical of this temperament, his energy motivates others. I think of a line from "Tommy Boy" with Chris Farley and David Spade (ok, movie is mildly funny, but overall inappropriate. Would not recommend. But, this line, nevertheless, illustrates the point), "He could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman wearing white gloves". That's Espen. The downside to that is he is sometimes sneaky, and gets his brothers to do things that aren't quite right, because they get carried away in his excitement.

Affectionate - definitely. He, besides being the oldest and understanding more about 'what is about to happen' (yeah, yeah, yeah, again with the baby thing), he is very excited to help and be independent with the baby. He rocks our doll, swaddles it, entertains it, and flocks to any REAL babies we happen to meet. And, the amazing and awesome thing is,

Babies Love Espen. They really do.

 

This is the guy that was absolutely thrilled and delighted with the movie "Cheaper by the Dozen" (new version), and remarked, "Hey, why don't WE have 12 kids! That would be so fun! I could help you with all of 'em, mom and dad!".

We had a little 1-yr. old visit us last week, and this sweet little girl is very close to Mommy, and not usually too willing to go to others -- let alone relative strangers. However, Espen helped me care for her, and everytime he was around, she was fine! She smiled and laughed, and reached out her chubby cute 1-yr old arms to him, several times. It was so beautiful. Besides babies, he cuddles his parents, and is very affectionate towards his brothers, and friends.

He is a forward thinker, as well -- just as the description notes. He is looking forward to the next thing, always. This can be good or bad. And, I see this in myself, too. Sometimes we build things up, look forward to them, that when they happen, and then when they're over (and it seems fun is over all too soon, at times!) we fail to appreciate the goodness that we just participated in. For both of us, working on being in the present is something needed.

Ah, truly, I could go on and on. But, a final thought: Cholerics, I think, not only are confident in themselves, but in others. Espen, with his friends (and many times with his brothers) is just so darn encouraging. He listens carefully to what his friends say, and by his attention and encouragement, they open up and talk to him. People LIKE to be around Espen. He is a natural leader - whether on the playground with complete strangers, or amidst his brothers. He has the gift of charisma, very natural to him.

The negative aspects of this temperament: judging too quickly, being headstrong, getting impatient - can be hard to deal with -- and most especially when they rear their ugly little heads in BOTH of us at the same time. Espen in a child that I love dearly, yet realize our alikeness also causes problems from time to time in our relationship. But, that is why I like to revist the information on temperaments from time to time, because I feel they help me become a better parent -- and to also know myself better, and know why I am reacting the way I am to certain things. We all have our pushable 'buttons', don't we?

 

 

 

If there are any other good temperament books to be recommended to me (I'm particularly interested in Catholic/Christian/religious views -- as the history of the temperaments and their study IS religious in nature, actually!) I'd love to hear them. I'll add them to "my List" and, if time in the next 13 days permits, your recommendation may be what sends me into labor! You'd win some sort of prize. Like, coming over to bring me a meal.

 

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Dec. 2, 2009 - Up To....

Life in our little home, doing school, and living our faith day by day hums quite speedily along -- and again, a little less than 3 weeks to the due date of our 4th, some days I WANT it to go slower....and some days, it can't go fast enough!

Thankfully, we have lots of little milestones to look forward to. We use a neat online calendar, (www.cozi.com - check it out!), and have added many fun times to it -- it is consoling, I think, to look forward and not just see "d - day" highlighted in red, but many enjoyable events on the horizon to fill the time, all in good ways.

One such fun event just concluded, an event that had been on my radar for 6 months at least! It kind of explains the absence of blogging lately, and I do like to 'keep up', at least weekly, with this blog/journal, so I thought I would post 'what I've been up to' in the form of this, a reflection I gave on Advent for the Mom's group I'm part of at my parish.

The event, Advent by Candlelight, I think is not an unfamiliar one, but we had never tried it before. The concept is pretty simple - each hostess (which can be a member of the mom's group, or member of the parish - either works fine) provides table decorations - usually centered around a theme - and a delicious dessert for her table of 8. The evening is almost entirely lit by candles (with a few lights on, for safety's sake). There is a social half-hour, for others to view each decorated tables, and visit with each other. Then, a short program consisting of a welcome, prayer, and Advent reading from Scripture. Following a musical solo (which I provided this year, "O Holy Night") everyone eats dessert, drinks coffee and punch, and enjoys some woman-time. Then, a reflection on a topic relevant to Advent is given, followed by a carol sing-a-long (which a group of musicians, and myself as songleader, led for the group), then a closing prayer. Easy peasy -- and so very enjoyable. I think it worked well for our group, and, even though it was the first year and that maybe necessitated more thought and work, it was really so very simple. We also used this as a fundraiser, asking for a free-will donation of 5 - 10 (or more! or less!) of each guest. We had 100 people attend our first ever "Advent by Candlelight" and we were really pleased with that amount!

Well, without further ado, here's what I've been writing and thinking about for the last month and a half! I had a great experience that night in giving this reflection - rarely have I felt so led by the Spirit, who truly guided my words and actions and voice that night. It is so cool to sit down after speaking and have this...well, almost out-of-body kind of feeling like, "Ok, that was me, but that was so NOT me, too. Thank you Jesus!"

Have a blessed Advent, one and all!

Reflection for Advent by Candlelight, 2009

Copyright Laura Devick

  It is “a time of standing still, and yet making a pilgrimage. It is an inner pilgrimage, a pilgrimage in which we don't use our feet. We stand still; yet, in a manner of speaking, we walk a thousand miles across the world - just because we chose to stand still.”

To what does this quote refer? It refers to a season where, outside our homes, the light fades more quickly every day – to be replaced by the increasing glow of candle-light, week by week. It refers to the time of our liturgical calendar where the new year begins, but our secular calendar says the old year is still passing away. It is a time when we give gifts to each other with festive wrappings –but the best gift of all awaits us at the end of the journey, in a stable, wrapped in poor clothes, lying in a manger.

The quote I began with is from an essay by an amazing woman, Catherine Doherty, who I would like to invite to be our guide in this reflection tonight. Catherine Doherty was not only a champion of the homeless and hungry, but was a fantastic writer, and speaker. She was also a mother, an immigrant, a married woman who experienced divorce and annulment, and, in a second marriage became a widow. The rest of her life was spent as a single person, selflessly serving others through outreach ministry, even as she grew old and experienced the typical infirmities of an aging body. She is a womanly role-model I think we can all relate to, no matter where we’re coming from tonight. Catherine writes, “Advent is a short season, yet it covers a long distance. It is the road of a soul from Nazareth to Bethlehem. …it is a road into infinity, into eternity. It has a beginning, but no end. In truth, Advent is the road of the spiritual life which all of us must start if we do not want to miss the way.”

Advent, which started yesterday, and continues for the next 25 days, is a true journey. A journey is a movement from one place to another, and rather than ‘trip’ or ‘vacation’, the word journey conjures up different descriptive words – perhaps ‘saga’, or ‘epic’ – we might picture the Oregon Trail….the voyage of the Mayflower….or even life events, like birth, and death.

The journey of Advent is often understood to be like a womanly code word for: “rush around crazily trying to do ten million things that seem to be of the utmost importance and wear you out so you’re too exhausted to enjoy the preparation you actually did, and of course there are still 2 million things on the list that just didn’t happen and that it seems like your kids and husband and friends family didn’t really notice anyways and you’re really glad Christmas only comes once a year because you just want to rest, for Pete’s sake.” How can we ditch that mentality by the side of the road, in favor of the joyful hope that should be our constant companion as we prepare to greet our host at the end of the journey, the Lord, Jesus Christ?

We have heard and will continue to hear in our Sunday Scripture readings urgency, and challenge. Though these readings are often referred to as apocalyptic, and do indeed sound strange to our ears – they are not meant to make us afraid – they are meant to make us ready ourselves and our souls. Christ is coming – we need to be ready. They let us know this isn’t just any journey we’re taking. There is great joy, and there is also great cost to our discipleship. In these readings, we see a clear connection between the season of Advent, and Lent, as well.

Advent ends at the stable – with a glorious birth. Several months later, in our liturgical calendar, we start a journey that ends with a passion and death – and then a resurrection. Advent’s character, then, is solemnly joyful in its preparation – because of where we end up. A journey to birth is full of promise, full of joy, even in spite of the hardship we might encounter to get there.

When we prepare for the journey of Advent, we’re preparing for the entry of Jesus Christ into time and history. We’re also looking for when he comes again, to call all to himself. That’s why we’re hearing these readings – Alpha and Omega – beginning and End – that is Jesus, for us. These are forever intertwined, because we know the true end of the journey. A stopping place only is the stable – it truly ends with resurrection after a crucifixion.

On our journey, all our senses are invited to be awakened. On a very real and practical level, how do we experience all our senses on this journey? We’ve already said that Advent is a season of paradox – not either/or, but Both/And. So, I wanted to offer the following suggestions of how we might follow the lead of our senses to celebrate the active waiting and experience the joyful hope of this season. For each sense, we can choose to pull back or fast, or choose to give and open up. But, we start it all off with considering that the time and purpose of Advent is different than the time and purpose of Christmas. How to we respond to this truth?

First, how are the sounds of  Advent unique?

One idea for a celebration of Advent is to fast from Christmas music. Yes, there is a difference between Advent and Christmas music. I’ve made 2 Advent CD’s – and I listen to them in Advent. I have 2 more CDs that are Christmas CD’s, and I make a huge effort to only play each of these in the appropriate season.

How we talk in Advent can also make a difference in the journey. Try saying, “Happy Advent” or “Blessed Advent”, instead of Merry Christmas. Let your mind hear where you are in this moment of time, and not get ahead of yourself.

Make time for silence. At your house, turn the TV or radio off. Talk about the journey of Advent with those your know, or those who share your household. Make time for silent prayer.

Next, sight. What do we see in our Advent journey that is different than at Christmas?

Consider waiting on the Christmas decorations – put your tree up a week later than usual. That can be a hard thing to do – but it might make sense. We long for that greenery, that fullness, that tradition. Absence can make the heart grow fonder. (Also, one less week to obsessively vacuum up needles).

