OK! So I am growing this wonderful life but my life does not feel so wonderful. Since being told I have placenta privia, and put on light duty. My husband will not let me do anything. I had not been to the store in over 6 weeks. I finally talked him into letting me go if I rode on the cart thing at the grocery store. I did this and was able to go w/ my hubby to the store. The down fall is that when I got home I was having pains from sitting up to long. :-(
To add to my not so fun life. My mother in law, who is a wonderful house keeper, she does this for a living too, is here helping my husband clean my house. She has been in my bathroom for 45 minutes if not more. Not that this is a bad thing but it makes me feel like a failure in doing my job as a Mother and wife that I am not able to take care of my house the way it should be done.
We had meals coming about every other night for 2 weeks and they stopped becuase well it was a lot to ask our friends to cook for us all the time, much less complete strangers who signed up to help. Well we have not had a home cooked meal in a week since that stopped. My hubby has either gone out and purchased dinner or we have had cereal or peanut butter and jelly for dinner. I wish I could stand long enough to cook a meal for my family but if I stand to long I have camping.
Biggun's schooling has been ok since he does most of it on his own on the computer. I got his new Abeka math workbook to start after he has his testing done on Tuesday. I am thinking we will take a week off from school. And start our new year on June 16th. I am terrified over his testing coming up. That he has not improved enough. Praying daily over that.
So here I lay in my bed growing a baby while I feel like my life is moving with out me. But I have to keep leaning on the Lord when I feel this way and remember as my own Daddy says often, "This to shall pass."
Your Dad is right, this will pass, but in the mean time, doesn't it feel like it never will? ;) Earlier in the year, we went almost 3 month eating only frozen foods. I kept telling myself that it wouldn't last forever and to be grateful for frozen foods....but it was hard to be joyful deep down.
I sure would hate to think about how long your MIL would have to spend in my bathroom. :) I think that we are going on month 7 since it has had a good cleaning. We wipe it down and try to keep it neat, but other than that, well I just can't do it now.
I am so glad that this is only a season for us and it will get better soon! I can't imagine having to live like this forever. I also glad that your dh is such a caring man that he understands that this is serious. That really shows that he is a man of character!
I am praying for you! And for Biggun's test....that he will do better than you ever imagined.
It's hard to let everything go. We always feel that the home is OUR job, and we've failed if someone else has to do it for us. But really, the heart of our family is the job God entrusted to us. And by taking care of that baby, honoring your husband and being excited about Biggun and Baby Bear's accomplishments; you're doing a GREAT JOB! Keep rockin' girl, I'm praying for you and yours!
This too shall pass. It's difficult to have to rely on the kindness of others, isn't it? We start feeling like a failure for not being able to do it all. But like you said, you are growing the baby and the baby's health and your health is of utmost importance right now. So try to relax and when you start feeling guilty, remember that this is only a season in your life that will pass.
Love,
Genesis from the Swap :-)
Oh, B, you are in my prayers! Don't be so hard on yourself. How can you be a failure at being a mom when you are doing such a good job of caring for that new life growing inside of you?! And remember, this is just a season, and a very short one at that. Find the silver lining, the rainbow, and enjoy this time to "be still" and know that He is God.
Praying feverently for your heart,
Betty
You shouldn't feel so badly about your MIL cleaning. Even as I say this, I completely understand the feeling! I felt the same way about my MIL cleaning for me! Just remind yourself, thought, that you have had a LOT on your plate for a very long time now. Cleaning house has had to take a back burner position. Go easy on yourself and continue to rest in God's hands. Love you, my friend!
