Jun. 15, 2007 - Wait Not
This is a poem included in the book Home-Making by J.R. Miller.
"Wait not till the little hands are at rest
Ere you fill them full of flowers;
Wait not for the crowning tuberose
To make sweet life's last sad hours
But while, in life busy household band,
Your darlings still need your guiding hand,
Oh fill their lives with sweetness.
Remember the homes whence the light has fled,
Where the rose has faded away;
And the love that glows in youthful hearts,
Oh, cherish it while you may,
And make your home a garden of flowers,
Where joy shall bloom through childhood's hours,
And fill young lives with sweetness."
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Jun. 13, 2007 - Baby Boy
Second Son ran into my bedroom this morning with the news that he had pulled his second loose tooth. He was so excited. My husband pulled his first tooth out, so it was a big deal to him to have pulled this one out on his own. I was watching him while he was telling the story of how it all came about and he looked so big and seems to be growing up so much. It just broke my heart. :-) For so long he was THE baby. He was just about six when Third Son was born. Habit is hard to break and I keep thinking of him as my baby, even though in December he will officially be the "middle child." God bless him. ;-)
Anyway, in honor of my baby boy, I wanted to post this article that I wrote a few years ago for our homeschool support group's newsletter. It's all about him.
Grace from God
October, 2003
For so long, I have focused on Ben and his schooling, he being our oldest. And one of the mantras in the homeschooling community seems to be “teach to the oldest.” I generally agree with that statement, but wonder if I was taking it a little too far as God was bringing my vision into focus on our youngest son, Jack. Common knowledge states that the middle child is usually the most overlooked, but as I observe homeschooling families, it seems the youngest are left out the most, as we all work so hard to provide those perfect teachable moments for our school aged children. I began to feel God pointing this problem out to me, in my own home, and I began asking Him which way He wanted me to go.
And as I prayed, I felt God softening my heart towards this busy boy who is in to everything he can reach. This is the three-year-old boy whose favorite way to speak is as a growling tiger, who loves to jump so much that we bought him a mini-trampoline, whose favorite question is “Can I touch it?”, and can run away faster than the blinking of an eye. He offers this old mom a challenge on a daily basis! And whereas before, I was losing my cool with him when I found him in one of those situations that would have driven me crazy, I found that with God’s grace, I’ve been able to go with the flow.
Perfect example. Some friends were coming over for a visit. As they pulled into the driveway, Jack ran into the bathroom to go potty, but rather than getting up on the toilet to do his business, I guess he thought it was more fun to watch it go all over the bathroom floor. Very funny. Not a biggie. Clean it up, and move on with our visit. But during our visit, Jack pushed a chair over to one of the cabinets that houses all our fun, artsy-craftsy stuff. He climbed onto the counter, opened the door and found a brand new bottle of silver glitter! He dumped the entire bottle all over the counter and kitchen floor. Hey, we’ve got a Kirby…suck it up! And to wrap everything up in a neat and tidy bow, as our friends left, Jack gave a replay of the bathroom incident.
But God has been faithful to me! As I cleaned up each of those messes, I found that I wasn’t wishing over and over for Jack to get older so he would stop doing stuff like that. I found myself thinking about all the detail cleaning I was given the opportunity to do! If Jack had not spilled the glitter all over the floor, it would have been a long time before I took time to use the vacuum hose to clean out the nooks and crannies in our kitchen. And as I cleaned the bathroom floor, I found myself also reaching out for the baseboards and giving them a good scrub.
I could give more examples of the great cleaning situations Jack has put me in just during the last two or three days! Like today when he poured all of his bubble mixture into the bathroom sink and added water and had a grand time playing in the bubbles while splashing the water and soap all over the floor and himself. Praise God! Snap a picture, let him play and marvel at my blessing as I get to detail clean the floor yet again!
