Jan. 15, 2008 - Have Thine Own Way

After my last post, I've felt God tweaking my conscience a bit.  I've heard Lynn Anderson singing "I beg your pardon.  I never promised you a rose garden!"  That has been followed up with Hebrews 12:4-11:

“ My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
      Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
       For whom the LORD loves He chastens,
      And scourges every son whom He receives.”

If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?  But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.  Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness.  Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (NKJV)

Chasten is not a word we use a lot these days.  I had to look it up.  It means "to inflict suffering upon for purposes of moral improvement."  Love this definition: "To rid of excess; refine or purify."

So while I do want good things for my children, more than anything, I want them to become holy.  So please Lord, do as we've all sung so many times in church.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me after Thy will,
While I am waiting, yielded and still.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Search me and try me, Master, today!
Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now,
As in Thy presence humbly I bow.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Wounded and weary, help me, I pray!
Power, all power, surely is Thine!
Touch me and heal me, Savior divine.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Hold o’er my being absolute sway!
Fill with Thy Spirit ’till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me.

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Jan. 14, 2008 - Peace

I love this quote by Thomas Paine back in 1776:

"If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace."

What more can be said for the desire that is on all our hearts as parents?

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Jan. 10, 2008 - Time to Eat My Words

I've been blogging long enough that I can look back at some old entries and eat my words.  The one that is most on my mind these days is the entry titled Teaching Your Child to Come.  Here's what I wrote:

Reading Michael and Debi Pearl's newsletter this month, I found a wonderful thing that I have put into place here in our home and I am already seeing the fruit!  Here is an excerpt from the article that I read, titled "Training a Child to Come".

 

"When Gracie was first born, every time I picked her up I would say, “Come to mama.”  This simple, cheerful command was conditioning my tiny baby to come to me in response to my voice. She came to associate the command with feelings of being close to me. Even though at one week old she had no idea what “Come to mama” meant, nonetheless, she quickly came to identify the sound, rhythm, and tone of my voice with the pleasure of being drawn to me.  I hoped that after she became mobile and heard my command to come, she would respond without hesitation, and at 22 months of age, it has worked beautifully. And it is a good thing I got the jumpstart on training, because everyone will tell you that Gracie is the most impetuous and independent of all the nine Pearl grandkids."

 

I started doing this with our 7-month-old about three weeks ago.  Everytime I pick him up, I say, "Come to Mama."  Then I give him a big squoosh when I pick him up.  :-)  And now when he's playing on the floor and I want him to come to me, I say, "Come to Mama!" and he takes off across the floor to me with a big ol' smile!  I never had this with our three other kids. 

 

Darin, my husband, has not been saying, "Come to Daddy" when he picks up Henry.  So to test this thing, Darin called to Henry to "Come to Daddy," but Henry did not come without a lot of coaxing.  Then a few minutes later I called for him to come and he came without a moment's hesitation!  Darin is now saying "Come to Daddy" when he picks-up Henry.  ;-) 

 

This little trick worked great as long as Third Son was crawling.  But once he started walking, forget about it!  Do I sound a little bit bitter when I say that I think Gracie is not as impetuous and independent as Shoshonna thinks she is????  ;-)

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Aug. 23, 2007 - Bringing Up Baby, Part 2

So I started praying that God would show me what it meant to base our homeschool on the Bible and I received an answer through another book that He placed in our path.  I've written a post on how the book Ten P's in a Pod fired up my husband and me in the area of Bible reading.  We have begun reading to our kids from the Bible two, and we aim for three times each day.  We believe that God is less concerned with Biblically based curricula than He is with us going straight to the Word with our children.  We believe that is what is meant by basing our homeschool on the Bible.  Not sure that others would say it means the same thing to them, but that's what we believe God is telling us.  What this has meant for us is a family who is learning how to work harder and faster to fit the chores and play that we want into our day so that we are sure of getting in the All Important Bible Reading.

