Proverbs 12:4 says, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones." 

Another verse says, "... a shameful wife saps his strength."

I wasn't exactly sure what "crown of her husband" meant, but I did know that I did not want to be a wife who saps her husband's strength!

"...a shameful wife saps his strength." 

To bring shame is to dishonor or disgrace my husband.  This isn't done only by what we may say about our husband to others, but also what we say and how we say it to our husband.  Is our speech kind or disrespectful?  How do we treat our husbands?  With love and respect?  Or do we give a cold shoulder when we disagree with something? 

Even if I disagree with my husband on an issue, the Lord is continually teaching me that I still need to address my husband with kindness and respect.  When my husband feels he has disappointed me, it saps his strength.  He desires to be a good husband and father.  Am I encouraging to my husband?  Or am I critical of his ways?  One will sap his strength; one will build him up.

On the other hand, one of the definitions of "crown" is to bless or adorn.  An excellent wife blesses her husband.  We can bless our husband in many ways... being a good listener, serving him, loving him, showing affection, speaking kindly to and about him, etc. 

She "adorns" him - She brings beauty to him.  I don't think this necessarily means outwardly.  I see it more as him being more at peace with things because of the blessing his wife is.  Does that make sense?  It's an inward beauty that she brings to him by being a blessing in his life.

Another definition of "crown" that I particularly like is to complete successfully.  So, an excellent wife successfully completes her husband!  That's a neat picture.  It is God who makes a husband and wife "one flesh."  When we as wives bless our husbands as God has called us to, then we are successfully completing him as God intended. 

So,  how about you?  Are you a crown to your husband?  As you go throughout your day, be aware of your speech, your tone, your actions, your countenance... are you sapping the strength out of your husband?  Or are you blessing your husband today?

~LISA

Copyright @ April 2006 Lisa Ball

I received this in an email a few days ago.  Although, it does provoke a chuckle, it also is a good reminder to us wives to be thankful for the husband we have and to not wish for perfection out of our husbands!  After all, I'm sure none of us are perfect wives either! 

The Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
 
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any
man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. 
 
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. 

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. 

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good-looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Did you chuckle?  It is a bit funny.  :)   Let's be sure that we aren't that wife who is impossible to please!  Be thankful for your husband today!

Blessings,

~LISA

A friend of mine sent this to me via email.  I thought it worthy of posting on my blog...  It's from a devotional at Proverbs 31 Ministries:

Proverbs 27:15, "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand." (NIV)   A quarrelsome spouse can quickly turn the familiar phrase, "You complete me," into  "You deplete me." Water torture: It's when you are restrained, lying face up with water hitting you on the forehead between the eyes...one drip at a time. It has been known to drive people crazy. The craving for it to stop is maddening. For 30 years, I've been observing, operating and owning businesses. For seven years in the 80's I owned a salon where six styling chairs rotated the days with cackling women.  Stand back and objectively listen to the sound. The clatter would roll like a wave, first the low rumble of chitchat, building with the latest gossip, and finally the uproar of laughter filled the room. Often the familiar refrain centered on the grumblings and shortcomings of their spouses. It was not uncommon to hear, "He came home from his business trip and I just let him have it." Quickly the other women would chime in with similar stories until the shop noise escalated to a deafening crescendo. A doctor of psychology did a study on why women tell their stylists more than their shrink and he discovered it is because they have a license to touch them. When you get into someone's space close enough to touch them, the barriers often come down. In the past two decades, my business ventures have taken me into industries, which are predominantly male.  It has been interesting to hear "the rest of the story" from the men's points of view. They have been at a trade show all week and yes, they have stayed in a nice place and eaten good food, but they are exhausted. Required to be at the beck and call of not only the boss, but the customer as well; the mental and emotional drain of being "on" all week has wiped them out. If it has been a good week, they are on top of the world; however if things didn't go as planned, their chins might be dragging the floor. Bombarded with compliments, complaints and temptations at every turn, their emotional, mental and spiritual tanks may be empty. They look forward to coming home. At one point in their life they courted you, they longed for you, and they married you. Now they work for you. They go out, kill the buffalo and drag it home for the family to eat... or at least that is the way they feel after a grueling week at work. However, they still envision their princess waiting for them with a warm smile, a gentle hug and an affectionate kiss. The homecoming of the weary warrior is not always what he envisions. He is often greeted with a snippy remark, a screaming child and a frozen bed. Immediately he wants to turn and run back to the wilderness where at least he had a fighting chance. In James chapter four, he poses the question, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something, but don't get it." Are you practicing water torture on your spouse? Are you killing your marriage one drop at a time? Marriages don't fail overnight; it takes months, sometimes years of maddening quarrels to finally snap the final thread of sanity. It is a choice. Proverbs 31:11-12 tells us of a woman who saw the big picture - the health of her marriage. "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." Choose today to be the towel that wipes the sweat from your weary warrior's brow, not the drip that drives him mad.  I pray that as wives, we will be the one that our husband can't wait to get home to!  May we appreciate the gift that God has given us in our spouse!   Blessings, ~LISA

I've edited one of my categories.  Instead of "Romancing Your Husband" which is a book I am reading and commenting on here on my blog, I've changed it to "Happy & Holy Marriage."  I couldn't decide between the two adjectives and so have both! 

Something that has always been on my heart is not only to have a happy and God-honoring marriage, but also to encourage other women in their marriage as well.  This started years ago when I led a women's group of 20 through The Excellent Wife study.  Many studies later, I've been blessed by all that God has taught me personally and also how I've seen Him work in the marriages of those who have been a part of these studies.  It seems only natural that I would have this as a category on my blog. 

In wanting to keep all of my category titles starting with "H," I first thought of "happy" marriage.  So, I looked up the word in a thesaurus:

Happy:  "joyous, joyful, merry, delightful, laughing, contented, satisfied, enraptured, enchanted, blissful, exhilarated, peaceful, comfortable, bright, overjoyed, radiant, lively, spirited, good-humored, playful, thrilled, fun-loving, rejoicing..."

Those are just some of the synonyms for "happy."  Yes!  I desire my marriage to be all of those things!  So, then I looked up "blessed" in the same thesaurus:

Blessed:  "[marked by God's favor, especially in heaven], redeemed, glorified, rewarded, sanctified, glorious, beautified, spiritual, HOLY."

Yes!!  Lord, may our marriage be those things as well.  I want more than anything for a happy and holy marriage.  Not just for my own benefit, although it is wonderful to be able to live this out, but also for the benefit of our children.  To see what a happy and holy marriage is lived out before them.  Also, that our marriage would be a picture to the outside world of a God who redeems, loves, forgives, and never leaves or forsakes us.   As I write that, I think of my grandparents who were married for 69 years before my Grandma went to be with Jesus.  They were that picture to me.  By God's grace, I pray that my grandchildren will someday be able to say that about my marriage.

So, stay tuned to more regarding having a Happy & Holy Marriage!

If you've read this far, you might have noticed that I no longer have a category titled "Happy & Holy Marriage."  I did some rearranging of my categories to try to simplify things.  This entry will now be listed under "Marriage Devotions."

 blessings ~ Lisa