What a blessing God has provided me in Jack, and I can’t thank Him enough for trading out my old, sour attitude about the situations in which I find myself with him. I wonder what sort of messages I was sending all of my children as I threw my little mini-fits about another mess to clean up. As I prayed for direction from God concerning my family, I imagine Him sitting on His throne shaking His head and saying, “You bet! Another day, another round of forgiveness and second chances!” He’s so good!
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Feb. 26, 2007 - Family Circles
Spending time with our kids is important to my husband and me, and yet we struggle to make the time to do so. I am the worst because if there is a task in front of me that needs to be done, I have a hard time doing anything else but that task. I'm a slave to laundry! ;-)
A resource that has helped us to be more consistent in this area is Family Circles from Doorposts. This is a great resource and our kids literally stand at the refrigerator talking amongst themselves about what they get to do with Dad or Mom next. Music to our ears!
Here is what our Family Circles looks like. DH and I were just talking about it yesterday, and we realize that we need to add in our 11-month old! :-)
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Nov. 15, 2006 - How to Teach Your Child to Come
Reading Michael and Debi Pearl's newsletter this month, I found a wonderful thing that I have put into place here in our home and I am already seeing the fruit! Here is an excerpt from the article that I read, titled "Training a Child to Come".
"When Gracie was first born, every time I picked her up I would say, “Come to mama.” This simple, cheerful command was conditioning my tiny baby to come to me in response to my voice. She came to associate the command with feelings of being close to me. Even though at one week old she had no idea what “Come to mama” meant, nonetheless, she quickly came to identify the sound, rhythm, and tone of my voice with the pleasure of being drawn to me. I hoped that after she became mobile and heard my command to come, she would respond without hesitation, and at 22 months of age, it has worked beautifully. And it is a good thing I got the jumpstart on training, because everyone will tell you that Gracie is the most impetuous and independent of all the nine Pearl grandkids."
I started doing this with our 7-month-old about three weeks ago. Everytime I pick him up, I say, "Come to Mama." Then I give him a big squoosh when I pick him up. :-) And now when he's playing on the floor and I want him to come to me, I say, "Come to Mama!" and he takes off across the floor to me with a big ol' smile! I never had this with our three other kids.
Darin, my husband, has not been saying, "Come to Daddy" when he picks up Henry. So to test this thing, Darin called to Henry to "Come to Daddy," but Henry did not come without a lot of coaxing. Then a few minutes later I called for him to come and he came without a moment's hesitation! Darin is now saying "Come to Daddy" when he picks-up Henry. ;-)
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Nov. 12, 2006 - Tie a String Around Your Finger
I'm finding that I have to learn the same things over and over again. I am amazed at how I learn something and I think I will never be the same again and then a year or so later, I come across the same thing and say, "OHHHH, yeah!!! I forgot about that!"
I did that with an article that I wrote for a homeschool support group that I used to lead. I was going through my old documents, reading some of the articles I wrote when I came across one titled Handwriting on the Wall. I wrote about what our priority should be when it comes to homeschooling. After a pregnancy, birth, new baby, and a new student in our school (our six-year-old, Jack), I was feeling the pressure of trying to get everything "done" (can that word REALLY be allowed in a homeschooling mom's vocabulary????) when this article reminded me to keep my kids and my vision pointed towards God.
But I guess God didn't think I remembered my lesson well enough. The kids and I are going through a "Read the Bible in a Year" plan. We just finished Exodus last week. When we got to Exodus 35 I was hit with another "OHHHH, yeah!" moment. Verses 30-35 say:
"And Moses said to the children of Israel, 'See, the Lord has called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah; and He has filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom and understanding, in knowledge and all manner of workmanship, to design artistic works, to work in gold and silver and bronze, in cutting jewels for setting, in carving wood, and to work in all manner of artistic workmanship.
'And he has put in his heart the ability to teach, in him and Aholiab the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan. He has filled them with skill to do all manner of work of the engraver and the designer and the tapestry maker, in blue, purple, and scarlet thread, and fine linen, and of the weaver - those who do every work and those who design artistic works.'"