A little blurb from Ten P's in a Pod has been ringing through my head.  The book was written by Arnold Pent III, one of the sons.  This is what he said his mother said about all the Bible reading she and her husband did with their children:

My mother has often said, "During the time when the children were all much younger and going through rebellious stages of one kind and another, it just didn't seem we were making progress with all the Bible reading we did.  But as the months and years went by, and they started becoming conscious of the world around them, I saw that spiritual seed coming to life and giving an unending stream of Godly insight and a desire and determination to spend their lives for Christ."

And who doesn't want that for our children??????  We are taking Arnold's Mom's words to the bank and counting on their reliability!  We're taking God's word for it as well.  ;-)  In Joshua 1:8, He says, "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."

So the Bible is my new parenting book and my search for the perfect parenting book is over!

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Aug. 22, 2007 - Bringing Up Baby

A friend of mine and I have scoured the earth's best parenting books.  We read them together, have special meetings at the library to talk about our inspiriations we have gathered from them, then go our separate ways and proceed to do little, if nothing, that we have learned from all those books.  We truly have been looking for that magic potion that would tell us the way to lead our kids away from their character issues.  Yet everything we read seemed to be lacking, even though most of what we read was written by Christians.

About two years ago, my husband and I read the book When You Rise Up by R.C. Sproul, Jr.  Great book.  Not necessarily about parenting tricks, but more about discipling our children.  We loved the book when we read it, and this small excerpt stuck in my brain:

What does it take to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?  The Bible, and the Holy Spirit to illumine the Bible.  I have a Bible.  I have several, in fact.  And the Bible tells me that it equips me for every good work.  It is a good work to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Therefore, it equips me to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

It stuck in my brain, but meant nothing to me in a PRACTICAL sense.  Then about a year and a half later, I was reading a blog, and the writer said, "we base our homeschool on the Bible."  I was glad to read that, and at the same time, thought to myself, "What does that LOOK like?  What does that MEAN?"  We read the Bible to our kids every day.  Did that mean that we also based our homeschool on the Bible????  I didn't know, so I started praying about it.

To be continued......

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Jun. 15, 2007 - Wait Not

This is a poem included in the book Home-Making by J.R. Miller.

"Wait not till the little hands are at rest
Ere you fill them full of flowers;
Wait not for the crowning tuberose
To make sweet life's last sad hours
But while, in life busy household band,
Your darlings still need your guiding hand,
Oh fill their lives with sweetness.

Remember the homes whence the light has fled,
Where the rose has faded away;
And the love that glows in youthful hearts,
Oh, cherish it while you may,
And make your home a garden of flowers,
Where joy shall bloom through childhood's hours,
And fill young lives with sweetness."

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Jun. 13, 2007 - Baby Boy

Second Son ran into my bedroom this morning with the news that he had pulled his second loose tooth.  He was so excited.  My husband pulled his first tooth out, so it was a big deal to him to have pulled this one out on his own.  I was watching him while he was telling the story of how it all came about and he looked so big and seems to be growing up so much.  It just broke my heart.  :-)  For so long he was THE baby.  He was just about six when Third Son was born.  Habit is hard to break and I keep thinking of him as my baby, even though in December he will officially be the "middle child."  God bless him.  ;-) 

Anyway, in honor of my baby boy, I wanted to post this article that I wrote a few years ago for our homeschool support group's newsletter.  It's all about him.

Grace from God
October, 2003

For so long, I have focused on Ben and his schooling, he being our oldest.  And one of the mantras in the homeschooling community seems to be “teach to the oldest.”  I generally agree with that statement, but wonder if I was taking it a little too far as God was bringing my vision into focus on our youngest son, Jack.  Common knowledge states that the middle child is usually the most overlooked, but as I observe homeschooling families, it seems the youngest are left out the most, as we all work so hard to provide those perfect teachable moments for our school aged children.  I began to feel God pointing this problem out to me, in my own home, and I began asking Him which way He wanted me to go. 