Guarding our eyes can also mean avoiding the temptation to over-shop. Getting overly commercialized is a sure ticket way to be in Christmas, even its still Advent. We all KNOW, in our hearts, that gifts aren’t the most important thing about Christmas – yes, a beautiful tradition, surely, but Christmas still happens without them. For some, getting the shopping done before Advent is a goal. For others, making a budget and sticking to a list. Whatever you do, do it mindfully – with prayer. Have you ever prayed before you shopped? Consider starting. Remember, Jesus only got three gifts to celebrate his own birth.

Our sense of touch is next – how do we experience Advent through this sense?

Make a snowball, or a snowfort. Feel the cold and chill. Count your blessings, giving thanks for a warm home.

Think of those sharing this journey with you – some you know, like those who are in “your car” with you. But others stopping along their journey are in need of friendship. This can remind us to do things like: Visit someone who is ill, homebound, someone in need of a friend. Let your life touch others. Be Christ’s hands and feet to others.

Finally, the senses of Taste and Smell during  Advent can be approached in several ways.

First, through Fasting: fasting from over-eating of the sweets is a good place to start – save some room for Christmas. Offer up your sacrifice for the sake of others. Or, have a celebration of tastes on the Sundays of Advent, trying to go without during the week, as another way of preparing your heart.

Next, through sharing: Cook a special meal for someone. Deliver a meal to a new mom. Deliver a meal to an experienced mom, who is missing her kids that live far away. Share what you have and host a potluck. Meals are special – they all point, in some way, to the Eucharistic table, and the heavenly banquet to come. Bring the gift of your presence – and the gift of your time. Those gifts are probably the most valuable – and yet how often do we tell ourselves we can’t really afford to give them?

Our senses help us to be aware as we are journeying. Joyful hope – waiting, actively – can and should involve our whole body. But, even the most active waiting experiences lulls – in energy, in time, in the plain old overwhelm or even boredom. Catherine Doherty advises us not to be lulled to sleep, but to enjoy the Advent scenery on our journey. We can contrast this with a road trip. Many times, when we’re on a road trip, falling asleep (if you’re not the driver, that is,) is a good thing – you go to sleep, you wake up, and you’re there! But, in the journey of Advent, you need to stay awake.

As Catherine wrote:  

“We have so many 'sleeps'.

We have that strange inner sleep that wants to escape from whatever we have to conduct in the marketplace with the powers of secularism.

And we have that other emotional sleep that drags us into bed (literally, if we only could get there) to escape an even bigger fight with the powers of darkness within ourselves. For we know that we have to 'die to self' so that we may live in Christ, and this is hard for us to face.

We also have to fight the simple sleep of weariness that any vocation places on the shoulders of its members - weariness of body, weariness of mind, and weariness of soul.”

These three points are challenging to overcome, but not challenging to relate to. Who among us hasn’t experienced the first kind of sleep Catherine mentions – the kind that wants to escape the daily tasks we have to do?  And yet, in a season again full of paradox, we can reflect and feel joy that the ‘outside world’, whatever that means for each of us, the secular world, is not the only world for us as people of faith. We are constantly on a journey, as this world is not our true home – we are pilgrims, on a journey, Heaven is our true home. There is a certain natural unease, a wearing down of our hearts, from time to time, and yet our witness in the world is no less important or needed.  

Secondly, Catherine mentions an emotional sleep – in which we find it hard, or refuse to face, the darkness and sin inside ourselves. Advent is a great time to get our hearts in the right place – and that is, right with God: Go to reconciliation. Ask forgiveness of others. Let go of grudges and old hurts.  

Lastly, we know the actions of the body affect the inner workings of our heart. As Catherine puts it, this third kind of sleep is a “weariness of body, weariness of mind, and weariness of soul.” – we all know weariness affects us deeply, from the outside in, and sometimes from the inside out.

When we’re traveling on a journey of any kind, and Advent is no exception, we need to enjoy the process. Our Advent wreath can be a good teacher for us. It marks the time week by week, patiently waiting to light up. It is not as much appreciated or noticed if all the candles are lit at once. Similarly, we keep our eyes focused on our feet, and then glancing up to the horizon from time to time, a horizon which daily grows brighter – as our Advent candles are lit one by one, drawing us to Christ, our true Light.        

When we come to end of the journey of Advent, and the bells ring in Christmas Day, it is my hope, that if we actively wait, and thoughtfully celebrate this journey, we will all reach our destination with a good kind of tired – Not an exhaustion that turns us into a bah-humbug sort of person. But a kind of tired that is, at the same time, and again, paradoxically, ready for celebration.  We’re ready to relax with our hosts. We’re ready to explore new landmarks at the journey’s end. Our journey ends with the birth of Christ, and continues through the Christmas season.

As Catherine wrote: “Let us arise, …and begin our journey to Bethlehem.

But let us understand that this 'Bethlehem' we seek is within our own souls, our own hearts, our own minds. Advent is a time of standing still, and yet making a pilgrimage. It is an inner pilgrimage, a …journey of the spirit …. Let us 'arise and go'.”

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Nov. 17, 2009 - Letting it Go, Getting it Done...

I've had a few funny moments -- opportunities, really -- to continue to let go of my expectations and just go with the flow. They have been challenging at times, but I think ultimately good for me. To me, the process relates to good stewardship. There is a little stewardship anecdote about thirst that works well to illustrate it --

Imagine being really thirsty, doing some hard work in the vineyard (or the backyard garden). A kind soul comes around with a water dipper (or the garden hose). You hold your hand out to receive the water. What happens next is up to you -- to prevent the water from escaping before you can drink it, you might close your hand. The tighter you close it around the water, the more runs out of your hands. But, if you keep your hands open, you retain all the water that was originally poured. Yes, it seems risky and counterintuitive -- most things we want to keep, we clutch. But water, that gives life, must be received with an open hand, or risk losing it all.

I've always loved this simple illustration, and can so very easily apply it to my life, my marriage, my kids, even household management.

I have had a few moments lately where I have bemoaned my recent lack of formal schedule -- remember when I wrote that we were sick? We are still, 4 weeks later, not really back in the swing of things, really. How can I approach that issue with an open hand?

I realized, this morning, that they're still learning a lot.

Learning 'follow through' - when they cleaned their room...to MY satisfaction, not theirs (and that includes the beds. They don't care about messy sheets, but *I* do)

Learning how to work together as a family - Espen and Jo-Jo have especially been playing well together lately, and having a lot of fun. Espen has even helped Jo-Jo "go" on the potty

Applying knowledge - Baz picked out a bright striped sweater today, and said, "Mom, I want to wear that, because it's just ike Joseph's coat of many colors in the Bible!" Sweeeeet!

And, another example - we read a 'tall tale' as part of a, well, nothing as formal as a unit study, but, hey, I got a book from the library, and we are working our way through it -- we read about Davy Crockett. At lunch, suddenly Baz said, "Santa is not reaaaalllllly real." And I answered, "Well, St. Nicholas is, and that is who Santa Claus stories are based on. Kind of like how Davy Crockett was real, but people though he was so great, they also invented tall tales about them." Then, Espen told a tall tale about TallDad's cat (as a kid), Lucky, who was found and rescued under incredible circumstances. He even used a 'Western' accent, like I used when I read the book this morning...

I've been struggling with how to do copywork, and not boring poor Espen to tears -- he does like to write, but he'd rather choose a subject. Yesterday, he copied words out of a kids dictionary of his favorite foods, then opened up a Word document, and typed them in. That was pretty cool -- and all on his own initiative! He told me, "Mom, I have my own blog now!"

Ah, they are all three of them boys after my own heart.

May God help me daily to realize that His plans might be for me to be less "organized" and more loving. Less "together" with it all, and more present to the children. Maybe sacrifice a tidier house, in the favor of a spontaneous art project (messy art is something they love, but I continue to struggle with). Most of all, may I have an open hand with the kids, knowing that they are just "on loan" to me, and I want to present them to God not with their spirits broken to suit my needs, my timetable, my preferences and idiosyncracies, but with spirits full of love and joy, discipled in the proper direction - towards holiness and heaven!

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Nov. 10, 2009 - Quality, Quantity, or Just the Thought -- that Counts?

In a recent email sent to me by a friend, this dear one bemoaned the fate of being a new mom -- loving motherhood -- but all the same, feeling torn and somewhat unsettled with the difference between her prayer life - then and now.

I can so relate.

I've been mulling over my thoughts on this, and want to get a few words down, at least, and would welcome and thoughts from other moms or single women - or dads, or single men, for that matter --

The crux of the issue, for her -- and, I have decried the same fate from time to time -- is a questioning of what really 'counts' in ones' prayer life. Or, to look at it another way, feeling inside that we must to this or that, or we want to give this or that, or 'accomplish' this or that -- to have the sense that our prayers to God are effective...worth it...helping us...getting us closer to God.

The reality of the issue, for all of us, is that different seasons of life come with different responsibilities. St. Frances of Rome said, "Sometimes we have to leave God at the altar to find him at home."

The first time I read that quote, I reacted in disbelief. Any "good" Christian, worth her salt, will make the necessary sacrifices to 'keep up' her prayer life -- even after the kids come....and come....and come....and come again....and again....

Wait a second -- were we just talking about reality?

I react differently to that quote today, and try not to make my reaction a cop-out, but an acceptance of God's will for my life's vocation. God didn't will me (or my friend) to remain single. He called us to be married, and to welcome and care for children. I feel he has called me, for this time, to homeschool, too. That leaves precious little "alone time" whether in the house, or time to hop in the car or walk to the nearest church to pray.

So, what are we all to do?

We need to decide how we'll focus out attitude towards prayer.

Are we going to quantity only? Rack up 2 hours a day, or whatever, and that is good? We all know our imperfect minds wander after about...say....3 minutes! It is conceivable that one could keep drawing their mind back to God and prayer -- that is discipline, pure and simple. But, it is unreasonable to give that much time a day, for most moms. So, we can't judge our prayer (and our relationship with God) solely on time spent.

How about rating it by quality? Which prayers are the best? The ones we speak spontaneously from the heart, or the ones we memorize and say by rote, but with feeling and intention? Is there a special formula that God listens to more, that perfects us more? What if we're not "in the mood" to offer that sort of quality -- due to exhaustion, stress, crabbiness, or even excitement or joy related to some other matter? If we're not sombor enough, can we forget about crossing 'prayer' off our list for the day? Or, if we don't raise our arms, singing in praise, have we not really prayed?

