Since I took Gabriel out of school at the beginning of the year I've been slow to work my way around the various home ed groups that meet up around here. My dh was of the opinion that it would be better to find our feet at home first and I think that it was sound advice. Most of our time is spent at home.
Leisure time is spent digging for worms in the garden, doing
jigsaws and building marble runs. Lately the bubba has become entranced by
watching the washing go round in the machine. This activity can while away a good
half hour in silence, punctuated only by the occasional shriek as the water
rushes in or drains away, or he spots his “rocket” pyjamas.
When the two older boys come home from high school they all wrestle like fox cubs, doing rugby tackles and throwing each other into the beanbags.
Despite the apparently unanimous agreement (amongst non homeschoolers) on the
importance of “socialization” Gabriel has not even once expressed a sense of
missing out on that aspect of his old school life. This has taken me by
surprise. I thought that of all the elements that make up the school day, play
time, despite its hazards, would be the most keenly missed.
Shortly after he left school, I asked him how he felt. He’d had his lunch and was lying on the floor doing a puzzle. I pointed out that his school friends were all, at that time, in the playground. He was indifferent. I probed a little more. “Do you miss the playground?” Gabriel put down his puzzle piece and gave me one of his speciality goggle eyed “Are you insane in the membrane?” looks. “Muuuummm, the playground was just noise, noise, noise, it gave me a headache”.
So when people enquire as to how I am meeting his need for socialization, I am able to assure them that that box is ticked. We happen to be a very “social” household and have guests in and out throughout the week. They’re just not (necessarily) the same age as Gabriel. And that’s the way (uh huh uh huh) we like it.
That said, I decided last week to investigate a group that meet locally, it’s a bit like a co operative. It was interesting. Most groups have their own “corporate” personality. Judging by the newsletters and photo montages on display ( which I assiduously studied so as not to look too much like the “Billy-no-mates” I actually was) this groups personality was very, well, “eco-conscious”. There were lots of Greenpeace posters and a petition about GMO crops. There were some jolly looking photos of field trips with lots of people who looked a great deal like Swampy the eco-warrior, I think they were making a yurt in a forest.
I met an
American woman, she was very friendly (Americans mostly are, in my experience)
She had long curly hair, like Crystal Tips, and little John Lennon pebble
glasses. I felt a little surge of optimism and kinship (well I’m practically
American now aren’t I? Since I blog here, and I say “homeschooling” and I know what Tootsie rolls are-
thank you Edith!) I asked her about hs in the States. I opined that it seemed to me that the homeschool
movement in the
Comments
May. 4, 2006 - Just nod and smile...
Posted by ihopeyoudance
HA! I probably would have done the same thing... it's really hard once someone's made a comment like that to help them out of it with any grace, so I think you did the best thing possible. I'm afraid I would have made a bigger mess by erupting in laughter and not being able to explain why... those kinds of things tickle my funny bone.
Ruth
May. 4, 2006 - Normal people
Posted by kphillips5
Well clare I would love to say that I would have declared my "allegience" promptly but th etruth is I would have done the same thing and hoped for another opportunity with her at a later date. Isn't it funny though how we have certain assumptions about the cicles that we run in. I think that was the biggest suprise I had when I began homeschooling. There were quite a few people who didn't think like me or school like me,who knew?
Loved the story of the prison trip. Never made it there on my trips to London-town.Have a glorious day in the Lord, I have to drag my kids away from "socialization" and make them do some learning! :}
May. 4, 2006 - We understand
Posted by Garrisongang
Great blog Clare! We understand the whole "fitting in" thing when it comes to homeschool groups in the UK. My wife went to one such group, which shall remain nameless, ONCE. That was... uhhhh..... one too many times. It seems that most of the home education groups over here are definitely special interest groups (read: often lunatic fringe), and the idea that Christian homeschoolers could be sensible, nay even intelligent and forward looking, seems to be way outside the realms of possibility. I think I probably would have done the same thing myself. Although, being the bearer of an American accent, I might have gone for the "Yeah, I'm one of THOSE CHRISTIAN homeschoolers too!!" just for the shock effect. (grin) Things have to be gently done over here, but I think that it may be time for us Christian types to get together and start considering how we can make a difference.... in a way that will actually make a difference.
May. 4, 2006 - I'd be Chicken Little!!
Posted by mamasmurf
Clare, I'd probably have done exactly as you did - or hidden behind my hubby who's a lot more up-front and at'em than I am!! The groups we choose to go to are pretty much as you describe - we went to one once where one young lady was very proud of the fact that she'd just become a "Reverend", when I asked in which church, she said, "Oh, I'm Wiccan!" Needless to say, we didn't go again!!
