It's 11:15pm and I should be asleep!  I went to bed and turned off the light at 10pm, but my heart was so full I just couldn't sleep!  I am so excited about being being baptised on Sunday...it's going to be awesome, and amazing and scary! 

I am struggling with a few things at the moment...I lose my temper a bit with the children some-times,  I just hate myself when it happens...I mean, I tell my ds 7 off when he calls his sister names, and yet in the last few days I have shouted at him (for disobedience & defiance) called him a twit (which BTW means pregnant goldfish!?) and asked him if he is stupid.  I didn't mean any of those things - I mean what kind of  mother calls her darling babies names?   I love my children so much...but I have a very combative relationship with my ds 7...I'm not sure why this is...I had a very traumatic birth experience with him and had trouble bonding with him, so I guess that could be it.

I am working on cultivating the fruit of the spirit* in my life, I definitely need some more patience and self-control.

I think I will talk the children on Monday about the fruit of the spirit and how we can all help each other to cultivate it in our lives...I need to apologize for my angry outbursts and ask their forgiveness (not for the first time *sigh*). 

Being baptised will be a brand new start for me...death to the old me who is lacking in patience and self-control, and birth to the new me...living for Christ 100%.  Of course I don't expect to suddenly be perfect after my baptism, I know it doesn't work that way, but I am committed to growing in my walk with the Lord.  I desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman with all my heart...I must admit...I need to work on that whole "does not eat the bread of idleness" thing too.

How's that for honesty huh??  Please pray for me.

*But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22

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Posted by joyfulhome

I know I have been in this same situation as you many times :( What helped me a lot was being disciplined, having my routines in order and also reading some articles concerning anger. I'll post the links on the main group site.

Take it a day at a time. A study on the Fruit of the Spirit is a great idea. I've been meaning to do one with the kids as well. I will next year, after Christmas is over and the new year has begun. Maybe we can compare notes and share ideas :)

Love,

Joy

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Posted by 40winkzzz

We all make mistakes w/our kids. I know I have wounded my kids with my words and even my attitudes-- many, many times. I decided very early on that I would not be afraid to say "I'm sorry" to my kids, b/c I knew I'd end up having to say it a lot! I think that goes a long way; as my kids see me repentant, I'm sure it paves the way for their own repentance. Apologizing to them also helps to diffuse their own anger. It isn't always easy to do, tho, esp when I am already exasperated and angry. I'd far rather focus on *their* bad behavior than my own! (The problem is, as a wise person once told me, that kids do the same thing-- as soon as I react wrongly to their behavior, their attention shifts to *my* bad behavior and they can no longer look at their own. That's food for thought.) *Sigh* I'm just glad that my kids have one Perfect Parent who loves them far more than their dad & I ever could!

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