"Stop...." I groaned as my head rolled back and forth, trying to brake free of my memories.
I groaned again, I wished I hadn't subbmitted to my memeories.....once, I hadn't come out of my Memory Trance for three days.
"STOP!" I shouted, but my mind wouldn't brake.
"Curse my strong will." I muttered, my eyes rolling back into my head as another memory took over.
~
My hands curled around the tiny pagoda’s top as my body lifted itself up and down...up and down...up and down.
My only friend, Guru Pathik, sat below me in a meditating position.
Sweat beads began to form on my skin, some parts starting to itch.
I’m not going to stop. Nothing can stop me. I thought, a determined little ten year old.
My hands tightened their grasp, my shoulders straining. I began to gasp for air. I had been doing hand-stand push ups on this pagoda’s top for almost two hours straight, but I hadn’t yet reached my goal.
Just a little more. Go for it. Push the pain away. Don’t think about it. I encouraged myself.
It seemed, I was my only encouragement. Sure, I had Jun…and my dad…but they just weren’t enough.
I was stronger then this.
I didn’t need to cry.
I shouldn’t cry.
I wouldn’t cry.
But I didn’t have my mother. That was what I wanted.
At the thought of my mother, my concentration snapped, and so did my grasp.
My shoulders slid out of place, I fell backward, my body swinging like a monkey-bird as I slid around.
The pagoda’s wood rasped itself against the palms of my hands, burning them. A little screech emitted my lips.
My body swung back and forth, hanging under the pagoda like a monkey-bird by its tail.
But the thing was, I didn’t have a tail. So, that meant I really had no balance either.
With each swing, Guru Pathik moved his bust out of the way, not even bothering to help me.
Gravity soon went to work, loosening my grasp, and only showing me that I wasn’t exactly in control here.
My hands let themselves go, and I flew forwards. Closing my eyes, lifting my hands slowly from instinct that I had called upon too much throughout my young years, I prepared myself to make contact with the watery surface.
And sure enough, I soon fell. Hitting the small amount of water quickly, pain tingling upon my weary body, I tried to breath.
Stupid mistake. I lived it the Spirit World, but I couldn’t breath under two feet of murky water.
Lifting myself out of the water with my forearms, I gasped for breath. My lungs gratefully took it.
Good, at least that part of my body was working. My brain on the other hand…
Turning over onto my back, my whole body submersed itself in the dirty water.
My head broke the surface, I closed my eyes, and sighed.
I could get nothing right. I groaned and growled as I dragged myself to my knees and attempted to detach all of the sea weed strands and even strange kinds of tiny fish away from my form.
When that was finished, I raised my wet head defiantly, and ran toward the pagoda, rage and frustration eating my alive.
“AAAAUUUUURRRRGGGHHH!!!” I screamed, punching the Pagoda’s wood column with my fist.
I felt no pain. I wasn’t looking for any.
I was stronger then this.
I didn’t need to cry.
I shouldn’t cry.
I wouldn’t cry.
Fire danced around the pagoda, reflecting in my eyes. The heat didn’t bother me, so I placed my hand upon the wood, fire dancing around my own hand.
I closed my eyes in defeat, hung my head, and fell to my knees.
“I’ve tried for two months. I should have been able to do that by now.” I stated, hatred toward myself rising up in my words.
But then my mother had to go and get in the way.
I was stronger then this.
I didn’t need to cry.
I shouldn’t cry.
I wouldn’t cry.
“Well, you won’t be able to practice ever again.” The Guru replied, a little giggled following.
My head raised toward him, my eyes burning with green and amber fiery passion.
“How so?” I asked.
My hand slid off of the wood, the whole pagoda already dancing in flames.
I slowly crawled over to the meditating Guru, and fell onto my side next to him; in the act, lacing my hair in dirt.
His brown eyes opened for the first time in four hours. Looking around, he found what he was looking for.
“Yuck.” I spat as he took a sip of his onion and banana juice.
“You burned it.”
I stifled a laugh, even though I wasn’t in a laughing mood. I did burn the pagoda, so it was only natural that I couldn’t practice on it.
Actually, that made perfect sense. And now that it did, I took that time to laugh.