I keep coming back to the idea that, truly, for me, in this season of life -- I can't measure my relationship with God by the amount of time I spend with Him -- because that varies day to day, in the journey of my vocation. What IS important, is that I think about spending that time, and make every reasonable effort to do so.

I can't make a prayer-success-yardstick with some ethereal idea about the quality of my prayer. I'm a perfectionistic person about many things -- and my best efforts would never be good enough for ME -- and I might doubt they'd be good enough for God (though I'd be wrong, I'm sure -- ). But, I still should strive for my conversations with God to be attentive and active.

Sometimes, for Christmas or a birthday, we'd receive a gift that wasn't on "our list". It wasn't newfangled...maybe it wasn't even new, but used....needless to say, it wasn't what we expected. Did you ever receive a gift like that? But, through some chance miracle, you had an openness to truly receiving the gift, and it became something you treasured anyway -- unexpected, unplanned, uncalculated, perhaps at first, unwanted, undesired...undesirable? In that case, which we have probably all experienced, it WAS 'the thought' that truly counted.

If I can keep God in my thoughts -- regardless of for how long, before the next mini-crisis erupts in the household -- God knows it.

If I can grab the spare moment, when everyone is happily occupied, and my household chores are caught up, for the time being, and offer that to God, whether through rote prayer, spontaneous prayer, or, as St. Therese of Lisieux wrote about prayer calling it, "a glance of the heart" toward God in heaven -- God knows it.

If stress, exhaustion, worry -- or joy or excitement or overstimulation -- render my prayer what I would consider less than perfect, God knows my thoughts, and he knows the intentions of my heart -- and I believe he'll still bless me for my human effort.

It's possible for us 'marrieds' to look back fondly on single life as a golden time of prayer -- being able to give all we can give to God, with less responsibility to anyone but ourselves -- and so, this time of singleness can also be a time of selfishness, or temptation towards selfishness, at least.

Single life can also be terribly lonely. The grass is not always greener.

On the flip side, many single people long to be married, so they can share their prayer life with their spouse and kids. Again, the grass is not necessarily greener -- I mean, you have to take time out to mow the grass, for one thing! But, you also learn a lot more about 'prayer on the go', because my kids just don't sit still. One decade of the rosary? Maybe. One 'Our Father' before Dad leaves for work is hard enough most days.

We can't give up -- God is always near -- even if we feel like our efforts are small and unworthy. God is ready to meet our needs, though our prayer be imperfect. God wants to bless us in this season, and all to come.

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Nov. 3, 2009 - A Few Random Funnies...

No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth...Just had H1N1 (probably) -- you know...no big deal.

 

Ok, so it WAS a big deal, but I'm better now.

Interestingly enough, with writing some articles, various freelance work, and preparation for an Advent reflection at my mom's group fundraiser event to work on, I have not felt the desire (nor had the time) to do much free writing on this blog. Today, though, I just had to get a few words in, before they exited my pregnancy-addled brain, never to be heard from again.

Two stories about Baz:

- My little guy, almost 4 years old now!, was looking through the Family Consecration to Mary Book -- I think many Catholic moms know this one -- and he really enjoys looking through our various holy books/prayer books/pamphlets at the pictures.

Well, this time, he was looking at the words...He was pointing, naming the letters.

"M....E....I.....L.....R....O...V..." Then, a pause, and, this followed: "Velvet Painting of Elvis..."

Um....ok.

- I was out one evening for our parish mission, and when I got home, TallDad had this story. He was trying to keep the crises to a minimum, and was successful for a time, until he realized Baz was no where to be seen, and he couldn't recall seeing him or hearing from him for at least 30 minutes -- uhoh, not a good sign.

When he did find him, he had wedged himself behind the bathroom door, and was applying my make-up. TallDad said he had a uni-brow going on, made from mascara, and a wide clown-mouth lipstick! Right when Dad found him, he said, "I know, I know...I know I shouldn't be doing this. I"m putting it all away now, see? I'm sorry." Hmmm...that was quick.

 

I also think I should begin to keep a notebook especially for the random objects I find in random locations throughout the house.

For instance: Plush Elmo in the vegetable crisper.

...Legos, blocks, and toy cars in the oven warmer drawer on consecutive days.

...candy stuffed into the bed-rail in Espen's top bunk (and he thought I wouldn't find it! I decided to make his bed myself that day, so it would be nice and straightened, and discovered his cache, like a little sugar-high squirrel would make).

 

A few school stories....

We have been enjoying our homeschooling year, and after everyone has recovered from illness, are back on track with some daily learning. I'm slowly figuring out that the more relaxed I CAN be, the better our days go. I was sitting down to make up our Nov, Dec, and January schedule, and really didn't want to make as much of a daily schedule as make topics that could be covered appropriately throughout the month. I just don't think I, or they, are ready for a full-on checklist. Our life is just not like that yet -- and we're expecting a new arrival in just about, oh let's see, seven or so weeks, give or take....

I don't want to use the baby as an excuse, but I think plenty of learning still occurs, and still will occur, as we get used to our new family member...

But, what have we been working on?

Espen today made Chapter 1 of a Transformer Book -- it was a perfect copywork exercise that he did very willingly. He dictated to me, I wrote on another piece of paper, and then he copied into his new notebook. Sweet!

Baz readily knows his letters, and numbers to ten now, which was a big fall goal. What's next  for him? He is showing quite an interest in the piano, and though I wouldn't start anything very formal with him, I may teach him a song or two. The last week or so, he has sat down, and plunked out triads, and also a little melody we made up from the "Tale of Timmy Tiptoes" story by Beatrix Potter -- it was amazing. He amazed himself! I poked my head around the corner, and asked him, "Is that Timmy's song?" and he looked at me wide-eyed, "Yeah!"

Jo-Jo's schoolwork right now is "Potty Training 101". He's getting REALLY good at number 1 (no more potty on the piano, thankfully), though number 2 is still a daily mess for me to clean up. Oh well...1 out of 2...50% before age 2 1/2 is pretty darn good, from our past experience. Jo-Jo also is interested in the two baby dolls that have made it into our house lately. He'll often hand me the doll, and say, "Needs Mama." and then will tell me what the baby needs, "Nee-Nee (mommy's milk), Sleep, Cudd-oh Baby," -- ah, if he only knew what awaited him. Or, maybe he does know, and he's trying to prepare me?

 

I have that sense, more and more, of the calm before the storm. I don't mean to phrase that negatively, but -- I enjoy SUCH a freedom right now -- going out to meet a friend for coffee for an hour last night, for instance. I know that, for the first 6 - 10(!) months of our new baby's life, he'll be with me. That doesn't smother me as much as it did for the first two -- I'm very embracing of it. But gosh, it IS just so different....So, over the next weeks, I'll soak up some opportunities to 'get away' and do those little things I enjoy on my own. I'm more than happy to share them with out baby blessing though, too -- I realize what a great honor and privilege and blessing it is to have a healthy pregnancy and baby, and my heart goes out to all those who have struggled and experienced loss either before or after birth....

I hope fall is treating ya'll well.....and look for more regular posting from me....at least for the next seven weeks or so!

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Oct. 20, 2009 - The Benefit of Prayer...even when you can't pray...

As I write this, there are brownies baking in the oven -- mmmmm....brownies......

I might get to try one, but they mostly will be eaten by others, I have a feeling.

And, probably no one in my house!

I'm baking a few pans of brownies for a benefit that will be hosted at our church tomorrow, to support two lovely women in our parish, one with lymphoma, one with leukemia.

Though I know both, the woman, a wife, mom of 5, and founder of a Catholic mom's Bible study -- that we currently use at our parish -- is a special friend of mine.

As I read her caringBridge site throughout the last 40 days  (yes, she was in the hospital for EXACTLY 40 days. How poignant is THAT?) - I was struck by several things that she (and her sister, who 'blogged' for her at times) had to say...

Number one on my mind right now is the acceptance of God's will (that is, for her to suddenly be diagnosed with cancer, and have to report to the hospital on that same day to begin treatment), almost as cheerfully as I've ever seen anyone do anything fun that they would enjoy doing. He upbeat nature is what has drawn to many to her -- as soon as her site was set-up, literally over a thousand people sent her guestbook messages, and kept in regular contact.

She maintained her cheerfulness, despite her illness....despite a white blood cell count so low she could not have any visitors outside of immediate family....despite --

Number Two thing that struck me: Even with her cheerfulness, the illness -- the leukemia -- sapped her of strength and energy, and for some time during her stay, she found prayer incredibly difficult. It was not that she didn't want to pray -- in some strange way that is probably only understood by those who have gone through illness such as this -- she simply could. not. pray.

Both of these things (and there are so many others I could write about) really made me think about the figts God gives to us. She has had many challenging experiences in life (even besides being a mom of 5! ha!), and yet retains this bouyancy of spirit, always. That is surely a gift from God, and part of her natural personality as well. To me, it was consoling to know that a sudden diagnosis, such as cancer, couldn't take that away from her.

I've read and heard in homilies that when we finally stand before God, everything in our personality that wasn't God-given, even talents, etc, will be stripped away. The soul will stand truly naked before God, retaining only the qualities God endowed him or her with.....

The inability to pray struck me, too -- and highlight the importance, to me, of all of us, her friends, acquaintainces, children, husband, family, parish family -- needed to hold her up in prayer. She couldn't find the ability to pray at times -- but through the mystical Body of Christ, the connection that truly binds us all, our prayers could still have effect to not only plead to God on her behalf, but to somehow keep her in good spirits, and even affect the outcome of her illness. I'm sure receiving a thousand or so thoughtful, prayerful posts on your CaringBridge site every day would certainly help you feel wrapped in prayer and care!

I'm excited, thankful, and looking forward to the benefit tomorrow. It is a celebration of what God can do, what God can inspire our own hands and feet to do to serve others, and a time for fellowship and a hug.

Life is such a mystery. The story might have ended much differently. That is perhaps the hardest thing to think about. Her cancer may NOT have gone into remission...She might have needed a bone marrow transplant (she still may, at some point). She might not have gone home within 40 days....or at all.

And yet, even those things could have conceivably been within God's will. Why was it God's will to spare her, now? I guess I can't pretend to understand the Divine Mind...but I will say I'm happy that my will and God's matched up on this one....

 

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Oct. 15, 2009 - Friday Reflection...

