There's a lot of talk in Christian circles today about friendship and "community." The topic came up today on a message board for Christian homeschoolers that I frequent. The person who started the discussion said this:
A friend of mine told me recently that if one of her friends were living in "unrepentant sin", she would have to break fellowship with them... Do you ever "break fellowship" with a friend for something they've done? Do you consider this Biblical?
I guess my personal feeling on it is that once I'm friends with a person, I'll never give up on them. If they live a lifestyle I don't approve, I'm still going to care about them and talk to them and be their friend. If one of my friends decided to move in with her boyfriend, she would probably feel uncomfortable around me because she would know I didn't approve of that... But I wouldn't cut her for it.
I realize that this is a popular view among Christians today. True, we are supposed to love and forgive when people sin against us, but are we supposed to look the other way when a fellow believer is living in a pattern of unrepentant sin?
Here's how I replied on the message board:
I never have [broken fellowship with a friend because of unrepentant
sin], but yes, I would consider it. Yes, I do believe it is Biblical (if the
person in question is a believer).
Matthew 18:15-17
If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he
listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you,
take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses
every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them,tell it to the
church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a
Gentile and a tax collector.
I don't believe that "breaking fellowship" means you're giving up on a friend. The very best thing we can do for our friends is to relate to them
in a Biblical way. Taking a serious, Biblical attitude about sin and acting in the way the Bible tells us to is the sincerest expression of
friendship.