Guru Pathik soon joined in.
“Now, pray tell, why was your concentration broken?” He asked.
My eyes ripped open, his own meeting mine.
I looked away, my answer reflecting plain as day across my pale, wet, scarred, face.
“Your mother left for a very good reason.”
“If it was so good, then for the love of the Elements, she should have told me.” I grumbled, slowly pushing myself up, and then going into a cleaner part of the water to lather the dirt out of my hair.
“It was not the right time to tell you. Besides, you were only a year old.”
“THEN MAYBE SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE FREAK'N LEFT ME!”
I began to cry, though I hid my face.
I was stronger then this.
I didn’t need to cry.
I shouldn’t cry.
I wouldn’t cry.
Wiping the back of my hands across my eyes, I turned back around to see my friend.
“Tell me, why won’t you let anyone see you cry, dear one?” He asked.
I turned back around, hugged myself, and hung my head. I wasn’t going to answer…I couldn’t.
“Triss?” He gently pressed.
I shook my head, tears flying. No one had ever seen me cry. And I would have liked it to have stayed that way, until I felt two old, crinkled, warm, and comforting hands grasp my shoulders.
I turned around, my eyes blood-shot.
Pathik stood above me…Looking down on me…Smiling at me…
He pulled me into a warm and reassuring hug, and I returned it.
My chest rose and fell. I exhaled and inhaled my breath with a choppy air, sounding kind of strange.
“Your only ten. You make life harder then it has to be, dear one.” He murmured.
“Age is but a number. And there is no life here, I’m dead, remember?” I replied.
I pulled myself away from him. I could stand alone. I didn’t need a hug.
“Don’t block a chakra, or your chi, your forcing yourself to be so independent.” He gently warned.
I turned around and hung my head once more.
“I could care less about blocking whatever. I just want my mother back.” I replied, letting go of a lot of what had been bottled up inside for too long.
I was stronger then this.
I didn’t need to cry.
I shouldn’t cry.
I wouldn’t cry.
I could sense Guru Pathik take a step backward.
I followed. One step after another. Until I stood my back bumped up against something.
It was solid, and a bit furry. My knees twisted, my body following.
I then came face to face with the seventh Spirit I had ever met.
A panda.
Just that.
A panda.
“Um…is this like, some kind of sick joke?” I asked, rubbing my head, my cheeks blushing.
Guru Pathik probably knew I loved panda’s.
“This is Hai Bei.” He said, standing behind me.
I looked upward, and smiled, tears leeking into my mouth.
“If your not going to cry to me, cry to him. He can’t talk. Though he can listen better then anyone.”
I looked back down at the little panda cub. He was so adorable…
Trust began to build up in my heart, pounding at its cage bars, screaming to get out.
I sensed Guru Pathik, my guardian, my friend, leave me alone with this Hai Bei.
My eyes locked with the little panda’s eyes.
I was stronger then this.
I didn’t need to cry.
I shouldn’t cry.
But I was going to cry.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
About Me Avii at her Finest by ~ForeverWriting on deviantART Recent Posts• The Forgotten Princess: Chapter VI: The Death Game• The Forgotten Princess: Chapter V: The Finding • The Forgotten Princess: Chapter VI: Invisible Tears • The Forgotten Princess: Chapter III: Cry • From Avii, on behalf of Katara • The Forgotten Princess: Chapter II: The Tree of Elements • The Forgotten Princess: Chapter I: Stop and Start • DOUBLE TAG! • StarWars: The CloneWars part I and II • I've Caught you Look'n! • I steal everything, don't I??? :D • I'm a stealer! Links• Journey Home• Do You Wish To Know Me? • The Past • Scrolls You May Write to Avii Free Counter  Create your own visitor map!    Create yours at BlingyBlob.com! 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  Myspace Layouts  Myspace Layouts  Myspace Layouts  Fantasy Icons  Myspace Layouts  Myspace Layouts      
   
   
    Heart Icons  Myspace Codes  Myspace Icons  Myspace Codes  Myspace Stuff  Myspace Stuff  Sayings Icons  Myspace Icons  Sayings Icons  Myspace Stuff   
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
