This morning I was chatting with a dear internet friend and she was telling me some cute stories about her children. In one of the stories she mentioned that her son had said, "Momma, may I appeal?" Well that phrasiology caught my attention and I began musing about it.
I first heard that terminology from Bill Gothard at one of his seminars about 25 years ago. He has a whole section in his materials all about "How to make an appeal" when someone in authority asks you to do something that you should not do. Now I don't recall him instructing people to actually say: "May I make an appeal?" but he might have. Anyway, I agreed with the message he was trying to convey and factored it onto my life.
Now, many years later, I'm starting to hear conservative Christian parents teaching their children to use these exact words: "May I make an appeal?" in their everyday living sort of as a replacement for "But Mom..." and I'm wondering where they are getting this from and whether they are really getting the message behind the idea of a godly appeal or not. (My friend says she thinks she heard this "May I make an appeal" stuff from Reb Bradley, btw.)
Okay, what I'm wondering is if parents are switching to "May I make an appeal" just to get away from "But Mom...." without really changing anything. If this is all they are doing, they have missed the whole point. Their child is still arguing with them and shouldn't be, even if it "sounds nicer". In my opinionm, it is less important which words you use, than if you are using them the right way - in this case WHEN IT IS APPROPRIATE. Making a godly appeal should usually only be done when it would be wrong or unwise to obey the person in authority over you. It should not be used just to try to get out of doing something you would prefer not to do.
Generally when you ask a child to do something, he should respond by acknowledging you and then doing what you asked with NO argument. Only if he has a GOOD reason not to do exactly as you asked, should he "appeal". At my house, I tell my children that they can and should, always let me know if there is a good or important reason why they can't or shouldn't do as I asked. It takes a while to get them to know what is important, but eventually they get it, after repeated coaching from me. For example, I tell them to always speak up if someone will get hurt, or if something will get damaged, or if Dad gave them differing instructions. I discuss other "important" facts as they come up, and remind them of these things every time they say "But Mom...".
I personally try to avoid "Christianeze" (words that are used only by Christians) because it makes it more difficult to communicate to non-Christians, but even if you stick with "May I make an appeal?" it should not be a mere replacement for "But Mom..." It should be used only at the appropriate time, when it would be wrong not to. |
• Jan. 20, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I enjoyed reading it!
Praising Him,
Kim