I would like to give all of you a BIG heartfelt thanks for your comments over the past month +. I cannot describe how wonderful it is to have support. Our healing comes from many different avenues and my blog friends have definitely been playing a part. So THANK YOU and God Bless you all. I hope to be leaving comments again soon.

My sister, whom I now need to be calling OUR sister because I do share this loss with a brother and his wife, our 3rd sister- - and my husband- OUR sister read my blog every day. When I checked my stats, I could always see her connection from her computer at work in New Jersey. (I'm sure it was at lunchtime, Paul! smile) [That's our sister's boss of 15 years.]  Her work is suffering like the family they are, too.

I really did not know what I was going to do with this blog. I definitely will not be checking "stats" for a while. I don't even care (anymore) and may delete the statcounter, anyway.

Furthermore, you should all know that right now, it only seems to be on RANDOM DAYS that I can even get into this blog since the update last month. So unless that straightens out, now you know why my posting is random as well. I was very happy to get on today. Yesterday and some days before I could not even view my blog! But I am not complaining. I know HSB has their hands full. I took it as maybe God didn't want me on here.

One thing I can tell is that the homeschooling is very different for me. We are not officially back at it until Wednesday, the 3rd, after the holiday. I am blessed that my husband has Tues. the 2nd off as well.

So maybe once I start up again I will have things to say. Meanwhile I am also considering beginning a blog to write about the journey I am on, the process of grief, which I know will take a long time, at least years, and we have a trial to go through, too, which will not be on the court schedule for 1-2 years at least, and will also take its toll.

As a Christian woman I know at this point God does not expect me to forgive that assailant like He would if He were asked. I know God forgives murderers. I am not God. Honestly, this is the first time in my life I have actually hoped someone does not hear the Gospel message and burns in Hell. 

Obvioulsy I have a lot of anger to deal with. Sudden traumatic loss is one thing. Intentionally losing a family member due to a person's selfish will is- a change in your whole perspective toward humankind.

My husband found me a nice, down to earth Christian counselor only 15 minutes away, which is a miracle up here where even my gas is 15 minutes away. He has people at the town he works in, and my children will all be seeing my lady.

Dawn  was killed on one of my son's birthdays. I won't say who (for secure reasons) but if you pray God will know whom you mean.

This post has gotten WAY long which shows how much I need it. You should see my handwritten diary/journal. It is getting filled every day!

So I hope to keep this a reasonable homeschool blog, as that is what everyone is here for- I know, I never wrote about homeschooling, anyway. It was always political/social stuff, which I don't care about anymore. (I must say that writing on here and walking away again helps get me ready for homeschooling.)

So we will see what happens with this blog. I do need to start another about Dawn, as I do not want to unfairly make you read all that. If/when I do, I'll link it here. In the meantime, I hope I get back on here again next time, and here are 2 pictures of our sister, mother, aunt, friend, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, niece, goddaughter:

Here is Dawn with her two Grandbabies. She never lived to see their First Birthday or Christmas.

I love this picture for how happy she looks. We are at beach vacation, remember that trip I took in July? She is feeding her Grandson who was just Born. She attended his Birth.

Here is our brother's website about our Dawn: Remember Dawn

There are pictures there, too.