And as I prayed, I felt God softening my heart towards this busy boy who is in to everything he can reach.  This is the three-year-old boy whose favorite way to speak is as a growling tiger, who loves to jump so much that we bought him a mini-trampoline, whose favorite question is “Can I touch it?”, and can run away faster than the blinking of an eye.  He offers this old mom a challenge on a daily basis!  And whereas before, I was losing my cool with him when I found him in one of those situations that would have driven me crazy, I found that with God’s grace, I’ve been able to go with the flow.

Perfect example.  Some friends were coming over for a visit.  As they pulled into the driveway, Jack ran into the bathroom to go potty, but rather than getting up on the toilet to do his business, I guess he thought it was more fun to watch it go all over the bathroom floor.  Very funny.  Not a biggie.  Clean it up, and move on with our visit.  But during our visit, Jack pushed a chair over to one of the cabinets that houses all our fun, artsy-craftsy stuff.  He climbed onto the counter, opened the door and found a brand new bottle of silver glitter!  He dumped the entire bottle all over the counter and kitchen floor.  Hey, we’ve got a Kirby…suck it up!  And to wrap everything up in a neat and tidy bow, as our friends left, Jack gave a replay of the bathroom incident. 

But God has been faithful to me!  As I cleaned up each of those messes, I found that I wasn’t wishing over and over for Jack to get older so he would stop doing stuff like that.  I found myself thinking about all the detail cleaning I was given the opportunity to do!  If Jack had not spilled the glitter all over the floor, it would have been a long time before I took time to use the vacuum hose to clean out the nooks and crannies in our kitchen.  And as I cleaned the bathroom floor, I found myself also reaching out for the baseboards and giving them a good scrub. 

I could give more examples of the great cleaning situations Jack has put me in just during the last two or three days!  Like today when he poured all of his bubble mixture into the bathroom sink and added water and had a grand time playing in the bubbles while splashing the water and soap all over the floor and himself.  Praise God!  Snap a picture, let him play and marvel at my blessing as I get to detail clean the floor yet again!

What a blessing God has provided me in Jack, and I can’t thank Him enough for trading out my old, sour attitude about the situations in which I find myself with him.  I wonder what sort of messages I was sending all of my children as I threw my little mini-fits about another mess to clean up.  As I prayed for direction from God concerning my family, I imagine Him sitting on His throne shaking His head and saying, “You bet!  Another day, another round of forgiveness and second chances!”  He’s so good!

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Feb. 26, 2007 - Family Circles

Spending time with our kids is important to my husband and me, and yet we struggle to make the time to do so.  I am the worst because if there is a task in front of me that needs to be done, I have a hard time doing anything else but that task.  I'm a slave to laundry!  ;-)

A resource that has helped us to be more consistent in this area is Family Circles from Doorposts.  This is a great resource and our kids literally stand at the refrigerator talking amongst themselves about what they get to do with Dad or Mom next.  Music to our ears! 

Here is what our Family Circles looks like.  DH and I were just talking about it yesterday, and we realize that we need to add in our 11-month old!  :-)

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Nov. 15, 2006 - How to Teach Your Child to Come

Reading Michael and Debi Pearl's newsletter this month, I found a wonderful thing that I have put into place here in our home and I am already seeing the fruit!  Here is an excerpt from the article that I read, titled "Training a Child to Come".

 

"When Gracie was first born, every time I picked her up I would say, “Come to mama.”  This simple, cheerful command was conditioning my tiny baby to come to me in response to my voice. She came to associate the command with feelings of being close to me. Even though at one week old she had no idea what “Come to mama” meant, nonetheless, she quickly came to identify the sound, rhythm, and tone of my voice with the pleasure of being drawn to me.  I hoped that after she became mobile and heard my command to come, she would respond without hesitation, and at 22 months of age, it has worked beautifully. And it is a good thing I got the jumpstart on training, because everyone will tell you that Gracie is the most impetuous and independent of all the nine Pearl grandkids."

