Mar. 11, 2008
So Why Do I Feel Guilty?
I seem to have hurt my good friend's feelings, although I'm not sure how I could have avoided it, so I'm feeling... whatever goes along with that. I've been trying to start up a playgroup for homeschoolers, and my friend wants to come to be involved because she lives out in the middle of nowhere and is home all day with her 5 really little kids which she homeschools. She was involved in a “Christian” homeschool support group (I use the term lightly) and was made to feel unwelcome, she wouldn't accuse them of anything, but some other things lead me to believe it was because her family is Catholic. (I don't particularly like those people, they're cliquish as highschool girls. The support group, that is-- not Catholics.)
So my friend has called to ask me-- two days in a row now-- why we can't meet at a different park where she could be included. I feel awful. The whole POINT of the playgroup was to meet at a park out here so those of us in the south part of the county would have some way to meet up without driving so far. That was the whole raison d'etre of the thing!
My friend lives way up in the north part of the county. (In our county, the population is in the center, and the north and south ends are the boondocks.) From the park we want to meet at, it's a good hour of driving, on winding, narrow roads, one lane bridges and logging trucks. Not fun.
So now I don't know what to do. If I was willing to drive the 35 minutes further to the next park, there wouldn't have been any need for me to try to start up this playgroup! But I know how she feels. We're pretty isolated out here, and it gets really hard to see your kids alone day after day, even if they have each other for best friends...
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Comments
Mar. 11, 2008 - Untitled Comment
 Posted by Anonymous
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Sorry, I know it hurts, but you're going to have to hold your ground on this one. If you start moving things around for one person, another will suggest another spot that works for her, and the cycle will continue. You'll start getting accused of playing favorites, etc. Just gently let your friend know you fully understand, but...
Maybe you could meet up with her just once a month?
Maybe she can branch out and start her own group near her? Maybe there is someone near her that she hasn't met yet that is praying for just such a friend.
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Mar. 12, 2008 - Untitled Comment
 Posted by momto5blessings
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Homeschooling can feel isolating sometimes. I would not make it far away. You will not last long term. Sometimes you need to put your family first. I would try to get together with her separately and still start your group. I am sure other mom's in your area will be excited to have a close option.
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Mar. 15, 2008 - Hi!
 Posted by strs
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I have been keeping all of our fellow homeschoolers in your state in my prayers. My whole family, including DD, signed the HSLDA petition. DD was really upset and ready to voice her political opinion.
Now to your friend. A sticky situation, I know. Sometimes, you just have to put aside everyone else's needs and do what is best for you and your family. I have had to come to that conclusion with some of my friends, who like to take advantage of a situation to suit themselves regardless of everyone else's needs. If she is a true friend, she will understand your reasoning. Good luck, with whatever you decide.
Tafy Sills from Blackberry Lane Farm
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Mar. 22, 2008 - Hi!
Posted by Rebecca C |
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I hopped over here from Jeneric Jeneralities -- Love your blog!!!
I agree that you're in a tough spot. Don't feel guilty, because you can only do "as much as you can do", right? You might consider inviting your friend to come to the park day and then stay for supper, so it's not such a drive-drive-drive day for her. Or maybe to come early and have lunch before and then she can drive home, and the kiddos could nap in the car.
I had my little ones -- six in just under six years (with a set of twins) -- with me all the time when they were little, and we lived 30 minutes from everywhere. It was always a struggle to stay "connected and sane"! Encourage your friend to, as mentioned before, start her own group or make the effort to join yours. Sounds like she could really use the encouragement!
Blessings!
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