My family have been plunged into gloom tonight. At least two of them have. My husband and son no.2 are devoted Arsenal fans and tonight was set aside, in high spirits for the champions league final ( Arsenal V Barcelona ). A couple of friends turned up with beer ( of course) and all was set fair. I could hear from the roaring ( I was in the kitchen) that things were looking up initially. But any optimism was short lived .In short the Gooners lost. 2:1 to Barcelona.
Do I care? I'd rather watch paint dry. I missed out on the sport loving gene. I just don't get it.
When I was at high school we had to play hockey. Or I say play. I had to turn up in a gym skirt and hold a ridiculous stick. I couldn't in all honesty say I actually played. If any action came near me I ran away from the ball. No way was I letting those grim faced gels near my ankles with their sticks. Pah! have the ball if you want it so much. I care for my bony eminences, ankle hitting hurts!
A few years ago I was invited to go "urban paintballing". It was a corporate team building event and they were 2 short so they invited Noreen and I to make up numbers, they must have been desperate.
It was held in an old victorian warehouse in Kings Cross. It was very dark and dank and "atmospheric". Lit by the occasional dim, flickering neon light . Shadows everywhere, oil drums ( for "cover") probably spiders and slimy ick, if you could see it, ugh! I am such a girl!
We were split into teams and given a pep talk by our leader. The objective was to capture the enemy flag and also to prevent them from capturing ours.I felt totally ridiculous in my body armour, "military stylie", but some of them were loving it. The staff, by the way were hilarious, one of them got changed out of his work camo's at the end of the evening to go home, and he emerged from the changing room in his own set of camo's. Clearly a devotee.
During the pep talk I made it clear that I was actually quite/rather/very/extremely scared of getting hit ( I know its not life threatening, but coming home with nasty , black bruises on my thighs is not my idea of a good evening out) Noreen and I were "detailed" to hang around our flag and shoot anyone who tried to take it. A "low action" post since it didn't require charging round a pitch black warehouse like Rambo.
Honestly, I was petrified, the atmosphere, and the masks and everything really got to me. We found a little cupboard near the flag ( it was a really weird building) and we decided to squeeze ourselves in there and hide. There was no action for ages. We could hear shouts and bangs, but from our hidey hole we couldn't see anything. We kept peering through the cracks in the wood, our sniper guns poking out. We were the Crack Hiding Squad. We chatted in whispers, it got boring, I got cramp,the adrenaline started to ebb. We were like twins in utero, all knotted up together. Eventually the odd stray "soldier" would approach the flag with caution, seeing no one around they got bold. We waited till they got right up to the flag and then...Bam!... Sorry, its horrid, but war is war. We were actually rather successful cowards but at the end Noreen decided she couldn't take it anymore. She ran out, just like the closing scene in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. She was brilliant. Then, as I recall, she spoiled it all when she got hit, by running round like a demented ninja and using profane language. I very much doubt that Butch or Sundance did that.
For my part, I stayed put, the whole time. Even when it was all over I came out with my hands up shouting " I'm a girl! I'm a girl!" Just incase there were any warriors, like the Japanese, who didn't know the war was over but might draw the line at shooting a blubbering, quivering, scaredy cat Doris.
My boys were thrilled at my adventure, they think I have the heart of a lion. But like the lion in the Wizard of Oz, I just misplaced my nerve, added to which, I just don't have any competitive urges.
I hope that I could rise to a real challenge and be brave, like Gideon, just so long as I didn't feel like a berk in costume playing a make believe game.
Don't be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go. (Joshua 1 v 9)
For a wimp like me, that is the best news.
Comments
May. 18, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Leigh2
I love this story...and I would be the exact same way. :o) You are quickly becoming one of my favorite bloggers!
May. 18, 2006 - I love your story
Posted by Canadagirl
I found you off of Leigh2 web page, I can see why she really likes your blogg. I have four boys myself 13, 11, 7, and 5. My oldest has talked about wanting to go paint balling and my husband went once early in our marraige. ( almost a decade and a half ago) You are a brave soul not matter what part you played. I do plan to visit you and glean wisdom of a mother who has had four boys too.
In Him,
-Canadagirl
May. 18, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jayfromcleveland
Clare, as a long time Cleveland fan, I can sympathize with the plight of the Arsenal. As I write, the Cleveland Cavaliers (basketball) lead the series over Detroit. But no matter how far they get in the playoffs, I have every expectation that the Cleveland team will choke at the most heartbreaking moment, as Cleveland teams always do.
I don't "get" this "football" thing with which you Europeans are so enamored. We have lots of kids here in the USA who play "soccer" as kids, but when they become adults, they learn to love a *proper* game of football (which no US fan would EVER call "footie"!) Another thing -- why are athletic games in the UK collectively called "sport" whilst we Yanks call them "sports"? Seems like "sport" is in the singular and should only refer to one game, not all. l8r, -j
May. 18, 2006 - So Like Me!
Posted by mamasmurf
I'm just the same -
1. What is the point of football? Now rugby, that's a different kettle of fish!
2. Hated hockey!! Hated netball!! What did I end up doing when I started teaching - coaching the netball team! They actually won!
3. I'd have hidden 'til the bitter end too (in fact, if I'd been there with you, I'd probably still be there now!)
May. 20, 2006 - LOVE this blog!
Posted by Buckeyeblog
You are such a RIOT!! I love reading your blog!
I, too, had to play field hockey in high school gym (p.e. ...whatever). Hated it! Yep, I was one who would get WAAAAAAAAAY out in the field and just stand because nothing ever came out that way - and I liked it like that!
Loved your paintball episode. I giggled through the whole thing...another reason for my family to think I'm nuts! ha!
Anyway...I thought you'd be interested in how my teen dd's and I finished out our school year. Let me know what you think after reading, "Wrapping Up the School Year with Princess Diana" on my blog.
Blessings from Ohio, Kim Wolf<><
May. 20, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by ihopeyoudance
Ha! You're my kind of athlete! One of my most vivid memories from childhood is being forced to play softball in p.e.... boys and girls together. I quickly discovered (drumroll pleeease... the OUTFIELD!!!!!) I'd run to a place as far out as possible where I could relax, and... think. One day, as I was thinking, a ball actually made it out to where I was. It hit me squarely in the forehead while I was busy... thinking. I know it must have hurt terribly, but my memory is only of the feeling of mortification as my classmates jeered at me because I never even flinched as the ball flew through the air on the way to connecting with my forehead, never even lifted my glove. I just wish I'd had enough self awareness to say to those "glove raising" athletes... "Hey, I'm an artist... I'm thinking creative thoughts... so go play somewhere else with your silly ball!
Ruth:)
May. 20, 2006 - HI
Posted by Jocelyndixon
I just thought I would stop by and say HI!!
I have added you to my friends and welcome you to do the same....
Sincerely,
Myrtle Dimple hardbottle
May. 22, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by HeartnSoul
Too funny! I'm standing with you in the sports stupefaction. I did hear that Rugby is a different kind of sport, more civilized if you will.
Had to LOL at the paintball. I've never played but watched dh and boys try to shoot each other. It was very strange to watch, I was rooting for the boys.... lol
We had to play co-ed "flag football" in PE in elementary school. The boys did not think the girls knew anything so they just ignored us mostly, which I decided was boring so I intercepted the ball and made a touchdown. It was pure pleasure but I didn't care to do it again lol.
blessings
Denise T