But the best of all are friendships. I have been blessed with some wonderful friends.
I met Julie at Queen Charlottes when we were student midwives. She attended two of my births. I lay with my head in her lap when I laboured with Dominic. When I had Gabriel she was there too. Andi, heavily pregnant with Tilly, was looking after me. This time it was a problematic labour. I had been induced a couple of weeks prior to my due date owing to concerns over fetal well being, a very different birth to the low key home birth a few years earlier. Julie and Pauline, as before, were in attendance.
Julie is cool. At one point, surrounded by all the high tech paraphernalia that I had so hoped to avoid, I looked up despairingly and saw Julie, leaning against the resusitaire eating a yoghurt. She grinned and gave me a little thumbs up. Funny, the mundane little things that lift your spirits, things that stay etched in the memory. Julie eating a yogurt . It made an abnormal situation a little more homely somehow. No disaster expected here, no need to be afraid, the quiet, benign, watchful midwife is eating a yoghurt.
During one rather broke period she lived with us for a while. Owing to her habit of stopping off at Shams fish bar for a saveloy and chips on the way home from work, she was known as Junk Food Julie ( maybe the yoghurt was a healthy abberation)
She was a very outdoorsy girl. She went through a big kite flying phase. She said it felt "elemental". On some memorable weekends, she got us all flying her kite on the beach. We caught the bug. My husband bought a stunt kite. I drove down with her to the Seven Sisters one day. It was blowing an enormous gale when we got to the coast. Me and the kids stayed in the car and watched her flying the kite. I thought she was going to blow away. We caught some of the exhilaration just watching the kite swooping and diving, and Julies hair making some shapes that nature never intended. Then we had chips and went home.
Everyone loved her.
When she went to New Zealand five years ago it felt like a little death. The Irish held wakes for those who emmigrated years ago, and thats how it felt saying goodbye to Julie.
She nearly did die a couple of years later in a terrible head on crash.People rallied round. One friend, also from Charlottes, came to the hospital and bathed her, some Samoans sat round her bed and prayed for her. We felt helpless to do more than send flowers and annoy the nursing staff with endless questions, but we were grateful that she wasn't alone
For a time she was in an electric wheelchair, bought from the proceeds of a benefit fundraiser held by new friends. Her recuperation took an age. She exchanged sailing and surfing for the more sedate sport of bowls, a pastime that can be enjoyed when only one arm is functioning. she was told to forget any hope of practising as a midwife. It was a rather bleak time.
But mend she did. She came back to England last week on a visit for her dads 80th birthday.
Andi, Claire and I greedily whisked her away for a weekend in Dorset. Just us, and Andis latest sweet bubba Lola. We drank wine and ate chocolate. We went on a cliff top walk and ate a pub lunch overlooking the sea. The weather was perfect. She is just the same. No hint of the cataclysm that nearly took her away. She is still the same loveable, accepting , philosophical, interesting and arrestingly beautiful Julie that we waved off five years ago.
In a somewhat sentimental frame of mind I came across this quote on friendship:
" Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead. Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather now instead" -- Anna Cummins
So Julie, this is for you, with alot of love.
And finally, if you can forgive me quoting scripture to you:
"The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace."
Comments
Oct. 18, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jayfromcleveland
"Yogurt" or "yoghurt" -- must be another one'a them "I say to-may-to, you say to-mah-to" sorta things!
Very nice Claire, I'm sure Julie is touched. It's tough when good friends move away. Matter of fact, we have a couple from New Zealand that we are tight with, and email just doesn't cut it. You oughta try to get there sometime like we did in '92. It really is "God's Own Country."
Oct. 20, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by ihopeyoudance
Julie sounds like a treasure... I have a few friends like that, one or two, and count myself blessed to be a part of their lives.
Oct. 20, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by dtandfambly
This is beautifully written!! Thanks for sharing the joy of friendships and reminding me to cherish my friends!
Tricia
Oct. 22, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by callmekate
What a beautiful tribute to your friend. And how blessed you have been to know her. Good friendships are such a treasure and quite rare, unfortunately. Enjoyed your post very much!
Kate
Oct. 25, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jayfromcleveland
Cleveland calling... check this out....