I feel like we are getting into the school groove, and the key word in this is: flexibility!

Oh, how hard it is for me to learn this word! But OH, how necessary.

I have been feeling good, though, about having a plan....then having the wisdom (well, most of the time) to know when to deviate from it...

...when playing a game is more important than checking something off a list (and hey, they learn so much through games, too!)...

...when settling in under snuggly blankets to watch a half-hour "Thomas the Train" movie is just the thing to get Jo-Jo to sleep, and thus ensure about 2 hours of quiet lunch and school time for the older two -- even though watching TV during the weekdays is reallllly not on "the list"...

...when I'm interrupted during a period of 'me time' reading or at the computer by Jo-Jo needing me to take him potty, Baz wanting to show me a game he just made up, or Espen asking if he can do a load of laundry -- I just have to give thanks for their learning, creativity, and desire to be helpful -- and I can take a break from "my" time to be present to them, knowing it'll all even out in the end....

I was talking with my mom last week when she was over to play with the boys, and she encouraged me, "Enjoy these day -- you will miss them someday!" She and Dad are now "empty-nesters", though I think I still keep them busy enough with my little requests! -- but they do have a different amount of time just alone with each other. They are more in love than ever -- but the absence of the pitter-patter of the feet of their kids does still affect them. (I'm only two happy to loan 3 sets of feet to pitter patter around!...but its still not the same).

I try to keep that perspective in my days, when

- it's only 1:30, and seems like it should have been 5:00 hours ago. WHERE is TALLDAAAAAAD? Save me!

-cooperation is low from them or me, for whatever task we may be trying to accomplish

-this baby in my belly is kicking my ribs, and its losing its cuteness

-we're tired, cranky or hungry 

Because, though I haven't experienced what my parents are going through right now, I know that someday --

- 1:30 to 5:00 will still seem long, but I don't have them to share it with...

- I will wish for them to be here, uncooperative or not, to fill my afternoon with their laughter and goofiness

-this baby won't be a baby anymore...

-I'll only be cooking for two, I can sleep whenever *I* want, and my crankiness might be from seeing them too seldom.

I know those days will come, even as I know that some days I fail to appreciate what we're going through right now. What a balance to try to strike in this life.

It's a rollercoaster, isn't it? Enjoy the ride.

 

 

 

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Oct. 7, 2009 - In case someone ever goes potty on your piano and you have to take it apart: a step by step guide

Ok, if you hadn't guessed by the subject heading, this post will include references to "urine". It is innocent urine, little boy pee, but nonetheless, you may choose to a) not read this post b) not read while eating/near eating/if you ever plan to eat again, depending how sensitive you stomach is or c)...uh, I can't think of any more options.

Most moms and dads can probably relate to this situation, even if the selfsame has not happened to you. But, I just couldn't go another day without posting.

Oh, and also there are pictures.

But not of the potty.

Mostly of the piano.

 

Step 1: Your child pees on the keyboard of your piano.

Step 2: You debate about what to do. You've never taken a piano apart....and wonder, if you did, if you could put it back together.

Step 3: You decide to let it go.....much like your son did, just moments ago.

Step 4: You change your mind when, upon examining the underside of the keyboard, you notice urine dripping -- quite rapidly, in fact -- out of one of the screw holes.

Step 5: You roll up your sleeves, and roll back the first part of the piano. There is absolutely no way you can access anywhere near the keys through this. You examine the piano further.

Step 6: You realize that the music stand, L-shaped wood behind the music stand, is just one piece, and has only 2 screws attaching it to the main body of the piano. So, you take a deep breath and get your screw driver, hoping something strange, random, and dangerous won't happen if you start messing with this instrument.  

Step 7: You realize there are two pieces beneath to take off -- the sliding cover over the keyboard, and the wood to which that is attached. You take off the first part, then the wooden support. Nothing snaps or breaks. Whew.  

Step 8: Success. Whith everything out of the way, you can now lift up the keys, and clean out the area with small squares of lint-free cotton. (Don't use bathroom cotton swab make-up-remover squares like I did. But, it did work to mop it up. Just kind of linty.)

Step 9: You've never been so thankful for a dust bunny, as it stopped the trickle of pee-pee from going any farther...at least in the direction of the lowest notes. A wooden support stopped it from going past the G below middle C. (Yes, he's got quite a "range". Har har.)

Step 10: Find random objects as you're cleaning, and wonder.

Step 11: Put it all back together. Have a good laugh, and a sip of coffee. Realize how blessed you are, and make it a goal to play piano more often, before something worse happens to this instrument.

Step 12: Put diaper on child.

 

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Oct. 6, 2009 - Slowing Down...

Sometime around Month 7 of pregnancy, things start to get a little weird in my body....

My hips go all loosey-goosey, resulting in lower back pain and hip pain, necessitating the need for a 'third trimester' belt to hold it all in place. It's a natural process -- the body is loosening up, relaxing, so that the pelvic bones can spread to accomodate the baby's entrance into the world...

My throat and accompanying muscles within slacken, allowing anything spicy, citrusy, or sometime carb-y to cause me heartburn, almost at any time of day or night. To counteract this, we have switched our eating schedule to be more of the 'frequent, small meals' type, which is healthier for all of us in the long-run anyway. Again, this is a natural process of the body, though troublesome at times...

My sleep is frequently interrupted by the need to get up an use the bathroom,...or by a slight irritation, such as a child touching me, or by...I don't know what. A dream? A noise? ... This, too, is a natural process -- almost as if the body is getting itself used to be woken up at frequent intervals to feed a hungry newborn....

Often, this is the time when my emotions start to go a little haywire, too. In the past, being medicated for depression, this would be the point where the meds didn't work...or, if I wasn't on meds, I'd need to start them. At this point, I'm not medicated for depression, but I do sense those moments in my behavior or attitude that points toward the hormonal surges giving me some 'down' thoughts.

    However, this time around, I have less "baggage" in my head. While I know its not the choice of every mom (or possible for every mom), being at home with my kids has given me so much more peace during this pregnancy. I have an intuition, deep inside, that what would usually set off my downward spiral was the thought of the birth (happy!), the first 3 months (maternity leave), but then -- returning to work (yuck! leave my baby??). For the last two kids, I took them to work with me a good deal of the time -- and was so very thankful for my boss' openness to that, as well as the welcome of my co-workers to this situation -- but it was still stressful for me. I felt like I wasn't really able to be present to both my 'paid work' and my "REAL work' as a mom. Now, that is just me -- but....you have to know yourself, and I have been blessed to know that being at home is the right choice, for me....

But, over and above these bodily physical changes, there are changes in my heart.

When I look at each of my already-born children, and my husband, I have slowed down enough to reflect on the different emotions within me as I consider each one .....

Espen...

    the first born. courageous, yet tender. a born leader. wild, and given to mood-swings. also steady and dependable. lives his own paradoxes, but likes his environment to be understandable and without question. my gentle bear -- he is not either/or, he is both/and. getting so tall. sometimes so sure of himself, sometimes still wanting to cuddle in my lap. learning so much. eager to help and please. kind to his younger brothers. a true friend...

Baz...

   a gentle soul. emotional and sensitive. creative and artistic. would just as soon dance as kick a soccer ball, or sing instead of yell. daily amuses us with funny faces and insights. sometimes acts like the true middle child that he is -- gets his words often interrupted, so we have to listen closely and encouragingly, so he'll say what is truly on his heart. can sit and look and wonder for long periods of time. can be independent in his imaginary play, but needs a big or little brother around so he doesn't get lonely. a peaceful person, a gift...

Jo-Jo...

   my 'oldest' baby, yet still so young. there is more space between him and his brother to be born, so he has been cuddled and perhaps coddled, but he holds his own. he shows that he admires his big brothers by copying their good, and sometimes not-so-good actions, and he depends on their friendship and love, and responds with his loyalty. amused by watching. amused by performing for us! speaking sentences, beginning to tell us his thoughts, sometimes struggling to find words he has never before said. a cheerful dreamer...

and, of course, TallDad...

   rock. friend. support. lover and companion. seems to bear all cheerfully, yet trusts in me enough to vent when things are tough at work, with school, with the kids, or whatever else is going on in our life. funny, creative. serious, good listener. a willing and active dad, a caretaker of us all in so many ways. truly increasing his competence every day. we share it all. friend of my heart, love of my life...

 

As my body slows down, and my thoughts begin to focus on all the gifts I've been given, I realize what a blessing it all is - life, the blessing of bearing children, pregnancy, family, peace...

 Gone is the first trimester tiredness, irritability, and illness.

       Gone, too, is the burst of energy and pinky glow of the second trimester.

 

The third trimester is what it is.

 

Large. Heavy.                                              Slow.

A chance to sit and think -- and a good excuse to do so -- because it is getting harder to get up.

More time to sit on the couch and read books to the kids (and read myself!) -- because taking walks requires so much more effort, my hips can't take a long walk without complaint, and because I prefer to have TallDad tie my shoes whenever possible.

A new tiredness -- not as troublesome as in the first months -- a resigned kind of tiredness. Not unwelcome -- very peaceful.  Soon the baby will be on the outside, so why not go to sleep around 8:30 each night, cuddling with the kids? I need the sleep, and we all need the cuddling...

When the baby arrives, life will change. It will again be fast-paced, though we still won't seem to 'do much' to the outside world...but the first days of nourshing a newly born body and soul, outside of the safety and warmth of the womb, will consume us all...

For now, we all slow down, appreciate and love each other, and accept the blessings of the things I cannot control -- my body and heart's natural reactions to this time of life -- that are truly given by God.

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Oct. 3, 2009 - Saturday Evening Blog Post...

 

 

Hop on over to ElizabethEsther.Com for a new feature -- the Saturday Evening Blog Post! Elizabeth invites participants to post the post they've enjoyed writing on their blog from the past month. I'm excited to check out some other posts, too! And, in case you missed it the first time around, I thought this post:

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AllSaintsAcademy/728955/

was a good one from this past month. And what a quick month it was!

 

Happy October, everyone!

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Oct. 1, 2009 - 7 Quick Takes: This Week's Surprises...

Thanks, Jen! Check out more Quick Takes by visiting Conversion Diary!

