(I start right after there was a sickening crack)

There was once a young man walking along the stormy road on the eve of the darkest Friday of the month. His blue eyes almost glowed in his tan face, and his long legs took wide strides over the ripped turf. Destruction was coming, something shivered in the air like silk in the wind, and the man could sense that it was not good. His fists clenched as he walked over the countryside, away from his home and his family, away from everyone he had ever trusted. Life was a trivial thing, so he thought. Especially his life. He wanted it to change and indeed, it HAD to change before the wildness was broken free from the gates of whatever stood between him and his new life. Something was coming, he could feel it in the ground beneath his feet and heard it in the rain drumming the bare tree branches. The man suddenly stopped and turned around, unsheathing his dagger. He was stunned to find that Batman was standing right behing him. He jumped and screamed a little. Batman gave a cruel laugh and glared down at the man, one of his stoopid little ears thingys falling over his eye. He hit it back up with a annoyed slap.

"Ya wanna see how high I can fly?" Batman asked in a high squeeky annoying voice

"Uh...sure..." the man said.

 Batman gave a small leap looking quite like a pinguin.

"Oh!" He squeeked, " I think I need a running jump." Batman ran to the top of the building and jumped off "WATCH MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" He yelled as he dropped at a rapid speed towards the asphant.

An old woman eating a hot dog she just bought looked up in shock at the black object shooting out of the air straight towards her. The Dark Knight fell right on the woman's head. There was a sickening crack as the old lady smacked Batman with her enourmous handbag.  "Whaddaya think you're doing, sonny?" she demanded.  "Quit bouncing around and sqashing me for no apparent reason!"  With a loud 'hrumph' the old woman walked right up to the young man, and, although he had never met her, addressed him by his first name.  "Kyik, go find a sword that has 'Draw me not without reason' traced on one side of the blade and 'Sheath me not without honor' on the other side.  If you draw any sword but that, you will promptly die." 

"But most swords are kept in sheaths, so how will I know if it's the right one if I don't unsheath it, and if it isn't the right one I'll die, so I only have one chance!  What am I supposed to do?" Kyik yelled in desperation as the woman walked away.

"Draw the right sword, stupid boy," she said casually over her shoulder.

Kyik sighed and went to sheath his dagger, then stopped as he..........

*grins wickedly*  Okay, drehounda Kantare!  Take it away!