On the whole, we are tolerated but seen as being a bit threatening - I mean, we might try to convert everybody!! Most other homeschooling families we know tend to follow an autonomous learning style - the fact that we're more structured in our approach tends to be frowned upon.
My son's socialization is very similar to at your home - lots of people of various ages. He also doesn't miss the playground at all!
Chrissy
May. 4, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Debismumto4
Hi Clare
I so know where your coming from. The amount of pressure to provide playground type socialisation was very intense. I do feel that apart from fellow non home schooling christians who seem to feel totally threatened by what we do, the general alarm at home schooling is waning. I have had an increasing positive response to teaching the children at home and very few people question their socialisation needs any more.
We are fortunate where we live that there are several like minded home schoolers who like us are choosing to Raise their Children ( in the ways of the Lord ) and I have had little need to look to secular groups for support. The one and only time I tried a local non christian group I was faced with a very similar situation to you. The chanting on a CD in the backgroung and the fact that they were making musical instument type things with the instructions telling you all about how they called on the rain gods need I say more. I realised the only thing we had in common was Home education in its very loosest form.
Home schooling is growing here and we as a christian coomunity need to start supporting each other no matter where we are in the country. That has been probably one of the best things about the blog is that we are getting to know people all over the place who are on the whole like minded in their desires.
Love Deb
May. 4, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Buckeyeblog
First of all, before I forget, what's a yurt?
I just love your blog. You MUST write more; your wit is absolutely cunning and I enjoy it to no end.
I'm not quite sure what I would have done - I probably would have told her that I'm "one of those," for the shock value, like someone else said. It's very interesting to me to hear from you and your commenters about how different groups are across the pond..and the public's perception of us. This is our 13th year and I can see quite a few changes over the years of how much better we are being accepted and we don't get "those looks" when we're out during school hours. I don't feel like store clerks are mulling over whether to report me to Children's Services or not.
Hope hopre homeschooling continues to grow and blossom in the UK - specifically Christian homeschooling. Keep up the good work, be encouraged and please keep writing!
Blessings from Ohio/USA, Kim Wolf<><
May. 5, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jayfromcleveland
Clare, brilliant and insightful as always. Not having crossed the pond and only having media impressions of the UK, I'm astounded to read such things as you write. I'm learning a whole lot about the UK from you and the other bloggers. I was talking with Paul S. and he told me about his visit. He explained a bit about the state of Christian faith in the UK and how you very folks have the opportunity to really impact your land for Jesus. Stay true and stay in touch with each other and you'll be astounded at the things the LORD will do through you!
May. 6, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Leigh2
I probably would have done the same thing that you did. I never know what to do in situations like that, and then I get home and think of about a million things that I could have said. That's why I prefer writing to talking. If I could just pause the conversation and think about it for a few minutes, I would be so much happier. :o)
May. 7, 2006 - Don't be so hard on yourself
Posted by Edith
Well I can say that I do know Clare a bit. In the past year I have been blessed to get to know Clare and her family personalyl. And there is one thing that I know is Clare is never SHY about saying what she believes! Therefore, don't be so hard on yourself. If God meant for you to say something at the moment I am sure it would have happened.
In my opiniono, being a Christian is not something you can debate ( I am aware that we should be ready to give a response to our faith). It is not something you can convince people. It is something that is revealed. God is revealed to us and we come to Him in FAITH, not knowledge.
Also, we don't know where in that nice American woman's journey she was. We can't speculate...maybe the incident happended not for her...but you, Clare to challenge yourself or ask yourself why is it that at that point you felt afraid to proclaim that you were a Christian????
I am rambling...but what I do know is that we must remember that the things we do should point us back to God. Let God receive the glory in that situation. You are using it know to initiate conversation about telling others about our faith. I think you are being used to make people think about it. In conclusion, to God be the Glory!!! Edith
May. 8, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by BattlementsofRubies
Edip! Thank you for visiting! Do drop by again! x
May. 28, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by HeartnSoul
I would have said "oh how interesting!' and "who would be of like mind with you then?" Then she would say "if you want to know meet us at midnight and you catch the bats..." You know for that bat unit lol. Eeek I would be so curious as to why she was homeschooling...?
blessings
Denise T
May. 31, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jinyeah3
I usually snicker, but you made me laugh out loud. I think perhaps your response was appropriate. You didn't want to scare her! Jenette.