What a whirlwind of a week we had! I had fully expected to post the "potty piano fiasco" story on MONDAY...here it is Friday, and I've hardly sat at the computer 'for fun', let alone thought about blogging. But, the house is verrrrry quiet (It's 9:30 pm Thursday as I type this) and I just had the urge to write down a few quick things about what we did this week...

1. I canned for the first time!

With a borrowed canner, new jars, and lots of produce, I canned tomatillo salsa, tomatillo jelly, jalapeno pepper jelly, and a few pints of tomatoes. I purchased 3 dozen jars, and have used about 2 dozen so far....and with the apples that are still sitting on my porch, I may need another dozen! We'll see...

I have another post I'd like to write about canning, but don't hold your breath! It will happen...sometime!

All in all, it's been fun, and I love to see those beautiful jars filled with yummy stuff.

2. We had an evening committment Monday through Thursday....

Just stuff we had to get done, and volunteering we had signed up for, and lots of random errands.  It made the week feel very full, and quite exhausting at times.

3. We are taking a week off from homeschooling....

...because I really didn't feel prepared or energized for this week. I knew the inaugural canning experience would just take up a lot of mental space....

4. We put all the fall clothes in the drawers, and sorted the spring/summer clothes, keeping some, and giving some away.

'Nuff said. Whew, and I'm glad that's done. It seems like it would be a simple job, but it does take some time...And then there's the random pair of shorts that shows up a few weeks later, and you have to reopen boxes. Thankfully, mine are well-labeled now -- after three boys, and one to come, I have learned ot be pretty organized with my storage items!

5. I had an amazingly fruitful mom's Bible study this week.

Wednesday was the feast of St. Jerome, who is the patron of Scripture scholars, and study. We talked about Lectio Divina, which is the practice of reading and praying over Scripture slowly and meditatively. I have done Lectio previously, but the study of it and discussion that followed really reawakened my desire to be more regular about it -- and about prayer in general! I felt so refreshed and rejuvenated! Thank God for that blessing!

6. I have been blessed to have good friends -- and have been blessed by one, in particular, several times this week!

A family we've gotten to know in the last year has become so dear to us! The mom of the family and I are friends, and her daughters frequent babysitters, and the husband of the family a hardworking wonderful person as well. This week, my mom friend popped over unexpectedly to offer to watch the kids so I could do whatever! -- I got our groceries and several other errands done. Today, she brought over lunch, and we had another nice visit -- complete with coffee and coffee cake at the end. She is a blessing to me -- and I'm thankful to have her for a friend!

7. My kids may be famous!

I have a friend in town who works for a local talent agency, and at the beginning of spring last year, she put a call out to anyone who would be interested in work to contact her -- I offered her my children! ha ha! She and I had the chance to catch up at our class reunion this summer, and she said that work for kids had been slow lately, but she'd definitely keep my darling boys in mind! Well, I got a facebook message from her this morning, and there is the possibility of a photo shoot next Wednesday! So -- we'll see what becomes of that. I asked Espen what he thought last night, and explained that he'd get to dress up in some 'old-fashioned' (it's a 50s 60s shoot, apparently) clothes, and make fun faces and poses -- and he said with a dreamy look in his eye and a calm excited voice, "Mom, I would absolutely LOVE to do that!" I'll update if this comes to pass...

8. Okay, I know its supposed to be just 7, but another big part of our week was putting the finishing touches on our homeschool newsletter. TallDad and I agreed to do the designing, fact-gathering, and publishing -- and I think it went well! We have a good base to build on -- the previous editor had the 'job' for 7 years, and really did amazing things to keep our group connected! So, we have big shoes to fill -- but are happy to take it on. Our group means a lot to us!

God bless you weekend! Remember -- it is Respect Life Sunday this coming Sunday. Please pray for all parents facing a challenging pregnancy -- whether unexpected, or with illness, or with complications for the baby -- anything that would make them question whether or not to let their baby live. Pray that the evil of abortion is wiped out of our country once and for all!!

If you haven't heard of the 40 Days for Life campaign, check out this link -- and get involved where you live!

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Sep. 25, 2009 - 7 Quick Takes: Photos from this week...

Thanks, Jennifer, of Conversion Diary, for once again hosting the most fun, easy carnival on the web. Visit ConversionDiary.Com for other quick takes from other interesting bloggers!

This week, I decided to use mostly pictures to describe the mutlitude of random things the last week or so has encompassed. Enjoy!

1. Food.....Okay, can you tell I'm hitting month 7 of pregnancy? Its the one for me that makes everything  about food, and yet at the rate my tummy is now expanding, I can't eat very large meals. That doesn't mean I'm not still cooking large meals...such as:

Roast Chicken with garden fresh parsely and sage, carrots, potatoes, and onions, in a french onion gravy.

 

2. Okay, I need to devote another one to food, just this last one, I promise -- I wrote about this meal in another post: Yummy Indian dish, spinach with paneer, flatbread, and a veggie rice mixture with a yogurt sauce:  kind of a variation on a recipe that I just use over and over again -- and every time we eat it, TallDad and I say we could eat this every night. Maybe we will someday! For now, the kids aren't too into it, and we do want them to live to adulthood, so we have to vary the meals a bit...

3. I lied. One more foodie.

 A proper Brit, sitting with legs crossed, knickers atwist. Or maybe, a proper pirate, with one leg shorter than the other. Either way, more amusing than most carrots, and you just don't see carrots like this in the stores. Mores the pity.

We named him Lil Carrot Pants.Then we ate him.

4. Baz, with funny expression. Candid shot by Espen.

5. Also Baz, with expression PAINTED ON, courtesy Espen, with SCRAPBOOKING MARKER. They have this "thing" about coloring on their faces, lately.

6. Jo-Jo, mid-laugh. Love it.

7. Things I found in my upright spinet piano when I almost completely took it apart Thursday morning after Jo-Jo peed on the keyboard. Complete story, and more photos to follow Monday or Tuesday. For now, just pray for our potty training efforts. Also, I'm taking it as a sign that I found not one, but TWO, Divine Mercy cards INSIDE my piano, that I should be praying this prayer daily. I also found a quarter and a paperclip. I'm not seeing signs in those.

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Sep. 22, 2009 - Lists for Gifts, Parties, and Avoiding Debt...

Ah, what a weird title...but seriously, a combination of these things have been knocking around in my head for awhile, and I wanted to get some of it 'on paper'...

 

 

I went to a baby shower for my cousin last Saturday, and a good time was had by all. Of all showers, I think baby showers are my favorite. And, you'll know from a previous post that I have definite opinions about how little it really can take to make baby, mom, and dad comfortable.

So why did I buy a bunch of stuff NOT on that list and wrap it up in a pretty bag to present to my cousin?

Ok, Ok -- it wasn't ALL junk. But some of it wasn't as much useful or helpful. It will probably be, at least a few of the items, what gets donated to the thrift store when baby #2 (God-willing) comes along. Such as, nursery decor (definitely don't NEED that), and a hand-mold-kit (Ok, they are cute, but if you do one for one kid, you feel bad if you don't do it for all your kids. Case in point, none of my kids have this. #4 will not have one either. Unless someone gives me a kit....maybe...)

Now, a saving grace for me is that this is my cousin's first baby. She is blissfully ignorant of many things (and I don't say this to slight her -- but that's just how it is with the first baby! Was for me, too!), and doesn't really know what she'll need. So, it was all received cheerfully with giggles, as we sipped coffee and ate cookies and oohed and aahed over all the cute little pink things (she's having a girl).

But, what will I do differently next time?

I'd really like to develop more of a personal handmade gift for showers -- like a default baby-shower-gift plan. Besides the fact that money is tight, and the pressure to give a gift (when you can't afford it) really rankles me -- personal gifts, and homemade gifts, are generally appreciated, maybe more so. There is thought that went into them -- more so than picking up a hunk of plastic made in China that plays "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy" until a parent wants to throw it out a window!

Some thoughts on homemade gifts I may, in the future, attempt:

- a decorated book of blank pages that parents can put photos in -- sized for a small purse. Or, a book where they can put pictures of relatives and friends, that is baby friendly. Or, alternately, a gift certificate for photo developing, so they don't have to put it off because of lack of funds -- which can happen when you get the hospital bill. Whew!

- index cards printed with quotes, advice (both from well-known parenting people, etc, and myself) and prayers to be kept by a nursing mom's chair, for a little pick me up, and maybe some special treats to munch on -- homemade biscotti is my speciality!

- homemade good-smelling bath salts, for a new mom

- homemade baby wipes of flannel or terry cloth

- meals, easy and uncomplicated, that a dad or friend or older child could assemble while mom naps, or a coupon for a Meal In of their choice, make it like a neat menu, and they can check off what they'd like, and I'll deliver!

Okay, now onto the next subject. Parties. Home parties. Home selling parties. We all on the same page?

I used to think they were fun. Sometimes they are. Occasionally I'm interested in the product being sold, or even NEED something. But lately, I've seriously been invited to one home party each week -- one week there were two in the same week. Pampered Chef. Dove Chocolate. Norwex. Tupperware. Lia Sophia. Tastefully SImple. Southern Home Living Decor. Oh my goodness gracious! I must know the right combination of people and be such a glittering super popular lady to garner all these invitations, but honestly, it's overwhelming.

I know people say, "Just go, have fun, don't feel like you have to buy anything." But dude, I just don't 'buy' it -- literally. The point of the party is to buy things. And, though some could just shrug off the sales pitch, and find something useful to do and ignore the consultant who stares you down until you go over with your slip to the corner where she's calculating shipping and handling -- I feel like if you show up, you should buy something. I just do.

I must admit, though I'm a sucker for Tupperware, I really don't need much of anything from any other place, at the moment. I'm just too dang frugal these days to buy unneeded items. There's also the part of me that feels like if I go to one, and buy something, I should equally support other friends who are hosting parties (which in my opinion is quite a lot of work), and wanting to purchase little things themselves. I want to be fair.

 Hence, I'm just not going to any.

The last little thread is, avoiding debt. Blah blah blah the economy, recession/depression, etc etc. You know the story. We're all living it here, people.