Sometimes I start to worry about if the kids will have the skills they need to get a job and support themselves and a family. I think about this mostly when I am reminded about the few outside activities our kids are involved in. Here in D/FW, kids are run ragged from one event to another, and that is just not mine and Darin's style. ;-) We want family time. We want dinners together. We want our kids to have something in common beyond Darin and me being their parents, and they can only get that if they spend time together schooling, playing, working, being bored....but I still have moments of doubt, when I wonder if we should take co-op classes, Tae Kwan Do, sports camps, church camps, music camps, plain ol' regular camps HA!
But God is good to remind me that He is in control. I know He created my children with a purpose in mind and that if Darin and I spend our time teaching our kids to seek Him, he will reward them and us with Himself and ultimately reveal His plan for our service and the skills to carry it out - one way or another. My Dad told me about a man who became a preacher, but didn't know how to read. Doh! That would be important! So he prayed and asked God to help him read, and God gave him the wisdom to read. Gladys Aylward wanted to be a missionary to China, but was kicked out of missionary school! Doh! But God had already given her the skills He wanted her to have as a missionary in China. She had been a maid in England, and when she finally arrived in China under her own steam, what did she do? Maid duty! Who knew????? So kewl!
Two great books that are a wonderful encouragement in this area are Safely Home by Tom Eldredge and When You Rise Up by R.C. Sproul, Jr. If you feel sometimes-inadequate as a homeschooling parent, these are the books to encourage you on your journey. I hope I have also encouraged you! :-)
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Nov. 5, 2006 - Be Faithful
A few years ago, while reading A Charlotte Mason Companion, I came across a wonderful bit of advice from Karen Andreola, and I have tried to follow it faithfully. It has made all the difference in our home on Monday mornings!
"Years ago, I made the mistake of allowing my young children time off from certain good actions on the weekend before certain habits were solidly formed. My failing became apparent to me when I discovered that - like the month of March - Monday morning came in like a lion! To insure that Monday comes in like a lamb, those weekday actions of neatness, politeness, obedience, must be employed on the weekend, too. A new goal for me was: Let good actions not become relaxed on the weekends. Only then would these good actions become good habits." (73)
Our kids do have the regular daily chores on Saturday, but on Sundays we relax and only ask that the kids make up their beds, keep their rooms neat, and do their daily pick-ups (in our house, that means picking-up things in an assigned room and putting them away).
Sow an act, reap a habit,
sow a habit, reap a character,
sow a character, reap a destiny.
- Thomas a Kempis
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Oct. 18, 2006 - Sinners in the Hands of an Angry Mom
I was listening to our local Christian station the other night as I drove home from the grocery store. For the life of me, I can't remember who was speaking, but I heard something that I have been carrying around with me since that night. The speaker said that when Jonathan Edwards delivered his sermon, Sinners in the Hands of An Angry God, he did it without the pastoral theatrics that we have sometimes been exposed to.
I think I read this sermon back in college. You can imagine that I don't remember much about it. I doubt I was interested in what was in front of me at the time, so I got on the web to read the sermon again, and I have to say that if there were any sermon that was set-up to be delivered by a yeller/pacer, then this one is it. Just the title of the message alone would give anyone plenty of material for theatrics! Read this exerpt in your finest T.V. evangelist voice:
"The bow of God's wrath is bent, and the arrow made ready on the string, and justice bends the arrow at your heart, and strains the bow, and it is nothing but the mere pleasure of God, and that of an angry God, without any promise or obligation at all, that keeps the arrow one moment from being made drunk with your blood. Thus all you that never passed under a great change of heart, by the mighty power of the Spirit of God upon your souls; all you that were never born again, and made new creatures, and raised from being dead in sin, to a state of new, and before altogether unexperienced light and life, are in the hands of an angry God."
Now that's some heavy stuff! There's a lot more where that came from.
This sermon was a huge influence in the Great Awakening in the early 1700's, and it was all done without any yelling and screaming.
