I don’t feel that anymore. The grief has moved. It’s quite amazing.

(You see? All people need is time. Folks don’t get enough time in this country or recognition for grief. It’s fast, fast, fast…3 days for a funeral and then, back to work! Get over it! Move on!)

Now my grief-experience says: Look out!! Good swings are always followed by pits when it comes to grief. Well, yes, that’s right. And I will probably be having a horrible time rather soon, when we are at the sentencing in October. Still, I know that even 3 steps forward and 1 or 2 back get me someplace.

So I’m just kind of saying, Wow. I am at my blog and it feels nice.

All of you who have checked in these past 22 months, you have done more for me by being there dependably, no matter how long I was between posts, no matter if I wrote back or not, than I can say. But I will try to say it:

I thought losing this blog = your friendships would be just another consequence of a violent crime. Something I had to let go of, hopelessly, with no choice.

But I didn’t give it up completely, because of you all.

And now I see that I didn’t have to. After ALL that I have been forced to say good-bye to, dreams, hopes, a previous life, the family we used to have~

I hope you can get a glimmer of how comforting it is to have something that withstood this crime!!!

With tears, I thank you. You will not know (until heaven) how much you have helped me.

Sincerely,

Allison Costa