I was at a newly discovered blog, Crunchy Chicken, and have totally embraced a challenge from the blog hostess -- to buy all our Christmas gifts either - handmade from someone else, handmade by me, used/thrift store/Craigslist/freecycle finds ( I would also include donations to charitable organizations -- many times I'm stuck for a gift for someone I perceive "has everything". So, someone else, like a pro-life non-profit organization, can benefit, in their honor. Sweet!) . I'm signing up, and I would encourage others to think about it, too. I do like to give gifts, and yet I know that to be a good steward of what God has entrusted to our family, buying expensive gifts on credit doesn't 'fit the bill'. But, I'm totally psyched for the challenge, and thrilled to set this example for our kids. If we're shopping at consignment and thrift stores, and making presents, they can be more involved, too. Versus shopping at Target, where they really don't have much of a budget, and it's a frusterating exercise for all of us.

I had, last night, a very successful shopping trip to an area consignment store, looking for some birthday gifts for 4 cousins, which further encouraged my resolve to DO THIS. I got each child a book (just happened to be buy one, get one free! yes!), got a pair of PJ's for Jo-Jo (he was sleeping naked most of the time, which he likes, but, enough is enough. He's only 2, and fall weather is likely to rear its crisp head any day now), and even found a gift that I have cleverly hidden from aforementioned son (a Sesame Street guitar with his favorite characters - though he's never seen the show, just played - ahem - "educational games" on the website with me -- oh, and did I mention it lights up, and is noisy? I know he'll love it, though I may live to regret the purchase)

-- I spent a grand total of - TA DA - 7.25.

I know. Awesome, huh?

What gifts do you give to others, especially kids/newborns? Do you believe (as I tend to) that it is the thought that counts most, not how much you spend? Do you ever hand-make wrapping paper or cards? How does God enter into your gift-giving? Share some ideas. I could write another post, and I believe I will, soon, about the pressures of kids' birthday parties -- aurgh -- but this post is already ranty enough.

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Sep. 21, 2009 - Awesome Mom Moments

There are some days, some hours, or even some minutes that can make a mom feel AWESOME. I had one the other day -- just a moment, but I felt like, "Yeah, that's right. Whose tha' mama? Yeah, me, that's who!"

After a trip to the local Fall Festival at a nearby park, the boys came home with a sackful of candy as prizes from the carnival games. A few chews later, and Espen had gum in his hair. (He said Baz put it there, but when Baz just looked blankly at him, I knew better. Baz would definitely be the kind to take credit for such a great trick.)

 

 

Espen was about to participate in that great Kindergarten rite of passage -- cutting his own hair. I caught him standing on the toilet in front of the bathroom mirror, about to snip his life -- er, his hair -- away.

I calmly took the scissors from him, and walked him to the kitchen. "Mah-ahhhhhhm....I have Guuuuum in my Haaaaaaaaair!" He moaned. "I'll probably go bald now. Oh great!" And he carried on, while I got out a butter knife, and the peanut butter jar.

His eyes widened. "WHAT are you going to DO with THAT?" He asked, shocked.

I didn't say anything, but put a little dollop on the end of the knife, and generously coated the entangled strands. About 20 seconds of working with my fingers, and copious continued moans from Espen, and the gum was free!

 

 

TallDad entered the room, and looked confused. "Peanut butter? To get out gum?" He looked at Espen's gum-liberated hair. "How did you know what to do?"

I tried not to get puffed up on my own peanutty-tricksy-ness. But I did...I felt proud. I've never done the peanut butter trick before. I didn't really know if it would work. But I went for it. I'm a mom -- that's my job.

Of course, not every day goes like that -- you know the days -- when you don't really believe in corporal punishment, but you give your child a swat on the behind anyway....when you know that yelling really doesn't solve anything, but you haul off and give a vehement sermon in "that monster voice" anyway....when you have a lot to get done, but sit down on the couch and stare blankly for awhile....

But -- those days fade quickly into the background when you have an awesome mom moment. For now, though my fingers smelled slightly of peanut butter, all was right with the world. And I was on top of it.

Or was I?

 

I know the peanut butter example is quite simple, and un-ostentatious, but I think that the simplest or grandest awesome mom momenta come when we choose to involve God. In this case, it was God calmly guiding my memory back to hearing, once or twice, that peanut butter can get gum out of hair, somehow. Though I opened the jar, really without praying (does anyone commonly pray over the opening of a jar? A jar of peanut butter? You are a better mom than I....), yet I think that God, the Holy Spirit, and Christ are with us in any moment. The Lord doesn't just wait around for grand occasions. He desires to be with us through it all. Even the times of peanut butter.

A priest friend recently led a short retreat for the Teams of Our Lady group in which TallDad and I participate. He said that most Westerners say, in prayer, "God, help me with this...Get me through this..." etcetera. We would do better to pray in this way, "God, DO THIS for me. God, take charge of this, and I'll just be your instrument."

That was a real "Ah-HA!" moment for me.

In the first way, we are saying we don't really need God. We're saying, "God, I pretty much got this covered, but if you could just give MY efforts, which I entirely control, a little boost, I bet I could complete this task." We can take care of things all right just on our own, thank you very much, Lord. EXTRA help is all we need.

However, in the second way, we acknowledge the reality of the situation. Which is "We don't do nuthin' without the Big Guy's say-so and blessin'." Amen. When we pray humbly in this second way, We get ourselves OUT of the WAY, God works (many times through us), but it's always God that does it.  Always.

Aw yeah.

 

What is an awesome mom moment you have had lately -- what has God blessed you with? Please share, for the encouragement of others, and those that are having 'not-so-awesome-mom" days -- give us hope that there will always be more awesome moments to come.

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Sep. 16, 2009 - Feeling Saucy...

Our trip to the local orchard was oh-so-fun -- but I admit to feeling juuuuust a little overwhelmed by the three reusable shopping bags, each at least half-full (or fuller) with very ripe apples that now had to be 'dealt with' in a somewhat timely manner. The good news is, zipping them (that is, peeling, coring and slicing, with a nifty Pampered Chef tool that is my mom's) only took about 1 hour, 45 minutes, with relatively few I had to do by hand. So, I started looking through some recipes and ideas, and the first one I tried was applesauce.

YESSSS! So much of a hit that I don't have any left of which to take a picture! It was so good it was eaten quickly, and none of it made it into the freezer for later. Maybe when I make the next batch -- most likely tomorrow morning...

I also made apple chutney. What is a chutney, really? I'm still not exactly sure, but I would say its generally an  Indian, 'side-dish' or condiment, often left a bit chunky with bits of whatever it is composed of visible. I made my own a bit more smooth, as I just like the appearance better. We tried some fresh stuff last night, and it was deeeee-licious! My chutney was apples, raisins, cardamom, cumin, ginger, salt, coriander, and a little splash of lemon juice.

Other sauces of note include a fresh garden salsa. I can't wait to use this for a tex-mex inspired meal later this week. This is the use-it-fresh kind, not suitable for canning or freezing, but I anticipate making some freezer stuff in a few weeks. Included were three fresh tomatoes, a jalapeno, 3/4 of a medium onion, a splash of vinegar, a shake of salt, and some cilantro. I was out of lemon juice, and as I tasted the salsa for the first time this afternoon, I could miss it. I will add a dab of that when I serve it with our meal this week.

Basil pesto also is a popular treat at our house -- whether over fish, pasta, chicken, or mixed with Mayo for sandwiches. I also like to toss veggies with it and saute them. I've made a LOT of pesto this year, that I can share with my friend who has generously lent me her Cuisinart food processor for going on 6 weeks now! ;-) Here's a picture of the pesto I have frozen in ice cube trays. Just writing about mixing it with mayo made me hungry for a sandwich I already plan to enjoy tomorrow. These cubes aren't thawed yet....

Basil's also great because its a very forgiving recipe. 2 or so cups of basil, about 2/4 cup or so of olive oil, then maybe a sprig or two of parsley, and then perhaps a dash of salt and garlic. I usually use some sort of nut as well -- pine nuts are traditional, but gosh are they expensive! I've also used soynuts, and almonds. I've heard walnuts work well, too. Sometimes I toast the nuts, sometimes I don't. And you know what, I love it every time! I don't add parmesan, or minced garlic, as this goes in the freezer -- so I add it to dishes that need it, later. (I've also made a cilantro pesto, that has cumin, cilantro, and olive oil -- VERY good!)

 

 

Finally, though it is not a sauce, I'm trying my hand at a little tiny batch of sauerkraut. I've previously written about sauerkraut, so you know my love of this stinky cabbage stuff. But, I've never made my own. And why not? Sauerkraut seems ti be BY FAR the most EASY THING EVER! I guess I'll be able to declare that even more accurately when I've tasted the results....but, here's a recipe:

Shred cabbage.

Add salt.

Fill a jar. Smash down.

Fill remaining space with boiling water. Seal tightly with lid and screw cap.

Let stand for weeks, undisturbed in a corner or your kitchen. Wipe off any ooze that busts out.

 

 

 

Okay, let me just say that, in my house, as type A as I CAN be at times, many, many things sit undisturbed in dark corners all OVER my house for weeks at a time. I don't know why I haven't thought of capitalizing on this before and making something productive out of it al! But, not everything is farm fresh cabbage.

 

Some of it are little boy socks. But that, my friends, is a post for another time.

Happy harvest!

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Sep. 14, 2009 - In Which Laura Gets the Gimmies...

I'll chalk it up to the good ol' nesting instinct --

but,

I know it's probably just silly old materialism rearing its ugly ol' head around my heart --

Lately, I've been dreaming about a new house....

 

or more projects for this one.

Ugh.

When I get on a thought-jag like this, I have to admit, it is very hard for me to kick. I'm not sure what exactly brings it on, because I truly love our home, our little yard, and feel it IS just right for us right now. I wonder, actually, if being a little overwhelmed or stressed brings these thoughts to circulate inside my brain -- I don't really want to focus on what I actually HAVE to do, so I dream about what, for now, simply cannot be....

Besides the fact that this house is what we need right now, it's definitely what we can afford. I really can't imagine, on the financial side, moving right now. It would be financially irresponsible. But -- in my daydreams about, alternately, a bigger city home, or a bigger (both land and house) country home -- reality is far from the imagining....

Ever read that Berenstain Bears story, where the kids 'get the gimmies'? They just want stuff, stuff, stuff! But, I believe they learn in the end, that stuff isn't what makes you happy.