So what has been at the back of my mind these last few days is this: if Jonathan Edwards can deliver this sermon without theatrics and loud voice, and have the members of his congregation begging God for forgiveness, what's to stop me from speaking to my own kids without theatrics (you know what I mean!) and receiving the same results? Why can't I be a parent who never raises my voice to my children and yet gets immediate results when I speak? I really don't see why I can't. Here are my reasons why:
1) I'll bet a TON of prayer went into this sermon before it was written, while it was written, after it was written, before it was delivered, during its delivery and after its delivery.
I'll bet if I increase my prayer life in this area of childrearing, I won't be able to NOT see results.
2) To be more specific about Jonathan Edwards' prayers about this sermon, I'll bet he prayed for God to speak to the hearts of his congregation. I'll bet he prayed for God to SAVE his congregation.
Am I always asking God for these things for my children? No. Just every now and then. I'll bet I could change that!
3) The Word of God is active! Jonathan Edwards used God's Word, the Bible, to reach his congregation.
I pull out my Bible every now and then with the kids when there are behavior issues, but not nearly enough. God's Word can take the place of my theatrics and do a much better job than I ever could.
So now I just need to pray for myself. Pray that God would set my soul on fire for discipling my children without raising my voice, and feeling justified in doing so.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:1-8
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Oct. 10, 2006 - Elisabeth Elliot
I love Elisabeth Elliot. I receive her daily devotional from Back to the Bible. You can go here to subscribe to it, and others if you are interested. Here is today's devotional. It was encouraging to me because I do try to keep after the kids about little things, but sometimes I feel like such a nag! ;-)
Author: Elisabeth Elliot
Source: Keep A Quiet Heart
Scripture: Luke 16:10-12
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When we were growing up our parents taught us, by both word and example, to pay attention to little things. If you do a thing at all, do it thoroughly: make the sheets really smooth on the bed, sweep all the comers and move all the chairs when you sweep the kitchen, roll the toothpaste tube neatly and put the cap back on, clean the hair out of your brush each time you use it, hang your towel straight on the rod, fold your napkin and put it into the silver ring before you leave the table, never wet your finger when you turn pages. They kept promises made to us as faithfully as they kept those made to adults. They taught us to do the same.
You didn't accept an invitation to a party and then not turn up, or agree to help with the Vacation Bible School and back out because a more interesting activity presented itself. The only financial debt my parents ever incurred was a mortgage on a house, which my father explained was in a special class because it was real estate which would always have value.
When I went to boarding school the same principles I had been taught at home were emphasized. There was a hallway with small oriental rugs which we called "Character Hall" because the headmistress, Mrs. DuBose, could look down that hall from the armchair where she sat in the lobby and spot any student who kicked up the comer of a rug and did not replace it. She would call out to correct him, "It's those tiny little things in your life which will crack you up when you get out of this school!" In the little things our character was revealed. Our response would make or break us. "Don't go around with a Bible under your arm if you didn't sweep under the bed," she said, for she would have no pious talk coming out of a messy room.
"Great thoughts go best with common duties. Whatever therefore may be your office regard it as a fragment in an immeasurable ministry of love" (Bishop Brooke Foss Westcott, b. 1825).
It is not easy to find children or adults who are dependable, careful, thorough, and faithful. So many lives seem honeycombed with small failures, neglectful of the little things that make the difference between order and chaos. Perhaps it is because they are so seldom taught that visible things are signs of an invisible reality; that common duties may be "an immeasurable ministry of love." The spiritual training of souls must be inseparable from practical disciplines, as Jesus so plainly taught; "The man who can be trusted in little things can be trusted in great; the man who is dishonest in little things will be dishonest in great. If then you cannot be trusted with money, that tainted thing, who will trust you with genuine riches! And if you cannot be trusted with what is not yours, who will give you what is your very own?" (Luke 16:10-12, JB). (The footnote to "your very own" says, "Jesus is speaking of the most intimate Possessions a man can have; these are spiritual.")
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