I'm sorry but that is just how she'd want me to say it, just belt it out like that, pull no punches.

We are loading up the van to leave right now. I have been shaking all day but not allowed the tears to come yet.

She was at her house gathering her things. She owned the house with a man she'd broken up with recently. He knew she was there. She was stabbed to death.

My sister was 43 1/2 years old (exactly.) She has 3 daughters and one son. She recently became a grandma for the first time this year, twice- a granddaughter and a grandson, 2 of her daughters having become mothers.

She is also survived by her parents, myself and my family, my brother, his wife and her new nephew, their newborn child, grandparents, loving Aunts, Uncles, and cousins, all so wonderful.

She was pre-deceased by a fiancee', Joseph, who died suddenly in 2000. Below is her testimony which she wrote to my husband Scott recently when he asked her about her walk with Jesus:

Dawn’s Testimony

I think it will be easier to write than to say in person.  It’s hard for me to get the words out without getting too choked up to speak, so here goes:

We buried Joe on a Friday.  That night in his house had been the worst of all, because all of the arrangements were done, and now life was supposed to go on.  So, I decided to spend that Saturday night at Norman’s and Laura’s.  I slept up in the little cottage, which is where Joe and I always slept, and that was almost as bad as the night before.  Basically I just slept and cried all night.  Sunday morning I woke up with this “dead” feeling inside of me.  No more looking forward to the future, no more joy, no more anything.  I was empty inside…except for the pain, and feeling totally alone.  I decided to take a shower, though, hoping I would feel better, but I just stood there crying under the water, wondering how I was supposed to go on, feeling nothing but emptiness and misery.  Then, within a split second, all of that washed away, and was replaced by an absolute feeling of joy and love.  In fact, the joy was so strong, I laughed out loud.  I knew I was not alone.  I was sure it was Joe with me.  I even said hello to him, and thanked him for making me feel better.  I felt better the rest of the day, and was able to think about the future again.  Later I realized it was probably Jesus who healed my broken soul, but I believe Joe was the actual presence I felt.  Jesus must have been inside my soul.  I have known since that day that Joe is in Heaven, along with all of our loved ones, and he’s waiting, so I’ll enjoy life to the fullest while here, knowing I’ll see him again.  I also believe the feeling of absolute joy and love must be what we will feel in Heaven.  I also believe Jesus let me feel it for that moment so I would know Joe was okay.  It’s indescribable, but I can assure you it’s nothing I’ve ever felt before.

I have never felt that emptiness again.

My sister once expressed she'd like to be buried next to Joseph.

So you see, through her grief she already showed me how to do this.

She was always going before me.

I could not leave here without telling you all of this because I know your prayers will follow us.

God is great and God is good and God will get us through this, Jesus and family.

God put my sister on this earth and I Praise Him, Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

Amen.