I DEFINITELY know this to be true in my own life. In fact, probably one stressor that comes up over and over again in my life is the preoccuption with having too MUCH stuff -- because every additional thing one owns, one has to take care of: clean it, maintain it, store it, organize it, sort it..... Having 'stuff' that I know we really don't need, that also comes with caretaking duties, does stress me out. I just finished a minor resort of basement storage stuff, and it makes me breathe easier to again get rid of several boxes of clothes, household items, and some books and magazines that have not been needed in the past year, and therefore, probably will never be needed! I like to pass things on to the next person as soon as possible, if the items are no longer needed by us....

So, what gives? What could have me so overwhelmed, bored, or otherwise mentally unstimulated to be just spending what seems to me to be too often daydreaming about new houses?

Life is busy for our family right now. Parish life, for my husband, a parish worker, is especially busy. He's also in an online degree program in web programming. Both of these things I wholeheartedly support -- but they also make our family life, which includes keeping up the house, doing the laundry, etc, a little less organized -- in addition to both of us feeling overworked and more tired, and less able, at times, to be present to each other or the kids...

I don't want to sound so gloom and doom -- it really is not that way. We're getting through it, usually with cheerfulness and peace -- day by day -- but there are moment, probably like it has been lately for me, when it just all gets to be too much. Add to all of that a busy weekend of socializing with family and friends, and I feel like I need a second weekend to recover from my weekend! Even fun things can tire a pregnant mama out.

I'm endeavoring to continue to take it one day at a time, and trying to keep myself centered on Christ, and God's will for my life, and for the life of our family. I have felt the greatest sense of peace when reading the current spiritual book I"m working on (and have been for quite some time!), "Introduction to the Devout Life". I'm also working on praying the rosary more frequently -- this usually amounts to a decade here or there. I'll also be going to Reconciliation sometime this week -- most likely Thursday -- and I know that receiving that sacrament, as well as the Eucharist, will continue to strengthen me.

So, God is good, even when I get the gimmies!

Peace, all.

 

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Sep. 9, 2009 - An Awe-suuuuummmm Day...

Today is Wednesday, which is, even on a week with "No Monday", our day off from schooling.

That is not to say we haven't learned a lot already!

Another homeschool mom posted on our message board about a county-owned orchard, with apples for the picking. Oh, and for free! Even better! That was enough for us to load up in the van with a couple of reusable shopping bags, just to see...

I wish I would have had my camera along -- it was a beautiful place, but the kids were beautiful in it. They sometimes walked side by side, carrying their bags, munching apples, sometimes finding a sitck to swing or walk with. We went in the earlier morning hours, when everything was still wet and dewy -- and it was so picturesque.

We also got a ton of apples! Some we sampled were a bit sweeter, but most were quite tart. We like the tartness around here, so they should suit us well in a few experiments -- maybe some apple sauce, and apple pie filling? I was looking up recipes right when we got home. Yum. That'll be fun.

This afternoon we're meeting some friends to play at a park near our house. The weather is absolutely gorgeous, and we want to enjoy it as long as it lasts. To me, the weather feels mid-Augusty today -- not like Sept 9th! We are very much enjoying this.

I'm not going to get to it before our guests arrive for park time, but I do have some pictures of my backyard sunflowers to post. They are looking nice. I'm going to make bird seed from them, when they have dried. We've also been saving marigold seeds, and are planning a little art project of making seed packets that we can give away. I thought that might be kind of a cool "Thanks for witnessing our baby's baptism" kind of gift -- the baptism will likely be in February, and it is JUST that time of year when you really need to have hope that spring will come again. So, we'll try to "say it with flowers" -- or, at least, the promise of flowers...

I wanted to take just a minute, too, to thank Cristina and Suzie  for generously giving me various awards -- that sure made my day. The "Queen of All Things Awesummmm!" was awarded from Suzie, and the award from Cristina was fairly similar, so I thought I'd respond at the same time (my blogging time has been very limited lately...though with all the great weather to enjoy, and things to do, I can hardly complain!)

 

Here's what this award's acceptance entails...

1. List seven things that make you awe-summm!
2. Pass the award onto seven bloggers you read religiously.
3. Tag those seven bloggers.

So, without further ado, My list of seven things that make ME awe-summm:
1. I want my life to be centered on Christ. And, though I fall short most every day, keeping that center truly makes LIFE more awesummm! ;-)

2. I love to learn about healthy eating and living, and I like to think I was "green" before it was cool to "be green". My motivation for trying to live this way is to be a good steward of what God has entrusted to us.

3. I have a good sense of humor, and like to have fun.

4. While I am a major PLANNER,too,  I also like to think I leave a little room in my soul for spontanaeity! Like this morning, going apple picking on the spur of the moment.

5.  I love my husband, kids, family, and friends -- in that order, and do my best to keep my priorities straight.

6. I love to cook, bake, and experiment with new recipes. Look tomorrow for a picture of a really amazing Indian meal I made last night -- and it was made in such a way that I didn't die of heartburn, either! Now that IS masterful....haha..

7. I like to share my faith with others, be it in face-to-face or on facebook, and try to do so in a gentle way that makes faith and the belief in God appealing enough to want to know more.

 

The last requirement of the award -- is to keep the giving going -- and give the award to 7 other bloggers who I read "Religiously". I take that to mean not reading while praying on my knees, but, of course, read regularly. hee hee...

I do read a few "popular" blogs, but most of what I read are more the "small circle of friends" variety, and I'd like to especially see those folks receive this award, so I'm going to defer to my ability to make things up as I go along, which is part and parcel of being an English major, and just name three. It's because I'm so awesummm, you see, that I can choose to do this.

1. Forty Acres, A Husband, and 3 Kids

2. A Star of Hope

3. Where in the WORLD are We?

Those are my top three! But, I also want to just share a couple of other blogs I follow that I think are totally great:

Conversion Diary

Little House in the Suburbs

Sorta Crunchy

 

Enjoy some new reads. What new blogs have your discovered lately, and what keeps you coming back to read them?

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Aug. 31, 2009 - The only thing I can predict is that life is unpredictable...

Ok, the title sounds so serious -- really, this post will be light-hearted...but, let me tell you, it has been a rather rough day in the trenches....and it's only 3:37 pm! In fact, I should probably be interacting with my children, but I just need a break, so I'm going to risk a little insanity while I melt away into the parallel world that this blog sometimes is for me...

Last week, I had cooperative, excited kids. This led to an excited, energetic mom.

Today has seen the total replacement of cooperative with behavior that can only be described as "monster-like". Well, not completely...but, I would say, percentage-wise, it's been 35 percent good behavior, 80 percent bad. (And yes, I do know that adds up to more than 100 percent. That's just how I roll....)

However, as I try to do, I have discovered little gems even in this day -- when my 2 year old has not napped (and thus, neither have I) -- my 5 year old has called me "a mean jerk" -- and my 3 year old has whined about a snack for 45 minutes, after eating 2 bites of lunch. Auuuuurgh!

But, the 2 year old is still happy, relaxed, and relatively un-whiny, despite no nap. In fact, even though he just used our new school markers to color all over himself (he is naked right now, did I mention that? Did I also mention I'm not sure how or when that happened?), and peed on the floor as he giggled up at me -- I can handle happy-crazy-toddler. Whiny-tired-irritated-toddler might be pressing it right now.

I got a "tea time" snack ready for us just a few moments ago, to the happiness of all involved. I assigned 5 year old to clean up a toy set, our Mass Kit, before snack. He couldn't find all the little squishy foam hosts, and was about to pitch a fit. "I think they're inside the coin pig," I offered. They were. "Wow, mom, you really DO know where everything in our house is!" said the jubilant Espen. "Not so bad for a mean jerk, am I?" I said, playfully. Really, it was playful. But, I did want to make a point. And he totally got it. He said immediately, "Mom, I'm really sorry for calling you that. I was mad. But that is a really mean thing to say." I hugged him, and thanked him for his apology.

Okay, and how about the 3 year old? Where are his little gems? Throughout the day, we have read several stories. He did fantastically well and was very enthusiastic about his morning lessons. He retained, by sight, several new letters we'd been working on last week. He has helped clean up, and has done alright playing with his little brother. He's probably the gemmiest gem of the day -- and I love him. I had written last time of his crankiness. Yep, it's still present, especially around 3 pm (perhaps this is a hint from the Lord we need to be saying the Divine Mercy chaplet as a family?????) But, we're working through it. God is helping me to be patient. Thanks for your prayers, too!

Back to the grind --

Thanks for reading our little slice of life. God bless!

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Aug. 28, 2009 - A good first week...

This past week we concentrated on getting back in the swing of things. I had recently had time (finally!) to sit down, and just type out the schedule I hoped to follow. I had made an earlier draft, then had time (about a month!) to think about it, then I started plugging things into a calendar. This week -- we followed our schedule! There are some things we haven't added yet, but all in all, I feel very confident, empowered, happy, and have a sense of "yes, we CAN do this!". I'm also tired out! Whew!

Baz was sick on Monday, and for the past week has been very, very whiny. I don't know exactly why, but my mom's intuition says he's about to take a learning leap -- or his brain has already taken it, but his mouth and vocabulary can't keep up! I've watched him struggle this week to put his thoughts together, and then whine and cry when he can't be as concise as either we or he would like to be. I'm praying for patience, and would ask you to do the same on my behalf!

Espen has been asking for "more schoolwork" several times this week, and has been ready to be a bit more independent for some time now, so I'm only too happy to oblige.

Jo-Jo could use more interactive time with the brother that is not doing a short lesson -- but both know how to deftly work out tv/vcr/dvd equipment, and they've been sneaking in more tv time than I usually like. This is something we'll continue to work on.

We're also implementing an idea I saw in this month's "Family Fun" magazine. Festisite.com has a feature where one can print out money, with a personalized picture in the middle! So, move over George -- here come Jo-Jo, Baz, and Espen "bucks". I tackled a major toy reorganization project on Wednesday, which is our "day off" during the week from lessons, and a chance for an outing, a treat, or for mom to do a project. I chose project this Wednesday.

All our toys, and even our books, are in a shelved area of our basement -- labeled in boxes and bins. Yes, the Type A side of me had a field day with this one! Woo. Hoo. I'll have to put a picture in next week. I was just sick of the constant distraction of toys (of which we have consciously chosen not to have an exorbitant amount, but nevertheless....), and the constant picking up for me, or nagging the kids to pick up, and also the questions, "Where is this toy? Where is that toy?" and really having no idea where to look first!

