Well, I guess it's been somewhat of a productive day.  Why is it that you can be working on cleaning stuff out and decluttering, and yet it doesn't really LOOK like you did much of anything? 

We are officially done with this school year.  I spent time over the weekend getting grades done and putting together a portfolio of each child's work for the year.  Aaaaaaaa... feels so good to have that done! 

Even though we are "officially done" with school, I still had my boys do a page of math this morning!    I sat down with them and explained that I love them too much to allow them to do nothing with their brains all summer, that it is to THEIR BENEFIT to continue to do math and reading through the summer.

Now, this isn't really new to them.  We normally finish our school year at the end of May and then take June off and start our new school year in July.  So, they are used to school year-round.  However, their next school year is going to be different than the past years.  I'm excited and nervous about it all at the same time. 

Our oldest child has been struggling through school for the past couple of years.  He is a very smart child; however, he just seems to learn differently and at a different pace than the "average" child... whatever THAT is.  My husband thought he just needed more encouragement and gentle pushing to keep up, but as much as I have tried, he still is "behind."  I try really hard to not pay attention to the public school standards, etc., of where my child "should" be, but it is sometimes difficult (and it does matter to my husband).

It is difficult to know if I have a child who just needs more time to grasp ideas or if I have a child who may have a learning glitch and needs additional help.  I've spent many a night staying up into the wee hours of the morning reading whatever book I can or whatever article online I could find on various learning styles, abilities, and disabilities.  From what I've read, it seems to me that my son is a visual-spatial learner and could possibly be dyslexic.  He is almost ten years old and still struggles greatly with spelling, oftentimes still reversing letters, and has struggled with math his entire school life, still oftentimes still reversing numbers.  He seems to read okay; however, his comprehension isn't always "great."  It's hard for me to tell sometimes if he is truly not understanding something, or if he just being (gasp) lazy. 

So, after two years of trying to wait it out, figure it out, trying everything I can think of to help him learn, I went to my husband this past March and spoke to him about how I was feeling about teaching this child.  I love my child deeply, and I do not want to look back on his school life when he is older and wish I had tried something differently or found more help for him.  I really need someone to come alongside me and help me teach him... someone who is trained as a teacher... someone who will support my homeschooling efforts, values, and goals. 

To make what could be a long story short, my husband and I were led to a nearby homeschool center.  It is actually set up in our state as a private Christian school.  We had the option of enrolling our children two or three days a week.  We opted to enroll them for two days a week.  Starting in the Fall, our children will go there for a full school day (8:30am-2:30pm) on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and they will be home with me for school the alternate days.

My husband felt strongly that this would be a good option for us.  I had mixed feelings and was, at first, emotionally torn over the decision.  Part of me felt like a failure... if I had just done better teaching him and he was "where he was supposed to be," then we wouldn't be doing this.  I felt guilty that this could possibly be a financial strain for us.  I felt sad at having my children away from me and taught by someone else... even though it would only be twice a week.  I continually prayed and asked God to give me peace about the decision or show us if it was the wrong one.

Another long story short, within a week of us enrolling our children, I found another homeschool Christian mom who was able to give me some part-time work to do from home.  What a blessing!  It would help pay for their monthly tuition! 

I continued to pray.

Today, I have much more peace about the decision, and I am actually looking forward to our next school year.  After meeting with the principal of the school, I was assured that they are there to support me, not to take over my job as parent and homeschooler.  At the end of this month, my children will take diagnostic tests to see where their skill level is.  They will go into a classroom with their same-aged peers, but they will be given curriculum based on their own individual skill level.  That's a blessing.  I have options within which curriculum I want each child to use.  That is a blessing.  They have a small teacher-to-student ratio in each classroom.  That's a blessing.  My children will have to learn to work under another authority (their teacher) besides their mom.  That's a blessing.  It will help me to be more accountable each school day.  That's a blessing.  It will hopefully be a place where they will make good friendships with other homeschooled children.  That's a blessing.  I will have two days "off" each week.  That is a blessing.  I can get errands done, clean my house, go grocery shopping, etc., etc., on those two days a week.  Those two days will give me time to recharge and refuel so that I'm (hopefully) not such a crabby mommy... that's a blessing.

More than all of this, I will have someone who will come alongside me and help me teach my son... someone who has more experience than me, who will work closely with my son and me to help him overcome whatever his difficulties.  It's a huge burden made a little bit smaller...

I know it will be different, and I know I am going to feel very strange that first day.. or even the first few weeks that I drop them off at school for the day.  But, I am leaning on the Lord for His direction and guidance.  Proverbs 3:5-6 tells me not to lean on my own understanding but to trust Him and He will direct my path.  That is what I'm doing.  I know that we are committing to this for the next school year, and then we will re-evaluate the following year.  Maybe one year of help is all that we need and then we can go back to doing what we are doing now.  Or maybe this will really be what fits our family best, and we will continue doing it through high school.  We won't know until we try... and since we feel the Lord is leading us down that road, then I must obey!

I will share more about my preparations for our upcoming school year as the time approaches, I'm sure.  For now, I'm working on cleaning out my many paper piles, notebooks of articles I no longer read or need, and trying to prayerfully come up with a summer routine/schedule that will help us to keep on learning and reviewing their math and reading and also have lots of productive time for play, projects, and family fun. 

I spent time last night and this morning posting items on MY EBAY - I'm cleaning out our closets and shelves, trying to declutter, declutter, declutter... be sure to take a look if you're interested.  :)

Anyway, I better get back to work.  I'll be sure to log on tonight and stop by all of my friends' blogs so I can catch up on all that is going on with you!

Blessings,

~LISA