 

I started doing this with our 7-month-old about three weeks ago.  Everytime I pick him up, I say, "Come to Mama."  Then I give him a big squoosh when I pick him up.  :-)  And now when he's playing on the floor and I want him to come to me, I say, "Come to Mama!" and he takes off across the floor to me with a big ol' smile!  I never had this with our three other kids. 

 

Darin, my husband, has not been saying, "Come to Daddy" when he picks up Henry.  So to test this thing, Darin called to Henry to "Come to Daddy," but Henry did not come without a lot of coaxing.  Then a few minutes later I called for him to come and he came without a moment's hesitation!  Darin is now saying "Come to Daddy" when he picks-up Henry.  ;-) 

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Nov. 12, 2006 - Tie a String Around Your Finger

I'm finding that I have to learn the same things over and over again.  I am amazed at how I learn something and I think I will never be the same again and then a year or so later, I come across the same thing and say, "OHHHH, yeah!!!  I forgot about that!" 

 

I did that with an article that I wrote for a homeschool support group that I used to lead.  I was going through my old documents, reading some of the articles I wrote when I came across one titled Handwriting on the Wall.  I wrote about what our priority should be when it comes to homeschooling.  After a pregnancy, birth, new baby, and a new student in our school (our six-year-old, Jack), I was feeling the pressure of trying to get everything "done" (can that word REALLY be allowed in a homeschooling mom's vocabulary????) when this article reminded me to keep my kids and my vision pointed towards God.

 

But I guess God didn't think I remembered my lesson well enough.  The kids and I are going through a "Read the Bible in a Year" plan.  We just finished Exodus last week.  When we got to Exodus 35 I was hit with another "OHHHH, yeah!" moment.  Verses 30-35 say:

"And Moses said to the children of Israel, 'See, the Lord has called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah; and He has filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom and understanding, in knowledge and all manner of workmanship, to design artistic works, to work in gold and silver and bronze, in cutting jewels for setting, in carving wood, and to work in all manner of artistic workmanship.

'And he has put in his heart the ability to teach, in him and Aholiab the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan.  He has filled them with skill to do all manner of work of the engraver and the designer and the tapestry maker, in blue, purple, and scarlet thread, and fine linen, and of the weaver - those who do every work and those who design artistic works.'"

 

Sometimes I start to worry about if the kids will have the skills they need to get a job and support themselves and a family.  I think about this mostly when I am reminded about the few outside activities our kids are involved in.  Here in D/FW, kids are run ragged from one event to another, and that is just not mine and Darin's style.  ;-)  We want family time.  We want dinners together.  We want our kids to have something in common beyond Darin and me being their parents, and they can only get that if they spend time together schooling, playing, working, being bored....but I still have moments of doubt, when I wonder if we should take co-op classes, Tae Kwan Do, sports camps, church camps, music camps, plain ol' regular camps  HA! 

 

But God is good to remind me that He is in control.  I know He created my children with a purpose in mind and that if Darin and I spend our time teaching our kids to seek Him, he will reward them and us with Himself and ultimately reveal His plan for our service and the skills to carry it out - one way or another.  My Dad told me about a man who became a preacher, but didn't know how to read.  Doh!  That would be important!  So he prayed and asked God to help him read, and God gave him the wisdom to read.  Gladys Aylward wanted to be a missionary to China, but was kicked out of missionary school!  Doh!  But God had already given her the skills He wanted her to have as a missionary in China.  She had been a maid in England, and when she finally arrived in China under her own steam, what did she do?  Maid duty!  Who knew?????  So kewl!

 

Two great books that are a wonderful encouragement in this area are Safely Home by Tom Eldredge and When You Rise Up by R.C. Sproul, Jr.  If you feel sometimes-inadequate as a homeschooling parent, these are the books to encourage you on your journey.  I hope I have also encouraged you!  :-)

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