Our current idea, to be modified as we try it out for a few weeks: The kids earn "bucks" by a) completing their lessons b) interacting/playing with Jo-Jo while the other does their lesson c) doing their chores without being asked, or volunteering for a chore. They won't ALWAYS get "bucks" for chores, but sometimes they might. Then, they can "buy" a toy bin from our shelved area (which is surrounded by the inpenetrable fortress of a baby gate), and play with it. They can pool their bucks for multiple bins, or also use the bucks for computer time that is not related to their lessons, special reading or game time with Mom or Dad, and perhaps in the future, little toy or candy treats -- we'll see. The remaining little project is to put up our small (about 9 X 13 size) bulletin board so that the bucks and goals are more visible to them.

This week I also tackled making a list of every conceivable known extracurricular that I culled from several sources -- the YMCA in our area is now making a conscious effort of welcome homeschoolers, which I think is pretty neat. Though we probably won't participate in the actual homeschool programs due to timing (they happen to occur during major nap/quiet time zone for us at this point) it got me looking at several other programs. The goal, with all of it, is for TallDad and I to think about what we need or want the kids to do, what can wait -- and balance it all with our sanity and financial outlook. So, I included lots of free stuff, too!

We'll be going to storytime weekly, and there are also some free art classes that will provide some special outings. There are also some nice community festivals and programs that we like -- a nice fall festival is coming up, and we have attended the Celtic Festival in the spring every year since it began. The last two years without the kids, because its amazingly crowded, and they just wouldn't have really "got into it". But this spring, I think we'll plan to take the 2 older ones, at least.

So, my head is brimming with new thoughts, ideas, and my heart is thankful for a good week. I know not all weeks will be this "fun" and I won't always feel so energized. I'm thinking month 8 of pregnancy will see me a little different -- haha -- but I'm thankful for today...

In between all of this, I've been working on an article for a local family magazine, regarding the flu shot, and its effectiveness. This has been challenging for me to have a good balance. I'm not a PRO vaccine person...but I also respect others' choices in this area. So, it has been interesting, to say the least, to write. I will be happy when its sent off to my editor and I can move on with my writing life in that area. Have you noticed blog posts have been sparse lately? That is another reason why...

 

Well, have a great weekend! Oh, and posts might STILL be sparse, for a while, indefinitely?, as we get underway with our homeschool...but I do enjoy reading others' posts, and really relish the potential in blogging to let off steam, write something interesting, and just have a little corner of the web all to myself. SO, don't forget about me! ;-)

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Aug. 21, 2009 - Reunited And It Feels So......well, sorta weird....

I thought I'd better check in, lest you think I was spirited away by a long-forgotten high school sweetheart and begun a new life in Paris, never to be heard from again on this blog.... 

 

 

Not so.

My high school reunion was a positive experience, but very odd all the same. I thought I'd use up a few words today to share what it was like, and some of my thoughts, now that it is over ... In case you're at all interested, or for some crazy, martyr-like, bizarre reason signed YOURSELF up to be on your high school reunion committee, here was the flow of our weekend:

Friday night: Social at a popular local bar

Saturday morning: Tour of the school, family-friendly picnic (morning and afternoon, respectively) and evening dinner, program and dance

Sunday: Be really tired all day (I could see that coming, even though it was not on the formal agenda, per se...)

Over the course of the few days prior to the reunion, as I put finishing touches on the items I was responsible for, I started looking at the guest list and realizing some friends were missing. One of those friends (who might be a new reader of this blog - yippeee!) I DID convince to go, and be my buddy Friday night, as I planned to go sans TallDad.

Friday, for me, was the most 'nerve-wracking' event. It was the first. It was probably the standard by which the rest of the weekend would be judged. It could make or break us, as a planning committee. Thank goodness it really went great!

We had a terrific turnout, and saw many classmates gather to kick-off the weekend of reunion activities. I would guesstimate there were over 100 -- possibly close to 150  classmates that came. That amount was more than tickets we had sold for the Saturday evening event!

I would call the event definitely "positive", because it was fun, people were relaxed and in a good mood, and the noise and music worked wonders in masking any uncomfortable feelings.

 It was also totally surreal (kind of like this picture...)...

 

 

I was looking, at one point, across the bar, where there was another slew of classmates gathered, and thinking, "Who are all these people?" and thinking they were probably wondering the same about me.

My class was not small. It was 457, according to our committee records. Of those, I felt I knew many in high school, and floated around -- not confining myself (or so I thought) to one particular clique. But I had to rethink those thoughts after feeling like the amount of names and faces I could match up with comfort was relatively few...

Saturday morning had classmates gathered for a school tour -- the school was being renovated during our last year, and so it looks incredibly different now. That had a showing of about 20 or so. The picnic, hosted at a very family-friendly local park, drew about 30 - 35 from 11 am - 3 pm -- definitely not as many as we planned for (and the huge rainstorm that occurred right in the middle of it might have deterred a few...), but it turned out to be a nice time to visit with a select few, and to get to know some other families. My husband was pleased to meet another dad of a classmate of mine who was an 'active dad' like himself, and very family-oriented. He also was an accountant, and they had a lot to talk about. I planned, organized, and carried out the picnic. Committee members helped with input, and with some clean-up at the end, but it was pretty much all me. That meant, it was pretty much all TallDad, too, by default. And, of course, we wanted to show off our darling children, and this was the one reunion event at which we could do so.

The Saturday evening event came quickly. I got home at 3, and was due at the hotel at 4:30. I had time for a cup of coffee, and a leftover hotdog, and then had to get ready. Then, I realized I forgot to print a few things out. Then I had a wardrobe malfunction and had to change. Then.....well, suffice it to say: By the time I was ready to go, it was after 4:30, and I was running late to meet the classmate who had agreed to be the MC. Ugh.

But, I did eventually get there, meet up with the MC, got a few things set-up and accounted for, and pitched in to help the event hosts. While I was in charge of the program, 10-Year Achievement and Goofy awards (these are two separate things, of course. haha...), and dj arrangements, the three classmates in charge of the venue did everything else -- decorating, catering arrangements, etc -- so I actually got to relax a little bit.

The program went well. The MC added his own flair to the script I wrote (as I was hoping he'd do), and I thought it came off nicely. The program also included a slideshow of events that have occurred in the last 10 years, and a "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" gameshow at the end (which was also a powerpoint slideshow), which featured trivia from our graduation year, as well as general trivia from the last 10 years, mostly of a pop culture variety. I got to present an award to 4 classmates -- we called it the 10 Year Achievement Award -- and, for me, that was the highlight of the program.

The award was meaningful because it recognized not people who were successful in making a lot of money, necessarily. It didn't have a qualifier of "you need to have a PhD" in something. It focused on a classmate that has done something good -- and 4 out of the 4 were people that were invested in community-oriented actions that helped create awareness of: the lack of dental care for those in poverty in the US or abroad, or the arts, or the struggles of refugees, or the struggles of a soldier. I hope my classmates were as inspired by the award winners as I was...

Though the program all went well from a 'technology' standpoint, and no one majorly messed up lines or cues, as limited as they were, I felt like a few things hampered its success. One was an exceptionally loud wedding party next door. Buzzers and beeps and musical weird things would sound through the padded wall at inconvenient times. I also wondered if the other classmates were really buying in to the program and truly getting involved. It might have been that everyone still felt awkward, and they just didn't quite get into it as much. Who knows. 

After the program and class photo, I hung around for awhile, talking with a few of the same people I talked to on Friday. Then, I looked at the clock, and just had to go. I felt like I would fall asleep on my feet. I said goodbye, and walked out alone (TallDad, bless his heart, was SUCH a dear to help with all the tech stuff, visit with my classmates, and generally have a fun time, until a killer headache totally knocked him out. He left about an hour or so earlier than me - thankfully, we had taken separate cars).

I knew even if I went home right away, I wouldn't be able to sleep -- though I was really tired. I just wanted to think about everything that had happened in the last 30 hours or so...I went to an all-night drive-thru coffee place and got a steamer and a biscotti, and sat in my car and thought...

I will say again, "Everything was positive..." but I was left with a feeling of......I guess, being unsatisfied. I think, truly, I went into it having "something to prove" -- which is strange, as I always thought of myself as very confident, not caring "what everyone else thinks", and knowing that I was fulfilling God's plan for me, one day at a time -- a plan that, certainly, had changed from what I envisioned in high school...Because, as I sat in my car thinking, my main thought was, "Why did I break my back trying to make that so special? Especially when pretty much no one would know that *I* really had anything to do with it?" (remember that...it becomes important later....)

My life is different that I thought it would be.....At age 28, married, a mom of 3 (plus 1), have finished up college and a nice short career in church work before becoming a full-time mom -- and a homeschooling mom at that. While its not totally out of line with what I thought could, possibly, m.a.y.b.e, perhaps DO with my life, part of me also thought "successful world-traveling novelist with a trophy husband and nanny" might also be a possibility....As it is, life...God....had other plans for me (well, I do have a trophy husband. He's hot....but, I digress...)

I keep crystallized a gem moment: the moment when my friend, the aforementioned 'buddy' I met and hung out with on Friday (and sat with again on Saturday night), wondered aloud, "You should really start a blog -- or do you have one ? I'd love to read more about your life as a mom..."

Now, that, in my true heart of hearts, was what I wanted someone to ask me (well, not as much about the blog, but about my life as a mom...). I felt congratulated, affirmed, and valued for the on-the-outside "small" contribution I was making to the world, amid classmates with 6 figure incomes, jobs that seemed really exciting, lawyers, researchers, and actors.

Here's where it all comes together. The hiddenness of my life is a blessing. It truly is. Just as the hiddenness of the behind-the-scenes stuff I helped with, to make the reunion special, is a blessing. It is God's plan, I feel, for me not to always be in the spotlight -- but to be the support behind others. I feel it is the same way with my job as a mom. It's really not about me, it's about them. Its only about me if they turn out badly!  This also gives me a way to really identify with Mary, Mother of Jesus -- she always pointed the way to her own Son -- not to herself. I find when I seek the spotlight, I'm always dissapointed -- and usually don't find myself in the spotlight anyway, even for all I might do to get there....

So, I guess I'm not done thinking about it all....but I have a good start on some more good thoughts for the purpose of affirmation, cogitation, and prayer.

 

 

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